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Monday, October 13, 2014

Our Ceremony is in one week

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Hello friends ........... I'm going to be asking for your help today if you don't mind.  Mistress K. and I will be renewing our original wedding vows and we will be doing so in distinct fashion by incorporating and therefore memorializing our FLM. 

What i would like to ask from you for you to let us know of your opinions/suggestion for things that might be used for all things surrounding the ceremony.  We will have a private ceremony and we will be accompanied only by an officiant that has become fully aware of our lifestyle and knows what the ceremony will include.  She is pretty awesome, is not judgemental and is looking forward to helping us consummate our "marriage" by officiating over the proceedings.  She will NOT be involved in any intimate activities whatsoever.  That was never the desire or intention.

We'd like your opinions/suggestions for things like:

  • What should Mistress wear during the ceremony?
  • What should subhub wear, if anything during the ceremony
  • Should subhub be allowed to accompany Mistress K. by being allowed to stand during the ceremony
  • What types of symbolic gestures should be included in order to properly demonstrate each others intentions and commitments towards each other.
  • Once the ceremony is complete, what ways should we consummate our revised union?
  • Are there any other suggestions that might be considered that we have considered.
Each of you has been wonderfully supportive of this blog and i try my best not to expect any of our reader to feel like they have homework to do, but if it occurs to you, perhaps you'd be interested in throwing out some suggestions or opinions.

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16 comments:

  1. This is a tough question because of all the options. For example; if it Mistress, the Officiant and you, you might keep the renewal very simple. If there will be a wedding party, Mistress, Best Attendent to Mistress, and other Mistress attendents; plus primary sub (you), and other sub helpers, and assembled supportive guests, then you can do a lot more.

    A basic option for almost any size renewal - Mistress wears anything She wants, as She will look great. you could be led into the ceremony by Mistess (or Her Best Attendent) wearing a wedding dress, or very transparent dress by a leash attached to your collar. During the vows, you could be disrobed one item at a time, related to a commitment you make to your Mistress. By the end you may only have on your collar, your chastity cage (it could put on during the ceremony), your garter, stocking, and high heels. Respective attendents could help Mistress change form Her entering outfit, to a more Dominent outfit; as you are being disrobed. you might be spanked or plugged during your vows. As you leave, Mistress should be leading you by your leash attached to either your collor or cage. If you have a receiving line, you should be kneeling beside Mistress and doing as you are told. For example you might be told kiss a guests feet, hand, or crotch. If you have a reception, Mistress may request you do anything, share anything, say anything. You will smiple comply. When you leave for your honeymoon hotel or home, you should be wearing a new outfit appropiate for wherever you are going.

    On the very simple side; you might be in a collar, cage, white stocking, heels, dress, and collar with leash. As always, Mistress always wears whatever She wants.

    Mistress can write the vows and seek your input, but in the end She decides. Have fun with the planning. Take your time. Writing out all the alternatives will be fun all by itself. Good luck - renewing your vows is excellent and very important.

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    1. Thanks so much for the wonderful suggestions my friend. The ceremony will be only Mistress, the Officiant and me. When we spoke about it last, Mistress was leaning toward me wearing a plug, my cage and possibly a leash. We'll see. I'll keep you posted.

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    2. With just the three of you, I suggest you start with the collar and leash. your plug, cage, garters, stockings, bra, heels, and dress can be added with each commitment during the ceremony. Have fun.....

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    3. Thanks DP. I'm not sure Mistress will opt for the symbolism of feminization. Not quite our thing even though she requires me to often wear panties ... like now as I am writing this. We'll see what she decides. I'm pretty excited for the big day.

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  2. This is a hard question, because whatever you do should reflect what your relationship means to each other -- and that is for you and no one else to say.

    As a general rule, I would suggest that whatever you do, it should mirror the perfect asymmetry of your relationship. She commands; you obey. You offer gratitude; she accepts. So the ceremony should include explicit commands by her, and the offering of gifts to her. What those commands and gifts might be is a deeply personal matter. But I am confident that if she asks herself what she wants from you, she will know what gestures she should command. And if you ask yourself what you would offer to her in gratitude , you will know what gifts you should present. The particulars do not matter as much as the intent behind them.

    As to whether you should stand or not -- that also depends upon the intent of your ceremony. Or, more accurately, Mistress K's intent. Does she wish to acknowledge you as a man who begins by standing by your side, recognized on one level as an equal who sacrifices, of his own free will, his standing as man? If that is her intention, then you might begin by her side, and then submit to a series of submissive positions that reflect your willing obedience and devotion to her happiness.

    I know that you are perhaps more interested in concrete suggestions. But I would find it presumptuous to offer any, as both the form and the ultimate meaning must emerge from the intentions of your Mistress, and your willingness to fulfill those intentions, with reverence and a deep commitment to the Noble Ideal -- service to women.

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    1. Thanks so much NI. Actually, Mistress and I are less interested in "concrete" suggestions and more interested in the lucid, well thought-out, thought provoking conversation that you have provided. For that we are thankful.

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  3. Let me add that it is an honor to be offered this opportunity to contribute to your sacred ceremony. And although I stand by my advice that the particulars of your ceremony are not as important as the intent, that they should come from your heart, I would also add this suggestion -- that your ceremony involve all of the senses: sight, sound, scent, taste, touch, and most importantly the energetic vibe that passes between a Mistress and her submissive.

    You should receive the power of Mistress K through each of these senses, each in its own way, and you should offer her pleasure through each of them as well. I recall, for example Mistress K's experimentation with perfume, and I wonder how the sense of scent might, in the context of your ceremony, bind you to her power, and deepen your commitment to the Noble Ideal.

    I honor that commitment.

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    1. Again, supremely useful conversation my friend.

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  4. I would love to help you with this sub hub but in truth what you wear during the ceremony and after is up to Mistress. Also what is said during the ceremony is up to Mistress. If I were in your position I would ask that she lead me to the alter with a collar and leash. As you exchange vows and you promise to obey her and give her your body, you might turn your back to her so she can insert your butt plug with a promise to not remove it until she gives permission. As more vows are spoken you would face her legs spread as she puts your cock cage on and locks it, telling her your cock now belongs to her to do as she wishes.
    Just my thoughts.
    archedone

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    1. All wonderful suggestions archedone. Thank you so much. I'm starting to get the impression that Mistress K. wants the more blatantly-kinky symbolic gestures to be for when we are left alone to consummate our commitments.

      Thank you as always for commenting.

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  5. Just reading through your ideas and the suggestions that have been made has me quite worked up. How I would love for my Mistress to have such a ceremony for our FLM. Thank you for allowing your readers to comment. I'm very excited for you and your Mistress.

    I approach it as to what would be consistent with such a marriage and how I would feel. I'd want it to be elegant. Mistress, it seems, should be dressed in a classic white wedding dress. I imagine she will have her own ideas about this, and not appropriate for me to make too many suggestions there. So what we are then to decide is the attire of the submissive. First a lovely satin collar, with a ring. A lace or satin Bolero jacket for the subhub. Covers little, allows Mistress to view the submissive's body, but adds a bit of something old. (I tried to share pictures, but they would not post--a link below. The top white jackets) I hope these work.

    http://fairyfiligree.blogspot.com/2010/05/bolero.html
    http://maviay12.blogspot.com/2011/05/cream-satin-shoulder-wrap-with-brooch.html

    I can see the benefit of putting the chastity cage on during the ceremony, but without it the submissive might have an erection, as in the photo, while walking down the aisle, and that would never do! So chastity cage in place; maybe a white bow at the base to decorate it. Now as to the shoes, (I don't imagine bare feet) so white high heels of course. It seems improper to wear heels without stockings--white. They then require a lovely lacy garter belt. I do like the plug idea; it adds a bit of sub-wiggle, likely only known to Mistress and of course prepares the sub for his later de-flowering as Mistress consummates the FLM.

    I like the symbolism of the sub walking in and standing before the officiant since he is doing this freely and willingly. During the ceremony he will be required to kneel and accept the leash, and other symbols of a FLM, and finally lead out by Mistress on her leash.

    Of course, far more important then the attire are the vows. I look forward to hearing all about those and the final choice of attire. So excited for you, Penney

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    1. Hi Penney, thanks for stopping by.

      I agree about when the chastity cage should be put on. I'm pretty certain that an erection will exist during the ceremony making putting it on impossible. I also like the idea of dressing it up a bit.

      I don't know if Mistress will be keen on the idea of feminizing me for the ceremony as it not a big part of our usual dynamic, with the exception of her requiring me to wear panties, as I am now. I guess I'll have to wait and see what she prefers.

      Truth be told, I do hope she has me wear my trusty glass butt plug. Like the cage, it think the symbolism is apropos.

      I know that at some point in the ceremony I will be kneeling for reasons I think we can all agree are obvious. Perhaps as part of a leashing ritual perhaps.

      We will each hear our vows for the first time at the ceremony. I am so excited for that part.

      Thank you for your support Penney.

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  6. I think the consumation should involve you getting taken by her strap on.

    I think it would be nice if you wore a cock device maybe leather and a collar and cuffs and a leash.

    Cant wait to hear more.

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    1. Mistress Marie, you're a Domme after my own heart. A boy can dream ... and speaking of dreaming, I'm hoping that will indeed happen. of course it will be entirely up to Mistress K. and whatever she decides will be sufficient to consummate our vows.

      We haven't decided yet, but my guess is that I will indeed be wearing my trusty ole CB6000 in addition to whatever else Mistress decides I should wear. It's an obvious symbolic thing to do, don't you think?

      Thank you as always for stopping by.

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  7. I happened to read the comment, which I assume was written by your wife under the "contributors' section. It says her interestes are: ".my interests are limited to being the Dominant Mistress Wife in a super-loving Female Led Marriage."

    That is your wife's interest. She wants to be the dominant and she wants a 'super-loving relationship with you.

    I would think that you'd want to think of those two things when you recommit. Having all the focus on your dress, whether or not you wear a plug, dress in women's clothing, get taken by a strapon later, etc puts the majority of the focus on the sexual part of your relationship - and yet sex is only one component of what makes the two of you remain lovers. I would think that there should be some type of acknowledgement by how you present yourself physically - e.g., your dress. It might be the wearing of a collar - that is, if you've already been collared. If you haven't maybe this ceremony might include that. If you have, I would assume you wear a collar of some type all the time. If you are collared, then maybe she walking with you leashed would seem appropriate - if you haven't then maybe arriving 'unleashed' and leaving 'leashed' would.

    I didn't know that you were into cross dressing so the high heels, dress, etc may not be something that either of you would deem important.

    I do think what you say is and it is there that you should focus. What do you want to tell her? What does she want to remind you? Apparently that has already been set as it sounds like you've been memorizing your vow to her already.

    Personally I knelt when Katie and I married but we were both dressed nice. I love looking at those pictures - we took them using a delayed setting on our camera set on a tripod. I gave her my all. She told me she accepted my all and stated her claim. It was all stated in a loving way - because we are lovers - and not done in a way in which she made comments that made me feel 'less'. I am not less. I am her most valued treasure - just as she is mine..

    What you do afterward? ..... I don't know - go out to dinner. Go dance - go have fun, do something you did when you were first married? - I mean this is a joyous occasion. I hope you let us in on what happened.

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  8. Now we're talkin .............. that's the stuff I'm looking for from my old buddy!

    I promise you, the (significant) majority of the focus in the ceremony will not be on how we dress, or what She/we/I wears. It was however, a majority of the focus for that post. Was just looking for ideas. Tings to consider.

    You are correct IH, we are not into cross dressing. The suggestion was from a commenter as if it was a forgone conclusion that all submissive men are cross dressers. I say this with a great deal of assertion and pride as I adjust the pretty pink lace panties that I am wearing under my super-manly clothes. *smile

    We never had any intention of letting outsiders define our ceremony, words or symbols. I did, however, hope that some information would be useful ..... and with friends like you, I was successful.

    Thanks bud!

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