Are we there already?

Are we at that inevitable point in our relationship, where Mistress's pleasure naturally would/should include another man's cock?  Maybe one that isn't prone to erupt in seconds because it has been constantly teased and denied, for weeks on end, like mine can be?  Is it that time in our relationship already?  Is it inevitable?  Am I prepared?

Each of us has our own little worlds that we live in.  We want those worlds to be safe, warm and full of love.  My love for Mistress K. is undeniable and as deep as anything I know and feel.  I want to bring her pleasure in life.  I want for her to have access to and the ability to enjoy, as much pleasure in life as possible.  Not just sexual pleasures, but every pleasure that is available to her.  I trust Mistress K. to be a very good arbiter of common sense when it comes to determining which pleasures she can safely indulge in, and which ones she can't.  For example, there is pleasure in cake and pie.  Mistress K., I suppose, could decide that because eating cake and pie is indeed a pleasure, and because she is in charge of determining what pleasures she can indulge in, she can eat cake and pie as much as she wants without ramifications.  Right?  Of course not, and she, like any rational person, knows that. 

What about sex?  Ah, now that's a different story, right?  I mean after all, Mistress K. is among a select group of people in this world.  Like relatively few others, she is someone that lovingly owns the heart, mind and body of someone else, which of course means that she could have any kind of sex, anytime she wants, any way she wants, simply because she wants to.  She decides the if, the when, the how of sex.  She also is the one that decides the who.  How great is that? 

Like any other group of people, those of us the FLR/FLM world are sometimes subject to what is claimed to be "normal".  Newbies starting out are worried about whether or not they are "doing it right".  Experienced couples ask and are asked questions all the time, about "is it normal for us to do this, or normal to do that ....?"  Personally, I've never been a fan of worrying about where any of us actually do or should "fit in".  I get a bit weary at the natural inclination of people (me included) to constantly try to define everything into narrow definitions.  There are even those that will give unsolicited opinions of how you/we are doing it right or doing it wrong.  I have a commenter who is an anonymous "Mistress".  She will occasionally comment or email me to let me know that until Mistress K. requires me to consume my own cum, we really don't have a legitimate FLM because, well, you know, it's what everyone does in an FLM.  Although she's adamant about, she's pleasant enough and even humorous about it that I really can't take offence to it.  Besides, even if I did, unless a commenter is blatantly, obviously and needlessly offensive, I'll always leave their comments in place.  Thankfully, Mistress K. and I don't feel the need to allow anyone outside of our deep love for each other, to define the parameters that love.

Even though some things are never "always required" to define the kind of relationship Mistress K. and I have, there are undeniable commonalities to a D/s relationship.  Especially a Female Led D/s relationship.  Of course, one of those "not uncommon" things is for the Dominant Female to take on a male lover .....  be it a full-on cuckold relationship, with humiliation, forced bi and other things that serve to degrade and humiliate the submissive male;    or Her taking a random, nameless, faceless male, human sex toy, it's obviously not an uncommon thing in a FLM/FLR. 

That being said, there are many, many monogamous FLM's, and my marriage is one of them.  Neither Mistress K. nor I have previously expressed a desire in the past for a separate male lover to sexually service Mistress K.  We are both very, very protective of the core elements of our love, and would never do anything to risk that.  It's a key reason why we never actually did engage I a threesome with other women when we had the chances in the past.  Safeguarding our love. 

One of the effects on me that has evolved from our FLM is that is I get an ENORMOUS amount of joy and pleasure from seeing Mistress K. having intense sexual pleasure and orgasm.  It is a genuine thrill for me.  It really is.  I've even been able to have a ruined orgasm by simply watching my beloved wife having a orgasm.  I am also so grateful that Mistress allows me to see her have her orgasms.  I know that isn't always the case for many submissive husbands.  Witnessing her having an orgasm will usually put me into immediate and deep subspace.  Our evolution has brought me to now get as much sexual pleasure from her orgasms, as I could get from having one on my own.  It is just that much of a joy to be a part of and to witness my beloved Wife having such pleasure. 

One of the realities of a FLM, is daily teasing/edging, followed by orgasm denial. For many couples, it's a key component in their recipe for happiness.  I know it is in mine.  As such, the male is in a nearl constant state of arousal, which means that he often a hair trigger penis, and can usually come in a matter of seconds when his penis is pressed into service (pun intended).  I'm sure there are some men out there than can do it, ..... that can go from a teased/denied, constant state of edge-of-orgasm arousal, to a porn-star like man that can fuck as long as she wants, and cum on command.  For the rest of us mortal humans, that kind of thing is usually not possible. 

There are times when suddenly Mistress feels the desire to be fucked, good, hard and for as long as she wants. When the times comes, and because of my constant state of arousal, it usually requires some numbing cream, a cock sleeve and waiting time for the cream to numb the cock. Should she have to be concerned about her sub cumming without permission, or worse, having to stop altogether to avoid ejaculation? This doesn't seem fair for any Mistress not to have a hard cock available to fuck her like she wants.

Last night I was having many random, crazy dreams.  In one of them, Mistress K. was getting fucked by another man, she was loving every second of it.  Not only that, I was there, naked, sitting behind her, holding her legs apart.  Not only that, I helped this strange man him fuck my wife by grabbing and holding his cock, and guiding it into her pussy, then watched as he brought intense pleasure from being fucked long and hard.  (In my dream, he didn't have a big, giant cock like that depicted in the picture below, but there are only so many pictures of husbands holding their wife's legs apart so she can fucked, and except for the giant cock, it's pretty much how I remember the scene in my slumbering head. * smile)

Not only that, when recalling that portion of the dream, I got a huge erection, and then I got another huge erection telling Mistress K. about it.  Wait, what?  Did I just say that?  This is something new.

How could this be?  The last time I had a sex dream that included any other man, it caused me to wake up in a panic.  It was one of those .... "oh good, it was only a dream, but I still need some reassurance from you right now" kind of dreams.  And in this particular dream, all she did was barely handle a guy's cock that happened to be lying next to us in bed, for some reason. 

With these things in mind and being a bit jealous by nature, how could I go from near panic about a dream where Mistress K. briefly touches another man's cock, to waking up as hard as a rock and very  aroused because another man fucked her?  How could this be?  I'd say the biggest difference between the two "mind-fuck" dreams, was that the man in my latest dream was merely a faceless, nameless human sex toy.  There was no intimacy between him and my Mistress.  No kissing, no typical cuckold fodder about how I was a useless man when it came to sex.  There was none of that.  He wasn't there to steal her, or replace me in her life in any way.  Mistress seemed very intent on making sure I knew that, during the dream.  In fact, there was a great deal of gratitude and intimacy that was directed solely at me while she was being well fucked by this other man. 

Are we there already?  Are we at that milepost on our journey?  Are we growing up?  Are we growing into our journey?  Oh boy ..........  What's next?

Early Christmas Present

I did some Christmas shopping yesterday.  While I was out I came across this .....

It was in a store that had upscale kitchen items and was in among many other wood utensils.  I bought it for Mistress, and not because she has a shortage of wooden utensils in the kitchen.  It was if it jumped out at me and said "hey buddy, you and I are going to get to know each other very well."  When I went to the counter to pay for it, the middle aged sales lady suggested that I buy the wood oil that is used to preserve it.  She said that after a lot of use in the kitchen, the wood can dry and crack from being used for cooking and washed so often.  I said  "no thanks ... it wasn't going to be used for cooking."  There was obvious innuendo (at least to me) and she smiled just a bit, looked at me for a second, smiled again and continued to ring up my purchase.  I think she had an idea but was simply too gracious to imply anything to a complete stranger.  I thought about telling her what it was going to be used for, but I too am gracious and wouldn't dream of imposing such information on an unsuspecting person.

I gave it Mistress K. immediately upon returning home.  It was a Christmas gift but I didn't want to have to explain to the kids why dad made such a big deal about giving mom a wooden spoon on Christmas morning.

Here is another view:

You'll notice it's curved.  Mistress gave it a "tender, light test run this morning" and was thrilled to discover that the curve of the spoon matched the curve of my behind nicely.  As such, this little gift of love that I gave to my Mistress can deliver two very distinct and different types of ouchy!  I already know from a different wooden spoon that we have that the back side of the curved delivers a concentrate amount of stingy ouchy at the point of impact. 

With the business of the season and other vanilla things taking so much of our waking hours recently, Mistress K. and I have had little time to be together in our natural state.  We both expressed how much we "missed each other" lately and can't wait for the hustle of the season to be over.

Merry Christmas and Happiest of Holidays to all of my dear friends I have made over the past few years.  I can't even begin to tell you how important each one of you is to me, even though we have never met. 

Blue Balls

 

It may sound crazy, but I have the epitome of aching blue balls and I love how it feels!  The dull ache that rests inside my pants is a constant reminder of the object of my emotional, spiritual and lustful desires.

 

On Friday I posted about how Mistress K. instructed me to masturbate to the edge every hour, on the hour, for the entire day.  Right up until bedtime.  I had no idea what, if anything would come of it in the sex play department but I found out as soon as we got into bed.  NOTHING!  Mistress wanted nothing more than for me to cuddle and nuzzle her while she fell quietly to sleep i our marital bed.  I asked if I could have relief then and she quietly said no.  "This is not the time .... now go to sleep "

 

Saturday was a day filled with busy family and parenting stuff, all day and night.  Apart from me walking over to her at various times during the day, to nuzzle in her neck and to tell her that I loved her, there was no physical interaction romantically or sexually.

 

Sunday?  Sunday?  Sunday was quite a bit different.  Mistress awoke about 7:45 in the morning.  When I heard her rise, I scurried to retrieve her coffee as I do every morning.  I handed it her and she was still very bleary eyed and sleepy.  Her long straight red hair was a disheveled tangled mess that half covered her face.  She was wearing her short little nightie that although isn't designed to be sexy but rather comfortable, I think it is sexy as hell.  I held her tight, kisses her face and neck and took in the body aroma that is uniquely her and declared my daily devotion to her.  She then hurried off to the restroom.

 

When she returned, she had shaken off the sleepiness and walked over to me sitting in the chair at the computer and began to kiss my neck.  She reached down and started to rub me through my shorts and gave me my instructions for the day.  She said "beginning at 8 this morning, you are to edge yourself every half hour for the entire day".  She grabbed my face, looked me in the eye and asked me if I understood my instructions.  I said "Yes maam".  "Good boy" and with that she kissed me softly then went to the kitchen to make breakfast for the kids.  She got 5 feet away then returned and said "oh, and you'll be wearing frilly panties all day".  She kissed me again and then left. 

 

EVERY HALF HOUR!!!!!  We went to bed at 10:30 that night.  Some quick math will tell that during the day on Sunday, I brought myself to the edge 29 times.  Yes .... 29 times.  She didn't come right out and say it, but she eluded to the fact that at the end of the day that I would be separated from the fluid that was gathering in my balls.  When we finally got into bed (she had to wake me up from the couch), she turned to me and started kissing me softly and saying what a good boy I was.  She started rubbing my soft cock and in no time i was all revved up in anticipation of, well, I didn't;t actually know, but i was certain it would be something.  Would she just drain me to ease the ache?  Would she stroke me until I couldn't hold it any longer and feign being disappointed that I came without permission?  I was pretty certain that she wasn't going to allow me to enter her because she knew that with all of that edging, I'd go off before I was able to get the whole head in. 

 

She stroked me to the edge 3 or 4 more times to the point i was begging her to allow me to ejaculate.  I wasn't asking to orgasm, I was begging to be drained.  She kissed me softly, held my face and quietly said no.  Now is not the time, and then rolled over and instructed me to cuddle her.  For the next 10 minutes I begged, whimpered, begged some more in desperate hope that she would acquiesce

and allow me to drain my balls.  She would have none of it and finally had to sternly tell me that if she had to say no one more time, I would be punished right then! 

 

Which brings us to today.  This morning, i was noticeably pouty about the fact that I was so frustrated about being denied the previous night.  She made a very subtle warning that this sort of behavior was not going to be tolerated ... at all!  I got the message real quick and apologized for being pouty.  A short time later, after bringing her a fresh cup of coffee and while she was facing the mirror putting on her makeup, I knelt behind her, slowly lifted her nightie and placed tender soft kisses on her gorgeous bottom and thanked her for her strength and for allowing me to be owned by her.  She informed that today I was to edge myself every 90 minutes throughout the day and then she handed me the panties that she wanted me to wear for the day.  I took the panties, said "Yes Mistress" and then thank her before leaving her to finish what she was doing.

 

Being in this state of unbelievably constant state of desire has allowed me to remember that it is not at all about my desire, or whether or not i think i should be allowed to cum, ruined or otherwise.  it is all about her and if having do this makes her happy, then it most certainly makes me happy. 

Punishment Spanking on my mind

Over the past few days, I've had punishment spankings on my mind.  Not fantasies (well not all fantasies), not questioning it use or importance in my life with Mistress K. (I never have a single doubt about), but more along the lines of how and in what context.

I told Mistress K. about a very short dream I had the other night that mostly included a spanking wall.  We were somewhere (I don't know where) and we were with people (I don't know who) that we were with in a banquet room (I don't know why) eating dinner or something at a table that probably sat 10.  The chair next to me was empty (Mistress K.'s seat I presume) but the rest of the table was full.  Oh, and I was naked and wearing a ball harness that is basically a Velcro secured piece of rubber that wraps around the base of my balls and separates them from the rest of my body.  Mistress will sometimes have me wear this under my clothes.  Also, it has a "D" Ring attached to it.  Even though I was naked, it didn't seem at all out of place.  I was engaged with everyone else at the table in witty banter when all of a sudden Mistress comes up to me, grabs me by the ear, pulls me to my feet and begins to scold me for something.  I don't what for though.  She is NOT happy (thank God it was just a dream).  She attached a leash to my balls harness and roughly pulls on it indicating that I should follow her.  She leads me into a room and on the far wall there are three hooks.  Two of them are high and have cuffs attached to them and the other on is the same height as my balls harness.

She leads me to this wall, still obviously not happy with me for some reason.  She secures my wrists in the cuffs and attaches them to the hooks in the wall.  It fully stretched my arms and body although my feet are still comfortably on the floor.  She attaches my balls harness tightly the third and by doing so, it pulls the entire front of my body flush and tight up against the wall.  I'm scared shitless.  Not because it appears that I am about to get a punishment but because she is obviously not happy with, I mean really, really not happy) and I don't know why.  Standing there, securely bound and pressed to the wall, she whispers behind me in an obviously angry voice .... This is going to test your boundaries, your devotion to our marriage and your courage.  With that she left the room, closing the door behind her, leaving me all alone in that position.  Then I WOKE UP!

When I woke up I was so relieved that it was a dream because I never, ever want for Mistress to be angry like that toward me.  I told her about it briefly and we haven't had any time alone to discuss it further other than for her to say "I like the sound of that wall".

Then, when browsing this morning, I came across this story from Femdomous:

http://www.femdomous.com/femdom-sex/one-orgasm-two-spankings

Take a moment and read it.  It's a fantasy site that has all kinds of Femdom stories, but I mostly like it because there is always a sexy drawing accompanying the story.  This story happened to be about what I believe to be the absolute worst kind of punishment spanking there.  The dreaded post-orgasm story.  If you are a submissive man, and have ever been required to an orgasm immediately preceding a harsh punishment spanking, you know what I am talking about.  It's the worst!

Mistress K. has done this to me on only 2 occasions in the past.  I can tell you I high degree of certainty that is never something I want to have happen to me again.  Did I mention it was awful?

Submissive men .... do what you are told and behave yourselves soyou can minimize the chances of this ever happening to you. 

Dominant Wives/Women  .... if you ever want to really emphasize the punishment part of a punishment spanking. this will do it.

I'm pretty sure that these two things are a primary reason that I have had spankings on my mind the last few days.  Oh, that and the fact that Mistress owes me 2 punishment spankings.

Milked .......

It was Monday, just like Mistress said it would be.  As I said in my previous post, I had no idea of anything other than Mistress intended to drain me of my semen.  The 9pm hour was approaching and the kids were finally in bed.  Mistress had mentioned earlier in the week that she wanted to trim my body hair.  She sent me to the bathroom and told me to prepare the clippers and myself for some grooming.  Standing naked in the shower, Mistress arrived and began the chore of grooming me.  She trimmed my body hair very, very close ... like using electric clippers without any guard close.  Afterward, I looked at myself I the mirror and I have to admit, I like what I saw.  I've never been one to want to be feminized but with that being said, it did make me feel a bit like a slut, which you may already know, I do enjoy.  Especially now ... on the cusp of being milked by my Mistress ....

(side bar  -  In the middle of writing this post, I received a call from Mistress with instructions to go to her throne in our bedroom, sit there, masturbate for one minute (and DO NOT COME of course), video it and send it to her.   Mission accomplished.

Back tour story.  Mistress instructed me to shower to remove any loose hair.  In the shower I put a fresh shave on the area of my body that is owned by her.  I mean after all, if she was going to be paying close attention to that part of my body, it should at least e freshly groomed as well. When I emerged from the bathroom, Mistress instructed me to get a towel.  She laid it our on the floor at the foot of our bed, then disappeared into our closet telling me lie face up on the towel.  The Aneros milking tool was lying nearby. 

When she returned, she placed a blindfold on me and thus began the process of my milking.

It became clear early on that Mistress intended for this to be a romantic event and proceeded to subject my naked body to all sorts of sensation.  There was tickling, biting, scratching, tender kisses, soft tongue gentle hands and over my body.  Mistress even honored me by taking my cock into her Goddess mouth and pleasure me for several minutes that way.  I always consider it an incredible honor when Mistress will place her mouth anywhere on my body, and especially so when she takes my cock in her mouth.  Yummy. 

Mistress then straightened my left leg fully and secured my left ankle to the bed.  Then, she bound my wrists together and stretched them fully and secured them as well, leaving me fully stretched.  My right leg was left unsecured.  I was to discover shortly that she left it unsecured on purpose in order to be able to raise that leg and paddle my bottom from time to time, which she did several times.  On one occasion, she raised my leg and was paddling me and struck my balls.  It hurt!  She didn't seem to mind and continued with her procedure.  She also produced our flogger and proceeded to flog my exposed, vulnerable body all over, included my now aching balls.  Mistress hadn't shown much interest in the past for CBT but on this occasion seemed to enjoy the moans of pain that were coming from my mouth (which was gagged by this time with out ball gag).  After 30 minutes or so of delicious torture over my body, Mistress liberally applied lube to my ass and gently slide a finger inside.  It was time to get to the task at hand ... the draining of my balls of it's contents.

After a minute or so of her finger, I could feel the hardness of the Aneros at my rear hole.  Mistress slide it quickly but gently and soon my prostate was feeling the full effect of the intruder.  Mistress "primed the pump" by stroking my cock and in no time I was so very close to the edge I felt certain I wasn't going to be able to prevent an ejaculation.  I knew that if I had ejaculated now, without her permission to do so, I'd be subject to a very harsh spanking punishment like the one I received a week or so ago for the very same offense.  It took every ounce of strength I had to prevent an ejaculation.  There was an emission but it only precum.  I was so deep in subspace and lost in the sensations that were happening to me.  Mistress was working the Aneros on my prostate and in no time, the semen just ran from body and was pooling all over my tummy.  There was no controlling it.  It was a completely involuntary expulsion of semen, and there was a ton of it.  There was no orgasm.  None. There wasn't even the kind of slight pleasure that comes from a ruined orgasm.  it was merely the sensation of the fluid leaving my body.  Mistress removed the device from my wanton ass leaving me wanting more.  I just laid there, covered in my own cum while Mistress removed the restraints.  When my limbs were free, Mistress laid with not saying a word.  We just laid there holding each other.  A few minutes later, Mistress instructed me to clean everything up so we could go to bed.

Isn't she the greatest Mistress ever?  Mission accomplished!

The following morning, I was instructed to wear my glass again that day.  I felt the soreness inside my hole all day but it was the kind of soreness that felt wonderful. 

On this morning I asked Mistress permission to ask her to consider something (that's a new rule for us).  She said yes, so I asked her that since she was on her monthly visitor, and since it was the only time of the month that she even consider using her strapon on me, I asked her if she would consider donning her thigh harness that holds her rubber cock, and allow me to ride it while she sat in her throne.

She said she would consider it.  I'm so excite that she is considering it.  I love performing for her this way ..... I hope she says yes!

I'll ask again, isn't she the greatest Mistress Wife ever?

Every Morning

 

In a recent post, I wrote about some of the new routines and rituals that Mistress has set for us as a couple going forward.  One of those is ... at precisely 5:55am every workday, I am have her freshly prepare cup of coffee available and sitting on the night stand next to the bed.  Then I am to tenderly, lovingly and effectively waken her using only soft kisses on her belly and torso region.  Before going to bed last, I asked Mistress if I could take a picture of the beauty at which I am to worship each morning and she said yes.  This is typical of what my new morning ritual looks like every morning.  This is Mistress K. in all her glory.  Please forgive the grainy, dark picture.  It was still kind of dark in there but I couldn't help but share the beauty of glorious Mistress Wife (with her permission of course).

 

 

Since starting this wonderful ritual, at precisely 5:56am every work day, my cock is as hard as it ever is and can be.

Stop occasionally and appreciate the things that you have

This morning, I was the first one awake (which is usually the case) in the house.  It was 5am, I had a nice hot cup of coffee and I was cruising the news on the internet.  For some reason, all of a sudden, a feeling of deep appreciation came over me for the things in my life that make me happy.  Here I was, sitting in a beautiful home, with a beautiful family, blissfully living our lives.  The kids are happy and healthy (to the extent teenagers can be), the weather is beautiful because I live in paradise, the cat is even rubbing on my leg showing me devotion and affection. 

Oddly, the cat's devoted demonstration of love got me to thinking.  When I initially started on my journey of interest in and contemplation of a FLM, one of the first tumblr sites I came across was Continuous State of desire.  Here is the link:

http://continuousstateofdesire.tumblr.com/

I knew then that the name itself is what drew me to that site.  What I didn't know then is that a constant state of desire would turn out to be the catalyst for pursuing my own Female Led Marriage.  There was nothing especially different about that the content of that particular Femdom/submale tumblr site. It had all the requisite pictures, some of which where incredibly hot and others that were, well meh.  Yet there was something about the title of the site that caused me to repeatedly return. 

I have said in the past that my primary goal in initially pursuing the lifestyle that we live now, was to be able always demonstrate my desire for the woman that I already knew I loved so much.  I was focused on not allowing the distractions and stresses that naturally come from normal suburban/professional/family/societal life to distract me from being able to naturally always feels in love and in lust with my beautiful wife.

Then one day, during my journey to and research I felt I needed in order to probably propose to my wife that she accept my submission, my then wife (not yet my Mistress) asked an off-handed question about whether we will still want to be with each other after the kids have left the nest.  I knew at that very moment that FLM and my asking her to be my Mistress, accepting my submission and to control all aspects of my sex was the right thing to do in order to avoid even the slightest risk of us growing apart as we raised our family.  So far (knock on wood), the continuous state of desire that I am lucky enough to live in is accomplishing that very thing.  Every aspect our lives together, our family in general, my work, her work is continuously getting better and better with each day.  Never in a million years could I have understood how I could be sitting here in the middle of April, having had only 1 full orgasm in the last (almost) 5 months, feeling so content with my sex life.  So happy and content in my marriage and so much in love and in lust with my beautiful Mistress Wife. 

With all of this in mind, in the supreme quiet of the pre-dawn, I leaned back in my chair, sipped don my delicious coffee and just smiled. 

I love You Mistress!

Objectification. It's the little things

I was in the shower this morning getting ready to go to work.  Mistress returned from taking the kids to school and stood in the entry to the shower to tell me a story she had just heard on the radio about a cat that was thought to be dead, was buried, then clawed it's way out of the grave and is alive.  It was an interesting story.

While I was washing myself and rinsing my hair under the warm water, she was looking at me in a way that made me feel she really enjoyed what she was seeing.  When we were through talking about the cat story, she reached for a small wash cloth and placed it on the floor of the shower.  She told me put some soap in my hand and then told me to kneel on the small cloth.  I was instructed to masturbate for her.  I was not erect when I was given these instructions but started to masturbate anyway.  She likes to have me masturbate for her, I think partly because she just likes to watch and partly because she likes to allow me to because I no longer am able to masturbate like i did before we entered this glorious life that we lead. 

She said "I don't want to watch you stroke a limp cock.  Get it hard for me."  Even though i was limp, I was at the edge of orgasm.  She didn't care, and repeated her instruction to get it hard.  It was very much like what is expected in a "Devotional Sex" relationship where the man (knight) is expected to reveal his penis and then become erect when the woman (Princess) utters the word "present".  My erection was on it's way, albeit slower than either of us wanted.  The moment she raised an eyebrow as if to project that failure to become erect immediately would result in disappointment, I became hard as a rock!  This pleased Mistress to no end and as such, she lifted the pajama top she was wearing to reveal her breasts and torso and moved toward where I was kneeling, and offered them to me to worship.  I so much love to worship Mistress' breasts and tummy, and especially that part between her belly button and her, um, promised land.  After only a few minutes, she told me to stop, finish my shower and then get ready for work.  She told me (for the 3rd day in a row) to just dress normal under my clothes today.  Since starting our FLM, there has never been a 3rd day in a row that Mistress has instructed me not to wear something.  It's rarely ever 2 days in a row for that matter. 

Did I feel objectified by Mistress during this impromptu little scene?  Yes I did.  Did I enjoy being objectified by Mistress?  YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT I DID!  There is hardly anything I enjoy more than performing sexually for Mistress' viewing pleasure.  I just love it when she tells me to do it, whether it is masturbating while she watches or showing her how I fuck my self with the dildo she has for me.  When it is not something planned like this morning, it is especially rewarding.

Thank you Mistress!

Orgasms ... and the lack thereof

I will start this post off by saying two things ....  1.  I haven't had a full orgasm since October of last year, with only 3 ruined orgasms since;  and  2.  I am not at all complaining about that fact.

In fact, after our latest incredibly sexy session

(link to it here:  http://subhubphx.blogspot.com/2015/01/i-was-good-boy.html)

while I was telling Mistress K. thank you and that we had been to a couple places together that we hadn't been to before, I made the comment that although my orgasms are now few and far between during the past 18 months or so, the sex I have been lucky enough to be allowed to have has been beyond incredible.  I've been thinking about this ever since we discussed it.  Thinking about how unlikely it is that I would ever be able to explain to someone outside the realm of understanding the basic dynamics of a FLM, what an incredible and sexually satisfying ride it has been.  They'd never believe it .... because they wouldn't be able to.  My beautiful, skilled Mistress Wife seems to know exactly when her devoted, submissive husband should be allowed (or required) to orgasm, be it ruined or full.  In fact, Mistress K. was so in tuned to having conditioned me to restricted orgasm that when we were in the hottest part of our recent incredible sex, Mistress warned me that she was going to ruin me that day.  there was no asking, no negotiating, just a statement of fact from my Mistress of how my sex was going to conclude.

 

Have I mentioned before that I love ruined orgasms?  yeah, I'm pretty sure I have.

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I guess to illustrate my feelings about this, here I am writing a post about how my orgasms are so few and far between .... and .... I'm hard as a rock.  Makes me really want to ................

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Or ........

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It's a little more incredible and less satisfying of a ruined orgasm when Mistress takes me there with ZERO direct stimulation to my penis.  I wonder what it's like to entirely own the sex of someone that you love and lust for so deeply.  I'm hoping it's as incredible as having someone that you love and lust for deeply, owning it completely.

I love you Mistress.

Not Today

Yesterday morning Mistress told me I would be wearing panties under my clothes for the day, then she left to take the kids to school and run some errands, so she wouldn't be there when I left the house to go to the office.  I was thinking about having to wear panties during the day and got aroused.  These pink lace always make me feel like such a slut because they are so low in the front.  I enjoy feeling like a slut, I really do.  I've always enjoyed the notion that I would be called to present myself to Mistress wearing panties, only to have them removed from me in preparation for sex that I was going to be required to have.  Yum.  But I digress ..............

I texted her ... "May I edge myself and use a finger on myself while in the shower?"  Her reply was simply "Not Today", to which I replied Yes Mistress.  A short time later I thought I would be cute and texted "would it be pushing my luck to ask if I could wear my plug under my panties today?"  "No plug, not today" was her response.  The only thing I could think to do then was reply "OK, then I won't ask".   She simply replied with a wink.

I love how she regulates me!

Yep, it's that time again

Being Thankful ......................

there are so many obvious things in each of our lives to be thankful for.  Our families, our friends and everyone that we love and that loves us.

That being said, I think it is important to say who and what we are thankful for.

• I am thankful for my beautiful family.  I have the most amazing kids, the most amazing wife and live a life that I only dreamed of when I was a young man, and was wondering how my life would be when i was the age that I am. 
• I am thankful for being a completely loved husband in a loving Female dominated marriage with Mistress K., and all of the joy that comes with it.
• I am thankful for having been officially collared by my wife, the beautiful Mistress K. just one short month ago.
• I am thankful that Mistress K. owns my orgasms and owns all my sexual activities.
• I am thankful that Mistress K. is not the kind of Mistress that restricts visual and physical access to her beautiful body.
• I am thankful that Mistress K. loves me enough to correct me with punishments each time she believes it is necessary to do so.
• I am thankful for being kept in constant, voluntary chastity.
• I thankful for the ability to be able to express myself in this blog, and for the it's ability to be able to create new friends along the way.  Even though as a group, we are (kind of) "weird", we are a very loyal, lovable and intelligent group and I adore my time spent with each one of you
• I am thankful that each day Mistress decides what I will wear or in my body that will be a constant reminder of my dedication of servitude to her that day.
• I am thankful that today Mistress K. has instructed me to wear both my glass butt plug and my favorite pair of red, lacy thong panties.

I am so looking forward to the future as Mistress K. and I continue to discover the depths of our love and dedication to each other.  I am excited to continue to learn and to continue to have my/our limits tested and expanded.

Happy Thanksgiving to each of you, my beloved friends, followers and lurkers!

Post Script edit .... I've reached a milestone of sorts.  this is my 200th post.  yay!

Annual Physical

Today, I go and get my full annual physical with a new doctor that posted about before here:

http://subhubphx.blogspot.com/2014/09/went-to-visit-new-doctor.html

At my request, Mistress K. will be present for my physical.  Now I know what you are thinking, and that is not why I asked Mistress to be there.  I want Mistress to be there so she can hear first hand the things that the female doctor will be saying to me about my health.  Mistress cares very much about being in the know when it comes the physical health of her beloved submissive husband and frankly, like most guys, I fail to communicate the information shared between my doctor and myself. 

Since it is a full physical, I am sure there will be a moment where my nudity will be necessary and yes, being a man of a certain age, i fully expect to have my prostate checked.  What remains to be seen is whether or not the doctor will feel comfortable enough to allow my wife to stay in the examination room for that.  AS much as I have no intention of turning this into anything sexual, I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't fantasize about that. 

Wish me well.  Let's hope the doctor give me (and Mistresses collared and owned husband) a clean bill of health.

The day I was Collared - part 2

..........  Once we arrived back at our beautiful suite, all three of us could feel the excitement building.  I might even be able to call it nervousness.  I know I was getting a bit nervous, but not at all in a bad way.  I had been looking forward to this day ever since we decided we were going to do it 9 months ago.  Our officiant seemed a little nervous as well.  Although she was fully aware of the nature of our ceremony and what it all meant, and although she had been very excited in anticipation as well, this was going to be the first time she had ever presided over a vows renewal ceremony that was meant to memorialize the official union of a Dominant and a submissive. 

We walked around the suite together, giving her a tour and explaining where in the room that we thought would be the place that would serve as the altar.  She agreed and after a few minutes, Mistress K. and I retreated to the separate bedroom to dress for our ceremony.  Mistress had decided that I would wear the cock cage that I was wearing, the pretty lace black panties that I was wearing and a pair of black, silk boxers that she had purchase specifically for the ceremony.  She supervised me getting dressed and then excused me from the room to go and keep our officiant company while she dressed herself in private.  At that point I had no idea what, if anything, she was planning on wearing.  Nor did i know to what extent Mistress was going to reveal to our officiant what I was required to wear under my silk boxers.  Frankly, if i were to be honest, I was hopeful at this point that Mistress was going to have me remove my boxers in order to openly display the pretty panties I was wearing, and then even have me remove those as well in order to be able to display the cage that imprisoned my cock.  I was deep into subspace at this time as was allowing my imagination to run free.  I even went so far in my imagination as to hope that Mistress was going to have me insert my glass butt plug as an integral part of our ceremony.  In my mind, the implied symbolism was obvious so, you know, it made sense to me.  A boy can dream right?  Being revealed in that manner of dress (or undress if you will) has been and will be a fantasy of mine, especially in a manner that calls for my direction demonstration of my commitment, love and dediction to my beloved Mistress.  That being said, I didn't really believe that those things would become a reality because I know that Mistress is a very private, very discrete Mistress, and feels very strongly that our intimate moments are just that  -  private. 

I was standing alongside the officiant wearing only my cage, my black lace panties and my silk boxers, talking about, oh the "weather".  I wanted so bad to tell her what I was wearing underneath but instinctively knew that it would in direct violation of what Mistress K. would've wanted me to do.  Hence the conversation about the "weather".  About 10 minutes, the door to the bedroom opened.  I was standing there fully immersed in my sub space, eagerly awaiting the opportunity for my beautiful wife to stand next to me and accept my vows of loyal, devotion and submission, and filling the doorway was a vision beauty, grace and awesomeness that literally made me gasp in excitement.  She was stunning.

She was wearing sheer, black thigh-high stockings held in place by a beautiful garter belt and clasps.  She was wearing very tall, black high heels that had jewel incrusted straps that went around her ankles.  She was wearing a pair of panties that I had never seen before and that matched her outfit impeccably and were so incredibly sexy.  She wore a beautiful black bra with lace trim that held her beautiful breasts perfectly.   Her red hair was brushed and laid beautifully straight over her shoulders and down her in the fashion she knew I loved the most.  Her make-up stunning and her lips red, she strode toward me and our officiant.  Even our officiant made a reactive comment about how stunning this Goddess was at that moment. 

She came to and we began the ceremony.  The officiant read from her script, which beautifully written and very apropos to our devotion and our lifestyle.  It was beautiful.  The we came to the part where we exchanged our own vows and revealed them to each other for the first time.  A beautiful thing the officiant did in her script was to ask Mistress two questions before i would give her my vows.  First, did she want to allow me, as a submissive, to participate in a ceremony that would culminate in the ownership of me by her.  She said yes.  Then she asked Mistress K. if she would be willing to listen to and consideration vows and declaration of my love and devotion to her, before I was allowed to begin. 

 

Sidebar .... when it came time for Mistress to give me her vows, no such consideration of my acceptance was considered.  I loved that.

 

Once Mistress had agreed to allow me to make my vows, I kneeled before her and handed her one white rose.  Mistress K. had previously requested that I do that because she had read somewhere that it was a universal symbol of the act of giving one's submission.  On my knees and looking up at the most gorgeous woman I have ever seen, I proceeded to her my vows of devotion, love, servitude and ownership.  Tears of joy were welling in Mistress' eyes as i spoke my words, which in turned caused me to choke up a little.  I stayed strong and finished my vows without any emotional interruption.  Then Mistress K. gave me her vows and it was a similarly emotional moment for each of us.  (as I've mentioned before, Mistress K. is a very private person and as such, I will not reveal the words that we exchanged in our most intimate time.  I'm sure you can imagine though).

 

When we were finished with our vows, and the officiant was finished with her Benediction, she said "I now re-declare you as Wife and husband and declare you as Mistress and submissive.   Amen"

 

With that, Mistress K. walk over to me as I knelt before her, wrapped her arms around me and pulled me into her abdomen, which is the symbolic position that we have for punishment aftercare.  We held together for about 60 seconds and as she began to release, I couldn't help but plant soft kisses on her belly between her navel and the top of her low cut panties.  It is my most favorite part of a woman's body, in particular Mistress's body.

 

With that we called for a car to come pick up our dear sweet officiant and while we waited, we all hugged and told each other how beautiful everything was.  our officiant thank Mistress K. profusely for allowing her to preside over our ceremony.  (She knows who's boss, right?)

 

To be continued ....................

She made me very happy

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Hi everyone,

We are have returned from our short journey to renew our vows.  At this particular moment I don't have the time (or permission) to go into the intimate details of our ceremony.  I certain both of those will become available shortly, but until then, I wanted to say thank you to those of you that sent your sincerewellwishes, both by commenting on this blog and by private email.  It really means a lot to Mistress K. and myself. 

There will be more intimate details to follow, to the extent that Mistress K. feels comfortable allowing me to share them.  Suffice it to say, it was a very tender, very beautiful, very emotional, loving ceremony that culminated in me being collared by Mistress K., in a ceremony before a verified officiant.  Mistress K. cried during the ceremony and I almost did.  Being an actual, "legal" collared slave is a dream come true for me  and I couldn't be happier knowing that I have committed myself to my Mistress K. and more importantly, Mistress K. has accepted me as her submissive. 

In the meantime, I'll be happy to answer any questions you might have about the ceremony or the nature of my incredibly deep love for this woman.

Thank you again for the kind words and well wishes everyone.  It means so much to both of us.