Saturday, May 17, 2014

Spanking Happened

A few minutes ago.  Mistress had me worship Her tummy while kneeling naked before Her.  She informed me that i was about to be punished.  She also said that She was aware that punishments have been coming for some time and that they just hadn't happened for one reason or another, and that such a scenario was not going to continue.  She informed me that W/we will begin a new regimen that will mandate punishment must be delivered within 48 hours of Mistress having declared that a punishable infraction has occurred.  It is my responsibility to keep track of punishable infractions and also my responsibility to let Mistress know when the 48 hour deadline is approaching. If W/we should allow the 48 hour time period to elapse, it, in and of itself will be considered n additional infraction.

Part of O/our problem lately has been associated with the hectic schedule that O/our family has been under lately.  Nothing bad, just hectic normal life. When real life does this to U/us, it puts a hurdle up for U/us to do the things that W/we feel W/we must do in order to maintain balance in our FLM.  Hurdles that W/we just sometimes can't get over.  Punishment spankings is just one area that suffers from the burdens (hurdles) of real life, which is why i suspect that Mistress has implemented this new rule.

The spanking that i received this morning was intended to "clear the slate".  In recent posts, i had mentioned that i was anticipating a severe punishment spanking for all the infractions that have built up over the past 3-4 weeks (since my last spanking).  It happened, it stung, it was uncomfortable and it reddened my ass good, but to be honest, it felt like a drive-by spanking.  I could even call it wonderful because midway through the spanking She also edged me several times. At first i thought she was going to stroke me to orgasm before getting into the heavy part of my spanking because, well, getting spanked immediately after an orgasm is the WORST!  Afterward, with Mistress hurrying to get out the door to attend to real life, i mentioned to Her that i think we have some unfinished business.  She said She didn't have time to discuss it (obviously) but that W/we would discuss it. 

In my mind, the unfinished business is a discussion on what a true punishment spanking ought to be.  Mistress is a kind, loving soul and if i am to be honest here, i know that she will "spare the pain" in direct correlation to the amount of complaining i may do when being spanked.  It hurts.  It's supposed to hurt.  But with recent punishment spankings, when it is over, i often immediately felt that i somehow got off easy.  It isn't my conscious intention to manipulate the type, amount and severity of the spankings that i get, but i know it happens.  When Mistress and i have the chance to discuss the unfinished business, i feel that i need to tell her that the punishments i have been receiving have been mostly token in nature and that if i am to truly be trained into corrective behavior, that the punishment should probably be much more severe.  Perhaps even some sort of ritual should be involved in order to enhance the intended effect of corrective punishment.  Mistress has also mentioned in the past that She feels the use of my chastity cage will mostly be used in administering punishment.  She feels that it is no longer needed in order to enforce chastity because chastity has been maintained without need to deny access to "Her" cock.  As recently as last night (when i was acting like a pissy bitch), She suggested that it might be time to lock me up. 

I've thought about this long and hard and have come to the conclusion that if i am to be honest to my Mistress (which is the only acceptable way to be), i need to let Her know that the level of severity in my punishments should probably be increased to something well beyond what either of U/us are accustomed to.  Some have said that true punishment spanking doesn't even begin until significant begging for it to end starts.  Other believe it does end until the spankee is brought to a level of emotional awareness (usually accompanied by tears) that truly allows the feelings of guilt and shame to have washed away.  I don't actually know because honestly, i've never been brought to that extreme.

This is crazy.  It already hurts but i know that if the punishment does not provide incentive for corrective behavior, than i am being dishonest with my Mistress which is something that cannot ever happen.  Ever.  It hurts now, but in my heart i know that the types and severity of spanking punishments i receive have mostly only been in the discomfort area and i may have possibly (unintentionally) been able to convince Mistress that i have received enough because of the fear i may have had at that particular moment about getting spanked further.  She has a right to expect complete honesty from me.  She has the right to know.

I love my Wife, my Keyholder, my Mistress, my Goddess more than anything and above all else, i know She is entitled to honest communication from me


  1. Hi,
    So finally spanked! Well.....agony has finished.
    In my opinion there's nothing wrong about being sincere to your Mistress, in fact that's how it should be, and telling Her you've not been spanked as you should. What you should be careful about is the way you suggest Her the issue. I think you have to be honest but be careful with the means. Think about the way in order fo Her not to feel you are directing the orchestra.....cause if She feels so......She can feel She is being told what She has to do and how She has to do attention to that.

    Good luck!

    Mistress A.

    1. Mistress A., I absolutely agree. There would be nothing worse than topping from the bottom. Believe me when I tell you that the last thing I logically should want is more significant pain on my ass when being spanked, because it hurts. At the end of the day, if Mistress wants to punish me with a soft pat on the bottom, or an all-out, bruise inducing paddling, it is entirely up to her .... and I know that.

      Thank you so much for commenting!

  2. I completely and utterly get what you're saying, really I do. But there's something you said "if the punishment does not provide incentive for corrective behavior" that has me thinking. Personally, I don't feel that punishment is about "incentive for corrective behavior" rather punishment is about saying "you did something wrong, here's the result of that, now let's move on (until it happens again, lol)" If you don't feel like you've paid your "dues" (and you are still feeling guilty about all your infractions) then maybe a different kind of punishment is in order, but if you are looking for incentive to behave...well...that's got to come from inside you, not from your Mistress' hand.

    Either way, it's good that you're talking about it! I'm not always great about talking...

    Hope I didn't offend you in anyway!

    1. Thank you Misty, and of course not, you did not offend in any way. I so appreciate that you cared enough to comment.

      As far as the use of the word incentive goes .... I totally get what you mean, and yes, I agree, the punishment is the penance for something that I did (or didn't do) that displeased Mistress. Your observation is very apt!

      I wasn't trying to suggest that an incentive to behave was needed, because it does (and has to) come from inside me. I know that, and I know how important that is. The corrective part does come from her hand ..... when it is holding her pink leather paddle! *smile

      I guess when it's all said and done, i'm probably feeling guilty that I may be over-selling how much her spankings hurts, in order control (from the bottom) how much punishment I am to receive.

      Love you blog Misty. Thanks for commenting on mine!

  3. I admire your courage to be honest.


    1. Hi appy. Nice to see you chine in.

      I suspect that the result of this is that I can expect more significant real pain inflicted on my ass in my punishments. That being said, i'd rather have that than the lingering, and growing feeling that I may have not been totally honest with Her, and that feeling is worse.

      Thank you so much for commenting. Hope all is well in your world.

  4. I personally feel that if you feel the spanking punishments are not severe enough to help you feel properly punished then you should tell her. It is possible that she couldn't physically punish you that way severely enough to make you truly feel deep inside that you suffered enough, at least maybe not without causing you actual harm. However, what it really boils down to is did she feel she has punished you enough? Good behavior cannot be enforced only by punishments, it does primarily have to come from one's own desire to be pleasing and submissive. However, punishments should be severe enough to teach a lesson and reinforce what is acceptable behavior and what is not. Personally if I had to keep punishing for the same time of offenses, I would get more and more severe, but then if it kept happening I would probably remove my slave's collar and make him earn it back.

    I think you need to be open with your wife as to how you are feeling though, but when she says you are forgiven and have been properly punished, you have to readjust your own mindset to ultimately doesn't really matter what you think, if she says you are properly punished and forgiven and it is done, it is time to move forward.

    I also wonder if maybe she could include some non physical punishments, like writing sentences, corner time, chastity lock up etc to help reinforce things if spankings are not getting through to you enough.

    1. Thank you Mistress Marie. Of course I will be (and have been) totally honest with Mistress about everything, and this is no exception. You are correct, at the end of the day it really does only boil down to whether or not she feels she has punished me enough.

      Yes, we have talked about non-physical punishments such as you mentioned, plus whatever ultimate punishment(s) she has in mind if ever she felt compelled to administer a really severe punishment. She has alluded to those and when asked what those might be, she only says that for my sake she hopes I never have to find out.

      My comments were probably mostly having to do with the guilt (I guess) I feel after the punishment is over that I possibly may have unnecessarily influenced her to end it sooner than she might otherwise. I know I don't consciously do that and try very, very hard not to ever top from the bottom. The level of severity in my spankings currently aren't anywhere near the point of doing actual physical harm and on only one occasion has there ever even been a small bruise that lasted for more than 1 day after.

      As always Mistress Marie, I appreciate your informative insight and your willingness to reply. Thank you again.

    2. What Mistress Marie said was a perfect way to put it!


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