Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Milked .......

It was Monday, just like Mistress said it would be.  As I said in my previous post, I had no idea of anything other than Mistress intended to drain me of my semen.  The 9pm hour was approaching and the kids were finally in bed.  Mistress had mentioned earlier in the week that she wanted to trim my body hair.  She sent me to the bathroom and told me to prepare the clippers and myself for some grooming.  Standing naked in the shower, Mistress arrived and began the chore of grooming me.  She trimmed my body hair very, very close ... like using electric clippers without any guard close.  Afterward, I looked at myself I the mirror and I have to admit, I like what I saw.  I've never been one to want to be feminized but with that being said, it did make me feel a bit like a slut, which you may already know, I do enjoy.  Especially now ... on the cusp of being milked by my Mistress ....

(side bar  -  In the middle of writing this post, I received a call from Mistress with instructions to go to her throne in our bedroom, sit there, masturbate for one minute (and DO NOT COME of course), video it and send it to her.   Mission accomplished.

Back tour story.  Mistress instructed me to shower to remove any loose hair.  In the shower I put a fresh shave on the area of my body that is owned by her.  I mean after all, if she was going to be paying close attention to that part of my body, it should at least e freshly groomed as well. When I emerged from the bathroom, Mistress instructed me to get a towel.  She laid it our on the floor at the foot of our bed, then disappeared into our closet telling me lie face up on the towel.  The Aneros milking tool was lying nearby. 

When she returned, she placed a blindfold on me and thus began the process of my milking.

It became clear early on that Mistress intended for this to be a romantic event and proceeded to subject my naked body to all sorts of sensation.  There was tickling, biting, scratching, tender kisses, soft tongue gentle hands and over my body.  Mistress even honored me by taking my cock into her Goddess mouth and pleasure me for several minutes that way.  I always consider it an incredible honor when Mistress will place her mouth anywhere on my body, and especially so when she takes my cock in her mouth.  Yummy. 

Mistress then straightened my left leg fully and secured my left ankle to the bed.  Then, she bound my wrists together and stretched them fully and secured them as well, leaving me fully stretched.  My right leg was left unsecured.  I was to discover shortly that she left it unsecured on purpose in order to be able to raise that leg and paddle my bottom from time to time, which she did several times.  On one occasion, she raised my leg and was paddling me and struck my balls.  It hurt!  She didn't seem to mind and continued with her procedure.  She also produced our flogger and proceeded to flog my exposed, vulnerable body all over, included my now aching balls.  Mistress hadn't shown much interest in the past for CBT but on this occasion seemed to enjoy the moans of pain that were coming from my mouth (which was gagged by this time with out ball gag).  After 30 minutes or so of delicious torture over my body, Mistress liberally applied lube to my ass and gently slide a finger inside.  It was time to get to the task at hand ... the draining of my balls of it's contents.

After a minute or so of her finger, I could feel the hardness of the Aneros at my rear hole.  Mistress slide it quickly but gently and soon my prostate was feeling the full effect of the intruder.  Mistress "primed the pump" by stroking my cock and in no time I was so very close to the edge I felt certain I wasn't going to be able to prevent an ejaculation.  I knew that if I had ejaculated now, without her permission to do so, I'd be subject to a very harsh spanking punishment like the one I received a week or so ago for the very same offense.  It took every ounce of strength I had to prevent an ejaculation.  There was an emission but it only precum.  I was so deep in subspace and lost in the sensations that were happening to me.  Mistress was working the Aneros on my prostate and in no time, the semen just ran from body and was pooling all over my tummy.  There was no controlling it.  It was a completely involuntary expulsion of semen, and there was a ton of it.  There was no orgasm.  None. There wasn't even the kind of slight pleasure that comes from a ruined orgasm.  it was merely the sensation of the fluid leaving my body.  Mistress removed the device from my wanton ass leaving me wanting more.  I just laid there, covered in my own cum while Mistress removed the restraints.  When my limbs were free, Mistress laid with not saying a word.  We just laid there holding each other.  A few minutes later, Mistress instructed me to clean everything up so we could go to bed.

Isn't she the greatest Mistress ever?  Mission accomplished!

The following morning, I was instructed to wear my glass again that day.  I felt the soreness inside my hole all day but it was the kind of soreness that felt wonderful. 

On this morning I asked Mistress permission to ask her to consider something (that's a new rule for us).  She said yes, so I asked her that since she was on her monthly visitor, and since it was the only time of the month that she even consider using her strapon on me, I asked her if she would consider donning her thigh harness that holds her rubber cock, and allow me to ride it while she sat in her throne.

She said she would consider it.  I'm so excite that she is considering it.  I love performing for her this way ..... I hope she says yes!

I'll ask again, isn't she the greatest Mistress Wife ever?

Monday, April 27, 2015

You will be milked tonight

Last night when we got into bed, we were both just so tired.  Even so, before Mistress's head could hit the pillow, I asked Mistress .. "would you like an orgasm this evening?", as I do almost every night.  She said "thank you pet, but not tonight.  I am just so tired."  I replied, "yes Mistress" and pressed my naked body against hers so we could fall asleep. 

A minute or so later, Mistress said "tomorrow night, after the kids are in bed, you are going to be milked!".  I replied with a simple but eager "Yes Mistress", and pulled her into me tighter and pressed my hardening cock into her.  Moments later she was asleep and then so was I.  Before I feel asleep, I wondered what exactly that meant.  Would she want to merely, as a matter of clinical-like maintenance, drain my balls of the months worth of cum that has built up in there. 

After all, I have denied orgasms for a longer period of time than ever before.  Was it going to be her intention to milk me through prostate massage?  Was she going to turn me into her little ass slut and fuck my ass with her strapon until I emptied all my cum?  Not knowing was killing me, but whatever it was to be, I am so excited for it.

This morning 5:52 am, I prepared her coffee in anticipation of my morning ritual of worshipping her tummy to wake her.  This particular morning, at 5:55 am precisely, I removed all my clothes and climbed onto the bed to wake her with my worship.  It has become my most favorite part of every work day.  I just love those few moments every morning where I can wallow in subspace and worship at the altar of the most beautiful woman in the world.  But I digress ............

There was no mention of the milking this morning and for fear of seeming to eager and pestering her, I didn't bring it up.  Mistress was on the way to her office when she called to inform me that in advance of tonight's milking "you will masturbate to the edge 4 separate times in the shower.  Then you will wear your plug today so you will be ready for your milking tonight".  Then there will be further instructions for you to follow this evening after work".  Oh boy ...............

Truth be told, whatever method intends to accomplish the emptying of my balls, I will not be distracted from her intended goal, which is of course.  Given a preference, I am hopeful that Mistress intends to accomplish this without allowing me to have a full orgasm.  It has been almost 3 months since my last full orgasm and I am actually more and more proud of each day that passes without needing or wanting one, while I am still in a constant state of desire for my beautiful Mistress.

Wish me luck!

Thursday, April 23, 2015

Every Morning

In a recent post, I wrote about some of the new routines and rituals that Mistress has set for us as a couple going forward.  One of those is ... at precisely 5:55am every workday, I am have her freshly prepare cup of coffee available and sitting on the night stand next to the bed.  Then I am to tenderly, lovingly and effectively waken her using only soft kisses on her belly and torso region.  Before going to bed last, I asked Mistress if I could take a picture of the beauty at which I am to worship each morning and she said yes.  This is typical of what my new morning ritual looks like every morning.  This is Mistress K. in all her glory.  Please forgive the grainy, dark picture.  It was still kind of dark in there but I couldn't help but share the beauty of glorious Mistress Wife (with her permission of course).

Since starting this wonderful ritual, at precisely 5:56am every work day, my cock is as hard as it ever is and can be.

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Sunday, yummy Sunday (continued)

I mentioned in my previous about other yummy things that happened last Sunday, so here goes:

After receiving the surprisingly hard spanking earlier in the day, and the beautiful aftercare that followed, I found myself with a kind of "walking on air" feeling for the rest of the day.  It was getting close to bedtime.  We had finished a lovely dinner as a family and Mistress was putting the kids to bed.  She had informed me that we were going to sit outside and enjoy the beautiful Arizona evening before we went to bed.  You know, we time.  There were no sexual overtones.  It was just supposed to be the two of us sitting outside, enjoying quiet paradise.  It's something we do from time to time and is very relaxing.   I was still grimy from the activities of the day (working on the car and around the yard) so I went to take a shower so I could be clean, smelling good and better to cuddle with when were went outside.  

In the shower I put a fresh shave on my down-there regions because Mistress had recently told me that there were be more frequent inspections of that area in order to confirm compliance of the rule that I always be freshly shaved around my cock, balls and ass.  Spanking punishment would be the result of non-compliance and with Mistress' recent, renewed enthusiasm for harshly punishing me, and mostly because I don't want to disappoint Mistress, I have started to shave there every other day, sometimes on consecutive days.  For those of us that shave down there, you probably know that sometimes you just can't seem to get s nice, close shave, and other times you can get a beautiful smooth-all-over shave.  When that happens, at least for me, it makes me feel especially sexy.  This night was one of those awesome shaving experiences and I was as smooth and buttery I can ever remember.  Getting out of the shower and applying the Tend Skin, I was feeling especially proud and decided that I would accompany Mistress outside wearing only a t-shirt.  The one I wore went down about an inch or so past my but and in that moment, it felt like I was a naked girl, wearing no panties under a short dress.  It was hot.

I went outside dressed like, expecting to see Mistress but she was still putting the kids to bed.  After about 10 minutes, she emerged and came to join me on the outside bench couch to enjoy the quiet of the night.  Since it was dark, she didn't know that I was naked under my short "dress".  After a few minutes, we were cuddling and she went to put her hand on my cock and was surprised to find me naked down there.  She very much approved and began to inspect my down-there region of signs of hair.  She was very pleased with me that I was buttery smooth.  As she does often, she purposely avoids direct contact with my penis during inspection, as a way to tease me and to keep the act of inspection all business.  Jokingly, I mentioned that she didn't need to ignore my shaft during her inspection because there are the occasional hairs that grow there that she should be certain were removed.  She giggled and said no and removed her hand and we resumed our cuddling.  I was left with a growing cock and no expectation of anything further. 

She pulled away from me slightly, sat up and lifting my little shirt that was barely covering my parts and without warning, leaned down and took me into her mouth and starting to give me a beautiful, tender, lovingly sincere blow job.  I was in heaven.  I won't go on to explain the obvious joy of receiving a blowjob but I will tell you that for me, I consider it such an incredible honor anytime Mistress allows my penis to enter any part of her body.  Her body is my temple and to look down and see my beautiful queen making love to my cock with her mouth is almost an indescribable joy.  I immediately feel like I am the luckiest man in the world.  It's hard to explain, but it's more of an emotional euphoria than physical.  On this beautiful night, in this beautiful setting, my Queen, my Mistress was pleasuring my cock with her mouth.  It was absolute heaven. 

Event though I hadn't cum in forever, I was surprised at how long I could go without informing Mistress that I was near orgasm.  It was like 10 minutes of pure bliss.  When I was approaching orgasm, Mistress would stop for a moment and lay her head on my chest leaving my rock hard cock bobbing and wanting more attention.  About 2 minutes later, without saying a word, Mistress resumed her oral gift and it went on for another 7-8- minutes before she stopped to prevent me from cumming.  She then decided it was time for us to go to bed and ordered me to my feet.  She stood in front and pulled up my shirt as if her little slut was standing there, naked under her dress, waiting to be revealed.  That feeling of objectification that moment was magical.  "let's go to bed" she said and turned to walk inside. 

Once in bed, I asked Mistress (like I do every night before we go to sleep) if she would like an orgasm this night.  She said she would and she instructed me to stand at the side of the bed bed.  She then instructed me to knell on the floor beside the bed.  Once I was properly kneeling, she scooted to the edge, opened her legs and without saying a word, silently commanded me to service her orally.  Being allowed to put my mouth on her pussy or anus gives me the same feeling of true honor of being allowed to worship at her temple like this.  She had me stop when she said "put your cock inside me".  My cock was never harder.  Being allowed to worship at her temple always gets me that way.  I stood immediately and slowly entered her while she was marinating in sexual pleasures.  Looking down at her as I slowly slide my cock inside was yet another glorious moment of honor for me.  I slowly filled and began to slowly push in and out of her when the feeling of a pending orgasm came rushing toward me.  I stopped and at that point she could sense why and without skipping a beat, she said "get back down there".  This was something new an different because normally Mistress doesn't like the idea of me putting my mouth where my cock had just been.  It's probably for the same (or similar) reason that she doesn't like the idea of me having to consume my cum like so many other submissive men are required to do.

I alternated between cock and tongue for what seemed like forever when she instructed me to hand her the vibrator. When I did, she rolled onto her tummy then pushed her ass up in the air and ordered me to resume fucking her, but this time with my penis extension (pinky) on.  It was obvious she didn't want her orgasm being pre-empted by me finding myself on the edge of orgasm.  With the vibrator doing it job nicely on her clit while my cock was buried inside her, she had two intense orgasms, one after the other until finally collapsing on the bed.  I stepped back and stood dutifully at the side of the bed while she recovered.   That vision was yet another experience that I was honored to be allowed to have.  Seeing lead up to an orgasm, have 2 of them and then watch her lay there in post-orgasmic joy.  I stood there a very proud and thankful submissive husband, relishing in the gifts that my benevolent Mistress Wife had bestowed upon me. 

As she was getting her "legs" back following her orgasm, she asked me when was the last time I had an orgasm.  "Early February Mistress" was my reply.  Of course I was hopeful that her question was an indicator that I may be having one this evening until she next said, "put everything where it belongs and come cuddle me in bed.  You'll be going to sleep with a hard cock tonight".  After cleaning everything and putting things where they belong, I climbed into bed, nuzzled up next to my naked Mistress Wife that was still feeling the physical effects of her incredible orgasms, and held her close while she fell asleep.  Before she dozed off, I was able to whisper into her ear how grateful I was for the entire day and for her ownership of me.  She let out a moan that sounded like a contented smile and quickly fell asleep. 

What a lucky man I am.  My God, what a lucky man I am.

Monday, April 20, 2015

Sunday, yummy Sunday

Yesterday (Sunday) we, as a family, had a day with nothing on the schedule for any of us.  A rare thing indeed lately.  I was thrilled because it meant that I was going to be able to work on the car in the garage, which is very much akin to therapy for me.  It wasn't that any therapy was needed, but there is just something so satisfying about getting your hands dirty, and building or fixing something. 

While in the garage, I was summoned into the house by Mistress who promptly declared that she would prefer that I be wearing pretty panties while I was engaged in my manly garage activities.  "Yes Mistress", and off I went in to the closet and put on some pretty panties.  I was then excused into the garage to resume my Macgyver-like activies ... with a contented smile on my face. 

Soon, Mistress appeared in the garage to let me know that she was taking all the kids somewhere and would return shortly.  My head firmly buried in my work, I responded with a loving "yes Dear" and off she went.  She returned a short time later and approached me in the garage and tapped me on the shoulder.  "Perhaps we should take care of your punishment now that we have the house all to ourselves?"  You see, Mistress had witnessed my bathroom sink being in an unsightly condition on two separate occasions in the last couple of days and had declared that a punishment would be coming for that.  At that particular moment, I was greasy, grimy, sweaty from the work that I was doing and had asked Mistress if we could delay it because I was at a particular point in my work where it was helpful to keep going.  She looked at me, brows furrowed a bit, paused for a few seconds and just said   "Okay, I guess".  It was clear that that she didn't want to delay but for some reason allowed it.  Maybe it was the sight of her grimy submissive that allowed to her acquiesce.

After just a few moments of thinking of it, I wondered to myself what the hell was I thinking?  I very quickly cleaned all of the grin and stuff off me and went into the house, apologized to her for even suggesting that she consider a delay and asked her if we could proceed with the execution of my punishment.  She was not mad, but she wasn't entirely happy either.  She replied with a "sure" and continued doing what she was doing.  I knew to immediately remove all of my clothes because it is our rule that I be naked when we are alone, unless instructed otherwise.  When I was naked down to my panties, I asked Mistress if I should leave them on and she said "yes, of course".  Once naked (almost) and standing at attention before her, she turned and moved toward the bedroom and said "come with me".  She locked the bedroom door, went and retrieved a small stool that have, put it in the middle of the room and laid 2 large pillows on it.  She pointed and told me to get in position and went to the closet to retrieve her paddle. 

When she returned, she was standing over me and said something to the effect of  ... this punishment isn't for something as serious as your previous punishment (unauthorized ejaculation).  It was however, part of a renewed effort to be consistent with our mutual communication as we discussed earlier in the week at our revealing dinner.  After her comment, I was relaxed, thinking that this spanking could even be a little fun because she was in a good mood, feeling playful and just told me it was for a far less serious infraction than what I was spanked for (ouchy!!!) on Wednesday.  Mistress reached down and gently lowered my panties to just below my ass, and the spanking began.  The first few swats were light, tender and frankly enjoyable.  After that ....... OUCH!  This was my new reality.  My spankings would be meaningful (ouchy), no matter how minor the infraction from now on. 

Mistress let me have it.  She has become especially proficient at knowing how to get that extra sting out of the very tip of her pink leather paddle.  Despite my best efforts to receive my spanking without complaint, I was writhing and yelping in no time as she continued with her very deliberate, painful punishment.  When she finally finished, I was covered in sweat and panting heavily.  She pulled up my panties, had me kneel before her and she administered her usual aftercare.  After I thanked her for my spanking, she said "you're welcome pet" and moved to put the paddle away in her special drawer.  Here is the aftermath.  It doesn't look as bad as it was in the picture and what can't be seen in the picture very definite outline of the end of the paddle on the side of my right cheek. 

This is my new reality.  I am conflicted because the more consistent and more severe spankings is something we both know is needed, and for that I couldn't be more grateful.  On the other hand, it hurts like hell!  I can tell you this .... my sink will be in pristine condition from now on. 

On another note, we had a beautiful night after the kids went to bed from which I was given a few yummy treats.  Details to follow in a forthcoming post.

Thursday, April 16, 2015

Last Night

Two things happened last night.  Two very important and profound things as they relate to my relationship to my Mistress Wife.

First, Mistress and I were on a dinner meeting that we occasionally do in order to review things FLM, including things that either of us may have on our minds, good, bad or indifferent.  It's quiet time away from the kids so we can speak about the things we normally can't talk about at our regular dinner table.  At this meeting, the conversation quickly went to me complaining some about not feeling her control, her dominance, her hands enough.  I whined some about how I was feeling neglected and that I was feeling that we have slowly moved to such a routine in our relationship that I feared that I was being taken for granted. 

(sidebar   -   This seems to be a common theme among some of my very good submissive husband blog friends.  One in particular is I'm Hers who has been posting and commenting on similar feelings he has been having on his blog.  If you aren't familiar with his blog, I encourage you to check it out because it is excellent!!  Here is a link: ). 

Over the course of my talking about my feelings, and trying to be clear that I wasn't unhappy or anything like that, I was coming like a whiney pussy of a submissive man and not the strong, confident submissive that I am expected to be.  It just started coming out.  Unintentionally, I started blaming Mistress K. for how I was feeling as if our whole FLM dynamic was centered on how I should feel from time to time.

In true, epic form, Mistress K. calmly made me realize two things.  Her love and desire for me was not an ounce less than it ever was and that it continues to grow each day.  She was appreciative of me expressing how I was feeling and very expertly made me understand that although how I was feeling was important to her, it wasn't about me.  It was about her.  She didn't just "shove that part up my ass" and tell me to like it or lump.  No, instead she was able to demonstrate how I am able (and frankly required) to better communicate with her about things that are on my mind, again good, bad or indifferent.    She's not a mind reader after all and if in the course of her very busy life she's not able to recognize my tender feelings fro time to time, it's my obligation to make them more apparent to her.  She was right and in no time, I felt waaaay better.

Out of this discussion came two things that she implemented as part of our routine, daily existence.  Beginning today and until further notice, each morning at precisely 5:55 am, I am to have her steaming hot coffee on her night stand and then I am to wake her gently by using only my kisses on her tummy.  The other thing she established is during those times when I need to talk about a situation that is on my mind, I am to formerly address her as Mistress, ask her permission to speak with her about whatever is on my mind before bring up an issue.  I had a recent post about rituals and how much I appreciate them.  Along those lines, I am so grateful and excited about these two new rituals. 

The other profound and important thing that happened last night was I finally received punishment for ejaculating without permission while at play in bed with Mistress.  I didn't know what to expect leading up to this punishment, especially because Mistress had made it clear before that it would be something that I needed to "mentally prepare" for.  I knew it would significant but didn't know exactly what it would be.  Frankly, my biggest concern was that Mistress K. was going to have me masturbate to a full orgasm immediately preceding her giving me a punishment spanking.  Those are the worst!  In the end, it turned out to be nothing more than the longest, hardest and most painful spanking I have ever received from her.  Good old fashioned blistering on my ass with her trusty pink leather paddle.  I thrashed and wriggled because it was painful but as my spanking went on, I could feel my shame and disappointment leave my body, and my love and devotion to her growing. With each swat, I felt that much more devoted to her, despite the pain. When it was over there were no tears (although they weren't that far off if she had continued) but it hurt and I sweating profusely.  I knew when it was about to begin, that it was going to hurt because Mistress had me get a pillow off the bed, put it on the floor and bury my face in it so the kids could not "hear my screams".  When it was finally over, the aftercare was incredible.  It was nothing more than what we always do .... her holding me and telling me that I am forgiven and that she loves me, but on this occasion, because of the nature of the infraction, I needed to be forgiven.

Afterward she got up and instructed me to get into bed because it was time to sleep.  When she joined me, I asked her if she would like an orgasm this night (like I seem to do every night now) and after thinking about for a second, she said yes.  She ordered me to retrieve her Hitachi-like vibrator and then to kiss and lick her nipples while she used it to bring herself to orgasm.  She had realized that giving me the spanking she gave had made her want to orgasm and for me to have to watch, knowing that it was the pinnacle of sexual pleasure that I would not be enjoying that evening.  It was magical and when she was done, she rolled over and before she could fall asleep, I thanked her for allowing me to witness her orgasm (like I always do), for her being the Dominant Mistress I needed her to be at dinner during our conversation, and for my incredible spanking.

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Deep, loving, heavenly sub space

On Sunday morning, Mistress walked over to me on her way out the door to shuttle kids around to their various activities, and she laid the clasp that normally hangs from the drawer that houses her beautiful panties.  It looks just like this:

This clasp normally hangs from the handle of her panty drawer and is used as a non-verbal indicator of the current state of Mistress K.'s domination.  Sort of an on/off switch.  As long as it hangs there, the level of domination is FULL and COMPLETE.  On occasion in the past (pre FLM days), Mistress enjoyed all of the trappings of being the submissive in role play, so she was familiar.  Mistress agreed with me when I suggested it, that just because she was now clearly in charge and the dominant one in our marriage, it doesn't necessarily mean that she should never allow herself to temporarily dabble in the joys of  sexual submission.  If Mistress were to remove the clasp from the handle of her panty drawer, and hang it on the handle of my panty drawer, it is another non-verbal way for Mistress to let me know that she is in desire of temporarily assuming a submissive role sexually.  The idea behind our doing this has mostly to do with wanting to avoid the need for verbal discussion about what she  wants or expects from me in my temporary dominant role.  The only rules to our now temporarily-switched roles are that I am to figure out one my own how to satisfy her temporary submissive desire, without asking, and that she may very well top-from-the-bottom in order to get what she wants.    That's a little background.

It hangs there 99.9999% of the time.  In the past 18 months or so, Mistress has only hung the clasp on my drawer handle once.  Since it is something that never happened before, I just failed to notice on that particular night.  Later she admonished me for not paying enough attention to her desires to not notice.  A short time after that, she began to tease me about how I missed my chance. 

On this past Sunday morning, I was sitting in a chair watching the Masters (golf) on TV when she laid the clasp on my lap.  I asked her way she was handing it to me and not handing it on the handle of my panty drawer, and did it mean .............. you know .... that she was going to be my sub that evening?  She answered with "because last time you were a dork and didn't even notice ... and yes, THAT is what it means, even though it was laying in my lap and not hanging from my panty drawer handle.

By the time the house was quiet, the kids were in bed and the time grew near for her to become my little sex toy (*smile), Mistress had a change of heart, which of course is always her prerogative.  I couldn't hide my disappointment.  I thought she had decided to cancel the festivities for the evening but instead she announced a change of plans.  She no longer wanted to feel the joys of sexual submission.  Instead she wanted to feel the joys of my mouth worshipping her body with soft licks, tender kisses and gentle bites.  It's her favorite thing.  Frankly, it's up there among my very favorite things too.  In the spirit of what was to be, Mistress did tell me that I had no restrictions to access any part of her body, as long she felt that what I was doing felt good to her.  Usually I must ask permission to put my mouth on her pussy or bottom hole.

Yes I was still a little disappointed.  I had all kinds of things I had planned for "my sub" that evening.  Mostly that entailed two things .... Me watching her masturbate to the edge of orgasm then stopping (edging), you know, for my viewing pleasure, and;     Having her kneel in a classic sub position, knees apart, palms up, while I held onto her beautiful little head and fucked her mouth.  I also thought I'd see how far I could take a spanking with her, without crossing the line.  None of those lovely things were meant to be. 

After a short period of worship time, Mistress wanted to orgasm.  She allowed me to get her close with my tongue and as she often does, told me to fuck her so she could have her orgasm with my cock inside of her.  In preparation for what was originally planned this night, I had her favorite large dildo already condom covered and ready for action and it was resting, out of sight, right next to her favorite Hitachi-type vibrator.  When she ordered her pussy to be filled for orgasm, I pulled her to the edge of the bed, handed her the vibrator, pulled my own cock for her beautiful pussy and slowly began to insert her (larger than me) dildo.  She began the process of having one of those, long, slow deep orgasms.  Being allowed to see her have an orgasm is at the pinnacle of joy for me, and this one was especially satisfying for Mistress, and for me.  OMG ...........

After giving Mistress a moment to recover physically, I took a chance that it would be ok climb back on the bed, get between her legs and slip my rock hard cock into her freshly fucked pussy.  With the tip of my ready-to-explode cock at the entrance of her pussy, I locked my eyes on hers and slowly slid inside of her.  It was magic!  All I wanted to do was look into her eyes and at her beautiful face while I slowly entered and moved inside of her.  She whispered to me ...... "do you want to cum tonight?"  and I replied .... "Yes, more than anything in the world other than one".  When she asked what that one things was, I said "the only thing i want more than being able to cum inside of you at this very tender and beautiful moment, is for you to deny me the permission to do so".  She told then that's how it shall it be and that she hoped that didn't change my mind because the decision has been made.  I wasn't cumming that night.

Over the next 20 or so minutes, I very slowly and methodically moved my in and out and around inside of her, while simply enjoying where I was, what I was allowed to doing and the stunning beauty of this beautiful mistress Goddess before me.  I fell comfortably and deep into a sub space that was nothing short of bliss.  I could've stayed there forever, but eventually, Mistress had to pee. 

As an aside, as we lay together in the glorious afterglow, I mentioned to Mistress that I really, really hoped that she would finally end the agony of me having to receive the punishment I am still due for ejaculating without permission.  She immediately said (again) that it shouldn't at all be something that I should be looking forward to, and then left it at that.  My only response to that was what I felt was true in my heart .... "I understand Mistress and I look forward to enduring and receiving whatever punishment of correction that you deem necessary".  With that she smiled, sighed in delight and drifted off to sleep.  And there I was, orgasm denied, punishment still pending, returning from a trip deep into sub space, holding the most beautiful woman in the world as she drifts off to sleep. 

I'm a lucky man.

Sunday, April 12, 2015

Stop occasionally and appreciate the things that you have

This morning, I was the first one awake (which is usually the case) in the house.  It was 5am, I had a nice hot cup of coffee and I was cruising the news on the internet.  For some reason, all of a sudden, a feeling of deep appreciation came over me for the things in my life that make me happy.  Here I was, sitting in a beautiful home, with a beautiful family, blissfully living our lives.  The kids are happy and healthy (to the extent teenagers can be), the weather is beautiful because I live in paradise, the cat is even rubbing on my leg showing me devotion and affection. 

Oddly, the cat's devoted demonstration of love got me to thinking.  When I initially started on my journey of interest in and contemplation of a FLM, one of the first tumblr sites I came across was Continuous State of desire.  Here is the link:

I knew then that the name itself is what drew me to that site.  What I didn't know then is that a constant state of desire would turn out to be the catalyst for pursuing my own Female Led Marriage.  There was nothing especially different about that the content of that particular Femdom/submale tumblr site. It had all the requisite pictures, some of which where incredibly hot and others that were, well meh.  Yet there was something about the title of the site that caused me to repeatedly return. 

I have said in the past that my primary goal in initially pursuing the lifestyle that we live now, was to be able always demonstrate my desire for the woman that I already knew I loved so much.  I was focused on not allowing the distractions and stresses that naturally come from normal suburban/professional/family/societal life to distract me from being able to naturally always feels in love and in lust with my beautiful wife.

Then one day, during my journey to and research I felt I needed in order to probably propose to my wife that she accept my submission, my then wife (not yet my Mistress) asked an off-handed question about whether we will still want to be with each other after the kids have left the nest.  I knew at that very moment that FLM and my asking her to be my Mistress, accepting my submission and to control all aspects of my sex was the right thing to do in order to avoid even the slightest risk of us growing apart as we raised our family.  So far (knock on wood), the continuous state of desire that I am lucky enough to live in is accomplishing that very thing.  Every aspect our lives together, our family in general, my work, her work is continuously getting better and better with each day.  Never in a million years could I have understood how I could be sitting here in the middle of April, having had only 1 full orgasm in the last (almost) 5 months, feeling so content with my sex life.  So happy and content in my marriage and so much in love and in lust with my beautiful Mistress Wife. 

With all of this in mind, in the supreme quiet of the pre-dawn, I leaned back in my chair, sipped don my delicious coffee and just smiled. 

I love You Mistress!

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

I really like spanking you harder

Those were the words that came out of Mistress' mouth in the daze that precedes falling asleep.  Mistress and I were both very tired last night and when we both got to bed, we both relished in the comfort of my naked body spooning her pj'ed body (she was chilly). 

Reviewing the day in my mind, I reminded Mistress that I was still due for a punishment for having ejaculated without permission. It is part of my duties as her sub to help her keep things top of mind, even if that means reminding her everyday.  She was in that dazed comfort just before falling a sleep and when she heard me remind her, she moaned in delight and then said "I really like spanking you much harder ... because it makes your punishments more effective."   GULP!  I literally gulped!  Then I said ... "Yes Mistress, I agree.  Even though I absolutely don't enjoy hard-hard swats, you are absolutely right, they are more effective in correcting my behavior" 

My mind went immediately to the thing that has been on my mind since she said.  I have been mentally preparing for my pending punishment for god knows how long now, and her comment only added to the need for me to mentally prepare more and better.

Btw, I don't know who that woman is in the picture, but every time I see a picture with her in it I feel like she is the epitome of  a non nonsense dominant wife.  I know it's just porn, but it's well done porn.

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Tell them ...........

Mistress walked up to me this morning, made me stand and then she took my cock through my shorts into her hand.   "I want you to get on your blog and tell your friends that I am going to fuck you soon".

Unless being given a specific instruction to do so, I wouldn't normally write such a thing here after being told that for fear of "jinxing" the possibility.  The last time I did that, circumstances prevented it from happening.  I assumed it was my fault for assuming.

I am nothing if I am not dutiful, so hence here is the declaration that Mistress told me to make.  I will remain hopeful that this comment coincides with it being Tuesday, which for me is butt plug day.

Have a great Tuesday everyone.

Sunday, April 5, 2015

Erotic Photography

Sometimes I'll come across a picture that is just so sexy, so hot, so artistically erotic, that I feel I need to share.  My friend Hypersexualgirl over at "love and lust blog"   

always has super sexy, super erotic pictures on her blog to compliment her story.  Others post internet pictures too, but this girl has a knack for artistic hotness. 

Even though these pictures have very little to do with FLM   (is that right?  Dang, I was hoping someone was going to tell me that it was the epitome of FLM - *smile), I think they are super hot and sexy. 

My holiday gift to you!  Whatever you may be celebrating this weekend.

Saturday, April 4, 2015

I've been chosen

Di Na has nominated me for the ...

I am honored that you thought of me Di Na. Thank You!

I know that for some of you, these kinds of things are silly and a waste of time.  For others, they are so fun and offer a great opportunity to get to know someone better.  I’m both, but never at the same time.  Sometimes I read some of this stuff and yawn, then hit my head on the keyboard once I’ve final dozed off.  Other times I’ll read this kind of stuff and think, holy shit … that’s awesome;  or holy shit … that’s hot!
My friends, if you are among those that think this is silly, I ask that you indulge me and allow me a hall pass to do this in your mind.  For those of you that love doing this kind of thing, please understand that I won’t be nominating anyone for fear of not knowing how they might feel about now having to be obligated to participate.  I so much value the friendship and relationship I have with each reader here.  I did the same thing when that Ice Bucket challenge was going around.   

Here we go:
The rules (where are these rules kept, anyway?*smile)...for the Real Neat Blog Award are

1)  Put the award logo in your post 

2)  Answer 7 questions asked by the person who nominated you 
3)  Nominate any number of bloggers you like, linking to their blogs
4)  Let them know you nominated them

Di Na asked:

1. What non-physical attribute do you enjoy most in a partner?   I love how wonderfully sweet and loving she is to all people and all creatures.  It is the reason I fell in love with in the first place … that and her gorgeous ass!  *grin

2. How do you feel when others start flirting with your partner? 
It depends.  If it’s a man, yes there is apart of me that thinks it is hot because I know that Mistress should maybe deserve sexual pleasure in whatever she deems appropriate.  However, that part of me is completely eclipsed by the part of me that knows I would never be able to handle it emotionally.  If it is a woman ….. Yummy!

3. What's your special talent?  
I’m McGiver!  I can fix almost anything.

4. What makes you feel most alive: 
Other than the obvious answers of my family and my marriage to my Mistress …. Fishing!

5.  Is there anything about yourself you would change? 
I would be better organized

6.  What is your biggest fantasy? 
Tough one because there are so many.  To be the preferred sub among 1 or 2 other subs (female) that Mistress would have in her stable.  I would not be dominant nor submissive to this other sub(s), nor would I engage in sexually activity with her/them unless instructed to by Mistress.  All of this would be in an environment where we are surrounded by like minded people so I could demonstrate my submission to Mistress K. openly.
7. Kink - o - metre question: on a scale of 1 (vanilla) to 10 (kinkiest kinkster ever) where do you see yourself?    
6 with a strong desire to be led to 8.5 by Mistress K.

I sincerely thank you Di Na for honoring me with being on your list. 

Friday, April 3, 2015

Things are going to be different around here

Mistress did something this morning that she very rarely does.  She called me into the bathroom while she was getting ready and had me remove my clothes and go stand against the wall and wait there.  She walked over to me, had me present herself by turning toward her.  She began to down toward my cock and I thought .... hey, she's going to edge me with her mouth.  Nice!

No ....... she was giving me an inspection.  An inspection that I failed because there was stubble on my cock and balls.  She pointed toward the closet, and had me stand flush against the wall and raise my arms above my head.  She got her paddle and while doing so, informed that she was going to punish me for the "nasty hair" I allowed to grow where it shouldn't be, and that my other, more significant punishment was still pending.

She spanked me HARD.  I mean hard.  Harder than she usually ever does.  She gave 15 or 20 really hard swats while scolding me about how my lack of adherence to her rules was going to be a thing of the past, and that this type of hard spanking will be the norm.  She put the paddle away, had me kneel on the floor where she was standing and apologize for what I had done.

It hurt.  A lot.  Oh wait, I already said that, but this has me even more worried that my pending punishment for ejaculating without permission, you know, the one she told me I should probably mentally prepare for, is going to be hard to endure.  As much as I am not looking forward to getting it, I know it is exactly what I need, what we need in our marriage.  Thank you Mistress

Thursday, April 2, 2015

Ejaculating without permission

It happened.  It has never happened before but it happened.  About a week ago, Mistress wanted me inside her while she was using her vibrator to have an orgasm.  On this occasion, she had specifically told me that I would not be having an orgasm, ruined or otherwise.  It is my job of course to pull out if I get too close to the edge but on this occasion, I pulled out too late.  I didn't have an orgasm (not even a ruined one for that matter) but my body just took over and a small ejaculation happened.  All over her tummy.  My initial hope was that it was just a build up of pre cum, bit alas, it was the real thing.

This marks the first time that I have ejaculated without permission.  Not only did I not have permission, but was specifically told NOT TO!

My friend little girl talked about the nervous anticipation that goes along with knowing that a punishment spanking is pending, and not knowing when or to what extend.  You can read her words here:

Nervously, I attempt to "prepare myself mentally" for what is coming, but it only seems to manifest itself in shame and regret for having displeased Mistress the way I did.

I'll keep you posted.