Nervous and eager (update)

In my most recent post, I talked about what it was like to be on the verge of receiving a spanking that I suspected (knew) would be a harsh one.  When I wrote it, I was waiting, naked for Mistress to return from taking the kids to school.  On this particular day, instead of going right to her office after dropping the kids off, Mistress was going to return home to get ready for work.  I suspected then that since I was about to leave town for a long fun weekend of golf and guy stuff, Mistress would indeed give me the punishment spanking that was pending and due.

When Mistress walked in the door I was naked (as I knew I should be) and working at the computer.  She walked by trailing her nails across my back and mentioned that she would be spanking me shortly.  Gulp!  She disappeared into the closet in our bedroom.  I could hear her open and close some drawers before summoning me to the closet.  I fully expected to be ordered onto the long counter in our closet so Mistress could execute on the spanking.

When I arrived in the closet, Mistress was standing in the doorway pouring lube into her right hand.  Without any expression on her face, she ordered me to stand in the doorway and to place my hands on the top of it and do not let them fall.  She immediately started rubbing my cock for a few strokes then turned her attention to my balls.  She cupped them, rolled them in her hands and continued to massage my aching balls.  I was lost in lust.  Then it occurred to me that Mistress was milking me.  She would occasionally rub the head of my cock with her slippery hand to speed up the process, but concentrated on the massaging of my balls. 

Mistress was looking me directly in the eyes, without any expression on her face.  She was methodical and determined to coax the semen from deep within my balls.  At that moment, and because of the expression on her face, that Mistress intended to give me my spanking punishment immediately following my milking.  I begged Mistress not to spank me after extracting the cum from my balls, knowing that receiving a spanking after ejaculation is so much worse.  I begged her with everything I had to give me my spanking first and then milk me after.

Mistress would have none of it.  She continued to massage my balls knowing that it would be stimulation enough to produce my ejaculate.  She remained expressionless and continued in a clinical fashion rubbing my aching balls.  After several minutes of begging and pleading, I resigned myself to the fact that my spanking would come AFTER my milking and not the other way around.  Standing naked with my arms at the top f the doorway, Mistress silently held her palm in front of my cock.  It was her silent instruction that it was time for me to produce my mess into her.  As if on cue and from only the stimulation of Mistress squeezing and massaging my balls in her hand, my ejaculate oozed from the head of my cock and into her hand.  She continued to squeeze my balls and coax out as much as she could.  When the cum stopped oozing in her hand, she abruptly let go of my now-slippery ball sack, she paused and looked into my eyes for what seemed like a long time.  For a moment there, I thought she was going to feed me my cum because seemed to be in the mood of making me do something that neither of us want to do.  Instead, she walked past me and into the bathroom to wash her hands.

She returned from the bathroom quickly, grabbed my outstretched arm and led me to the bed.  Pointing to it she instructed me to stand next to it and bend over the side.  I begged her some more not to give me my punishment right then but I'm afraid that only caused her to be more determined.  I bent over the bed, offering my bare, sweat covered ass to her for my spanking.  She had me stand for an adjustment and that's when she noticed that I had dribbled some of my cum on the freshly washed sheets.  Trust me, that didn't help my situation.

For what seemed like an eternity, Mistress spanked me the gruesome wooden spoon with the rounded back.  It was awful.  I came as close as I ever have to crying from the pain I was receiving at that moment.  The combination of the wicked rounded spoon and the temporary loss of erotic desire as a result of my milking seconds earlier, conspired to give me the worst spanking to date.  Didn't spank hard.  She didn't have to with that spoon.  The pain was deep, real and all I wanted her to do was finish.  My pleas only seemed to make her want to continue.

Mercifully it was over.  My face buried in the bed, panting, sweating and feeling the burn on my ass, I was trying to catch my breath.  I didn't dare move, assuming it was over because I hadn't been given the instructions to move.   She pulled me upright by my shoulder, turned me around and had me kneel before her for aftercare.

I was milked and spanked hard.  I was ashamed, feeling the pain, glad it was over and so very much in love with my Mistress Wife at that moment.  After a few minutes, I was instructed to stand, clean up, but the implements away and to get ready for my trip.

I will be working on letting my frustrations come out in the presence of Mistress.  I don't want to have to endure that again.

Punishment Spanking on my mind

Over the past few days, I've had punishment spankings on my mind.  Not fantasies (well not all fantasies), not questioning it use or importance in my life with Mistress K. (I never have a single doubt about), but more along the lines of how and in what context.

I told Mistress K. about a very short dream I had the other night that mostly included a spanking wall.  We were somewhere (I don't know where) and we were with people (I don't know who) that we were with in a banquet room (I don't know why) eating dinner or something at a table that probably sat 10.  The chair next to me was empty (Mistress K.'s seat I presume) but the rest of the table was full.  Oh, and I was naked and wearing a ball harness that is basically a Velcro secured piece of rubber that wraps around the base of my balls and separates them from the rest of my body.  Mistress will sometimes have me wear this under my clothes.  Also, it has a "D" Ring attached to it.  Even though I was naked, it didn't seem at all out of place.  I was engaged with everyone else at the table in witty banter when all of a sudden Mistress comes up to me, grabs me by the ear, pulls me to my feet and begins to scold me for something.  I don't what for though.  She is NOT happy (thank God it was just a dream).  She attached a leash to my balls harness and roughly pulls on it indicating that I should follow her.  She leads me into a room and on the far wall there are three hooks.  Two of them are high and have cuffs attached to them and the other on is the same height as my balls harness.

She leads me to this wall, still obviously not happy with me for some reason.  She secures my wrists in the cuffs and attaches them to the hooks in the wall.  It fully stretched my arms and body although my feet are still comfortably on the floor.  She attaches my balls harness tightly the third and by doing so, it pulls the entire front of my body flush and tight up against the wall.  I'm scared shitless.  Not because it appears that I am about to get a punishment but because she is obviously not happy with, I mean really, really not happy) and I don't know why.  Standing there, securely bound and pressed to the wall, she whispers behind me in an obviously angry voice .... This is going to test your boundaries, your devotion to our marriage and your courage.  With that she left the room, closing the door behind her, leaving me all alone in that position.  Then I WOKE UP!

When I woke up I was so relieved that it was a dream because I never, ever want for Mistress to be angry like that toward me.  I told her about it briefly and we haven't had any time alone to discuss it further other than for her to say "I like the sound of that wall".

Then, when browsing this morning, I came across this story from Femdomous:

http://www.femdomous.com/femdom-sex/one-orgasm-two-spankings

Take a moment and read it.  It's a fantasy site that has all kinds of Femdom stories, but I mostly like it because there is always a sexy drawing accompanying the story.  This story happened to be about what I believe to be the absolute worst kind of punishment spanking there.  The dreaded post-orgasm story.  If you are a submissive man, and have ever been required to an orgasm immediately preceding a harsh punishment spanking, you know what I am talking about.  It's the worst!

Mistress K. has done this to me on only 2 occasions in the past.  I can tell you I high degree of certainty that is never something I want to have happen to me again.  Did I mention it was awful?

Submissive men .... do what you are told and behave yourselves soyou can minimize the chances of this ever happening to you. 

Dominant Wives/Women  .... if you ever want to really emphasize the punishment part of a punishment spanking. this will do it.

I'm pretty sure that these two things are a primary reason that I have had spankings on my mind the last few days.  Oh, that and the fact that Mistress owes me 2 punishment spankings.