Monday, June 26, 2017

Our Rules ... posted here!

In my last blog post, I mentioned I would ask Mistress K. if I could publish our rules here after we updated them and edited them.  Guess what .... she said YES, and here they are:

·         M-K is the Dominant.  The s-man is the submissive.
·         These rules may be amended or modified at any time at the sole discretion of M-K.
·         S-man will be kept in constant chastity to M-K.  Such chastity is expected at all times whether it is voluntarily self-enforced, or M-K has required the s-man to wear a chastity device (lockable cage) that will prevent s-man from touching or otherwise stimulating his penis, obtaining an erection or receiving stimulation directly against penis.
·         The s-man acknowledges that his pleasure is derived from providing service and pleasure to M-K.
·         The s-man shall make every attempt to keep his body in pristine condition so as to further enhance the enjoyment of its use by M-K.  S-man shall submit to physical inspection of any part of s-man’s body, at any time, for any reason, at the request of M-K.   Any failure of s-man to keep body healthy, at the sole discretion of M-K, shall result in punishment of s-man by M-K. 
·         As a default and at all times, when M-K and s-man are securely alone (as determined by M-K), s-man shall be expected to be naked and to be kept naked even while performing normal duties and functions.  S-man shall be expected to become naked and remain so without being asked.  M-K may require s-man to wear something, anything, exclusively of M-K’s choosing, as determined solely by M-K. 
·         In normal life, during the normal course of a regular day, s-man will wear normal clothes.  M-K may require that the s-man wear something in particular under s-man’s “normal” clothes at her sole discretion as she deems appropriate.
·         All s-mans’ orgasms are owned by M-K.  If s-man is to have an orgasm, it will only be because M-K has decided to allow it.  Any such permissible orgasm for the s-man shall be achieved solely in a manner dictated by M-K.
·         S-man is required to see to it that the garage and the cars are kept cleaned and in presentable condition at all times. 
·         S-man will maintain a calm and in-control demeanor,  and work hard to not project that stress to others around him. 
·         M-K will manage and control the release of all semen as M-K deems appropriate, at her sole discretion.  Such release may or may not include orgasm, at the sole discretion of M-K.
·         S-man will be required to orgasm on demand, or conversely, may be denied an orgasm as M-K deems necessary, at her sole and absolute discretion.
·         The duration and sensitivity/roughness of s-man’s sexual performance at the pleasure of M-K is at the sole discretion of M-K. 
·         S-man’s complete body belongs exclusively to M-K.  As such, M-K has unilateral use, control and direction of s-man’s body at all times.
·         Any part of s-man’s body is available for use by M-K at any time, day or night, for any reason including sexual, visual or physical pleasure of M-K, in any way M-K determines.  S-man may be required to perform sexual acts that give direct stimulation to M-K or s-man may be required to perform sexual acts on him for the visual pleasure of M-K.  Any such acts are at the sole discretion of M-K.
·         Any sexual demand/request made of s-man by M-K will be immediately carried out without question and with enthusiasm.
·         S-man is only allowed to have an orgasm, full or ruined when given permission and under the direct supervision of M-K.  When in the presence of M-K, and when on the verge of achieving orgasm,  even a previously approved orgasm,  s-man must still ask for permission to orgasm.  S-man will only be allowed to orgasm if such permission is granted by M-K
·         S-man may not fondle, massage, stroke, rub or otherwise touch or sexually stimulate his penis (except during natural human functions and cleaning) without permission or instruction from M-K.
·         S-man may not fondle, massage, rub, enter or otherwise sexually pleasure his anus (except during natural human functions and cleaning) without permission or instruction from M-K.
·         S-man will wear any accessory or device, externally or internally, M-K deems necessary at any given time, for however long is deemed appropriate by M-K, without hesitation and without argument.  Such device may be anything that might harness or control s-man’s penis or something that may be inserted and held in s-man’s ass. 
·         Any item that may be inserted into s-man’s ass will be at the sole discretion of M-K.  Items may be inserted for a variety of reasons, such as training s-man’s ass;  as a punishment;  as a reward;  as a visual stimulation for M-K;  as a constant reminder of s-man’s dedication to M-K throughout the day;  just because M-K wants to.
·         S-man is required to communicate with M-K about any physical issues that may prevent s-man from performing his duties in the service of M-K.   
·         The s-man is under the exclusive authority and is the property of M-K. 
·         Finding a punishment that has the desired effect of correcting behavior, is an exercise for M-K to determine, at her sole discretion.  Such punishments shall be determined to be corrective punishment or punishment that is in direct correlation to displeasure of the s-man by M-K, at M-K’s sole and absolute discretion.
·         M-K may determine that regularly scheduled, maintenance punishments will be useful. The type, duration and severity of said maintenance shall be at the sole discretion of M-K.

Punishment may include, but are not limited to the following:  
  • spanking, with or without the use of an implement such as a paddle, hair brush, wooden spoon, ruler, riding crop.  Spankings may be administered by M-K in any position she deems suitable, at her sole discretion
  • Repeated intense Tease and Denial
  • Longer duration of chastity
  • Sleeping on floor
  • Humiliation, the scope of which to be determined at the sole discretion of M-K

I would love to hear your honest thoughts, comments or questions, good or bad.  We tried hard to keep these rules as a general reference point from which to operate, and not attempt to specifically drill down into the weeds on absolutely each and every point.  That became too tedious.  Besides, at the end of the day, the REAL RULES in our lives are the ones that Mistress K. decides at any given moment.  To that end, in the absence of exceeding any hard, already agreed upon limits, I trust Mistress K. to pilot our vessel to continued and renewed happiness, and would do anything she asked/told of me.

Sunday, June 25, 2017

We made it

Part of the reason for the infrequent posts here over the past 2 years or so, is that we have been super, super busy as a family.  I posted some time ago about how Mistress K. was a watching 50 Shades of Grey for the first time (I still haven't seen it), and although she though the movie was ok, she did say that while watching it, she had an epiphany.  The epiphany was that she literally had the ability, even the right to dictate what kind of comfort, happiness and pleasure would exist in her life, at least to the extent that her able-bodies, devoted, loving, collared, slave husband was able to deliver.  She also realized that l she really had to do was find the comfort in making a decision based solely on her pleasure, comfort or for her benefit.  Not only that, she realized, compelling her slave husband to do the things necessary to achieve that goal, would be an enormous source of please for him (me) as well.

That was 2-3 months ago.  On the night of the epiphany, we spoke about how we would have a "working" date night, in which Mistress K. would basically explain how our life, and our lifestyle going forward.  We would also use the occasion to review and adjust our "rules" that we outlined for ourselves in the beginning of our FLM journey.  Well, that "working" dinner took place last night!

First I'll tell you that there were no "big" changes in expectations going forward, in our relationship.  Although I didn't really expect any, on a few occasions where she did mention our upcoming meeting, Mistress K. did seem to consistently use the words "how our lifestyle would be", which in and of itself didn't mean anything in particular, but .... could've meant anything. 

What the "working date night" turned out to be was one of the most wonderful nights our my/Our lives as a FLM couple.  We had a very deep and meaningful discussion about the things we have experienced thus far in our FLM lifestyle, and how much more beneficial it has been for Mistress K. to have had the experience that she had.  She feels like her feet are on more solid ground than ever when it comes to being able to take more of a lead in our marriage, and how that will continue to be a bigger and bigger source of comfort and joy in her life.  She's always know then concept of being unilaterally able to decide on things that will make her happy.  Only recently, when the epiphany occurred, did she better understand that many of things in her life that were causing stress or even unhappiness were fully within her control to decide.  All she had to do was decide, make it happen and then feel good about doing so.  She needed to be able to let go of the subconscious anticipatory concern of how I would feel about something.  That she should be able to expect that her submissive husband would find enough comfort in whatever she decided/wanted that I wouldn't be pouty.  Even more importantly, that if I did get pouty, petulant or moody, (because after all I am human and male) that all she had to do was to tell me to stop it and 1 of 2 things would happen .... 1) I'd snap out of it and fall right into line, or  2) there would be a significantly impactful punishment that would occur and THEN I would snap out of it and fall right into line.

You see, Mistress K. has always been the one to acquiesce, to pitch in to help, to fall in behind any situation in order to help, but always in a subordinate role.  However, ever since becoming a mother ... she has become increasingly aware of the positives that come from being the one to decide.  How being in control of a situation is usually the best way to be able to help someone that needs it. 

Anyway, our "working" date was very fruitful and very, very, very much appreciated by me.  Mistress K. was most certainly in charge of that meeting and was in no way interested is allowing the conversation to be a debate or a source of poutiness by either of us.  She was determined to lay out how our life together would be led in the future, after having given it much thought over the past few months.  About 30 minutes into the "discussion", I had to stop Mistress K. and tell her that even though everything we had discussed thus far had zero to do with sex, or kinkiness or anything like that, I had to tell her I had one of the hardest erections I could muster because of how incredibly attracted to her very powerful self I was.  I've referred to it in the past as a "Love Boner".

We came to some very important conclusions that night at dinner and going forward I feel incredible happy about our future.  Mistress K. acknowledges that her happiness in our marriage is completely within her control, and even though for some that is a daunting position to be in, for my beautiful Mistress Wife it will be a piece of cake.

The last job we tackled was a revision of our "Rules".  In the beginning I was told/allowed to write down some standing rules that defined a number of things and in many ways, acted like a contract.  We've a few revisions to it over the years, but on this night, we went through each and every rule and made either kept it in tact, adjusted according to Mistress K.'s preference, or deleted in entirely.  I am tasked with putting those changes in writing on the document, at which time we (Mistress K.) will re view it, in another "working" date night.  Mistress K. will either approve the final changes or make additional changes.  We will go through this process until the "Rules" are to her liking ... for know. 

I will ask Mistress K. if I can post a copy of the Rules here when completed.