Followers

Saturday, April 22, 2017

Getting caught up with each other

In a previous post here, I talked about some changes that were coming in our direction.  The extent and details of those changes was, at the time, remain-to-be-seen.  Last night Mistress and I had what a kind of late dinner opportunity.  We went to a lovely little restaurant, got little table outside ( the weather was Phoenix spectacular!!!) and we proceeded to talk about how things in our marriage were going. 

The details of our conversation were private and frankly, boring for the rest of you, but suffice it to say we did speak about two things that weren't urgent, but did command some attention.  In the previous referenced above, Mistress K. has spoken of changes that she would like to she in her "way of life", her "lifestyle".  We were able to talk a little about that and add some clarity. It seems that while watching 50 Shades of Grey recently (for the first time.  I still haven't seen it), Mistress K. had an epiphany.  It became clear(er) to her that the happiness and pleasure in life she seeks is, well, in her very hands.  I don't know what scene(s) or what context, but hearing those words from her where a dream come true .  I knew and we both talked about the transition that Mistress K. would have to make from being happily dutiful in her marriage, to being able to actually demand, expect and command the kind of pleasure and happiness in every moment of her life.  I believe we are in for a new chapter in our marriage and life together.  One filled with an even increased level of respect, joy, unquestioned love for each other, and a true understanding of the simple notion that me being in dutiful service to her, controlled by her, disciplined and trained by her, owned by her ..... is something that can truly be a source of happiness for me.  Her comfort in that knowledge I believe swings open the door of joy and pleasure in life that Mistress K. has yet to be able to experience.

The other thing we talked about was a lovely local FLR couple that we are currently in consideration and discussions to meet.  You may recall that in a different recent blog post here, I told Mistress K. that I wished we had actual real-life, FLM friends that we actually enjoyed because they were cool people and not just because we shared this thing in common.  She agreed that it would wonderful for us to be able to "be ourselves" in the presences of others ... in a way that we certainly cannot do in our vanilla lives.  Well .... a very nice man, a submissive husband in his own right, in a marriage that is very similar to the one Mistress K. and I enjoy, made an initial contact to let us know that they lived locally, had a pretty good idea that given the opportunity we could all mesh very well, and offered to begin a conversation about perhaps meeting and see if we all hit it off.  All with one goal in mind ... the genuine desire to meet and approval of the idea fro our respective wives.  Promising but like everything else, we'll see how it goes.

I'm excited about the future and where Mistress K. will led us to.  Should I be nervous too?  Not if I love my Wife like I say I do.



Thursday, April 13, 2017

Benevolent Wife

As some of you may already know, I have a standing command that I am to wear a glass butt plug every Tuesday.  Without being told, without being reminded.  As such, Tuesday's are mostly my favorite day of the week.

This morning, on a lark, I asked Mistress K. if I could wear my plug again today (Thursday).  My beloved, benevolent Mistress said yes!

So, here I am naked, about to get dressed for the day.  A second after hitting "publish" on this post, I will retreat to my closet, retrieve my plug and a bottle of trusty lube, and then relish in the small ceremony of inserting my plug.  I enjoy that small ceremony because each time I insert it, and throughout the day while I am wearing it, my mind is laser focused on the beauty and grace of Mistress K.  Wearing a plug all day causes my mind to wander at times.  It wanders to a place of vivid fantasy and desire.

This week, Thursday is my second favorite day of the week.

Monday, April 10, 2017

Having friends in the lifestyle

Last night Mistress K. and I had a rare opportunity to relax.  Mistress K. was sitting at the counter of the kitchen, enjoying a glass of wine (or two) while watching me prepare dinner.  It was a lovely.  We talked about everything an nothing .... just catching up.  We talked a little about something Mistress K. had said over the last week and that was she intended for us to review and replace our list of rules that we developed in the very beginning of our dynamic.  She believes that she has a much broader scope of what it means and takes to be a Mistress Wife in Female led marriage.  I asked her what she had in mind, and were there things in our current contract that she didn't like, or wanted to add.  She said "yes" but she didn't know exactly what those things might be and that we would develop this new agreement over time.  You see, she didn't want to find herself under the pressure of another unnecessary deadline to get something done and wanted to wait to really consider making changes once the kids were done with school.  So we would be developing our new agreement then.

Also during the discussion I made mention that I often wished that we had friends that were not only aware of our lifestyle, but also led the lifestyle we lead.  She immediately agreed that it would be wonderful to have friends that we actually enjoyed on a level that wasn't just having a FLM in common.  It would be nice to be able to speak openly and freely about the dynamics that each couple had in common.  I hope to make that happen someday.  I know that I thoroughly enjoy hearing about the time that other FLM couples spend together.  It must be a very freeing feeling.

Sunday, April 9, 2017

Hello again world ........

It's funny how life is.  You wake up one morning and realize ... het, this is how my life is.  Hopefully, in the days weeks, hours, years leading up to that point, you've had enough courage and wisdom to lead it into a direction that you know will make your soul happy.   No ... I'm not setting you up for a big dramatic announcement about anything bad ..... there is nothing bad.  It's just life and for Mistress K. and I, life continues to be good.

 Life is good in my mind because I still have the same type and amount of deep admiration, respect, love and lust for my beloved Mistress Wife.  As we make our way through everyday life, our kids are getting older (14 and 16) and we really enjoying these years with them.  I stop on occasion and look at my life and realize what an incredibly lucky man I am to be with this beautiful redheaded woman, who is the sweetest, kindest person toe everyone she knows and meets, who is the greatest mother in the world, who is the sexiest female I have ever seen or fantasized about, and ............. this woman is also the same woman that owns my heart, my soul, my body and everything on my body and controls every amount of sexual pleasure that I am allowed to receive ... from a single source .... her.

I know Mistress K. in happy and content in her life because of the way she genuinely will stop me from time to time and let me know how much she loves her life.  She loves how comfortable she is in life, how much she loves her family, her children, her husband, her friends ............. Everything. 

About 6 months or so ago, she became aware that she had waaaaay too much on her plate in terms of outside volunteer activities.  PTA, club sports administration, work, ...... everything.  Since then she realized that she needed to shed those volunteer obligations in favor of concentrating on her life at home, her family and to the leadership in our marriage, which she feels to needs to maintain a clearer focus on the path, the journey and the destination that she and I will travel in our FLM.  She has said recently that she has had a epiphany as to where it is she wants to be, what she wants to do and a "way of life" that she wants to life.  She has told me she will be focusing more on getting us there. 

I didn't use the occasion to ask her what she meant, or for clarity.  I purposely held back on my instinctive desire to press her for details.  To ask her what that.  To try to "help" her by giving advice (essentially steering her in a direction I might decide she wants to go - or topping form the bottom).  She was confident and determined in her resolve and had informed me that our "way of life" would be changing.  When I mentioned that that terminology she used made me a little nervous, she replied simply by saying "nothing but good my pet.  If it makes me happy, then it will make you happy, right?".  And she's absolutely right.  I replied (by text because I was traveling on business) with "led me to what you want, wherever you want, and I will follow". 

Since, Mistress has made a number of comments about how things for us will be changing .... What will it be?  What will it look like?  Will she be establishing new boundaries in our marriage?  I don't know .... but I do know that as long as she is leading me, I will follow.

Monday, February 27, 2017

Unexpected Subspace

Saturday night I was unexpectedly put into a world that full of joy, full of wonderment, full of unbridled passion for my beloved Wife.  We were supposed to go to see a concert.  That concert was cancelled.  We also were going to join friends for dinner prior to the concert and we all decided to go to dinner anyway.  The concert was going to start at 7, which is why our dinner reservation was at 5pm.  Kind of early normally for dinner out, but it was what it was.

We had a lovely dinner.  The cocktails (me) and wine (Mistress K.) flowed and we had a great time.  Having made initial arrangements for the kids to be elsewhere, we found ourselves alone in our absolutely favorite places .... home.  After saying goodbye to the friends that dropped us off (too many cocktails and too much wine) we went to the closet to change into more comfortable clothes.  Well more comfortable clothes for Mistress K. and zero clothes for me, which is our standing rule when we are alone at home.  When we entered the closet, Mistress K. was emboldened by the wine she was drinking and she was RANDY!  She started to remove my clothes by unbuttoning my shirt.  She made a comment about how she was going to need to remove the abundance of gray hair that had formed on my chest.  With my shirt unbuttoned, she unbuckled my pants and pulled them down to reveal that I was not wearing any underwear.  She was horny and playful and made a comment about how I failed to ask permission to go out without underwear.  I commented on how that was never something I had to ask permission for in the past, to which she replied "well it is now, and you are in violation!" 

She instructed me to "become naked, now!"  I quickly removed the rest of my clothes and stood before her, naked and waiting for further instructions.  I don't know why (maybe it was because she was on her period), but I mistakenly thought that this was going to be one of those time where Mistress K. wanted to pleasure me, like in kneeling before me and sucking my cock.  Instead she just started stroking me.  Having had a few cocktails, I was able to last quite a long time before letting her know that I was near cumming.  She enjoyed that.  When I was near cumming she stopped stroking, turned me around to face the wall and hand me stretch my arms as high as I cold on the wall, and she started spanking me with her hand.  Again, feeling emboldened by the wine, she was spanking harder than usual and loving every second of it.  In just a few minutes I was squirming at the sting that was landing on my bare ass.  She stopped and told me to turn around and then proceeded to stoke my cock (again for a good long time) to the very edge of cumming.  Even when I warned her I was close she was adamant that was not allowed to cum, yet she continued to apply the strokes.  I figured this was one of those times that she was going to force me to disobey her prohibition of an orgasm/ejaculation and therefore be subject to punishment.  It wasn't going to be that either!

She stopped in the nick of time and I was left panting having narrowly avoiding an unauthorized ejaculation ... forced upon or not.  She ordered me to turn back around, resume the previous position and continued to spank me HARD.  I hurt, but I could tell she was enjoying it very much so I did my best to endure the sting for as long as I could.  She repeated the cycle of edging and denial and spanking harshly a few more times.  The last time I was turned and facing the wall, I was legitimately begging for her to go easy on me.  She didn't.  She reached for one of my belts that was hanging nearby and gave me a spanking to remember.  Shit ... it hurt.  I was begging and frankly was getting to the point where I was going to demonstrate tears for her, which I secretly think she aspires to one day.

After a thorough thrashing of my poor bare bottom, she grabbed me by my hair and pulled into the bedroom and shoved me on the bed.  She climbed on the bed (now naked) and laid before me, legs spread.  I went to move toward her and she said "Uh uh!  Get my vibrator!  Make me cum!"  Of course I retrieved her vibrator, turned it on high and handed it to her.  She told me to be the one that held it and as I was placing it on her pussy and clit, she started stroking me again.  Long story short (too late, I know) she had one massive orgasm.  She was teetering on the edge for several minutes but when I took a fistful of hair on the side of her head, she let loose and had the most incredible orgasm.  It was awesome.

I begged her to allow me to cum ..... "No, pet, not tonight".  Please please, please Mistress, may I least have a ruined orgasm?  "No pet, not tonight and I am not going to say it again".  She told me to put the vibrator away and it was time for me to spoon her so she could go to sleep.  I put the vibrator away and snuggled up behind her, holding her warm, delicious body until felt her go to sleep.  I remember laying there thinking what a lucky man I was to be completely and utterly owned by this gorgeous, wonderful woman.  I slept like a baby even though my ass was still on fire!!!

I woke up the next morning and fiddled on the computer for a while.  When I heard she was awake, I went right into the bedroom, knelt before, wrapped my arms around her legs and ass and laid my head on her tummy, thanking her profusely for three things ......... For my spanking. For intense tease and denial and for allowing me to witness have an enormous orgasm.   She rubbed my head and simply told me that she loved me.  I then thanked her for two more things .... For being my loving Mistress Wife and for taking me to such a deep level of genuine supspace.

Saturday, February 25, 2017

It's been on my mind all week

Earlier this week, something very innocuous happen that, at the time, I did not know would occupy so much of my conscious mental thought.  I was asked a very simple, very easy, very logical question by a "friend" on Fetlife.

Sidebar: 

If you are reading this and also happen to be a member of Fetlife, please do look me up and say hello.  Every time I discover the Fetlife profile of one of my dear blogger friends, I get excited.  It's fun.  Do look me up ..... my screenname there is     subhubphx


Anyway, the question was "If you could orgasm in any way you wanted, in any scene(ario) you wanted, without restriction normally placed on you as a submissive husband, and without fear of judgement, ridicule, unwanted humiliation, etc. ..... what would it be?"

Seems like a simple oft asked question right?  I replied to the friend and said I'd need to think about that and get back to him.  That was Monday.  Today is Saturday and even though I have thought about it A LOT since Monday, I still haven't fully decided what my dream scene would be. 

Each of the ones I thought of were exciting to think about for different reasons.  There taboo things (that I probably won't get into cuz I'm shy ... 😎, there were scenes where I could picture Mistress having a pretty female slave in her stable, you know, pretty much anything and everything I could think about.  I enjoy fantasizing.  I enjoy it very much.  In fact, I truly believe the enjoyment I have had fantasizing freely has led me to the most precious thing in my life .... my family.  So I've always allowed myself to fantasize without shame, guilt or other negative emotions that some people attach to kinky thoughts.

I've narrowed it down to the top 5 "Most desired scenario in which to achieve a full, long, orgasm".  In descending order they are as follows:

5. 

Several hours long tease and denial session where being given the command to fully cum at the end, after being told and convinced that there would be no cumming.

4.  

Being fucked simultaneously with Mistress K.  We have a double headed glass dildo.  We've had it for about two years ... and we haven't used it  .... yet

3. 

Riding Mistress K.'s thigh harnessed strap on until I have achieved a true anal orgasm without stimulation to my cock.  Being in that position, facing my beautiful Mistress while fucking myself with total abandon would be (is) awesome.

2. 

OK, this requires a few words to explain.  Mistress K. has just launched the first meeting of a newly discovered talent ... mentoring other wannabe Dominant Wives.   There are 5-6 women listening to her wax eloquent about the finer points of happiness that can be achieved in a loving FLM/FLR.  I am kept naked and serve as the domestic help for the "party.  Taking coats when guests arrive, serving drinks and food, generally attending to the needs of Mistress and her guests.  Mistress calls me into the room to demonstrate some things, none of which I am prepared for.  She instructs me to masturbate myself to the edge of orgasm 5 times, in order for the soon-to-be dominant wives to witness a self-induced tease and denial.  On my 4th attempt to reach the edge I fail, and go over the edge.  Knowing that I am not able to prevent ejaculation, I stop all stimulation and 4-5- seconds later I proceed with my involuntary, absolutely unauthorized ruined-orgasm as my seed spills all over wood floor beneath me.  I look at Mistress Sheepishly and glares at me for a moment and like true professional, tells the attendees "Ladies, our demonstration will be taking a new direction.  AS you can see, my husband was careless enough to allow ejaculation to happen without first having asked for and receiving permission to do so.  In our marriage, his ejaculations are owned by, are very sacred and my never be taken without authorization.  You will get a bonus demonstration on what happens when your husband disappoints". 

She orders me to retrieve her leather paddle from our bedroom.  While I'm gone I hear one of the students ask Mistress K., "isn't he supposed to clean that up with tongue?", pointing to my mess on the floor.  Mistress K. replies, if that's what you want from your husband dear, then yes, that is what he is supposed to do.  I haven't yet found the desire to have my husband do that.  Perhaps someday, but not today. 

I return with the addle and Mistress gives me the hardest spanking I have ever received from her.  Partly because I reflected poorly upon her by not being able to control my ejaculation, and partly because Mistress had an audience of eager, young, inexperienced wives, and she wanted to impress.

When my hard, hard spanking was complete, Mistress ordered me to turn around and face her and her guests.  She stood and walked toward me, explaining to her guests that there still another "bonus" feature that would be demonstrated as a result of my failure to comply with her rules.  The "benefits of ruined orgasms and why they should be the overwhelmingly preferred method of orgasm for a submissive husband."  She went on to ask the ladies, "how many of your husbands currently lose all interest in sex after the have cum?"  Every hand gets raised.  "During this time of lack of interest, how many of your husbands fail to demonstrate their desire for you, as if they somehow have a reason (excuse) to not have to show you affection and desire.  Again, every hand gets raised.

Mistress continued on .... "Ladies, my husband is in a nearly constant state of desire and as such, I am able to enjoy the kind of affection and desire from the man I love most in this world.  I believe, no, I know that the source of this constant of desire is the orgasm control we practice.  Last year my husband was allowed only 5 orgasms all year.  Yet he will tell you that his sex life has never been better in his entire life.  Right honey?"  Yes Mistress.

"The last thing I want to demonstrate to you ladies that most men are able and eager for sex immediately following a ruined orgasm.  Let me demonstrate.  Pet, please get up on the kitchen table and lay on your back."  Mistress pulls out a chair and scoots her seat closer toward my re-hardening cock between my spread legs.  "see ladies, it's hard again and this man just had an ejaculation 10 minutes ago".  In a show of affection, Mistress kisses my cock then proceeds to stroke my cock firmly and lustfully until I explode with a full on orgasm.  After giving me only 15 seconds or so to recover, Mistress instructs me to "clean up my messes and see if any of our guests need anything for the rest of the presentation".  I resume my domestic duties role for the remainder of the evening.

1. 

There will never be anything more beautiful for me than to be in this intimate loving position while making love with my wife.  I remember the first time I was lucky enough to be able to make love to this beautiful creature that is now my Mistress Wife.  That first time, I remember the joy I felt, the rapture of doing something so intimate, so beautiful with this gorgeous woman, that I knew then and there that I loved this woman and wanted to spend the rest of my life her.  Now, every time Mistress allows me the honor of entering her body with my penis, I feel the exact same way.  I love you with everything I have Mistress K.!!

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

A peek into the future



Yesterday was a glorious day.  Mistress K. and I had a rare day all to ourselves while our kids were out for several hours.  Nothing "special" happened.  There was no uber exciting sexual activity.  It was a simple matter of being able to get a taste of what our daily home life will be like when we are empty nesters.

After the kids left, I began to remove my clothes to comply with out standing rule that I always be naked in her presence.  Mistress said "why don't you wait about 20 minutes so we can be sure that kids won't have to come back for something."  "Yes Mistress" was my instant and natural reply.

20 minutes later, I removed my clothes and presented myself to her as she sat on the couch indulging in a little binge-watching of her favorite Netflix show.  She had me kneel before her and gently placed a kiss on my forehead and told me that she loved me.  Then she said she would like me to make her some breakfast, which I did.  It was "delicious" she said.  "Thank you pet", she said.

For the next 5 hours I went about my business futzing around the house, taking care of some small chores, filling her coffee cup when it got empty and just being our regular selves.  It was just so natural.  being naked while she relaxed in her PJ's and watched her show.  Every so often she would summon me to the back of the couch and would ask me to place my cock and balls in her upturned hand and rest it there for a few moments while she gently kneaded my balls in her hand. 

The entire time, although we both were keenly aware (and appreciative) that I was dutifully naked in her presence, it was all just so natural.  As if this is how our private time together should always be.  It was just so wonderful.

This morning, as I stand naked at the kitchen sink, looking outside at the beautiful Arizona weather, Mistress on her way to the office, the kids in school, butt plug firmly in it's every-Tuesday place, I couldn't help but smile and greatly appreciate what I have it.  What a wonderful existence I am blessed to have.  The phone rings and it is mistress on the other end.  She just wanted to call and tell me how grateful she is that we have this life together and how much she enjoyed having me in my "natural state" for those 5 hours yesterday. 

Life is good!



Friday, February 3, 2017

The source of happiness in a Wife Led Marriage

I came across this captioned picture.  Normally I think captioned pictures are generally lame or overly porn-like.  This particular picture, and more particularly the caption, captures the essence of what makes my FLM (and I suspect many, many others) a happy, loving union.


This accurately describes our life together before my submission was accepted by my Wife.  The numbers at the end of the caption aren't exactly accurate for us in that I was only allowed 5 orgasms all of last year, and 4 orgasms the year before that.  That being said, I have never been so happy with my sex life with the woman I cherish more than any other.  I DO worship the ground she walks on!

Thank you so very much Mistress K. for accepting my submission, for owning my sex and most of all my orgasms.  I cherish the collar you have placed on me.

Saturday, January 21, 2017

Denial is the most intimate form of affection

To a submissive husband in a loving Female Led Marriage, it very well may be.


Replace the words "unlock you" with the words "allow you to", and the above picture is spot on



Don't worry, I won't even try to explain why that is the case, because it defies logic.  Suffice it to say that the unmitigated lustful joy and pleasure that comes from being constantly brought to the edge of orgasm the most beautiful female human you have ever seen, and whom you love desperately, and then having her deny you an orgasm, brings me to a place of devotion and obedience and indescribable bliss.  I suppose that the biggest reason for this phenomenon is the existing knowledge of the undying lust that lives in your gut going forward.  It's what experienced gets you.  A direct contrast to the empty, lost and lonely feeling that was always associated with the post orgasm period during the days when I was allowed to orgasm whenever I wanted to.

Last night  ............  We were watching news stories that followed the day of inauguration events, cocktails in hand.  We marveled at the stark contrast between the words, tone and scope of what was being reported as "news".   Oh well, no political rants here  .... that's what Facebook is for, right? 

Around 10pm, the effects of the vodka were making me sleepy, so I asked permission to go to bed, kissed my Mistress goodnight and slipped naked between the cold sheets.  I was asleep in no time.  I was awakened from my deep slumber by feeling Mistress K. climb into bed with me.  That always brings a smile to my face when I am awakened by feeling her get into bed for two reasons .... First, because I feel a true sense of gratitude and honor that Mistress K. allows me to occupy her bed.  (Sidebar:  I used to ask permission to enter her bed but don't anymore.  I don't know why that is.  I need to remember to ask permission every night before I enter her bed).  The other reason is the satisfied feeling my soul feels knowing that this creature has chosen me to be in her life.  ME!  She chose me!  How fucking lucky am I? 

There is always a few seconds of anticipation between the moment I feel her slide into bed, and when she will invariably kiss me goodnight or otherwise make contact with my body.  I am always so excited and honored whenever it is Mistress will enter the bed naked.  What an incredible feeling it to press my always naked body to hers. 

Back to last night ..... She slide quickly into bed I quickly discovered she was clothed in her pj's.  Not sexy pj's.  Warm pj's.  The small disappointment was quickly replaced by her warm hand lovingly rubbing my naked bottom, while she was  nuzzling my neck and whispering loving words into my ear.  My moans of delight let her know how much I loved the feeling she was allowing me to have.  Soon I was writhing.  Raising my ass off the bed, trying to chase the fingers she was teasingly running over my rear hole, and my cock and balls from behind. 

After a few minutes of that, I had recalled a recent comment by Mistress K. that there are occasional times that she wished I would not concern myself with obtain permission to engage her sexually, and to just initiate it.  She told me that I might be surprised as to how that might turn out.  Of course it would depend solely on her mood at that moment, and of course I would be subject to whatever her reaction to an aggressive sexual move on my part would be (I'd be fucking her hard, long and deep .... or I'd be getting spanked for thinking it was my place attempt to force sex on her without permission).

"This is one of those times when she wants to discretely give me control", I thought to myself.  So, I rose from the bed to my knees.  I pulled the sheets covers off of her and I said "I'm going to fuck you now, and your going to enjoy it!"  She grabbed my cock and starting stroking it.  I'm thinking to myself .... "YES", I'm about to be able to fuck my beautiful Mistress like the occasional fuck toy she wants to be.  When I began to forcibly remove her pj bottoms, she stopped and said "NO!".  She continued to lay on her back, legs spread, me naked and kneeling between them, and she resume stroking my cock.  She continue stroking my cock for a long time  (ok, 5 minutes, but that's a long time when such she is doing it fast and with an obvious intent to move in the direction of an orgasm for (be it actual, ruined, or denied). 

After being first brought to the edge, I told her I was going to cum and she said, "no you won't, because you'll be in trouble, but she kept stroking.  I was forced with having to decide whether or not it was her way of forcing a ruined orgasm upon me, or her way of testing my resolve to not ejaculate without permission.  I chose not to risk the unbelievable pain associated with being punished for ejaculating without permission, and pulled away from her hand.  She then said, "when you have recovered a little, you will fuck my hand again", as she held her hand in a semi-fist like state on her pj covered belly.  After a minute or so, I put my cock into her hand as if I were guiding it into her luscious pussy, and began humping her hand.  While do that, Mistress said that I was to continue fucking her hand to "as close to the very edge that you can get without going over, then you will rest, then you will do it again, and again, and again.


This went on for 30-45 minutes.  Toward the end I succumbed to my carnal desires and began to beg Mistress to allow me to cum.  Begging and begging.  Even though she loves it when I beg, and sometimes begging works, such was not the case last night.  I changed my tactic and then began to beg NOT for an orgasm, not even a ruined-orgasm, but rather the less-satisfying sounding "authorized ejaculation".  She instructed me to stop fucking her closed hand, looked me in the eye and said, "there will be nothing of the sort for you this night.  Do you understand?"  "Yes Mistress", I said.  She then said "good, now resume fucking my hand"

It was one of those unbelievable, unexplainable deep emotional moments where I feel every ounce of gratitude for my Mistress and for her decision to own me.  A short time later she grew tired of indulging me and simply pulled her hand off of my cock while I was humping it,  rolled over and informed me that she was tired and was going to sleep.  The delicious conflict of absolute peak of sexual desire, accompanied with absolute knowledge that such desire will be unsatisfied was coursing through my body as laid down behind Mistress K. spooned her close, held her tight and tried to drift off to sleep in spite of rock hard and throbbing erection. After about 45 minutes I think is when I was finally able to drift off to sleep, but not before having asked Mistress K. how awesome it must be to be the complete and utter owner of someone else' sex.  In her near-sleep state, she smiled, reached back and hugged me and whispered "YES" into her pillow. 


As I write this, it's 8am on Saturday and all I can do is wait with great anticipation for Mistress to awaken so that I can deliver her coffee, smell her first-thing-in-the-morning face and remind how much I am devoted to her.  How intimate is that?

Monday, January 16, 2017

Women



"I think women are foolish to pretend they are equal to men.  They are far superior and always have been. Whatever you give a woman, she will make it greater.  If you give her sperm, she will give you a baby.  If you give her a house, she will give you a home.  If you give her groceries, she will give you a meal.  If you give her a smile, she will give you her heart.  She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.  So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit"

-  William Golding, British Novelist




Especially redheads!





Saturday, January 14, 2017

Consumatted

There are things that ramble through the mind of someone like me.  An alpha male that is dominant in every aspect of his life ... except for one, and we all know what that one thing is.  The constant contrast between the two worlds that I exist in is glorious.  I love existing in each and I love "growing" in each.

One of my absolute favorite sexual activities is anal sex, both giving and receiving.  The primal nature is, well ............  RAWR!  I can't fully explain why I enjoy giving anal sex to my wife on the rare occasions that I am allowed to, except to say that it is among the most primal, intimate sexual acts that there is.  The arched back ... the deep sexual desire that is evident on her face ... the delicious struggle between a brief moment of slight pain followed by unbridled lust. When Mistress K. is in the kind of mood necessary for her to have anal sex, holy fuck .... she is an absolute sexual animal and without question there is nothing on this planet more exciting to see and be a part of than that for me.

I can explain why I enjoy receiving it so much (again, on the rare occasions that I am allowed to).  One reason, of course, is that we men have this little button in there called the prostate.  That's easy.  There other is I guess the same feeling that a girl would have being penetrated by someone that she loves very much. 

Long time readers know that Mistress K. and I renewed our original marriage vows on our 15th wedding anniversary and used the occasion to formalize our deeply loving Female Led Marriage .... and it was marvelous.  You can read about by cruising through previous posts if you are interested.  On that evening and since, I had hoped that we would consummate those new vows (our new marriage if you will) in much the same way that a traditional marriage is consummated ..... penetrative sex.  That was just over two years ago until 1 week ago, that penetrative consummation never took place, and when it did, I exhaled, even confessing to Mistress K. that it was the final element that I needed physically and mentally in our existing roles.

I won't go into the real intimate details of how she took me anally, but I will tell you that it was as beautiful a moment as I have experienced in our marriage.  It was love making and it was beautiful. 




As deep and glorious and safe of a level of subspace as I have ever experienced.  She was marvelous.  She was masterful.  She was as beautiful and loving and dominant as I have felt her to be and our love making was glorious that night.  I don't mind admitting that with her, I absolutely do love feeling like a wanton (and wanted) slut, and on this night, it was the pinnacle of that feeling.  Thank you so much Mistress K.  I sincerely do hope that it was a pleasurable enough experience for you to want to do it again.

Monday, January 2, 2017

Perfecting the orgasm





While perusing (OK, perving) some of my favorite sites today, I came across a small little sentence that was uttered on the "Only She Cums" Tumblr site.  If you haven't been on that site .... GO THERE ...  It's hot!  In a recent post, she was asked if she "ruined" him.  She replied with the following, extremely profound and insightful comment:  

I do ruin his orgasms, but I think perfecting them is a better way of looking at it 🌋💋.

This reply got me thinking.  It is absolutely true.  It's not the ruining of an orgasm, it IS the perfecting of an orgasm.  In previous posts, I have mentioned how it seems that a true, full-on orgasm for me has been forever altered.  If, for no other reason it is because I have been conditioned to prefer, ask/beg for denial of a full on orgasm because I have been conditioned to prefer the joy of a constant state of arousal.  After a full-on orgasm, that constant state of arousal takes a backseat and remains there for a couple days at times.

Mistress K. and I never set out to recondition my mind, my spirit, my desires.  It just seemed to work out that way.  I've often spoke of the relative few amount of real orgasms I have/am allowed each year.  In 2016 I was allowed 5 full orgasms.  1 of those was at 12:45 on January 1, 2016.  That one and 2 others were full orgasms that I was ordered to have because Mistress K. demanded that I do so.  One was a misunderstanding wherein I thought Mistress K. told me to cum while I was inside of her (she didn't) and the final full orgasm was one I was given a choice to have if I wanted to.  I did want to, and so I took it. 

One thing is certain .... my full orgasms are in no way shape or form similar to the orgasms I used to have before my glorious FLM.  They just aren't as good or intense as the used to be, and I don't know why that is, other than (I think) my body is learning how not to associate a full orgasm with a decrease in desire for Mistress K.  I can honestly say that the sheer, unmitigated joy and denied sexual pleasure I get from worshipping her body, being allowed to have my cock inside of her, witnessing her having an orgasm, etc., all without being allowed to ejaculate or cum ...... exceeds the pleasure that I get from having a full orgasm.  It is a reality that most people in society can't even fathom but like many others, I am encouraged at what seems to be a growing number of people that understand these and other benefits of a Female Led Relationship!

AS I write this it is in the morning of January 2, 2017.  At this time last year I had already had 1 full on orgasm.  Although Mistress K. blessed me with a incredibly HOT ruined orgasm at 1:45am on January 1, 2017, I do wonder how many full orgasms I will be required/allowed to have in the coming year.   Whether it is non, one or one hundred, I do know that I will continue to live in a state of bliss ..... in submission to my beautiful Wife.

Lastly, I was private messaged by a delightful person on FetLife and was asked what I thought was a good, simple question. 

He asked; "Of all the things that encompass your WLM, what is the one thing (there may also be others) thing that you feel is essential, if all other aspects were unavailable?" 

At first his question didn't make sense so through a series of clarifying follow-up questions, I understood him to wonder what I felt was the single most important ingredient to a successful FLM. 

My answer was:  "her complete control of any and all of my sexual gratification"

There was emphasis on the word "complete".  Before my FLM, I masturbated 4-7 times a week, in the shower, in the morning.  Over time, it had become my default method of sexual gratification, much to the detriment of my wife and marriage.  It wasn't on purpose, it just happened.  Now .... if I were to masturbate without her knowledge and supervision, it would be akin to infidelity, and all the associated bad things that accompany that. 

I couldn't be happier!

Oh wait, before you go .....  I have been begging Mistress to allow me to purchase a Humbler for use in our alone time, be it for play or punishment.  Do you have experience?  What do you think?  The request to allow us to get one coincides with my asking her if she would consider more restraint/bondage/predicament play.  Who knows, maybe it's just a phase.



Happy New Year everyone!