Thursday, June 14, 2018

Fear and sometimes loathing ...........

Fear comes in different forms, of course.  Recently and currently I've been subject to two different kinds of fear, and as is usually the case, one form of fear is directly to and comes from the other. 

In this context, the fear I experience was because I had previously printed out the vows that I wrote for Mistress K. when we had used the occasion of our 15th wedding anniversary to have our, well collaring ceremony", for the lack of a better description.   (I'll be happy to share those vows .. just ask email a note and provide an email address)  I had every intention of handing to Mistress K., the printed version of the vows that wrote for her for that beautiful day.  As is sometimes the case, I got distracted and left sitting on the desk, next to the computer monitor.  You know, so I wouldn't forget to give it to her. 

Well ..... I forgot to give it to here ... and there it sat.  For all the world to see.  Not just all-the-world-to-see, but specifically our children and theirs friends to see.  You see, the day following my printing of the vows, Mistress and I left town for the weekend, while the teenage children stayed at home.  Mistress discovered the printed version of the vows, laying there in all its glory, out in the open, for all to see.  Again, by all I specifically mean our children and their (lots of) their friends that paraded through the house while were gone.  FEAR .... Oh my fucking God!  Did our kids actually read our Collaring Ceremony Vows?  Holy shit.  Did they actually see that dad wrote words, promising mom that she could punish dad however she deemed appropriate.   FEAR .... 

We don't actually know if our kids (or their friends) saw the vows.  We don't think the did because frankly, and lets be honest, kids would not be able to act like they didn't see something like that, and fool their parents.  Yet the FEAR remains that they may have read them.   FEAR .... Oh my god -  FEAR.

The other kind of FEAR that I am currently wallowing in is the anticipation of what has promised to be a severe, painful spanking!  FEAR!!!  Mistress K. was not at all happy that my careless actions led to the potential of our private, intimate life was essentially on display for all to see.  NOT AT ALL HAPPY! 

I've written about how much I cherish the fact that I am married to the Mistress of my dreams.  That my Mistress Wife loves me enough to spank me.  To demand and expect for me to bare my bottom at her command, at her whim, whenever she believe it is warranted ... or even if it isn't warranted.  The depth of trust I have for this woman allows me to want to please her to no end, and to accept whatever correction measure she deems appropriate to make me a better slave husband.  That said, there are times when I know, I can tell that the punishment I will receive will be a very, very hurty-type of spanking.  This is one of those times I am afraid, especially since we recently had a discussion about the benefit of "spanking to tears", which is something we have never done.  I'm nervous to say the least, but I am also ready to receive what is coming to me.  Even though that fucking leather paddle hurts like fuck, there is such a deep emotional re-connection I have with my beloved Mistress that begins one second after the final swat stings my red ass. 

At the end of the day, I just hope she isn't angry enough to require me to wear my chastity cage!


  1. the justin timberlake song sexy back was on the radio recently while my wife and step daughter were in the car together. the line i'll let you whip me if i misbehave caught my step daughter attention. she said i wish xxxx (my name) would let us whip him if we thought he misbehaved

    my wifes heart was in her hands. did she know had she guessed. did she see or hear something we didnt want her to? she laughed it off as oh yeah that would be interesting.

    nothing has been said since but i can appreciate where you are coming from with being found out.

    it did open up a fun tease we tell her. and tell her she can tell one other person. what would she do with or to me? who would she tell? what would they do? she is very close to my wifes sister what would she say when she found out aunty already knows?

  2. the anecdote and your fear makes me wonder about some of the outward things we do. would the kids figure it out? i have an apron with a sports team on it. so manly i guess but its still an apron. my wife will hand me the apron and say dishes i think. we are going to watch tv. or toilets tonight please...she and daughter then go relax. men share the chores these days so big deal but does daughter figure us out as mom typically relaxes with her while i work around the house

    is that to outward?

  3. To put it mildly you screwed up big time. You should have saved it some place until you were really ready to give it to her. My thoughts were maybe your kids seen it, but I don't think any of their friends seen it, mainly because your kids would be too embarrassed if their friends knew what mom and dad were up to. So if your kids seen it they would have hidden or thrown it away. I think you are safe this time.

    1. I don't think the kids found out either archedone. Their pretty good actors, but something like what was on that piece of paper would definitely show in their faces.

  4. Hi Sub hub, oh no, I can understand your fear as to whether the kids saw it. I do wonder if they would say anything if they had seen it.

    The anticipation of a punishment spanking is definitely not fun, I feel you. I hope it is over quickly for you.


    1. Hello sweet girl. I am absolutely convinced that if they did see it ... we'd both know!

      The spanking fear? Frankly, I've been craving a good, hard, lesson-learning spanking because it's been a while. I know, easy to say no, but spanking to tears and beyond might be in order.

  5. Wouldn’t it be nice if we lived in a world where a man’s submission was accepted as nothing out of the ordinary. I would love for the world to know that carrying my wife’ purse or walk-in a step behind her in public is a sign that I am owned by her and that I gladly submit to her authority over me. Just sayin.

  6. In My world, we have a saying that “it isn’t punishment until the boy wants it to stop”. This is an interesting opportunity for you both to consider the purpose of punishment in your relationship. Penance? Retribution? Behavior modification? Is there a chance you like severe spankings enough that they are not actually effective for one or some of those purposes? I’d suggest this situation tees up big questions about how your dynamic operates at this new level; the answers could be different than either of you anticipate. In most serious dynamics I know, true punishment is reserved for outright disobedience not honest mistakes, and the most severe form is a creative response that consists of things the boy dislikes (often involving reduced or withdrawn attentions) and nothing he enjoys.
    Respectfully offered,

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  8. Great that you are back to blogging. Started to worry about you. Glad to hear that things are continuing. Please continue to keep us informed.

    A goal of punishment is to atone for bad behavior and change the bad behavior. I must admit that as a submissive man I do have a desire to be punished by my wife. She has come to realize that. She has solved that problem by making the punishment aversive for me - it only becomes a punishment when I want it to stop, and that is precisely when my punishments begin. Instead of a dozen spanks, she gives me 50; instead of 30 minutes in the corner she normally has me do at least 90. We have both come to learn the nature of punishments, and for both of us they have had the desired effect.


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