Edge time

Just now, as Mistress was blow-drying her hair, she summoned me into the bathroom.  "Edge yourself", she said.  I retrieved the lube and placed the bath mat on the floor behind her and just to the side.  I removed my shorts, put some lube in my hand laid down on my back behind her.  She said "did I say you could do that?"  I got to my feet, walked over to her and asked if I could do my edging on the floor behind her.  She grinned and said "yes".

I resumed my position on the floor, laid back, closed my eyes, spread my legs and began to stroke myself, slowly to the edge.  After a short time of tenderly bringing myself to the edge, I knew I had to stop.  I opened my eyes and Mistress was staring at me.  I stood, washed my hands, kissed her neck and thanked her.  She thoroughly enjoyed it and so did I. 

Off to shower and to insert my plug (it's Tuesday).

Blue Balls

 

It may sound crazy, but I have the epitome of aching blue balls and I love how it feels!  The dull ache that rests inside my pants is a constant reminder of the object of my emotional, spiritual and lustful desires.

 

On Friday I posted about how Mistress K. instructed me to masturbate to the edge every hour, on the hour, for the entire day.  Right up until bedtime.  I had no idea what, if anything would come of it in the sex play department but I found out as soon as we got into bed.  NOTHING!  Mistress wanted nothing more than for me to cuddle and nuzzle her while she fell quietly to sleep i our marital bed.  I asked if I could have relief then and she quietly said no.  "This is not the time .... now go to sleep "

 

Saturday was a day filled with busy family and parenting stuff, all day and night.  Apart from me walking over to her at various times during the day, to nuzzle in her neck and to tell her that I loved her, there was no physical interaction romantically or sexually.

 

Sunday?  Sunday?  Sunday was quite a bit different.  Mistress awoke about 7:45 in the morning.  When I heard her rise, I scurried to retrieve her coffee as I do every morning.  I handed it her and she was still very bleary eyed and sleepy.  Her long straight red hair was a disheveled tangled mess that half covered her face.  She was wearing her short little nightie that although isn't designed to be sexy but rather comfortable, I think it is sexy as hell.  I held her tight, kisses her face and neck and took in the body aroma that is uniquely her and declared my daily devotion to her.  She then hurried off to the restroom.

 

When she returned, she had shaken off the sleepiness and walked over to me sitting in the chair at the computer and began to kiss my neck.  She reached down and started to rub me through my shorts and gave me my instructions for the day.  She said "beginning at 8 this morning, you are to edge yourself every half hour for the entire day".  She grabbed my face, looked me in the eye and asked me if I understood my instructions.  I said "Yes maam".  "Good boy" and with that she kissed me softly then went to the kitchen to make breakfast for the kids.  She got 5 feet away then returned and said "oh, and you'll be wearing frilly panties all day".  She kissed me again and then left. 

 

EVERY HALF HOUR!!!!!  We went to bed at 10:30 that night.  Some quick math will tell that during the day on Sunday, I brought myself to the edge 29 times.  Yes .... 29 times.  She didn't come right out and say it, but she eluded to the fact that at the end of the day that I would be separated from the fluid that was gathering in my balls.  When we finally got into bed (she had to wake me up from the couch), she turned to me and started kissing me softly and saying what a good boy I was.  She started rubbing my soft cock and in no time i was all revved up in anticipation of, well, I didn't;t actually know, but i was certain it would be something.  Would she just drain me to ease the ache?  Would she stroke me until I couldn't hold it any longer and feign being disappointed that I came without permission?  I was pretty certain that she wasn't going to allow me to enter her because she knew that with all of that edging, I'd go off before I was able to get the whole head in. 

 

She stroked me to the edge 3 or 4 more times to the point i was begging her to allow me to ejaculate.  I wasn't asking to orgasm, I was begging to be drained.  She kissed me softly, held my face and quietly said no.  Now is not the time, and then rolled over and instructed me to cuddle her.  For the next 10 minutes I begged, whimpered, begged some more in desperate hope that she would acquiesce

and allow me to drain my balls.  She would have none of it and finally had to sternly tell me that if she had to say no one more time, I would be punished right then! 

 

Which brings us to today.  This morning, i was noticeably pouty about the fact that I was so frustrated about being denied the previous night.  She made a very subtle warning that this sort of behavior was not going to be tolerated ... at all!  I got the message real quick and apologized for being pouty.  A short time later, after bringing her a fresh cup of coffee and while she was facing the mirror putting on her makeup, I knelt behind her, slowly lifted her nightie and placed tender soft kisses on her gorgeous bottom and thanked her for her strength and for allowing me to be owned by her.  She informed that today I was to edge myself every 90 minutes throughout the day and then she handed me the panties that she wanted me to wear for the day.  I took the panties, said "Yes Mistress" and then thank her before leaving her to finish what she was doing.

 

Being in this state of unbelievably constant state of desire has allowed me to remember that it is not at all about my desire, or whether or not i think i should be allowed to cum, ruined or otherwise.  it is all about her and if having do this makes her happy, then it most certainly makes me happy. 

She was reading my blog .......

The past two mornings, before starting her routine for getting for the day, Mistress K. sat in her Queen chair in our bedroom, cup of freshly poured coffee next (that I had just brought her), opened up her iPad and did a little reading on this blog.  I don't mind telling you what a thrill I get when Mistress will take the time to read my blog. 

A few moments later, Mistress called me into the room.  I didn't know why ... I assumed she needed her coffee warmed up.  I walked over to her and she sent me back to the bedroom door to close and lock it.  There were kids in the house still sleeping.  "Get some lube in your hand", were her instructions and with that I removed my shorts and my rapidly hardened cock sprang forward.  I went into the closet and placed lube in my hand and returned, standing in front of her.  She pointed to the floor and said "kneel there".  I kneeled .......  "Masturbate for me" were her next words.  So while she continued to peruse my blog and read the comments from my dear friends and readers, I slowly, methodically stroked myself with my right hand while my left hand went behind my back. 

She gets a little caught up with my thoughts here (although there is months worth of posts that she still hasn't had the time to read) and gets to see the comments left by my fiends and readers.  For example, she asked me "Who is K in New England"?  I asked her if she remembered me telling her about a small group of submissive wives that I had become close blog friends with, and how they had essentially accepted me as one of their submissive "sisters".  She said she did and then mention that K was one of those sisters.  She giggled and thought that was adorable.  She then went "Ewwww" when reading a comment from Mistress A. who suggested in a comment on my post "Eve of Milking Day", that I be required to consume my cum on my monthly milking day.  She went on to suggest that she knew that even though I have said it is not something that is appealing to either Mistress K. or me, that it was something that I wanted to be required to do anyway.  Mistress K. asked me "you don't want to do that do you"?  I said, those are her words Mistress, not mine.

I was in heaven.  Dutifully kneeling there while she sipped her coffee and read by blog.  (Did I mention that I so much love it when she reads my blog?)  I sat there in awe of her as she sat so confidently in her chair, reading my blog.  I wondered what she was reading and what she was thinking of what she was reading, never once ceasing to stroke my cock for her.  I went through at least a dozen trips to the very edge of orgasm while she continued her reading, letting out moans of delicious agony as I struggled to continue to stroke myself while simultaneously struggled to avoid having an ejaculation. 

Suddenly she said "go get my leather paddle".  I thought this was it.  I thought the dreaded, anticipated, significant punishment was about to happen.  Instead, Mistress had me stand in front of her and while continuing to stroke myself, she played with my ass and her paddle.  I instinctively knew that this wasn't the punishment I have anticipating with some dread and fear, and she confirmed that to be the case.  "No, I just wanted to have a little fun is all".  During this "play" spanking, Mistress discovered a way to be able to add a little extra sting with her paddle with a particular angle.  It's just an added bonus when Mistress can unexpectedly discover something new with our dynamic that she can use in the future.  After about 30 swats or so, she handed me the paddle, had me put it away and then told me to wash my hand, put my shorts back on and return to her.  When those things where completed, I returned to her, kneeled in front of her as she sat in her throne and she extended an arm to me, pulling me into her so I could relish in her tenderness.  I so very much love those moments after a paddling, even play paddling's like I had just received.  The words "thank you for my spanking Mistress" involuntarily came from my mouth and upon those words, she pulled in closer.

Shortly after, she excused me so she could continue her reading uninterrupted.  I am so in love with this woman!

Masturbate for me!

This morning I was working away on the computer.  It was early and only Mistress and I were awake in the house, and she was in the shower.  I heard the shower turn and just then I was summoned.  "Lover ... ? come here please!"  I marched into the bathroom and she was just emerging from the shower.  She was naked (yay) and wet and while she was beginning to dry herself, she said "take off your pants and masturbate for me".  I removed my shorts, reached for the bottle of lube and started to walk toward her. 

She pointed to the big Jacuzzi tub we have and said "there.  Sit there on the edge of the tub and masturbate for me while I dry myself.  I want to watch you".  I began my task but since I was only 20 seconds or so into it, my cock was getting hard, but wasn't fully hard.  She said "I want to see it hard!"  "Yes Mistress".  Those words were all it took and I was hard as a diamond in another 15 seconds.  It didn't take long for me to arrive at the edge, and it coincided with her finishing drying her hair.  She merely said .... "you may go now" and pointed to the bathroom door.  It's the little things!

It's the little things.  Last evening I was standing at my sink in my bathroom after just changing out of my fancy work clothes'.  I was wearing loose shorts and a t shirt when she walked up behind me, and while pointing at the counter in from of me, said "hands".  She pulled my shorts down just past my ass and began spanking me with her hand.  There were no words and although this wasn't a punishment spanking, it was still firmer than before Mistress decided to amp up the paddling.  She spanked my bare bottom with her hand about 12-13 times and promptly pulled my shorts back up and walked over to her sink on her side of the bathroom, which is about 20 feet away.  On my way out of the bathroom, I walked over to her and stood for a second while she exposed her neck, indicating that is where i should kiss her.  I did just that and then said "Thank you for my spanking Mistress", then left the room.

It's the little things.

Deep, loving, heavenly sub space

On Sunday morning, Mistress walked over to me on her way out the door to shuttle kids around to their various activities, and she laid the clasp that normally hangs from the drawer that houses her beautiful panties.  It looks just like this:

This clasp normally hangs from the handle of her panty drawer and is used as a non-verbal indicator of the current state of Mistress K.'s domination.  Sort of an on/off switch.  As long as it hangs there, the level of domination is FULL and COMPLETE.  On occasion in the past (pre FLM days), Mistress enjoyed all of the trappings of being the submissive in role play, so she was familiar.  Mistress agreed with me when I suggested it, that just because she was now clearly in charge and the dominant one in our marriage, it doesn't necessarily mean that she should never allow herself to temporarily dabble in the joys of  sexual submission.  If Mistress were to remove the clasp from the handle of her panty drawer, and hang it on the handle of my panty drawer, it is another non-verbal way for Mistress to let me know that she is in desire of temporarily assuming a submissive role sexually.  The idea behind our doing this has mostly to do with wanting to avoid the need for verbal discussion about what she  wants or expects from me in my temporary dominant role.  The only rules to our now temporarily-switched roles are that I am to figure out one my own how to satisfy her temporary submissive desire, without asking, and that she may very well top-from-the-bottom in order to get what she wants.    That's a little background.

It hangs there 99.9999% of the time.  In the past 18 months or so, Mistress has only hung the clasp on my drawer handle once.  Since it is something that never happened before, I just failed to notice on that particular night.  Later she admonished me for not paying enough attention to her desires to not notice.  A short time after that, she began to tease me about how I missed my chance. 

On this past Sunday morning, I was sitting in a chair watching the Masters (golf) on TV when she laid the clasp on my lap.  I asked her way she was handing it to me and not handing it on the handle of my panty drawer, and did it mean .............. you know .... that she was going to be my sub that evening?  She answered with "because last time you were a dork and didn't even notice ... and yes, THAT is what it means, even though it was laying in my lap and not hanging from my panty drawer handle.

By the time the house was quiet, the kids were in bed and the time grew near for her to become my little sex toy (*smile), Mistress had a change of heart, which of course is always her prerogative.  I couldn't hide my disappointment.  I thought she had decided to cancel the festivities for the evening but instead she announced a change of plans.  She no longer wanted to feel the joys of sexual submission.  Instead she wanted to feel the joys of my mouth worshipping her body with soft licks, tender kisses and gentle bites.  It's her favorite thing.  Frankly, it's up there among my very favorite things too.  In the spirit of what was to be, Mistress did tell me that I had no restrictions to access any part of her body, as long she felt that what I was doing felt good to her.  Usually I must ask permission to put my mouth on her pussy or bottom hole.

Yes I was still a little disappointed.  I had all kinds of things I had planned for "my sub" that evening.  Mostly that entailed two things .... Me watching her masturbate to the edge of orgasm then stopping (edging), you know, for my viewing pleasure, and;     Having her kneel in a classic sub position, knees apart, palms up, while I held onto her beautiful little head and fucked her mouth.  I also thought I'd see how far I could take a spanking with her, without crossing the line.  None of those lovely things were meant to be. 

After a short period of worship time, Mistress wanted to orgasm.  She allowed me to get her close with my tongue and as she often does, told me to fuck her so she could have her orgasm with my cock inside of her.  In preparation for what was originally planned this night, I had her favorite large dildo already condom covered and ready for action and it was resting, out of sight, right next to her favorite Hitachi-type vibrator.  When she ordered her pussy to be filled for orgasm, I pulled her to the edge of the bed, handed her the vibrator, pulled my own cock for her beautiful pussy and slowly began to insert her (larger than me) dildo.  She began the process of having one of those, long, slow deep orgasms.  Being allowed to see her have an orgasm is at the pinnacle of joy for me, and this one was especially satisfying for Mistress, and for me.  OMG ...........

After giving Mistress a moment to recover physically, I took a chance that it would be ok climb back on the bed, get between her legs and slip my rock hard cock into her freshly fucked pussy.  With the tip of my ready-to-explode cock at the entrance of her pussy, I locked my eyes on hers and slowly slid inside of her.  It was magic!  All I wanted to do was look into her eyes and at her beautiful face while I slowly entered and moved inside of her.  She whispered to me ...... "do you want to cum tonight?"  and I replied .... "Yes, more than anything in the world other than one".  When she asked what that one things was, I said "the only thing i want more than being able to cum inside of you at this very tender and beautiful moment, is for you to deny me the permission to do so".  She told then that's how it shall it be and that she hoped that didn't change my mind because the decision has been made.  I wasn't cumming that night.

Over the next 20 or so minutes, I very slowly and methodically moved my in and out and around inside of her, while simply enjoying where I was, what I was allowed to doing and the stunning beauty of this beautiful mistress Goddess before me.  I fell comfortably and deep into a sub space that was nothing short of bliss.  I could've stayed there forever, but eventually, Mistress had to pee. 

As an aside, as we lay together in the glorious afterglow, I mentioned to Mistress that I really, really hoped that she would finally end the agony of me having to receive the punishment I am still due for ejaculating without permission.  She immediately said (again) that it shouldn't at all be something that I should be looking forward to, and then left it at that.  My only response to that was what I felt was true in my heart .... "I understand Mistress and I look forward to enduring and receiving whatever punishment of correction that you deem necessary".  With that she smiled, sighed in delight and drifted off to sleep.  And there I was, orgasm denied, punishment still pending, returning from a trip deep into sub space, holding the most beautiful woman in the world as she drifts off to sleep. 

I'm a lucky man.

I am ready to get dressed for work Mistress

Yesterday morning, I was done with my usual morning routine.  I had showered, shaved my face balls, ass and cock after my long weekend away.  I was in the kitchen, naked, having just finishing the morning dishes when Mistress K. walked in the door from taking the kids to school.  I walked over to her and we canoodled for a few minutes.  Those moments of embrace are just so very special.  Just holding each other, my face buried in her neck, taking in her aroma in deep breaths. 

Like I do every morning, I told Mistress that I was ready to get dressed.  As many of you know, I have conditioned myself not let Mistress know I am waiting for her instructions on what to wear under my clothes by asking if I can wear this, or that, or ......?  Instead, I only advise her that I am ready to get dresses, offering her the opportunity to determine what, if anything I am to wear under my clothes.  Anything from panties, to cock rick, balls separator to butt plug.

On this particular morning, Mistress took my hand and led me into the bedroom.  I first thought she was going to take me into the closet where that collection of items is so we could look over them together, like she sometimes likes to do.  Instead, she took me to the edge of the bed and had bend at the waist, face in the bed.  her instructions were to not move.  I heard rustling in the closet for a minute or two then heard her walking toward me.  I didn't know what to expect.  Was she going to punish me?  Did she have me in this position because she was going to fuck my ass?  I didn't have any idea and not knowing was so very erotic.  Suddenly she slipped a blindfold over my eyes, stood me up straight, grabbed my hand and led me blindly behind her.  I knew we were headed in the direction of the bedroom entrance or the bathroom.  After banging my shoulder on the wall I couldn't see, Mistress stopped. I heard the double doors to our bedroom close.  Mistress pushed me against the door, facing it with instructions to put my feet together and keep my wrists together with my arms stretched fully and placed on the door above my head.  Mistress began to use bondage tape to tape my ankles together.  Then she had me turn around and present my wrists to her for the same reason.  Once my wrists and ankles were bound together, I was again turned to face the door and pressed against, while Mistress put a ball gag in mouth and securely fastened it to my head. 

I began to get a little nervous about what might be my fate.  Was this the time that Mistress felt that a good hard maintenance spanking was in order?  Was it going to hurt so much that Mistress felt like she need the ball gag, even though we were alone in the house?  I was pretty certain  that with the way I restrained and the way I was positioned, facing and pressed against the closed door,  that I was about to receive a severe punishment.  For what?  I didn't know, but there doesn't really need to be reason, now does there?

I was left in that position while Mistress attended to something else.  I couldn't tell what she was doing but being bound in that position.  I was certain that I was merely waiting to be punished severely.  That Mistress was in a particularly sadistic mood and wanted to see me suffer from infliction of a little bit of pain.  (Mistress a little sadistic streak in her.  Nothing serious, but she can genuinely get off by watching me accept a little pain from her).  Still facing the door, my cock still hard as rock for the delicious mixture of anticipation and fear, I felt one hand on my as and one wrap around my cock.  She fondled me for a minute or so then turned me around so my back was against the door.  I felt lube being applied to my cock and then something being pressed onto it.  At first I was certain that Mistress was placing my cock sleeve on me so that she could get a good fucking.  I soon realizes that it was Mistress herself.  She had removed her pj's and panties and was sliding her pussy up and down on my hardness.  It didn't take long at all before I was on the edge and told her so.  She immediately removed herself, quickly turned me around, pressed the front of body to the closed door and proceeded to paddle my ass with her bare hand for not being able to control my cock better.  Then she turned me around and climbed right back on.  Again, same result, quickly brought to the edge, a quick warning that I was about to cum and another turn at facing the door and receiving 5 -10 rapid, firm spanks.  Mistress turned me again, mounted me again and this time, before I could get near the edge, she stopped and simply said ........... "that's what your wearing under clothes today.  Now get dressed."  She removed the bondage tape from my wrists and ankles and pointed to the closet ordering me to get dressed.  Then she turned on her heels and walked to the bedroom door, smiling at me and kissing me on the cheek on the way.

The afterglow

This is not an actual picture of us this morning, but it very well could've been.   

 

*** picture removed to comply with Blogger's new rules ***

Mistress and I were cuddling in bed.  I was naked, she was still in her jammies.  She was bring me up to speed on all the activities in our regular suburban existence.  Then, she decided she wanted to have and orgasm.  Not surprisingly, I had an erection.  Mistress got up to go to the bathroom and when she returned, she was wearing only her pj tops and was naked on the bottom.  She climbed back into bed and immediately straddled my body and slowly lowered herself onto me and inside of her.  She was rocking back and forth and was got herself right to the very edge of her own orgasm when I informed her that I was right at the edge and that seeing her actually have an orgasm would send me over the edge.  She informed me that I would NOT be cumming this morning, even a ruined orgasm.  She was forced to stop right as we was about to orgasm.  GUH!

 

She hopped off of me and retrieved her favorite vibrator and climbed right back on top of me.  I didn't take long and she had a really good orgasm.  I felt terrible that my inability to avoid orgasm cause her to have to stop.  I really do hate that.  I want to be the kind of dependable lover she can always count on.

 

Coincidently, we were I this very same position, doing the very same thing while she was recovering for her orgasm.  So as to not leave any doubt, I did not have an orgasm, which is how Mistress wanted it.  As such, it is exactly what I wanted too.

 

I love you Mistress!

Objectification. It's the little things

I was in the shower this morning getting ready to go to work.  Mistress returned from taking the kids to school and stood in the entry to the shower to tell me a story she had just heard on the radio about a cat that was thought to be dead, was buried, then clawed it's way out of the grave and is alive.  It was an interesting story.

While I was washing myself and rinsing my hair under the warm water, she was looking at me in a way that made me feel she really enjoyed what she was seeing.  When we were through talking about the cat story, she reached for a small wash cloth and placed it on the floor of the shower.  She told me put some soap in my hand and then told me to kneel on the small cloth.  I was instructed to masturbate for her.  I was not erect when I was given these instructions but started to masturbate anyway.  She likes to have me masturbate for her, I think partly because she just likes to watch and partly because she likes to allow me to because I no longer am able to masturbate like i did before we entered this glorious life that we lead. 

She said "I don't want to watch you stroke a limp cock.  Get it hard for me."  Even though i was limp, I was at the edge of orgasm.  She didn't care, and repeated her instruction to get it hard.  It was very much like what is expected in a "Devotional Sex" relationship where the man (knight) is expected to reveal his penis and then become erect when the woman (Princess) utters the word "present".  My erection was on it's way, albeit slower than either of us wanted.  The moment she raised an eyebrow as if to project that failure to become erect immediately would result in disappointment, I became hard as a rock!  This pleased Mistress to no end and as such, she lifted the pajama top she was wearing to reveal her breasts and torso and moved toward where I was kneeling, and offered them to me to worship.  I so much love to worship Mistress' breasts and tummy, and especially that part between her belly button and her, um, promised land.  After only a few minutes, she told me to stop, finish my shower and then get ready for work.  She told me (for the 3rd day in a row) to just dress normal under my clothes today.  Since starting our FLM, there has never been a 3rd day in a row that Mistress has instructed me not to wear something.  It's rarely ever 2 days in a row for that matter. 

Did I feel objectified by Mistress during this impromptu little scene?  Yes I did.  Did I enjoy being objectified by Mistress?  YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT I DID!  There is hardly anything I enjoy more than performing sexually for Mistress' viewing pleasure.  I just love it when she tells me to do it, whether it is masturbating while she watches or showing her how I fuck my self with the dildo she has for me.  When it is not something planned like this morning, it is especially rewarding.

Thank you Mistress!

Unexpected but very welcomed

On Friday morning, I was waiting naked in my usual spot for Mistress to return from taking the kids to school.  Being able to greet her naked when she walks in the door is one of those simple little pleasures that mean the world to me.  I am grateful for being able to frequently do that during the school year.  I will sometimes daydream about it being this way at all times once we are empty-nesters ... someday.

She walked in the door and as usual said "hello there naked boy" and came over and held me close.  While we were hugging and I was pressing myself against (because she allows me to do that), she said "we need to trim your body hair.  Come with me".  With that she led me into the bathroom and instructed me to retrieve the clippers and get them set up.  She took me into our walk-in shower and proceeded to trim (very closely) on my entire body.  This process usually take about 10 minutes, not because I am that particularly hairy (she might disagree) but more because Mistress likes to do nice job.  It's a wonderful feeling to be required to "stand still" and be naked while Mistress attends to my body, even if it is for a trim. 

When we were done, I was cleaning up the hair from the shower floor (wasn't too much) and putting away the clippers and whatnot, Mistress was watching me intently.  A quick rinse in the shower followed and when I emerged, Mistress wanted to touch me.  Yummy.  I love it when Mistress touches me but I especially do when she is feeling amorous and frisky.  I love how she holds my ass cheeks open and reminds me that it is hers.  I love it how she will tease me unmerciful by moving her hands all over my body but avoiding my cock and balls.  On this morning however, she didn't avoid anything.  She had me sufficiently teased and edged in no time.  She'd bring me to the edge and then while I'm teetering on it, she tell me that I had better not cum.  Then she'll stop for a moment and do it again.  All this was happening while we were standing in the middle of the bathroom, in front of the mirror while she was having me look at what she was doing to me.  This process repeated six or seven times and in the mirror, I was able to see the ledge on the edge of our big tub where just 5 or 6 days earlier, Mistress had called me into the bathroom while she was in the tub.  She had me bring my phone to her.  On that ledge I was told to stand facing her, spread my legs as far as need to straddled that end of the tub, and then masturbate for her viewing pleasure while she bathed, shaved her legs and shaved her pussy.  Seeing the spot in the mirror brought my mind to what an incredible thing that was.  All this reminiscing was happening while Mistress was edging me mercilessly.  I was right on the verge, dangerously so and urgently I let Mistress know i was there.  She didn't stop.  I tried to wriggle away to avoid cumming without permission but she ordered me to not move.  She continued despite my pleas to stop or "I will come".  From experience I knew that Mistress had every intention of ruining my orgasm right then and so i asked her permission to ejaculate.  She didn't say a word but it was obvious that I was at the point of no return when Mistress abruptly stopped stroking me and simple, and calmly said "yes, you may ejaculate if you are able", and then starting to rub my ass and hole.  Within 10 seconds, my ejaculation was pouring out of me and on to the floor where I stood. 

Once all the cum stopped draining from my needy cock, Mistress removed her hands from my body, kissed me tenderly on the cheek and said "clean up your little mess and get dressed for work".  I said yes Mistress, thank You Mistress and went to retrieve a towel and some wet wipes while she walked out of the room.  With all the talk recently about cum eating, I paused for a moment and wondered how it would feel if my instructions were to eat my cum.  It was only a second and I was glad those weren't my instructions.  I cleaned up the mess on the floor, went into the kitchen where Mistress was and thanked her for my ruined orgasm, for the body maintenance and for loving me like she does.

It was a good morning. 

Orgasms ... and the lack thereof

I will start this post off by saying two things ....  1.  I haven't had a full orgasm since October of last year, with only 3 ruined orgasms since;  and  2.  I am not at all complaining about that fact.

In fact, after our latest incredibly sexy session

(link to it here:  http://subhubphx.blogspot.com/2015/01/i-was-good-boy.html)

while I was telling Mistress K. thank you and that we had been to a couple places together that we hadn't been to before, I made the comment that although my orgasms are now few and far between during the past 18 months or so, the sex I have been lucky enough to be allowed to have has been beyond incredible.  I've been thinking about this ever since we discussed it.  Thinking about how unlikely it is that I would ever be able to explain to someone outside the realm of understanding the basic dynamics of a FLM, what an incredible and sexually satisfying ride it has been.  They'd never believe it .... because they wouldn't be able to.  My beautiful, skilled Mistress Wife seems to know exactly when her devoted, submissive husband should be allowed (or required) to orgasm, be it ruined or full.  In fact, Mistress K. was so in tuned to having conditioned me to restricted orgasm that when we were in the hottest part of our recent incredible sex, Mistress warned me that she was going to ruin me that day.  there was no asking, no negotiating, just a statement of fact from my Mistress of how my sex was going to conclude.

 

Have I mentioned before that I love ruined orgasms?  yeah, I'm pretty sure I have.

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I guess to illustrate my feelings about this, here I am writing a post about how my orgasms are so few and far between .... and .... I'm hard as a rock.  Makes me really want to ................

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Or ........

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It's a little more incredible and less satisfying of a ruined orgasm when Mistress takes me there with ZERO direct stimulation to my penis.  I wonder what it's like to entirely own the sex of someone that you love and lust for so deeply.  I'm hoping it's as incredible as having someone that you love and lust for deeply, owning it completely.

I love you Mistress.

I was a good boy

You may remember that Mistress had said that I was due to be rewarded for some exceptionally good behavior recently.  Well, the reward came in the form of Friday morning alone time .... and it was memorable.  On this incredible morning, we would venture into areas sexually that we hadn't necessarily been before, and in my mind, we officially and lovingly consummated our collaring ceremony.  In this post I will not go into as much detail about what we did sexually as I usually do, because I'm trying to make my posts shorter and easier to consume. 

One of the things we did was what a mounted to a simulated cuck session.  Mistress was laying on her back and was enjoying my worshipping of her when all of a sudden she told me to "go get something to put in (her) pussy".  I returned with one of our recently purchased suction cup dildos.  She did something she has never done before .... without hesitation she said "suck it to get it wet".  Without hesitation, I did what I was told.  After using the dildo on her and licking her for a while, she stopped and told me to get the other suction cup dildo and attach it to the cabinet in the kitchen so she could fuck it.  Again, I did as I was told when she told me to lubricate this dildo with my mouth while it was attached to the cabinet, waiting for Mistress' pussy to come and swallow it.  Mistress eased herself back to it and I guided this "other" cock into her while she let out a soft moan.  Mistress then instructed me to lay underneath her so I could suck her breasts while she was fucking the wall.  Then she had me slide down to her pussy.  She wanted me to lick her clitoris while she was being filled put there was no way to get my head in there to do that.   Instead, she had me rub her clit with my fingers while she found her way to a massive orgasm.  While laying on the ground under her, assisting her in her orgasm, she would expertly touch my body everywhere except my cock and ball, which where aching so badly to be touched. 

When she recovered from her orgasm, she simply said "put my strap-on on me".   Which I did in rapid fashion.  With her harness in place, she laid on her back and simply said  .... "come sit on my cock".  It was amazing. I lowered myself onto it and just rocked myself for what seemed like forever.  I was looking into her eyes and she was looking right back.  I was mesmerized.  She said "you know I am going to ruin you today".  I was so much in love, so much in sub space and so much appreciative of being married to and the submissive of this gorgeous woman.  I didn't want the moment to end, but of course it did eventually. 

Before it did, Mistress turned me onto my fuck, reinserted her cock into me and started stroking my cock to cause the ruined orgasm to happen.  It was amazing.  I was brought right to the very edge of orgasm and she abandoned all stimulation.  At first I thought that maybe I wasn't close enough to the edge .... but then I thought about what was happening to me (looking at Mistress above my open and spread legs, with her cock in me) and in no time, what felt like tons of semen started pumping out of me and onto my belly.

Like I said it was an incredible, intimate session.  In our afterglow, I mentioned to Mistress that I was taking to depths of submission that I had never been to before, and that we had dome some things that we had never done before.  Her having me lubricate her rubber cock by sucking it and her basically cucking me with the nice suction cup dildo lover of hers.  After I was all dressed and on my way to the office to start my business day, I actually used the word with Mistress  I said "you cucked me in there with that dildo".  She was still laying in bed and said simply while smiling ... "yeah, I did, didn't I?  Have a nice day at work".  A look of cautious wonder came over my face as I smiled, kissed her goodbye and walked to my car.  Is she ..........?  Nah.

Wear your plug today

Mistress' bestie arrived last night and they spent plenty of time cathcing up, giggling and just having plain old fun.  They just left to go to an overnight activity that will keep us apart until tomorrow night.  Booo!  Mistress' friend that arrived in town is the other other person that knows all about our FLM.  There was no conversation about it that included me and frankly I am not aware that they even talked about it last night.  This morning there was a couple of casual remarks in direct reference to my being controlled by Mistress K. with her friend and they seemed competely natural and without any embarrasement...on anyone's part.  I don't know if there will be any conversation (or ?) or not once they return and before her friend leaves to go back home or not.  I will of course leave that entirely up to Mistress K.  I am prepared to demonstrate of role in our marriage in any way (subtle or otherwise) that Mistress K. might deem appropriate (or not).

This morning, after i got out of the shower and before they left, Mistress came into the closet where I was waiting for her, naked and in anticipation of her instructions on what to wear under my clothes today.  She seemed unsure about what she wanted me to wear and asked me directly what is most comfortable to wear under my jeans.  I'll give you two guesses as to what I told her, but you'll only need one.  My glass plug.  She agreed and ordered me to wear the plug.  yay! 

With that she stood up and reached for the lube and grabbed my flaccid cock and ordered it to get hard ... IMMEDIATELY.  I don't need to be told twice and in a matter of seconds it was hard.  She put lube in her hand and started stroking me.  She then looked me in the eye and apologized for not having edged me in quite some time.  Once i got close to orgasm and told her so, she held her hand firm and ordered me to fuck her hand.  She likes to watch he stand there and thrust into her slippery hand.  It was amazing as she continued to hold me at the edge for quite a while before she decided it was time to stop.  I have to admit that it was rather exciting to know that she was doing that to me with her friend in the guest room sleeping.  Once she was done, she told me to put my plug in and gave me an added bonus by standing there to watch while i put one foot up on a stool, bent over and worked the plug into my ass.  She smiled and said, "you enjoy putting things in your ass while I watch, don't you"?  All I could do was whimper a "yes I do Mistress".  My goal is to wear my plug the entire 30 hours or so before i see her again.  We'll see how that goes.

I can't wait till she gets home.

Oh what a night!

When I came home from work last night, I intended to pour myself a cocktail and settle in for a nice, relaxing Friday night.  Mistress K. had other ideas about how my night was going to go. 

She said, "Here's what you will be doing tonight" .....................  She went on to explain how I was going to be her driver and deliver her to a friends house because there was going to be several women there for "happy hour", and she had decided she was going.  Then she said that after I delivered her to her party, I would then be gathering and shuttling kids to place across town for them to have an evening for themselves.  The kids would be at this place until 10pm, at which point they would be picked up and returned by the parents of one of the other kids.  After delivering the kids, I was return home and prepare myself for the return of Mistress from the party at around 8pm. After properly preparing myself, I was to drive to the party, naked under my loose clothes, and pick her up.  She would have been drinking and would be in no condition to drive.  By prepare myself, she meant be ready (and more importantly able) to give her multiple orgasms that evening.  I also knew it meant that I must be clean, clean-smelling, clean-shaved (face, cock, balls and ass) and to be prepared for whatever sexual adventure Mistress K. was in the mood for when I came to pick her up from the party. 

By this time, was fully immersed in subspace.  The very idea that I was to do these tasks, then to prepare myself like a slut-in-waiting for Mistress to return from drinking with her friends, and to be prepared for sexually pleasuring her in a yet-to-be-determined fashion, was the reason why I was in subspace. 

I'm not going to go into the intimate details of our play last evening because I don't want to cheapen how emotionally important it was to us.  I will tell you that I have never been as deep in subspace, as deep in love and as much in awe of the Goddess that owns me as I was last night.

However, the second we walked into the empty house and the second I was in my required naked condition, and present before Mistress K., she did feel the overwhelming desire to do this to me .............

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The stated reason she did this to me was "because I want to.  Because at this moment, it brings me pleasure to she you be inflicted with a little pain"

She used someone she has never used on me before for a spanking.  This wooden spoon ........

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She's used a wooden spoon on me before.  But not this particular wooden spoon.  And it hurt like FUCK!!!  I don't if it was the spoon itself, or more the fact that Mistress K. was a little drunk and therefore a tiny bit sadistic, but it hurt like FUCK!  The more I whimpered, the more pleasure she was getting from what she was doing.  The picture doesn't show it, but the marks she was leaving were the kind that red all around and white in the middle.  You know, the kind that really, really hurt?

What an incredible night.  The amount of orgasms obtained were plenty.  The actual amount unknown for Mistress.  For me, it was zero.  I thoroughly enjoyed being the one that was expected to be sex ready when Mistress came home from drinking with friends.  I enjoyed how it made me feel like her slut-in-waiting.  After it was all over and it was time for bed, I asked Mistress if I could keep wearing my butt plug overnight while I slept.  She said yes.  I was hopeful that it would inspire vivid sex dreams ... I wasn't at all disappointed.  I'll try and post about some of those later.

Edged in the closet

Mistress called me into the closet to try on some pants that needed to be hemmed.  I was wearing shorts and a t shirt because we are waiting for the house cleaner to arrive any minute and Mistress told that she wanted me clothed for that reason.  In the closet however, I lowered my shorts in order to try on the pants.  Since they needed to be hemmed, Mistress was kneeling at my feet, adjusting the length of the pants for hemming.  Looking down, I was fantasizing about her being in that position, naked, with her hands tied behind her back waiting for me to fuck her mouth.  A boy can fantasize right?  Still kneeling, she held the length of the pants in place and told me to take them off, leaving me naked from the waist down.

My now hardening cock was bobbing right in front of her face and as a playful gesture, Mistress took it into her mouth and gently bit down on the head for a moment, then releases it.  I moaned.............
She stood and was rubbing my cock and balls as I started nuzzling her neck.  mmmmmm, I love to nuzzle her neck.  With one foot one the ground, I put my other foot on the bench we have in the closet, pulled up the back of her robe and started grinding my now rock hard cock against her thong covered ass.  God she was gorgeous. 

She quickly got behind me while I still had my foot up and she started rubbing my cock and balls from behind and playfully swatting my bare bottom.  She stopped and told me not to move.  She left the closet and returned with lube in her hand and resumed the same position, this time smearing lube all over my cock and balls.  She asked if we had "48's" left to attend to.  I said "NO", with a great deal of pride.  She started stroking my cock and of course, after having fantasized about temporarily controlling her sexually, I was already horny as fuck.  I got to the edge of orgasm waaaay to fast for Mistress' liking and she wondered out loud if her cock therapy training was having any effect.  It's been at lease 5 since our last therapy session so may maybe not .......

In any event, I was this close to cumming.  I was teetering on the edge and slight breeze in a different direction across my butt could've sent over the edge.  Mistress, already annoyed at the rapid pace with which I reached the edge, said in no uncertain terms ..... "you had better not cum!"  Holy shit ..... I didn't, but I was close.  She left the closet without saying a word and called me to the kitchen to help her gather some dishes.

Shortly, she and I will be visiting a new doctor for me.  I've had the same doctor for 15 years and because of things all related to politics, I now have to choose a new doctor.  As I was gathering the dishes, the thought occurred to me so I asked her,  "are we going to reveal the nature of our relationship to the new doctor?"  No, said Mistress.  OK, said I.  I do want her to be present for my examinations though.  We'll see how that works out.

Summoned to the bedroom

Wow, 3 posts in one day.  A new record for me I think!

While generating my first post here today, I was summoned to the bedroom by Mistress K.  Right after she summoned me, she laughingly asked if that sent a shiver down my spine, not knowing why I was being summoned.  I admitted that it did given one the topics we had discussed the night before about punishments.

I walk into the room and there she is, naked and laying on the bed.  her beautiful red hair framing her beautiful face and she held out her hands, inviting me onto the bed with her.  It was beautiful.  She rolled over onto her tummy and had me worship her body with those little kisses and gentle bites that she likes.   She forbade me from putting my mouth directly on her pussy or bottom hole to which i whimpered .... "oh pleeeeease can I?"  She said no.  When Mistress doesn't feel clean there, she will not let me get anywhere near it.  I wish she would.  But, I digress.

After 10 minutes or so of Mistress body worship, she rolled back over onto her back, spread her legs and invited in between her legs.  Not to enter her mind you, but to tell me the reason she summoned me.  She called it cock therapy. Cock therapy?  What is cock therapy, I asked?  She describe cock therapy as something we would be doing in an attempt to train me to not be so eager to cum the minute i am inside her.  During cock therapy Mistress choose a number.  Today that number was 30.  I was to lubricate my cock and insert it into her yumminess and then I was to count the successive thrusts I could go without having to stop in order to avoid an orgasm.  Whatever that number would be, would be the amount of punishment spankings I would receive.  Obviously the goal being to train me to be able to thrust into Mistress more each time in order to avoid a stinging, burning red ass.  I made it to 6 and had to stop.  I was so horny after being away from Mistress for almost 6 days, then being denied any sexual attention upon my return home, then being allowed to worship Mistress's body just moments before.  So the number of punishment spanks was set at 24. 

Mistress then told me to see how well I would be able to do while wearing pinky (our cock sleeve).  I thought to myself OMG, I am so horny that I might just cum putting the cock sleeve on.  I was able to get 32 thrusts before i was certain that was going to cum.  We were in the missionary position and Mistress was really moaning and pulling me into her by my butt and it was an incredibly beautiful thing to see.  I was amazed that I was able to make it to 32 given the fact that i can almost come by simply watching her in the throes of sexual pleasure.

"Get my vibrator" Mistress said.  I immediately got it, turned it on and handed it to her.  She took it rolled one leg to the side exposing her beautiful pussy to me and i watched as she nestled in just the right spot on her clitoris.  "Get inside me.  I want to cum with you  inside me", she said.  I slide my sleeve covered cock inside of her and watched as she began to each orgasm.  Watching Mistress orgasm is about the most incredibly beautiful thing there is for me and right when she was about to get there she told me to start thrusting.  It was only a few thrusts before I knew I was about to ejaculate so I pulled out .... right when she started her orgasm.  needless to say she was none too happy and when she was done and had gathered herself she said "that will be 10 more swats for pulling out when you did.  And they are going "GOOD ONES"!.  All I could do was apologize and acknowledge the added 10 lashes. 

She got off the bed and had me bend over the edge and she gave me my 24 spanks for the cock therapy.  Then 10 gave 10 more that were harder than the first 24.  When she was done, she tossed the pink leather paddle on the bed, walked toward the bathroom and told me to cleanup.

I am co thankful that we will be on a training program to help with staying power.  I love this woman!!!

I didn't mean to cum

Sorry everyone.  I've been negligent in posting and replying this week.  it's just been one of the weeks in the vanilla part of life.  I won't bore you with the details, but suffice it to say it's kept me away from blog land.

On Tuesday morning, right after I wrote my previous post "punished", I got into the shower the minute Mistress returned from taking the kids to school.  Before getting in, she let me stand before her, kiss her neck and rub my nakedness up and down on her.  I got rock hard in 2.3 seconds!  I was kind of in a hurry so I kissed her and rushed into the shower.  While I was in the shower, Mistress suddenly appeared.  Our shower is big, has three shower-heads and is one of those walk-in showers.  It could hold four people at once without a problem.   On those occasion when does appear, she will sometimes just watch me shower, or shave my cock, balls and ass, or sometimes she will stand and watch while I bring myself to the edge repeatedly for her viewing enjoyment.  other times, like today, she has a handful of lube and like to call me over, stand at attention and stroke my cock, teasing me to the edge and then denying me.  This is what she did that morning. 

It was awesome.  She was stroking my cock, edging me, stopping, then edging me again.  While stroking she told me to squat, without letting go of my cock.  She never did that before and while lowering myself, my balls became very exposed.  She was still stroking my cock and with her free hand, she cupped my balls so tenderly.  In a nano-second I was about to cum and told her and she immediately let go .... but it was to late.  I was having a ruined orgasm.  A small amount of semen dribbled and on to the shower floor.

She looked at me with disappointed then angry eyes.  I had just ejaculated without permission.  I had just had an orgasm, albeit it a ruined orgasm, without her permission.  I was mortified.  I didn't know what to do.  She then grabbed my cock again, starting stroking it some more and immediately induced two more ruined orgasms.

She stopped, silently stood and said she was not very happy with me for what I had just done.  I begged with her to understand that the combination of being stroked by her while squatting low to the floor, and then her soft, beautiful surprisingly cupping my balls was just something I couldn't control.  I begged her to understand.  She stood there above, me still squatting, semen pooled on the shower floor below my throbbing cock and balls.  She told me to stand and although she seemed to have tempered her anger/disappointment some, she did inform that was going to punished for what just happened.  She said it didn't matter that she didn't stop quick enough, it was up to me to be sure that I never steal an orgasm, ruined or otherwise from her again, and that allowing myself to ejaculate without her permission would not be tolerated.  She told me to clean the mess on the floor and walked off.

After my shower, I shaved and finished getting ready for work.  I went to her naked, as I do every morning, to inform her that I was ready to get dressed.  She was seated at the computer doing some work and she immediately stood up and led me into the closet.  On the way she informed that she was going to administer my spanking right then.  Holy shit I thought.  Mistress has been especially harsh with spankings lately and I thought I was going to be in for it this coming.  I mean after all, stealing an orgasm and ejaculating without permission is a serious offense in our marriage.  She had me get on my hands and knees and immediately began to punish me with her pink leather paddle.  It hurt on my freshly bathed, naked bottom.  I was absolutely certain this as going to be the time Mistress really laid into me with her paddle.  She gave several swats and then 5 or really hard ones and then abruptly stopped, walked over to me, told me she was done and had me hug her while kneeling naked and red-assed before her, for aftercare.

Maybe she had sympathy for me because I hardly ever ejaculate while being teased and denied or edged.  Maybe she knew is was running late for an appointment (I actually was), or maybe it was something else but Mistress was surprisingly lenient.  She handed me a pair of panties that she had selected and told me to get dressed for work.  She put her paddle away in her drawer and left the closet.  Before I could get dressed, I had to get a hand towel to dry myself off with.  It was warm in there.  As walked out the door, I apologized profusely for my infractions and thank her for being lenient in my punishment.  She just looked at me, then kissed me goodbye.

Something New

Mistress has been dealing with her monthly visitor for that past couple of days.  Although she remains cheerful and as lovely as ever when this occurs monthly, it is not uncommon for her to lack sexual interest in general during this time. Yesterday, I walked up to her, grabbed her, was kissing her neck, grinding my hard cock against her and was being a rather needy, horny slave of a husband at that moment and she would have none of it.  She pushed me away and said "get away from me.  Not now".  Up to 5 minutes ago, that was indicative of her sex mood the past few days.

5 minutes ago she called me into the bathroom and locked the door behind me.  She had lube in hand.  She pulled my shorts to the floor and started rubbing my flaccid but rapidly hardening cock.  She made me watch it all in the mirror and stare at myself being stroked while she gave me my instructions for this Sunday.  Once she told me what I needed to accomplish today, she said that if I failed that she would force me to have several orgasms today, and that they wouldn't be the pleasant kind.  Whispering in my ear while stroking my cock she asked me "do you understand?"  I replied with a panting "yes Mistress". 

She immediately stopped, and said "good, then we are clear".  Go clean yourself up and walked away to the sink to clean the lube off her hands.  I reminded her too that the 48 hours would expire this afternoon and she said we wold be taking care of that punishment this evening, after the expiration of the 48 hours.  I don't know if that means another infraction for me because it will be past the 48 hours, or if she is using her right to change that rule.  I'm certain I will find out.