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Thursday, December 31, 2015

Wear your cage today

On the final day of 2015, Mistress decided I would wear my cage today.  So .... I'm a caged husband.


She decided last night that I would wear it today, and told me as much.  This morning I had a 9am meeting with some business big shots.  At 8:15 I remembered that she expected me to be caged today.  I had a dilemma.  There was no way I had enough time now to put my cage and still make my very important meeting.  I went to her for some guidance on what to do.  Not surprisingly her immediate response was ... "Now you've earned a punishment.  Why do you think that my instructions are not important enough for you to follow?  Did you not wake-up early today.  Was my instruction to you simply not important enough to you to plan ahead for?  I am very disappointed.  Go to your meeting but you will punished.  Oh, and by the way, you will come immediately following and properly follow my instructions.  That cage better be on ASAP!"

Over the past 3 days and 2 nights, we have been without kids.  It has been glorious because we were allowed to exist in our natural state in our home.  Me naked and attentive and she comfortable and relaxed.  For the past 2 nights, I had the joy of remaining naked in her presence from 5pm to 8am the next morning.  I was edged constantly.  Teased and denied relentlessly.  i was spanked more in the last two days than I have been in the last 2 months.  Not because I was naughty, but just because she wanted to.  It was glorious and for that, I thank you very much Mistress.

I know better than to ask for one more orgasm before the year is over.  To date this year, I am at 5.  I was certainly hoping that was going to be the case.  We'll see.

Happiest wishes for the New Year to all of you, my dear, dear friends.

Monday, December 28, 2015

We'll be alone

 

One of my kids is off on a small little vacation with his friend's family.  The other will be headed to the slopes with his friend's family as well.  That will leave Mistress K. and I ALONE for a few days, and neither of us can contain our excitement.



Last night we were along for the night.  We were at home and we were in what I call our natural state.  Her fully clothed and me fully naked.  We were watching the football game right after dinner when she told me to go get her wand vibrator.  She had decided she was going to have a fully clothed orgasm right then ... because she could.



I returned, wand vibrator in hand and a growing erection at the prospect of being allowed to view her give herself an orgasm.  She started then stopped abruptly.  "Go get your butt plug and bring it back here.  I want to watch you fuck yourself while I masturbate."   Holy crap ....... yes!

She had me get on the floor in between her open legs and said "Go on, get busy".  I laid on my back, pulled my legs to my chest and slowly yet quickly pushed the plug into my bottom.  I could hear an audible moan over the hummmm of the vibrator as the small lug moved in and out of my ass.  She watched intently at the show she required I put on for her and in no time she had a huge orgasm. 

While she recovered I stood and stepped toward her and in my best puppy-dog face and voice, I pleaded for her to allow a ruined orgasm for me.  She grabbed my swollen cock and started stroking it, as if she was going to allow it and then she suddenly stopped, removed her hand and told me "no, not tonight."  "go wash those things and put them away.  We are finished for the evening."

There are times when I just want to ejaculate SOOO bad.  This was one of those times and Mistress denied me.  The anguish was terrible   ....  and I couldn't lover her more for imposing her will, what she wanted on me.  I'm in love!

I hope it's a fun week for all of us!

Friday, December 25, 2015

Thursday, December 24, 2015

What if your Christmas present was ......



... the ability to be able to script out completely, your absolute most favorite sexual adventure ever? Many of us lovingly enjoy living under specific rules in our relationships that limited our actual behavior to whatever our dominants want for us.  Like many of you, for me that is exactly how I wish to live in general.  Even so, I'm talking here though about the specifics of being allowed to script and cast what would be your most desirable sexual adventure, even outside of those rules if that applies.

There are no rules here except to say that I would ask that you be completely honest about what it might be.  You can include whatever real and actual rules, limitations or restrictions you currently live under (sub) or impose (Dom/Domme) if that is part of your ultimate fantasy, but aren't required to. 

Please ... I'd love to hear from all my friends here about what they would love to do, how they would do it, where it would happen and who it would be with. 

What if your Christmas present was going to be the ability to script that entire without fear of retribution, shame or guilt?  I'd love to see what you may come up with and then will details what mine would be in a future post.

In the meantime, everyone please hear me when I tell you ... I so very much love and appreciate all of you.  Whether you just come to lurk, participate anonymously or openly leave comments proudly next to your name, I can't even begin to tell you how very much I appreciate sharing my intimate lives with all of you.

Have a Blessed Christmas, a very Happy Holidays and a joyous and prosperous New Year!

Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Early Christmas Present

I did some Christmas shopping yesterday.  While I was out I came across this .....


It was in a store that had upscale kitchen items and was in among many other wood utensils.  I bought it for Mistress, and not because she has a shortage of wooden utensils in the kitchen.  It was if it jumped out at me and said "hey buddy, you and I are going to get to know each other very well."  When I went to the counter to pay for it, the middle aged sales lady suggested that I buy the wood oil that is used to preserve it.  She said that after a lot of use in the kitchen, the wood can dry and crack from being used for cooking and washed so often.  I said  "no thanks ... it wasn't going to be used for cooking."  There was obvious innuendo (at least to me) and she smiled just a bit, looked at me for a second, smiled again and continued to ring up my purchase.  I think she had an idea but was simply too gracious to imply anything to a complete stranger.  I thought about telling her what it was going to be used for, but I too am gracious and wouldn't dream of imposing such information on an unsuspecting person.

I gave it Mistress K. immediately upon returning home.  It was a Christmas gift but I didn't want to have to explain to the kids why dad made such a big deal about giving mom a wooden spoon on Christmas morning.

Here is another view:


You'll notice it's curved.  Mistress gave it a "tender, light test run this morning" and was thrilled to discover that the curve of the spoon matched the curve of my behind nicely.  As such, this little gift of love that I gave to my Mistress can deliver two very distinct and different types of ouchy!  I already know from a different wooden spoon that we have that the back side of the curved delivers a concentrate amount of stingy ouchy at the point of impact. 

With the business of the season and other vanilla things taking so much of our waking hours recently, Mistress K. and I have had little time to be together in our natural state.  We both expressed how much we "missed each other" lately and can't wait for the hustle of the season to be over.

Merry Christmas and Happiest of Holidays to all of my dear friends I have made over the past few years.  I can't even begin to tell you how important each one of you is to me, even though we have never met. 

Wednesday, December 16, 2015

How I was milked

I've had a couple of people ask how the milking went, so here goes ....

Monday turned out to be a very hectic day and as such, we didn't get to bed until very late and we were both very tired.  As I lay naked in our bed, waiting for Mistress K. to join me, I didn't know what, if anything to expect this night.  Mistress came to the edge of the bed, took a big drink of water and declared that my milking would be postponed for another time.  She was just not in the mood and wanted to kick the can down the road.

"Yes Mistress, as you wish" ...

She gets into bed.  She normally sleeps in the nude because I had asked her if she would do that for me several weeks ago.  For the most part, she does sleep naked every night.  This night she wore panties and a t-shirt because she was "cold".  I told her I understood the t-shirt but jokingly asked how her panties were going to help keep her warm.  She simply said that she was wearing panties because she had "things happening down there".  I thought she was referring to being on her period but it turned out that she was just wet.  The thought suddenly occurred to her that she was horny and removed her panties, ordered me to get my cock hard and "put it inside me". 

I was dead-ass tired and when she said the milking would be postponed, I was honestly relieved because laying there in bed felt so good.  I was seconds from falling asleep.  When she ordered me hard and inside her, I knew what I needed to do and complied.  She was on her back, perpendicular to me, her legs together and in the air while she removed her panties.  I was told I had been given enough time to get hard (30 seconds) and while she held that position, I was ordered inside of her.  She started masturbating and was on an obvious, rapid path toward an orgasm when she told me to get her vibrator.  After retrieving it and resuming the same position, she concentrated on what was a very fast, very deep orgasm, with me inside of her, tenderly pumping while trying to avoid an orgasm.

After she had her orgasm (an especially good one) and while I was still inside of her, she told me that my milking would happen tonight after all.  I was instructed to bury myself as deep inside of her as I could and then remain absolutely motionless.  "DO NOT move inside of me but your are to empty your balls", was the next thing out of her mouth.  The rare ruined orgasm while inside the happiest place on earth for me.  There was zero movement.  None.  Having just witnessed my Queen have a glorious orgasm and with the thought of being allowed inside of her, it didn't take much for me to just allow my cum to pump from my body into her.  There was zero movement and the only stimulation being the warmth and comfort of being inside of her. 

Milking accomplished, via ruined orgasm!

She turned to me, held my face a little, kissed and instructed me to go to sleep.   I just love the second Monday of every month.

Monday, December 14, 2015

Monday, December 7, 2015

I promise, this phase of referencing articles will pass



My last two post have been essentially comments about and referrals to others words that I found interesting, inspiring or both.  This post is no exception, but I promise that sharing other's thoughts wont be a lasting trend for me ... for too long.

I came across a post on FetLife here:

https://fetlife.com/groups/42/group_posts/8310943?utm_campaign=notifications&utm_medium=email&utm_source=new_group_discussion

It was commentary from a Fet member named DissectMe.  FetLife is lousy with miserable and deplorable posts and so when something that is smart and thinky-like appears, it's a real pleasure.  DissectMe is an obviously smart woman that cuts through the muck of FetLife with ease.  Her comments about the article, and the questions that followed, I thought were incredible. 

In her post, there was a link to an article entitled "3 Ways Men Wanting to ‘Focus On Her Pleasure’ During Sex Can Still Be Sexist".  Here is a direct link t the article:

http://everydayfeminism.com/2015/12/focusing-on-her-pleasure/

She also asked  "Do you see this as prevalent in the Female Dom/male sub dynamic?"

I read the article and the thought occurred to me ... there are rare occasions where the dynamic that Mistress K. and life love and live everyday, could actually apply and help in a vanilla relationship.  Most, if not all of the things the article talks about, simply don't exist in a loving, Female Led Marriage.  I understand that there exceptions because everyone's relationship is unique, as are the individuals in that relationship.  But for the most part, there is a natural defense against the issues discussed in the article. 

Made me feel good ....  *smile

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

*link to* Me and my Chaste Husband

For some reason today, I'm feeling all "sharey" and I feel the need to share more cool reading that I have come across, because you now how it is ... something strikes a cord in my mind and of course that automatically means that anyone I have ever "talked to" here must feel the same way I do ..... So why not post it?  *smile.  Forgive me for that.  Pressing on ........

Many of you may already read the blog "Me and My Chaste Husband".  It is a written by a lovely woman and Mistress Wife named Katie Christian.  She will tell you that Christian is not her real last name. 

Anyway, she writes some amazing, right to the point posts that are primarily devoted to male (her husband) enforced chastity.  I encourage you to go there and browse through some of the brilliantly written posts. 

Her most recent post (as of this writing) is especially wonderful.  You can read it by following the link below:

http://mychastehubby.blogspot.com/2015/11/is-it-time-to-trust-him.html?zx=ecfb63708b441d67

In it, you will find this sentence, which for many of us submissive husbands, sums up our true existence very nicely:

"I wanted the satisfaction of knowing that when we were intimate I would be satisfied, he would not simply put my desires first, they would be the singular goal."
 
 
Thank you Katie Christian ..........

7 Types of Marriage Betrayal

I absolutely believe that my life is not immune, but well protected from these things.  I am grateful that neither of us have to deal with these things (and others like them) too often.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/types-of-marriage-betrayal-that-are-often-overlooked_5654b1f6e4b0d4093a596f22?ncid=txtlnkusaolp00000592

I read this article and it immediately occurred to me that although my marriage is no perfect by any stretch of the imagination, it is very good.  I had a great deal of pride because the negative things that were listed in the article just don't exist in my marriage. 

I can't say for certain that these traits would've existed in our marriage if we hadn't chose the FLM path a few years ago, but I do know that the chances would've be far greater. 

I'm thankful ...  In the beginning, before I approached by wife and asked her to accept my submission, avoiding a marriage with the things described in the article was my primary goal.  I love you Mistress K., for allowing our life to happen.

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Throwback Tuesday

Immediately after I summoned the courage, approached my wife, the love of my life, and asked her accept my submission and to impose her domination on our marriage, (oh, and she agreed, duh) we set out to create some rules.  She tasked me with creating a draft list of rules that we could work from.  Below is the result of our first attempt.  Sadly, I do not know the date this was created.  Happily, hardly a thing has changed!

Rules:

 General

·         The Lady is the Dominant.  The pet is the submissive.

·         These rules may be amended or modified at any time at the sole discretion of The Lady

·         Pet will be kept in constant chastity to The Lady.  Such chastity is expected at all times whether it is voluntarily self-enforced, or The Lady has required the pet to wear a chastity device (lockable cage) that will prevent pet from touching or otherwise stimulating his penis, obtaining an erection or receiving stimulation directly against penis.

·         The pet acknowledges that his pleasure is derived from providing service and pleasure to The Lady.

·         The pet shall make every attempt to keep his body in pristine condition so as to further enhance the enjoyment of its use by The Lady.  As such, the pet shall maintain a completely shaved genital and anus area.  Pet shall submit to physical inspection of any part of pet’s body, at any time, for any reason by The Lady.

·         As a default and at all times, when The Lady and pet are securely alone (as determined by The Lady), pet shall be expected to be naked and to be kept naked even while performing normal duties and functions.  Pet shall be expected to become naked and remain so without being asked.  The Lady may require pet to wear something, anything, exclusively of The Lady’s choosing, as determined solely by The Lady. 

·         In normal life, during the normal course of a regular day, pet will wear normal clothes.  The Lady may require that the pet wear something in particular under pet’s “normal” clothes at her sole discretion as she deems appropriate.

·         All pets’ orgasms are owned by The Lady.  If pet is to have an orgasm, it will be because The Lady has allowed the pet to have it.  Any such permissible orgasm for the pet shall be achieved solely in a manner dictated by The Lady.

·         The pet will plan on having fewer orgasms than given the prohibition to masturbation. 

·         The Lady will manage and control the release of seminal fluid of the pet as The Lady deems appropriate.  Such release may or may not include orgasm, at the sole discretion of The Lady.

·         Pet will be required to orgasm on demand, or conversely, will be denied orgasm as The Lady deems necessary and at her sole discretion.

·         The duration and sensitivity/roughness of pets sexual performance at the pleasure of The Lady is at the sole discretion of the lady. 

·         Pet’s body belongs to The Lady.  As such, The Lady has exclusive use, control and direction of pet’s body. 

·         Any part of pet’s body is available for use by The Lady at any time, day or night, for the sexual, visual or physical pleasure of The Lady, in any way The Lady determines.  Pet may be required to perform sexual acts that give direct stimulation to The Lady or pet may be required to perform sexual acts on him for the visual pleasure of The Lady.  Any such acts are at the sole discretion of The Lady.

·         Any sexual demand/request made of pet by the Lady will be followed without question and with enthusiasm.

·         Pet is only allowed to have orgasm when given permission/instruction by The Lady.  When in the presence of The Lady, and when on the verge of achieving orgasm. Pet will always ask for permission to orgasm.  Pet will only be allowed to orgasm if such permission is granted by The Lady

·         Pet may not fondle, massage, stroke, rub or otherwise touch his penis (except when urinating and cleaning) without permission or instruction from The Lady.

·         Pet may not fondle, massage, rub, enter or otherwise pleasure his anus (except when pooping and cleaning) without permission or instruction from The Lady.

·         Pet will wear any accessory or device, externally or internally, the Lady deems necessary at any given time, for however long is deemed appropriate by The Lady, without hesitation and without argument.  Such device may be anything that might harness or control pet’s penis or something that may be inserted and held in pet’s ass. 

·         Any item that may be inserted into pet’s ass will be at the sole discretion of The Lady.  Items may be inserted for a variety of reasons, such as training pet’s ass;  as a punishment;  as a reward;  as a visual stimulation for The Lady;  as a constant reminder of pet’s dedication to The Lady throughout the day;  just because The Lady wants to.

·         Pet is required to communicate with The Lady about any physical issues that may prevent pet from performing his duties in the service of The Lady. 

 Punishment

·         The pet is under the authority of The Lady. 

·         There will be times when the pet breaks guidelines, misses expectations, fails to follow instructions, or generally displeases The Lady. Without consequences, the pet will be pretty much be encouraged to continue to displease The Lady.

·         Finding a punishment that has the desired effect of correcting behavior is an exercise for The Lady to determine, at her sole discretion.  Such punishments shall be determined to be corrective punishment, or punishment that’s that are in direct correlation to displeasure of the pet by The Lady.

·         The Lady may determine that regularly scheduled, maintenance punishments will be useful. The type, duration and severity of said maintenance shall be at the sole discretion of The Lady

·         Punishment may include, but are not limited to the following:  
-  Spanking, with or without the use of an implement such as a paddle, hair brush, wooden spoon, ruler, riding crop.  Spankings may be administered by The Lady in any position she deems suitable, at her sole discretion
-  Repeated intense Tease and Denial
-  Longer duration of chastity
-  Sleeping on floor
-  humiliation




Saturday, November 28, 2015

14 hours of Bliss

We had the house to ourselves, without outside obligations and without the chance that kids would be barging into the house with their friends.  The title refers to Bliss .....

Why you ask?   Because for 14 hours, we were able to exist in what I believe should be our natural state.  Me freshly, naked and attentive to my Mistress. 

I played golf yesterday.  When I got home Mistress wanted to get Chinese take out.  She instructed me to be showered and naked upon her return.  Bliss.

We scarfed our Asian delights and laid around the house and just existed together.  I noticed the other day that Mistress really enjoyed having me sit on the floor, near her feet when she is relaxing on the couch.  Last night, she had me resume that position again, only this time, I was in my natural state of dress.  Naked    Bliss.

Later she had me join her on the couch so that I cold rub her feet while we watched a movie.   Bliss

Soon after that, we both fell asleep on the couch, limbs entangled with each other.  My limbs were uncovered.  Her limbs had warm pajamas covering them.   Bliss

There is a good chance for a repeat of our freedom again this evening.  Boy I hope so.

Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Just know when not to be stupid


We have a coffee maker that is one of those carafe-pot kind, that is basically thermos.  It keeps the coffee warm by retaining the heat, not by constantly adding heat.  Sometimes there is enough coffee left over to use the next morning.  When Mistress K. discovered I was using that coffee the next day, she flat told me that any coffee I served had better be freshly brewed, that morning because it tastes better. 

We've warmly debated the premise leading to her decision (never her decision) to require that I only serve her freshly brewed coffee, and last night was one of those times.  It was fun and just a few comments, but I had told her that I was going to have two cups prepared for her this morning, one from the day before, and one freshly brewed, to see if she could tell the difference.


Good Morning Mistress!!!

In the quiet darkness of the early morning, it occurred to me ... who am I to challenge the desire, the preference of my Mistress?  I mean really ... what good cold possibly come from me being able to prove that she couldn't tell the difference between fresh coffee and day-old coffee?  My Mistress should not have to explain herself or even engage in a debate about something as trivial as how she prefers her coffee.  Mine is not to question her motives or desires.  Ever! 

When I heard the alarm go off this morning, summoning Mistress from her slumber, I entered the room with a freshly brewed cup of coffee, prepared exactly how she likes it.  I leaned in to kiss her like I always and then I apologized for not just yielding to her desire for fresh coffee without raising some bullshit theory. 

To her, it was no big deal. No big deal at all ... and frankly to me it wasn't either.  It was just one of those little, harmless battles that married vanilla people engage in from time to time.  Only ..... we aren't vanilla married people and it is not my place to question her preference.  Even for something as simple as coffee.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Monday, November 23, 2015

Lock the door


Sunday night.  We had a wonderful family weekend, a delightful family Sunday night hanging with the kids, but by 9pm or so, everyone was tired and was heading for bed to rest up for what will be a busy week.

I decided to stay up to watch the end of Sunday Night NFL game, which ended about 9:30.  The local team won by the way.  After shutting down the house, I headed for the closed bedroom door.  I entered to find Mistress K. laying bed, all cozy and warm, watching TV but fighting to stay awake.  I removed my clothes, stood at the side of the bed and asked permission to enter her bed.  (I had promised Mistress I would always do that, even though she said it wasn't necessary.  Even still, Mistress has said that she appreciates me asking. I have been lax on doing that lately ... I need to better at that).  Instead of saying yes, she said "lock the door".  Those three little words always put a smile on my face.  I locked the door and returned to Mistress's bed. She removed the covers to reveal her beautiful naked body.  She instructed me to cover her body with soft kisses and to continue until I was to stop.  Sometimes that can be 10 minutes, sometimes an hour. 

Covering her body with soft kisses is one of my favorite things in the world to do.  Why wouldn't it be?  She was sleepy and wanted to be worshipped and pampered on her way to slumber.  I began my task with a deep, contented breath.  My cock was swelling at a rapid pace (you know, because this is one of my favorite things to do).   There is just something so wonderful about having my naked Mistress laying before me when all she wants is my mouth on her body.  I had been worshipping her for about 15 minutes. At one point I was just so overcome with lust that placed my rock hard cock against her ass and began a slow grind.  "No!", she said, "continue with the kisses".  I stopped trying to get some pleasure and proceeded to concentrate on the pleasure she was receiving. I am not always certain that Mistress will allow my lips, mouth or tongue to touch or get near her sex parts.  I never know until I try.  So I tried.  I ran my tongue up the crack of her gorgeous ass to see how she would respond.  She responded with a soft whimper and a slight pushback against my face.  So, I went a little deeper.  More of the same.  So I went a little deeper until my tongue rested on her tiny rear hole.  It was apparent that she wanted me to continue, so continue I did. 

I need to tell you that being allowed to worship Mistress K's ass in this way is something that, in and of itself, can cause me to want to orgasm.  This was no exception.  I plunge into a deep state of desire for her when I am allowed to place my mouth there and soon I was shuddering with excitement.  I took a small break and worked my way up her back with soft kisses when she said :get back down there!"  OMG ... I thanked her for allowing me to worship her this way and returned to her bottom hole for more worshipping, all the while being keenly aware that I needed to make sure that I didn't ejaculate from all the excitement.  After 15 minutes or so of this bliss, Mistress rolled onto her back, spread her legs and expected me to know what to do next.  She didn't have to wait long for me to continue my worshipping of her at her alter.

I was lost in desire while pleasuring her with my mouth and I could feel her orgasm building.  Every so often, Mistress would have to adjust my head because my eagerness sometimes causes me to push to my mouth too hard against her.  My beloved Mistress K. had the most wonderful orgasm and pushed my head away when she could take no more.  I rose to me knees, rock hard cock in front of me, eager for attention.  I just took in the beautiful sight of my glorious Wife laying before me in her post orgasm glow.  It was wonderful.  After a few minutes, when she regained her composure, she said "go unlock the door and come back here and snuggle me to sleep". 

When I returned to the bed, I moved in behind her and pulled her sexually satisfied body in close.  I thanked her for allowing me to worship her with my mouth, and for allowing me to witness her orgasm.  She just said, in a very sleepy voice, "you're welcome pet". 

I clumsily asked if I could be allowed a ruined orgasm and her response was "not tonight pet.  We're going to go to sleep now".  "Yes Mistress", was my reply and we both nodded off to sleep with her orgasm still fresh on my face and my rock hard, eager yet denied penis firmly pressed against the most beautiful ass in the world. 

This is a perfect example of how my sex life now is better than it has ever been in my entire life, and there was no chance I was going to be able to have an orgasm, ruined or otherwise.  I am just so in love and in awe of this Goddess, and am always just so grateful that she continues to have me in her life.

Monday, November 16, 2015

Time to get back to the life we live

First, may I say thank to each and every one of you that expressed your condolences for our recent loss.  Thank you so much!

The past several weeks have been surreal.  We all know that real life can get in the way of practicing some of the things we all choose to have in our lives.  It happens and we deal with it when it does.  Now there appears to be some time to refocus on some of the things that we each need in our life together.

Here's to things getting back to normal. 

P.S.   Before I could even hit "publish", Mistress walked back in the door to retrieve something one of the children forgot to take to school with them.  As is required in my house, I stripped naked without being told to proceeded to empty the dishwasher.  Before she left again, she walked over to me, kissed and told me to go bend over the kitchen table where she proceeded to warm my naked bottom with her hand.  She asked, "do you know why I am spanking you right now?"  Not having any punishment pending, I said confidently, "no."   "Because I can", she said.  She spanked me hard but not too hard, finished when she had enough and left for her office.    With the content of this post in mind, it's as if fate caused one of our children to forget their backpack. 

 
 

Thursday, November 12, 2015

Forgive me

Hi everyone.  Please forgive me for my inattentiveness over the past several days.  Everyone in Mistress K's household is well and good, but we did have someone we know and care about die on us earlier this week, which means we have some work to do over the next several days.  Please don't take offense if there has been a slow reply to your comments or emails. 

I'll be "off-the-air" for the most part, until Monday.  Have a great weekend everyone!

Monday, November 9, 2015

Milking Day

it's the second Monday of the month.  That means it's milking day in my house.  I have been instructed to wear my butt plug during the day.  I don't know if that is a precursor to my milking, or if Mistress K. is just teasing me into thinking it might.

Our lives in our house have been VERY busy recently and as such, Mistress K. and I have had very little time/ability to be together let alone be Mistress and submissive together.

Looking forward to some quality time with Mistress tonight!

Sunday, November 1, 2015

The Worst Kind of Spanking there is?

This morning, in my FetLife inbox, someone asked ... "For you, what is the worst kind of punishment?" 

This question was asked in the context of several back and forth questions from a young couple just starting out in their very own FLM. It's kind of fun and a bit of an honor to be considered as someone that could offer advice.  I replied with words describing the worst kind of spanking.  Then I came across pictures that describe it just as well.

First, this is what happens:


All the way to full-on, intense, deep orgasm.  Then, this is what happens:


All the way deep, searing pain in my bottom followed by genuine regret and remorse.

Believe me when I tell you ... When Mistress K. feels the needs to punish me this way, I have really fucked up! 

Saturday, October 31, 2015

She felt perfect

Last night for dinner, Mistress and I were at a very, very fancy restaurant, with 6 other people, enjoying a beautiful meal in celebration of someone's birthday.  Completely and utterly vanilla ......

There was a tiny moment of electricity.  When we all got up to leave, Mistress was standing next to me and moved toward her and put my arm around her small waist.  her body felt so good, so sexy so beautiful.  Standing there saying our goodbyes, my arm pulled her closer and my hand wandered all over her back, her waist and her beautiful ass.  I wasn't looking in her direction but I could COMPLETELY see her through my holding and touching her.  Being able to smell her while holding her this vanilla way got me, well hard as a rock and my cock kept growing inside my pants to the point where I had to let go of Mistress's waist and use my jacket to cover my erection. 

There is just something about the way she smells.  Yummy!

Thursday, October 29, 2015

What is a benefit of a Female led Marriage?

I've been asked that question before.  I've seen that question asked, and it's been debated from all angles, by many different people with a variety of agendas in mind.

I ran across one of my very favorite quotes.and until I saw it again today, I only ever thought it was very clever and funny.  Now, I think it is meaningful as well.  here it is;

“The problem is, God gave man a brain and a penis and only enough blood to run one at a time.”
 
-   Robin Williams
 
Often people will try to define for everyone within listening (reading) distance, exactly how things should go.  if it is something like a FLM, people will debate whether it truly is or not because the people involved do, or don't do, this or that.  Whatever this or that may be. 
 
Back to Robin William's joke.  Yes it's clever and funny ... but it's also true.  For so many men, this very conundrum is absolutely true.  I, on the other, am immune from this problem.  In fact, my FLM is the very reason that I am not subject to this phenomenon for one very simple, convenient reason .... I don't control my penis.  The second Mistress K. accepted my submission, I gladly offered and she happily accepted the responsibility and control of my penis.  As a covenant to our relationship (and as of a year ago our renewed marriage vows), my penis is completely and utterly controlled by Mistress K.  Access to it, it's use for ANYTHING other than it's cleaning or for urination, is absolutely prohibited without permission and supervision.  As such, the blood in my body can be (and is) solely dedicated to running my brain, and not my penis.  When mistress decides that my penis is to be used, the need for the appropriate amount of blood to run my brain disappears because she is controlling things then, and therefore can be totally dedicated to running my penis which makes her happy.
 
I am an Alpha male of every aspect o my life except the obvious exception.  Not owning my sex, my penis, my orgasms, greatly minimizes the chances that I will fuck up in my life because that should rightfully be dedicated for use in my brain, isn't being diverted to my penis. 
 
When you think about it ... God was so smart ... wasn't she?
 
 
 
 


Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Are you truly submissive?

Those words kept rolling on a loop in my head in the very beginning.  When I first decided to approach Mistress K. with the idea of living in a Female Led Marriage.  It was imperative for me that we live an ACTUAL FLM and not just one were one party or the other yielded to the other's kink.  Temporary yielding to the other's kinks is and can be fun of course, but it's not the same thing as really, truly, living it 24/7.

On more than one occasion I have drawn to a blog post on Mistress Ivey's blog.  It is an excellent blog and I recommend it to anyone, submissive or dominant.  Her most recent blog post is title "Are you Truly Submissive?", and speaks directly to this.  You can see the post here:


There are plenty of people that seek the temporary kink aspects of FLR//FLM/Female Dominance.  I get that and have no trouble with them for that.  I even support those that are just simply not "real" in their quest for an FLM but lie to themselves and their partner about it in order to continue to receive the kink.  I get that with them too and I fully support anyone's idea of kink, whether they understand it completely or not.

This blog post from Mistress Ivey spoke to me on two levels.  One, it uses the words I sometimes stumble to find when trying to explain why we are in this relationship at all, and two;  My biggest fear, biggest nightmare scenario would be for one of us to wake up one day and wonder, "are you truly submissive" ... or worse "are you truly dominant".

Monday, October 19, 2015

2 Stunning women

For different reasons, I find these two women stunning:

I've always thought Kristen Stewart was just gorgeous in a pouty, bratty sort of way.



This is Frauke Petry.  She is a German politician.  She looks like a strong woman, don't you think?

Friday, October 16, 2015

Classic Wonderfulness


There is just something so wonderful, so awesome, so basic and so beautiful about this picture.  Maybe because I was just luck enough to be able to spend 3 evenings in a row in our "natural state", just like as depicted here.  Maybe it is because the girl in the picture reminds me so much of my Wife's grace and beauty. 

Thursday, October 15, 2015

Uh oh!

Mistress sent me a text that I received during a very important meeting today.  It was a simple picture of my t shirt and my cock ring (the one I am required to wear every Wednesday) laying on the floor next to the bed, and next to that was an emoji of a red, angry face!

OK, so here's what happened.  This is not an excuse, but it was happened.  Last night I returned home from a very important business dinner that went very well.  I brought take-out from the restaurant I was at. which happened to be her favorite restraint.  She was thrilled with me.  No kids were home and as such, immediately after giving her the food, I retreated to our closet to become naked, as i am required to do when we are alone.  Since it was Wednesday, I was also wearing my cock, which as i mentioned earlier, is something i am required to wear every Wednesday under my clothes.  I went to the kitchen, straightened up, got the coffee pot ready for the next morning.  Mistress was firmly ensconced  on the couch watching her favorite Netflix show so I knew I would have no shot at watching the TV for Sports Center, to catch up on all the baseball action of the day. 

I asked permission to go to our bedroom to watch ESPN.  Instead of granting permission right away, Mistress had me kneel naked and ringed next to the wall where the TV was.  She just wanted to view me in that position for a short time before letting run off to watch my sports.  After a short time, she granted permission for me to go to our bedroom to watch TV.  On the way, I stopped by her on the couch, leaned downed and thanked her and also told how much I loved being able to be in what would be our natural state (me naked, she not) these past 2 nights because the kids were out.  It was lovely.

I had no intention of going to sleep for the night when I got to the bedroom, but lay in our comfy bed and settled in for some good ESPNing.  Of course, in a matter of minutes I was asleep.  I woke up around 11pm because the cock ring was paining me a bit.  In my half sleep I removed it and just dropped it on the floor next to the bed.  "No problem", I said to myself in my head, because the kids are gone for the night. 

This morning I woke up at 4am for some reason.  Of course it was dark out and when i got out of bed, it didn't the black cock ring on the floor in a room full of darkness.  That's what happened!

Did I mean to be careless ?  No, of course not.  Was it careless?  If course it was and I feel just terrible about it.  I try so hard to stay out of trouble by not disappointing Mistress.  I failed. 

More to come I'm sure .................

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Milking Day - October 2015

This past Monday (2nd Monday of the month) was my monthly milking day.  Unlike last month, I didn't have a lingering punishment hanging over my head.  Also unlike last month, we again found ourselves with a few hours of alone time ... and it was milking day.

No details this time.  Sorry.  I will tell you that I was involved in the most beautiful, sensual and loving sex I have ever had in my life. It was almost spiritual. 

AND

I was milked immediately after.  After Mistress and I made the most incredible love I can ever remember, she reminded me that I still needed to be milked.  I was not allowed to orgasm during our sex and after I told I could've literally had an orgasm just from witnessing her during our lovemaking, she told me to straddle her naked body on the bed.  She told me that my milking would happen only if i were able to produce an ejaculation with only the visual stimulation before me (naked her), and her gently massaging my balls.  It took less than a minute.  Not once was my penis touched.

Monthly objective complete.  Mistresses devoted pet-husband was ritualistically drained of his semen. 

What a magical night.

Monday, October 12, 2015

We were alone




In the desert, for many kids, it is "fall break" time this coming week.  Mistress K. and I suddenly and unexpectedly found ourselves alone on Sunday afternoon.  We knew we would be alone until 10pm or so.  It's such a rare thing for us to find ourselves alone, but when it happens, we both usually comment on about how, in only a few years, our life in our house will be with us primarily alone.

When both kids were gone, I walked into the house from waving good bye, prepared to remove my clothes (a standard rule when we are alone ... become naked without being told to do so) when Mistress informed me we were going out to eat.  I was wearing sport shorts with no panties underneath, and a t shirt.  Instead of removing them, I added a hat and out the door we went.

We went to a pretty cool, big open, noisy neighborhood family restaurant/bar that was hopping for a Sunday night.  I was canoodling up on Mistress K in the booth when she instructed me to go into the bathroom and "stroke your cock until it is hard, then return to the table".  Without hesitation I got up, went to the bathroom, only to find that the single stall was occupied, and there was one guy waiting.  I returned to the booth and informed Mistress that the stall was full and said "but if what you want is my cock to be hard, I don't need to stroke it to get it hard.'  She seemed surprised that I could do that (which frankly surprised me that she was surprised) and said, "OK, get it hard" It took about 45-60 seconds.  She promptly ran her hand up my leg, under my shorts and started rubbing and stroking my cock under the table.  She was excited about how hard it was.  She was kind of nervous that someone would see her doing that so it didn't last long.  Her hand would find it's way back under my shorts and to my cock a couple of other times for a few short strokes. 

It was time to leave but before we could go, Mistress had me return to the bathroom to accomplish what she had instructed me to do earlier.  Stroke my cock in the bathroom.  She seemed to just want for me to be stroking it in a public place ... because she told me to!  Nice.

Wen we returned home,  She was standing on the curb of the street, "watering the dogs".  I was kissing on her neck and I whispered that I would be inside, naked and waiting for her.  All she did was nod and send me on my way.

15 minutes later or so, I was naked, laying on the couch watch the baseball game.  When she emerged, she looked over at me and gave a contented smile and walked into the kitchen.  I got up, followed her, stood next to her, pressed my naked body against hers and began to nuzzle and kiss her neck and face.  She slowly stroked me and moaned in delight at my worshipping kisses.  It was wonderful.  I was there, naked before her as I should be, displaying my devotion and love for her with worshipping kisses, marinating in the moment, knowing this is how it can be for us in a couple of shorts years.  After a few minutes of her stroking, I informed her that I was nearing ejaculation.  She didn't stop, she sped up, trying to entice an unauthorized ejaculation I suppose.  Then she stopped.  I told her that I worshipped her, how much I loved and how thankful I was to be hers.  Literally hers!

A few minutes later, in the bathroom, I went to her again and repeated what I started in the kitchen. She pulled me into her and put her arm around my neck and with her free hand started slapping my ass with her hand.  All of a sudden she grabbed me by the wrist, led me to the wall in the bathroom, placed my hands on the wall above my head and started spanking my ass with her hand.  Pretty good spanks too.  She gave me 15-20 rapid spanks then stopped.  She started pumping my cock.  I started to turn and face her and she pushed me back in position and started spanking me again for 15-20.  Then she started stroking me again and when I would near the point of ejaculation, she would stop and with force and speed would spank me another 15-20 times.  She continued with this pattern for another 3 edgings, then abruptly stopped and told me to resume watching my game on TV. 

I'll admit, I was hopeful that with our unexpected time alone that maybe, just maybe Mistress would have me give/help her achieve an orgasm.  She had no such inclination, probably because one of the children would be home in an hour or so.  I didn't matter, being able to briefly be in what is our "natural state" when we are alone (she clothed and me not) was something I was grateful for.  Those few moments of being able to inhale the scent of my Mistress while nuzzled in and kissing her neck where incredible.

Sunday, October 11, 2015

Looking Back so I can look forward



Occasionally it's fun and exciting to go back over some of the material that I waded through in the beginning during my "research" in the beginning.  Re-reading some of the things that helped Mistress K. and I. get to where we are.  Deeper in love than either of us thought possible.

Below is a link for one such site.  It's called "Caring Domination" and for me, it was a instrumental to my decision to ask Mistress K. to accept my submission. 

http://cair4.com/

There's a quick tour as well, which I also remember being helpful:

http://cair4.com/toursub1.htm

But, it was the following words that spoke to me in the most meaningful way and was the basis for which I asked my wife to accept my submission and her role and the dominant in our life together.

"The ultimate control over a man is not hypnosis, blackmail, tying him up, or any of the male submissive fantasies. The ultimate control is love."

Thursday, October 8, 2015

1 year is coming up

In roughly two weeks, it will be the one year anniversary of my collaring ceremony.  You may recall that on the occasion of our 15th wedding anniversary, Mistress K and I renewed our marriage vows.  Those vows one year ago, were directly relative to our life in our loving Female Led Marriage.  You can read all about the details by looking into my posts in October, 2014.  In short though, it was a deeply emotional ceremony, before an officiant who read from the "good book", witnessed and then recognized our (re)Union.

During the private ceremony, I was wearing only light, silk shorts (for the benefit of the officiant) and my chastity cage.  I recited my vows from my knees before Mistress K and the officiant, and accepted my collar from my knees as well.  It was a glorious afternoon and evening to be sure.

As i reflect on the coming anniversary, I am so very happy for the growing love and devotion I have for my beautiful life partner.  I am just so grateful to this woman who has accepted my submission, my devotion and the ownership of my body and soul.  I so look forward to the journey that is the rest of our life together.

Monday, October 5, 2015

Nervous and eager (update)

In my most recent post, I talked about what it was like to be on the verge of receiving a spanking that I suspected (knew) would be a harsh one.  When I wrote it, I was waiting, naked for Mistress to return from taking the kids to school.  On this particular day, instead of going right to her office after dropping the kids off, Mistress was going to return home to get ready for work.  I suspected then that since I was about to leave town for a long fun weekend of golf and guy stuff, Mistress would indeed give me the punishment spanking that was pending and due.

When Mistress walked in the door I was naked (as I knew I should be) and working at the computer.  She walked by trailing her nails across my back and mentioned that she would be spanking me shortly.  Gulp!  She disappeared into the closet in our bedroom.  I could hear her open and close some drawers before summoning me to the closet.  I fully expected to be ordered onto the long counter in our closet so Mistress could execute on the spanking.

When I arrived in the closet, Mistress was standing in the doorway pouring lube into her right hand.  Without any expression on her face, she ordered me to stand in the doorway and to place my hands on the top of it and do not let them fall.  She immediately started rubbing my cock for a few strokes then turned her attention to my balls.  She cupped them, rolled them in her hands and continued to massage my aching balls.  I was lost in lust.  Then it occurred to me that Mistress was milking me.  She would occasionally rub the head of my cock with her slippery hand to speed up the process, but concentrated on the massaging of my balls. 

Mistress was looking me directly in the eyes, without any expression on her face.  She was methodical and determined to coax the semen from deep within my balls.  At that moment, and because of the expression on her face, that Mistress intended to give me my spanking punishment immediately following my milking.  I begged Mistress not to spank me after extracting the cum from my balls, knowing that receiving a spanking after ejaculation is so much worse.  I begged her with everything I had to give me my spanking first and then milk me after.

Mistress would have none of it.  She continued to massage my balls knowing that it would be stimulation enough to produce my ejaculate.  She remained expressionless and continued in a clinical fashion rubbing my aching balls.  After several minutes of begging and pleading, I resigned myself to the fact that my spanking would come AFTER my milking and not the other way around.  Standing naked with my arms at the top f the doorway, Mistress silently held her palm in front of my cock.  It was her silent instruction that it was time for me to produce my mess into her.  As if on cue and from only the stimulation of Mistress squeezing and massaging my balls in her hand, my ejaculate oozed from the head of my cock and into her hand.  She continued to squeeze my balls and coax out as much as she could.  When the cum stopped oozing in her hand, she abruptly let go of my now-slippery ball sack, she paused and looked into my eyes for what seemed like a long time.  For a moment there, I thought she was going to feed me my cum because seemed to be in the mood of making me do something that neither of us want to do.  Instead, she walked past me and into the bathroom to wash her hands.

She returned from the bathroom quickly, grabbed my outstretched arm and led me to the bed.  Pointing to it she instructed me to stand next to it and bend over the side.  I begged her some more not to give me my punishment right then but I'm afraid that only caused her to be more determined.  I bent over the bed, offering my bare, sweat covered ass to her for my spanking.  She had me stand for an adjustment and that's when she noticed that I had dribbled some of my cum on the freshly washed sheets.  Trust me, that didn't help my situation.

For what seemed like an eternity, Mistress spanked me the gruesome wooden spoon with the rounded back.  It was awful.  I came as close as I ever have to crying from the pain I was receiving at that moment.  The combination of the wicked rounded spoon and the temporary loss of erotic desire as a result of my milking seconds earlier, conspired to give me the worst spanking to date.  Didn't spank hard.  She didn't have to with that spoon.  The pain was deep, real and all I wanted her to do was finish.  My pleas only seemed to make her want to continue.

Mercifully it was over.  My face buried in the bed, panting, sweating and feeling the burn on my ass, I was trying to catch my breath.  I didn't dare move, assuming it was over because I hadn't been given the instructions to move.   She pulled me upright by my shoulder, turned me around and had me kneel before her for aftercare.

I was milked and spanked hard.  I was ashamed, feeling the pain, glad it was over and so very much in love with my Mistress Wife at that moment.  After a few minutes, I was instructed to stand, clean up, but the implements away and to get ready for my trip.

I will be working on letting my frustrations come out in the presence of Mistress.  I don't want to have to endure that again.

Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Nervous and eager

It's Wednesday morning.  I'll be leaving the house to day for a long golf weekend with my buddies but before I leave, I have been told by Mistress that I will be receiving a spanking.  The kids are at school, we are all alone and the stage is set for what may very well be a harsh punishment spanking ... because this spanking is for one of the things that Mistress hates the most  ....  when I get frustrated by vanilla circumstances in life, and then allow her to be subject to my stress, angst or whatever. 

Naked, nervous and anticipating my fate, I will often reflect on what is about to happen, why it is happening and ultimately, how lucky I am to be married to the Mistress Wife of my dreams.  The fact that she is my Dominant, my Domme, my Mistress and my wife is something that I take so much pride and appreciation in.

I'm also left to wonder if Mistress plans to perform the monthly milking that did not get done on the second Monday of the month, like it should've.

Friday, September 25, 2015

Mistress is leaving town today

Mistress is leaving town today to spend the weekend in the mountains with her girlfriends.  A weekend of no kids, no stress, no worries.  Just wine, giggles and girl-fun.  I am going to miss her terribly but the kids and I will find ways to occupy our time while she's gone. 

The only thing is ............ I am still due for a punishment spanking for not having Mistress' coffee ready for her, about 10 days ago, and I am still on stand by for my milking that was supposed to take place on the second Monday of every month .... this month included.  Perhaps she will find time in her rush to get out of town to take care of some unfinished business.  perhaps not.

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Edge time

Just now, as Mistress was blow-drying her hair, she summoned me into the bathroom.  "Edge yourself", she said.  I retrieved the lube and placed the bath mat on the floor behind her and just to the side.  I removed my shorts, put some lube in my hand laid down on my back behind her.  She said "did I say you could do that?"  I got to my feet, walked over to her and asked if I could do my edging on the floor behind her.  She grinned and said "yes".

I resumed my position on the floor, laid back, closed my eyes, spread my legs and began to stroke myself, slowly to the edge.  After a short time of tenderly bringing myself to the edge, I knew I had to stop.  I opened my eyes and Mistress was staring at me.  I stood, washed my hands, kissed her neck and thanked her.  She thoroughly enjoyed it and so did I. 

Off to shower and to insert my plug (it's Tuesday).

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

3rd time this year

It happened innocently enough and was not planned.  Mistress was lying in bed, in my arms when she realized she forgot to set her alarm.  When she reached over to the nightstand, the dim glow of the TV illuminated her naked body from behind.  Her naked back and bottom where just too much for me to resist and I lean over and started planting soft little, worshipping kisses on her ass.  One of my favorite things to do.  I was admiring it and was involuntarily running my fingers softly over the perfect flesh.  She let out a soft moan and instructed me to continue.  She didn't have to tell me twice.

I continued to worship her body.  I was so much in lust for her at that very moment, I asked if I could enter her and she surprised me and said enthusiastically said yes.  She rolled over onto her back so I could enter her missionary style.  This is my all time favorite position because I get to be face to face with.  I love to look into her eyes as I enter her.

I won't bore you with the details but moved in and out of her with an enormous amount of love and passion and when I was near the edge, I informed her that I was close to cumming.  She held me, looked me in the eye and said "well cum then".  My eyes widened with excitement and I actually said "Really?"  When she said yes again, I continued making love to my beautiful wife with deliberate, reckless abandon.  Out of instinct, when I was about to come, I said "Mistress, may I cum?".  She said "cum for me baby."

I began to orgasm inside of her with what seemed to me to be the longest orgasm I ever had.  I was just so beautiful.  I was relishing the moment.  Savoring every second of it.  I was allowed, no encouraged to have an orgasm while inside of her, which as you may know, is a rare thing indeed.  I was so deep in love, so deep in subspace, so much in awe of her that I actually had trouble walking afterward.

It was the 3rd real, full orgasm she has allowed me this year and the first time this year I was allowed to cum while on top of her, looking into her beautiful eyes.  It was magical.  Thank you so much Mistress.

As an aside, this past Monday was "milking day" in our house but because of circumstances beyond our control, it wasn't to be.  She reminded me this morning, as I left for a conference out of town, that we still have a milking appointment that needs to happen.

Have a great rest of the week everyone.

Sunday, September 13, 2015

Dreams

I try not to burden people with a recount of my dreams because, well, frankly who cares?  But ....

It's not uncommon for me to have dreams that are directly related to my submissive dedication to my Wife.  Especially when I am allowed/instructed to sleep wearing my butt plug.  My thoughts/fantasies/dreams, when I have them, always include and are centered around Mistress K. and my dedication to her in my marriage.  Before marinating in the beautiful lifestyle I am in currently, I'd have sex thoughts and dreams that have included others exclusively but not any longer.  Now, like I said, every fantasy/thought/dream about sex is centered around Mistress K. in some fashion or another, even if those thoughts/fantasies and dreams include others as well.  It's not something I consciously control (who can control their dreams) but rather that has occurred in me naturally, which I attribute directly to marriage.

Of course many of those dreams are highly sexual in nature, but not always.  I had a dream last night that was not a sex dream, although I felt a great amount of passion from it.  It was a punishment endurance dream.  It wasn't long and not very clear, but it was rather profound.  Here goes .....

I was naked and bound in a standing position in a room, facing a wall, nose touching, supposedly somewhere in our home.  I could hear noises and everyday "normal" conversation that I would normally hear in my home yet I instinctively could tell I was isolated and nobody knew I was in there.  Or they knew but didn't seem to care. It was clear that I was enduring the most grueling and meaningful punishment/disciplinary event I had ever experienced with my Mistress.  There were no lights in the room but there were a couple of small windows that allowed daylight into the room.  I don't know how I got there.  My wrists and ankles were cuffed and attached to the wall, and so was my waist.  I was alone.  The room was chilly yet I was warm. Then I heard a door opening that sounded like a jail cell door.  The room was bathed in more light for a moment and then suddenly the door closed and Mistress walked up behind me.  She was in a good mood, clearly happy with how her "normal" day was going outside the room and engaged in pleasant small talk with me as she moved about behind me.  As if we were having dinner together. 

She grabbed my hair and gently but firmly pulled my head back to whisper in my ear ... "you're doing great pet.  You only have 10 hours left.  You're doing great."  She then gagged me and then proceeded to give me the most severe and intense spanking I had ever received.  Nothing at all like anything I had ever experienced before.  I was literally brought to tears, begging for her to stop ... but she continued.  She wasn't angry.  She upbeat, even playful. It didn't appear as though I was being punished for anything specific, yet still, the severity continued.  Then she stopped. 
She ran a wet cloth over my ass, legs and back, which at first was soothing, then began to sting intensely as if it were rubbing alcohol or something.  She whispered in my ear, in a voice that dripped with love, comfort and appreciation ... "I love you so much for doing this for me.  For us."

My ass, legs and back burned.  She held me tightly from behind, kissed my back gently and then gave me one last intensely painful swing of what was clearly a paddle ... and left the room. 

This was not a sex dream.  It's not uncommon that I have an erection when being punished, even when it is very intense.  There was no erection in this dream.  I was left bound, incredibly sore from standing, my skin stinging from what just happened, and yet I found comfort, even smiled a little with the knowledge that I only had 10 hours left to endure what was clearly a test that Mistress felt I needed to be put through.  I was scared shitless   ....   I also felt comfort in my safety.

Friday, September 11, 2015

Not dead ......

Hello everyone.  It's been more than a couple of weeks since we last were together here and I have missed the joy that comes from giving you a look inside the joy of my marriage to my Mistress. 

I've never felt comfortable apologizing for whatever time I may have been away.  I think it presumes that anyone really gives a shit, and I so never want to be perceived as wrongly assuming what I say or do here is that vital.  That being said  ......  I'm sorry for being away for 2 1/2 weeks  ---

Everything is wonderful in the Mistresses house ... especially since our last conversation (previous post) and the elevated manner of her leadership.  I was properly punished for the behavior that led up to the conversation in that post.  She has masterfully still not allowed me to cum or ejaculate n any fashion.  Even after the many weeks worth of intense, almost constant edging and teasing I was put through.  Yes, I do want release more and more everyday, but with her guidance, that desire for release is not at all a source of frustration but rather a source of growing strength in our relationship.  Yes, I still want to be objectified sexually by and for her amusement.  Yes, I still wish that she would take my ass with her strapon like the submissive little bitch that I am for her at times, but now, that continued and growing desire enhances and deepens my love, respect and desire for her. 

During my time away, I have been able to keep up with some of my dear friends and their triumphs, new experiences and tribulations.  I am in awe of some of the things you have done, and for others, my heart aches for you as you struggle with the issues you have right now.  I love you all.

Even now, I am in a rush so I will say goodbye for now. I can't wait to be able to re-engage in a more normal routine and frequency of communicating with you all.  See you again soon!

SHIP