Followers

Thursday, June 14, 2018

Fear and sometimes loathing ...........

Fear comes in different forms, of course.  Recently and currently I've been subject to two different kinds of fear, and as is usually the case, one form of fear is directly to and comes from the other. 


In this context, the fear I experience was because I had previously printed out the vows that I wrote for Mistress K. when we had used the occasion of our 15th wedding anniversary to have our, well collaring ceremony", for the lack of a better description.   (I'll be happy to share those vows .. just ask email a note and provide an email address)  I had every intention of handing to Mistress K., the printed version of the vows that wrote for her for that beautiful day.  As is sometimes the case, I got distracted and left sitting on the desk, next to the computer monitor.  You know, so I wouldn't forget to give it to her. 


Well ..... I forgot to give it to here ... and there it sat.  For all the world to see.  Not just all-the-world-to-see, but specifically our children and theirs friends to see.  You see, the day following my printing of the vows, Mistress and I left town for the weekend, while the teenage children stayed at home.  Mistress discovered the printed version of the vows, laying there in all its glory, out in the open, for all to see.  Again, by all I specifically mean our children and their (lots of) their friends that paraded through the house while were gone.  FEAR .... Oh my fucking God!  Did our kids actually read our Collaring Ceremony Vows?  Holy shit.  Did they actually see that dad wrote words, promising mom that she could punish dad however she deemed appropriate.   FEAR .... 


We don't actually know if our kids (or their friends) saw the vows.  We don't think the did because frankly, and lets be honest, kids would not be able to act like they didn't see something like that, and fool their parents.  Yet the FEAR remains that they may have read them.   FEAR .... Oh my god -  FEAR.


The other kind of FEAR that I am currently wallowing in is the anticipation of what has promised to be a severe, painful spanking!  FEAR!!!  Mistress K. was not at all happy that my careless actions led to the potential of our private, intimate life was essentially on display for all to see.  NOT AT ALL HAPPY! 


I've written about how much I cherish the fact that I am married to the Mistress of my dreams.  That my Mistress Wife loves me enough to spank me.  To demand and expect for me to bare my bottom at her command, at her whim, whenever she believe it is warranted ... or even if it isn't warranted.  The depth of trust I have for this woman allows me to want to please her to no end, and to accept whatever correction measure she deems appropriate to make me a better slave husband.  That said, there are times when I know, I can tell that the punishment I will receive will be a very, very hurty-type of spanking.  This is one of those times I am afraid, especially since we recently had a discussion about the benefit of "spanking to tears", which is something we have never done.  I'm nervous to say the least, but I am also ready to receive what is coming to me.  Even though that fucking leather paddle hurts like fuck, there is such a deep emotional re-connection I have with my beloved Mistress that begins one second after the final swat stings my red ass. 


At the end of the day, I just hope she isn't angry enough to require me to wear my chastity cage!