Saturday, October 31, 2015

She felt perfect

Last night for dinner, Mistress and I were at a very, very fancy restaurant, with 6 other people, enjoying a beautiful meal in celebration of someone's birthday.  Completely and utterly vanilla ......

There was a tiny moment of electricity.  When we all got up to leave, Mistress was standing next to me and moved toward her and put my arm around her small waist.  her body felt so good, so sexy so beautiful.  Standing there saying our goodbyes, my arm pulled her closer and my hand wandered all over her back, her waist and her beautiful ass.  I wasn't looking in her direction but I could COMPLETELY see her through my holding and touching her.  Being able to smell her while holding her this vanilla way got me, well hard as a rock and my cock kept growing inside my pants to the point where I had to let go of Mistress's waist and use my jacket to cover my erection. 

There is just something about the way she smells.  Yummy!

Thursday, October 29, 2015

What is a benefit of a Female led Marriage?

I've been asked that question before.  I've seen that question asked, and it's been debated from all angles, by many different people with a variety of agendas in mind.

I ran across one of my very favorite quotes.and until I saw it again today, I only ever thought it was very clever and funny.  Now, I think it is meaningful as well.  here it is;

“The problem is, God gave man a brain and a penis and only enough blood to run one at a time.”
-   Robin Williams
Often people will try to define for everyone within listening (reading) distance, exactly how things should go.  if it is something like a FLM, people will debate whether it truly is or not because the people involved do, or don't do, this or that.  Whatever this or that may be. 
Back to Robin William's joke.  Yes it's clever and funny ... but it's also true.  For so many men, this very conundrum is absolutely true.  I, on the other, am immune from this problem.  In fact, my FLM is the very reason that I am not subject to this phenomenon for one very simple, convenient reason .... I don't control my penis.  The second Mistress K. accepted my submission, I gladly offered and she happily accepted the responsibility and control of my penis.  As a covenant to our relationship (and as of a year ago our renewed marriage vows), my penis is completely and utterly controlled by Mistress K.  Access to it, it's use for ANYTHING other than it's cleaning or for urination, is absolutely prohibited without permission and supervision.  As such, the blood in my body can be (and is) solely dedicated to running my brain, and not my penis.  When mistress decides that my penis is to be used, the need for the appropriate amount of blood to run my brain disappears because she is controlling things then, and therefore can be totally dedicated to running my penis which makes her happy.
I am an Alpha male of every aspect o my life except the obvious exception.  Not owning my sex, my penis, my orgasms, greatly minimizes the chances that I will fuck up in my life because that should rightfully be dedicated for use in my brain, isn't being diverted to my penis. 
When you think about it ... God was so smart ... wasn't she?

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Are you truly submissive?

Those words kept rolling on a loop in my head in the very beginning.  When I first decided to approach Mistress K. with the idea of living in a Female Led Marriage.  It was imperative for me that we live an ACTUAL FLM and not just one were one party or the other yielded to the other's kink.  Temporary yielding to the other's kinks is and can be fun of course, but it's not the same thing as really, truly, living it 24/7.

On more than one occasion I have drawn to a blog post on Mistress Ivey's blog.  It is an excellent blog and I recommend it to anyone, submissive or dominant.  Her most recent blog post is title "Are you Truly Submissive?", and speaks directly to this.  You can see the post here:

There are plenty of people that seek the temporary kink aspects of FLR//FLM/Female Dominance.  I get that and have no trouble with them for that.  I even support those that are just simply not "real" in their quest for an FLM but lie to themselves and their partner about it in order to continue to receive the kink.  I get that with them too and I fully support anyone's idea of kink, whether they understand it completely or not.

This blog post from Mistress Ivey spoke to me on two levels.  One, it uses the words I sometimes stumble to find when trying to explain why we are in this relationship at all, and two;  My biggest fear, biggest nightmare scenario would be for one of us to wake up one day and wonder, "are you truly submissive" ... or worse "are you truly dominant".

Monday, October 19, 2015

2 Stunning women

For different reasons, I find these two women stunning:

I've always thought Kristen Stewart was just gorgeous in a pouty, bratty sort of way.

This is Frauke Petry.  She is a German politician.  She looks like a strong woman, don't you think?

Friday, October 16, 2015

Classic Wonderfulness

There is just something so wonderful, so awesome, so basic and so beautiful about this picture.  Maybe because I was just luck enough to be able to spend 3 evenings in a row in our "natural state", just like as depicted here.  Maybe it is because the girl in the picture reminds me so much of my Wife's grace and beauty. 

Thursday, October 15, 2015

Uh oh!

Mistress sent me a text that I received during a very important meeting today.  It was a simple picture of my t shirt and my cock ring (the one I am required to wear every Wednesday) laying on the floor next to the bed, and next to that was an emoji of a red, angry face!

OK, so here's what happened.  This is not an excuse, but it was happened.  Last night I returned home from a very important business dinner that went very well.  I brought take-out from the restaurant I was at. which happened to be her favorite restraint.  She was thrilled with me.  No kids were home and as such, immediately after giving her the food, I retreated to our closet to become naked, as i am required to do when we are alone.  Since it was Wednesday, I was also wearing my cock, which as i mentioned earlier, is something i am required to wear every Wednesday under my clothes.  I went to the kitchen, straightened up, got the coffee pot ready for the next morning.  Mistress was firmly ensconced  on the couch watching her favorite Netflix show so I knew I would have no shot at watching the TV for Sports Center, to catch up on all the baseball action of the day. 

I asked permission to go to our bedroom to watch ESPN.  Instead of granting permission right away, Mistress had me kneel naked and ringed next to the wall where the TV was.  She just wanted to view me in that position for a short time before letting run off to watch my sports.  After a short time, she granted permission for me to go to our bedroom to watch TV.  On the way, I stopped by her on the couch, leaned downed and thanked her and also told how much I loved being able to be in what would be our natural state (me naked, she not) these past 2 nights because the kids were out.  It was lovely.

I had no intention of going to sleep for the night when I got to the bedroom, but lay in our comfy bed and settled in for some good ESPNing.  Of course, in a matter of minutes I was asleep.  I woke up around 11pm because the cock ring was paining me a bit.  In my half sleep I removed it and just dropped it on the floor next to the bed.  "No problem", I said to myself in my head, because the kids are gone for the night. 

This morning I woke up at 4am for some reason.  Of course it was dark out and when i got out of bed, it didn't the black cock ring on the floor in a room full of darkness.  That's what happened!

Did I mean to be careless ?  No, of course not.  Was it careless?  If course it was and I feel just terrible about it.  I try so hard to stay out of trouble by not disappointing Mistress.  I failed. 

More to come I'm sure .................

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Milking Day - October 2015

This past Monday (2nd Monday of the month) was my monthly milking day.  Unlike last month, I didn't have a lingering punishment hanging over my head.  Also unlike last month, we again found ourselves with a few hours of alone time ... and it was milking day.

No details this time.  Sorry.  I will tell you that I was involved in the most beautiful, sensual and loving sex I have ever had in my life. It was almost spiritual. 


I was milked immediately after.  After Mistress and I made the most incredible love I can ever remember, she reminded me that I still needed to be milked.  I was not allowed to orgasm during our sex and after I told I could've literally had an orgasm just from witnessing her during our lovemaking, she told me to straddle her naked body on the bed.  She told me that my milking would happen only if i were able to produce an ejaculation with only the visual stimulation before me (naked her), and her gently massaging my balls.  It took less than a minute.  Not once was my penis touched.

Monthly objective complete.  Mistresses devoted pet-husband was ritualistically drained of his semen. 

What a magical night.

Monday, October 12, 2015

We were alone

In the desert, for many kids, it is "fall break" time this coming week.  Mistress K. and I suddenly and unexpectedly found ourselves alone on Sunday afternoon.  We knew we would be alone until 10pm or so.  It's such a rare thing for us to find ourselves alone, but when it happens, we both usually comment on about how, in only a few years, our life in our house will be with us primarily alone.

When both kids were gone, I walked into the house from waving good bye, prepared to remove my clothes (a standard rule when we are alone ... become naked without being told to do so) when Mistress informed me we were going out to eat.  I was wearing sport shorts with no panties underneath, and a t shirt.  Instead of removing them, I added a hat and out the door we went.

We went to a pretty cool, big open, noisy neighborhood family restaurant/bar that was hopping for a Sunday night.  I was canoodling up on Mistress K in the booth when she instructed me to go into the bathroom and "stroke your cock until it is hard, then return to the table".  Without hesitation I got up, went to the bathroom, only to find that the single stall was occupied, and there was one guy waiting.  I returned to the booth and informed Mistress that the stall was full and said "but if what you want is my cock to be hard, I don't need to stroke it to get it hard.'  She seemed surprised that I could do that (which frankly surprised me that she was surprised) and said, "OK, get it hard" It took about 45-60 seconds.  She promptly ran her hand up my leg, under my shorts and started rubbing and stroking my cock under the table.  She was excited about how hard it was.  She was kind of nervous that someone would see her doing that so it didn't last long.  Her hand would find it's way back under my shorts and to my cock a couple of other times for a few short strokes. 

It was time to leave but before we could go, Mistress had me return to the bathroom to accomplish what she had instructed me to do earlier.  Stroke my cock in the bathroom.  She seemed to just want for me to be stroking it in a public place ... because she told me to!  Nice.

Wen we returned home,  She was standing on the curb of the street, "watering the dogs".  I was kissing on her neck and I whispered that I would be inside, naked and waiting for her.  All she did was nod and send me on my way.

15 minutes later or so, I was naked, laying on the couch watch the baseball game.  When she emerged, she looked over at me and gave a contented smile and walked into the kitchen.  I got up, followed her, stood next to her, pressed my naked body against hers and began to nuzzle and kiss her neck and face.  She slowly stroked me and moaned in delight at my worshipping kisses.  It was wonderful.  I was there, naked before her as I should be, displaying my devotion and love for her with worshipping kisses, marinating in the moment, knowing this is how it can be for us in a couple of shorts years.  After a few minutes of her stroking, I informed her that I was nearing ejaculation.  She didn't stop, she sped up, trying to entice an unauthorized ejaculation I suppose.  Then she stopped.  I told her that I worshipped her, how much I loved and how thankful I was to be hers.  Literally hers!

A few minutes later, in the bathroom, I went to her again and repeated what I started in the kitchen. She pulled me into her and put her arm around my neck and with her free hand started slapping my ass with her hand.  All of a sudden she grabbed me by the wrist, led me to the wall in the bathroom, placed my hands on the wall above my head and started spanking my ass with her hand.  Pretty good spanks too.  She gave me 15-20 rapid spanks then stopped.  She started pumping my cock.  I started to turn and face her and she pushed me back in position and started spanking me again for 15-20.  Then she started stroking me again and when I would near the point of ejaculation, she would stop and with force and speed would spank me another 15-20 times.  She continued with this pattern for another 3 edgings, then abruptly stopped and told me to resume watching my game on TV. 

I'll admit, I was hopeful that with our unexpected time alone that maybe, just maybe Mistress would have me give/help her achieve an orgasm.  She had no such inclination, probably because one of the children would be home in an hour or so.  I didn't matter, being able to briefly be in what is our "natural state" when we are alone (she clothed and me not) was something I was grateful for.  Those few moments of being able to inhale the scent of my Mistress while nuzzled in and kissing her neck where incredible.

Sunday, October 11, 2015

Looking Back so I can look forward

Occasionally it's fun and exciting to go back over some of the material that I waded through in the beginning during my "research" in the beginning.  Re-reading some of the things that helped Mistress K. and I. get to where we are.  Deeper in love than either of us thought possible.

Below is a link for one such site.  It's called "Caring Domination" and for me, it was a instrumental to my decision to ask Mistress K. to accept my submission.

There's a quick tour as well, which I also remember being helpful:

But, it was the following words that spoke to me in the most meaningful way and was the basis for which I asked my wife to accept my submission and her role and the dominant in our life together.

"The ultimate control over a man is not hypnosis, blackmail, tying him up, or any of the male submissive fantasies. The ultimate control is love."

Thursday, October 8, 2015

1 year is coming up

In roughly two weeks, it will be the one year anniversary of my collaring ceremony.  You may recall that on the occasion of our 15th wedding anniversary, Mistress K and I renewed our marriage vows.  Those vows one year ago, were directly relative to our life in our loving Female Led Marriage.  You can read all about the details by looking into my posts in October, 2014.  In short though, it was a deeply emotional ceremony, before an officiant who read from the "good book", witnessed and then recognized our (re)Union.

During the private ceremony, I was wearing only light, silk shorts (for the benefit of the officiant) and my chastity cage.  I recited my vows from my knees before Mistress K and the officiant, and accepted my collar from my knees as well.  It was a glorious afternoon and evening to be sure.

As i reflect on the coming anniversary, I am so very happy for the growing love and devotion I have for my beautiful life partner.  I am just so grateful to this woman who has accepted my submission, my devotion and the ownership of my body and soul.  I so look forward to the journey that is the rest of our life together.

Monday, October 5, 2015

Nervous and eager (update)

In my most recent post, I talked about what it was like to be on the verge of receiving a spanking that I suspected (knew) would be a harsh one.  When I wrote it, I was waiting, naked for Mistress to return from taking the kids to school.  On this particular day, instead of going right to her office after dropping the kids off, Mistress was going to return home to get ready for work.  I suspected then that since I was about to leave town for a long fun weekend of golf and guy stuff, Mistress would indeed give me the punishment spanking that was pending and due.

When Mistress walked in the door I was naked (as I knew I should be) and working at the computer.  She walked by trailing her nails across my back and mentioned that she would be spanking me shortly.  Gulp!  She disappeared into the closet in our bedroom.  I could hear her open and close some drawers before summoning me to the closet.  I fully expected to be ordered onto the long counter in our closet so Mistress could execute on the spanking.

When I arrived in the closet, Mistress was standing in the doorway pouring lube into her right hand.  Without any expression on her face, she ordered me to stand in the doorway and to place my hands on the top of it and do not let them fall.  She immediately started rubbing my cock for a few strokes then turned her attention to my balls.  She cupped them, rolled them in her hands and continued to massage my aching balls.  I was lost in lust.  Then it occurred to me that Mistress was milking me.  She would occasionally rub the head of my cock with her slippery hand to speed up the process, but concentrated on the massaging of my balls. 

Mistress was looking me directly in the eyes, without any expression on her face.  She was methodical and determined to coax the semen from deep within my balls.  At that moment, and because of the expression on her face, that Mistress intended to give me my spanking punishment immediately following my milking.  I begged Mistress not to spank me after extracting the cum from my balls, knowing that receiving a spanking after ejaculation is so much worse.  I begged her with everything I had to give me my spanking first and then milk me after.

Mistress would have none of it.  She continued to massage my balls knowing that it would be stimulation enough to produce my ejaculate.  She remained expressionless and continued in a clinical fashion rubbing my aching balls.  After several minutes of begging and pleading, I resigned myself to the fact that my spanking would come AFTER my milking and not the other way around.  Standing naked with my arms at the top f the doorway, Mistress silently held her palm in front of my cock.  It was her silent instruction that it was time for me to produce my mess into her.  As if on cue and from only the stimulation of Mistress squeezing and massaging my balls in her hand, my ejaculate oozed from the head of my cock and into her hand.  She continued to squeeze my balls and coax out as much as she could.  When the cum stopped oozing in her hand, she abruptly let go of my now-slippery ball sack, she paused and looked into my eyes for what seemed like a long time.  For a moment there, I thought she was going to feed me my cum because seemed to be in the mood of making me do something that neither of us want to do.  Instead, she walked past me and into the bathroom to wash her hands.

She returned from the bathroom quickly, grabbed my outstretched arm and led me to the bed.  Pointing to it she instructed me to stand next to it and bend over the side.  I begged her some more not to give me my punishment right then but I'm afraid that only caused her to be more determined.  I bent over the bed, offering my bare, sweat covered ass to her for my spanking.  She had me stand for an adjustment and that's when she noticed that I had dribbled some of my cum on the freshly washed sheets.  Trust me, that didn't help my situation.

For what seemed like an eternity, Mistress spanked me the gruesome wooden spoon with the rounded back.  It was awful.  I came as close as I ever have to crying from the pain I was receiving at that moment.  The combination of the wicked rounded spoon and the temporary loss of erotic desire as a result of my milking seconds earlier, conspired to give me the worst spanking to date.  Didn't spank hard.  She didn't have to with that spoon.  The pain was deep, real and all I wanted her to do was finish.  My pleas only seemed to make her want to continue.

Mercifully it was over.  My face buried in the bed, panting, sweating and feeling the burn on my ass, I was trying to catch my breath.  I didn't dare move, assuming it was over because I hadn't been given the instructions to move.   She pulled me upright by my shoulder, turned me around and had me kneel before her for aftercare.

I was milked and spanked hard.  I was ashamed, feeling the pain, glad it was over and so very much in love with my Mistress Wife at that moment.  After a few minutes, I was instructed to stand, clean up, but the implements away and to get ready for my trip.

I will be working on letting my frustrations come out in the presence of Mistress.  I don't want to have to endure that again.