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Monday, March 2, 2015

Ask Questions Month?

Like most of you, I enjoy coming across new things when cruising my favorite blogs.  I learn things.  Things like ... March is ask-me-questions" month?  Is that true? I guess so.  I know there are customs and trends that are intended to get people talking, posting, chatting and comment. 

So at the risk of assuming anyone cares, I'll play along and ask ... does anyone have any questions for me?  If so, I'd love to hear from you.

43 comments:

  1. Alright, SHiP, I'll play along.

    How did your FLR begin with Mistress S? Did you explain to her that you would be a submissive husband when you met? Did you even know what you were seeking at that time?

    Thanks!

    Scott

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    1. No, there was no idea or thought about a FLM or me being a submissive husband when we met. I was always an alpha male and in every part of my life I am dominant and in charge, except for one of course.

      One day Mistress asked (when we were vanilla) ... what will our life be like after the kids leave the nest. Will we still be into each other? Will we still love each other? Will we still want to have passionate sometimes kinky sex with each other, or will we be like so many other couples with nothing in common once the bulk of the parenting responsibilities are done?

      That got me thinking. I have always been madly in love with my wife and have always just loved being around her in general. Like many other couples, the hectic grind of living in suburbia, rasising kids and living the "American Dream" made it easy to gradually pull away from each other, even though neither ofus wanted that or even knew it might be happening. I'd masturbate in the shower 4-5 times a weeks, so my sexual needs were subconsciously being met and I knew that as a result, it got in the way of many love making sessions with my wife. it was just so easy say how tired we were. How busy we were.

      I came across some blogs and articles about Female Led Marriages. When the topic of orgasm control and true power exchange were discussed, the "benefit" discussed was automatic, genuine and a constant state of desire from the Dominant wife. I was lucky that early on in my research I came across thoughtful and intelligent word about FLR/FLM, not the porn fueled version.

      The whole idea seemed perfect. My wife and I already enjoyed being kinky with each other and the whole thing seemed like a natural course for our marriage. In the end, I mustered up the courage to reveal to my wife that I thought it would something for us to look into. I knew that she would have to feel that her role as Dominant Wife would need to be something she was innately comfortable, otherwise it would be a disaster.

      Thank you so much for those questions HerSubScott.

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  2. I do love this, its fun, ok

    1) is there something kink wise that you are keen to try, but your wife does not?

    2) What do you consider most important in keeping your relationship going from strength to strength?

    x

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    1. Thanks for asking tori. here goes:

      1) yes. I would love for Mistress to get a sensual massage. A real massage but also overtly sexual. Ideally that massage would be given to her by another woman and she would experience all kinds of sexual pleasure from it. I would prepare Mistress for her massage by ceremoniously undressing her, bathing her and otherwise preparing her for her massage . I would be present to witness but in a decidedly submissive role. In no way would I participate. I would have my chastity cage on. There would be a tether attached to my cage so as to restrict my movement from the spot I was required to be. Also, on an unrelated note, if I was to be honest, the idea of being required to consume my ejaculate is both terrifying and intriguing. She thinks it is gross, and frankly so do I, but the idea of being required to perform a function that I do not want to do as a demonstration of my commitment is exciting. My conscious mind says I don't want to do it, especially right after I have had an orgasm and I think about how awful it would be to have to do that right then. My subconscious mind tells me that it is a fitting requirement of submissive males, especially for those sub males in a loving, committed relationship.

      2) Communication, consistency and attention. Nothing is ever perfect. Real life has a way of upsetting our intentions and our schedules and sometimes it causes us to stray from what we both believe are very important and somewhat clearly defined roles in our marriage. There are times when Mistress is angry and will want or need to punish me right away, but can't. She will then declare that I am due for a punishment and sometimes, that punishment doesn't come for days, even weeks, and sometimes it doesn't come at all. We need to always set time aside for ourselves, whether it is to review our FLM, or our love for each other.

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    2. Thanks for replying, love your replies so thank you.

      Its strange having these fantasies that we dont find appealing but yet one still fantasies about it, i have some like that myself....i wander sometimes if curiosity will over take me and i will want to pursue said fantasies.

      Couldnt agree more with your other reply, so important to have communication and consistency i do thrive on those, just so important.

      x

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    3. Always love to hear from you tori! Thank you. And thanks for the friend invite on FetLife.

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  3. What is your favorite dish to cook?

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    1. there are two .........

      A seafood based, very creamy, cheesy alfredo-type sauce over pasta. It is awesome. Has bacon muchroom, shrimp, crabmeat, fish, clams sometimes. MMMMM

      The other is gourmet cheeseburgers. The secret is the bun. It needs to be buttered and then grilled on the BBQ. I mist-spray water all over the bun before grilling it and it comes out very, very soft, except for the part that was grilled. So many varieties that there are too many to mention, but they are yummy!!!

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    2. Seafood recipe, please? I did know that secret about the bun.

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    3. What? You don't like my seafood recipe? If you had the chance to eat you'd feel differently. *smile

      Thanks for asking Hs.

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    4. I'm asking for the recipe so I can make it.

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  4. ooo-eeer all those questions and answers..thanks for sharing SHiP..I like that nic for you.

    Has Dominance (you) ever been attractive to you. Have you explored this side of yourself?

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    1. Yes, Dominance (me) has always been something that I have had an interest in. In fact, that part of it was coming that I knew i would have to come to grips with in terms of offering my submission to my beautiful wife in the first. Prior to our FLM, we would occasionally play kinky and a good number of those occasions had me being the Dominant one, and her being the beautiful, willing and compliant submissive. Those are wonderful memories.

      That being said, Mistress and i have discussed this in the past. Knowing that there was at a faint submissive heartbeat that exists in Mistress K., and knowing the unmitigated joy that can come from being deeply immersed in subspace and in giving up control, Mistress and I have an agreement that she shouldn't necessarily be denied the opportunity to play the submissive part just because she has accepted my submission, or because i wear her collar. We have a clip that hangs on Mistress' panty drawer. Our arrangement is that if Mistress ever feels the desire to TEMPORARILY assume the submissive role, she would simply remove it and place it on my "panty" drawer. That would be a silent indication that required no words, telling me that as her submissive, she would telling me that she desires to role-play a bit. Even so, if I were to assume the Dominant role, it would be role play and it would with the full knowledge that it was only temporary.

      All that being said, I am a follower and frequent commenter on blogs and other sites that feature Male Dominant/female submissive themes for a reason I'm sure.

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  5. Have you considered wher you would like to explore next? Is cuckholding still on the table? What about Mistress "sharing with a friend (or a couple)"? Where would you like to be headed?
    mike

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    1. We haven't really explored where or what we might want to "do" next. We are pleasantly enjoying our journey on the path we are on, knowing that as things occur in our respective minds, we'll consider them.

      Cuckholding was never really on the table so to speak. I'm pretty certain my tender heart would not be able to handle watching another man enjoying my wife sexually.

      I would absolutely enjoy sharing or being shared with a friend, or even a couple. I know that whenever mistress Marie shares stories (and now pictures) of her/their time with her FLM friends, I read and look with rapt attention. This is one of the hardest things about what we do. Although has a BFF that knows about our lifestyle, she really doesn't have someone to talk to about things. I would love to be displayed by Mistress for a spanking or ???. That would only happen if we were in a place that we don't know anyone and probably only if it happen spontaneously. I would so love to be able to allow Mistress to demonstrate her dominance publicly and would work very hard to make her proud.

      I want to be headed in whatever direction continues to deepen our love for each other. That might sound corny but really, it is the only reason we do this.

      Thank you so much taking the time to ask mike.

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  6. I would like to know how you and Mistress K met?

    How do you handle your FLR with kids in the home? Do the kids get the idea that Mom is in charge and Dad is subserviant or are you able to pull it off and have them be oblivious to it? I don't have that aspect? What about all the friends ans neighbors you socialize with?

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    1. Mistress K. and I met at work. I was her boss and over a period of time, we fell in love.

      We handle our FLR at home in a clandestine manner when the kids are around. The kids do get the idea that Mom is in charge, but not in an overt, unnatural way. Dad never appears subservient but rather always appears cooperative and in support of Mom's preferences and desires. It is very similar with friends and neighbors. Mistress never emasculates me and has no desire to allow me to be perceived as anything other than strong (even dominant) in a social setting. There are times that my perceived dominance in social settings can earn me a punishment for coming off as disrespectful.

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    2. Kinda hot that you started as her boss and now she's the boss of you! I think you two are handling the kids and friends issue quite well. That is how I see things with David too. Select people know he is my slave but the rest don't need to know. We still act much like any normal couple.

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    3. yeah ... looking back on it, I was most definitely the dominant one at the fledgling stage of our relationship. Even so, I knew then that she at least owned my heart and I guess being lucky enough to recognize has led us to the place we are now. It's been a great journey and excitement about the rest of journey only continues to grow. I'm a lucky man. I wish the same for You and david!

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  7. Don't forget to change out my blog address on your sidebar feed :)

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    1. I don't know how to do that. I went into my settings and stopped following you old site .................

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    2. When you open that gadget you can remove the link to my old site and then add my new link.

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    3. I did your new to my list of site that I follow, removed your old site. What I don't know is how Google chooses what appears in the side bar.

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    4. I had a blog roll gadget on my side bar that let me add blogs I was following but also had means to let me add links to other blogs lile wordpress or tumblr

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    5. I'm familiar with gadget but can't figure out how display my favorite blogs. I'll get there!

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    6. Mistress Marie, I think I have figured it out and your are now very proudly displayed among the list of blogs that I enjoy following. Take a look and let me know if you can see it there too.

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    7. I still see my old blog. Hmmm.

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    8. Guh. I kinda feel like I'm in trouble. I'll get right on it!

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    9. Mistress Marie, I did see that your old blog was featured, but so was your new blog, which is in full view on the right side of this page under "Blogs that I Follow". Please let me know that you see it that way as well.

      Forgive the delay and incompetence.

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  8. Some very good questions sub hub. I know you are submissive and would accept what Mistress desires but what are your feeling on her sharing you in spanking. On her giving you your cum, being submissive if she has it on her finger and puts it to your mouth as a submissive you will open and take it. I had the same feelings you are having now before the first time now I don't mind it.
    archedone

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    1. Hi archedone ......

      I would absolutely love it if Mistress "shared" me in a spanking. It's a very understandable fantasy but the true comfort comes from being able to completely trust Mistress to share appropriately, even though I can't tell you what that specifically means.

      If Mistress were to gather some of my cum on her finger and present it to me to open my mouth to accept ... of course i would. It isn't a hard limit and even though it isn't something that we have done in the past or negotiated, in the absence of it being a hard limit, I would never "refuse" Mistress. It would go against everything I believe in.

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  9. Vanilla question: How do you manage your career and your submission/service to your Mistress K when conflicts arise?

    Kink question: I know you have role played as Dom in the past but have you ever spanked your Mistress K?

    Love reading all your answers =)
    Hope Mistress K and you are enjoying each other well!!!

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    1. Thanks so much Pearl. Yes, Mistress and I are both enjoying each other very well and very much, even with our busy lives!

      Vanilla answer ... Mistress K. has made it clear that if there is a conflict between my servitude and my career, my career takes precedence. Fro example, if Mistress K. were to summon me home for any reason (like a punishment or sex), if what I am doing at work absolutely prevents that, then it is postponed. I love her for that. It is a way for us to maintain balance in our lives. The same is true for family (or even social) requirements that either of us may have. We happily adjust.

      Kink answer ... Yes, I have spanked Mistress K. when we role played. That has not happened since we entered into our loving FLM however. I fondly remember one particular time when we were roleplaying and she was naked, wrists cuffed and secured to a hook that positioned above the door. She was blindfolded with her back to the door and after having been teased in that position for some time, she was told to turn and face the door because she was going to receive a spanking. The most memorable thing that happened was she gave an audible, whimpering sigh of delight that expressed both her fear and excitement of what was about to happen to her. She got a pretty sound spanking that time. It was a very memorable moment in that she was clearly lost in the desire of her submission. Something I will never forget. I have an erection this very moment thinking about it. She was the epitome of the most beautiful, vulnerable, willing, sexy submissive you could imagine.

      Thank for taking the time and having the interest to ask those questions Pearl.

      XO

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  10. Hi sub hub, really enjoyed reading this. Such great questions and loved your answers!

    If you could vacation anywhere, where would it be?

    What is your favourite non-kink thing to do as a couple?

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. Hi Roz. Thank for taking the time to ask your wonderful questions. I really do appreciate it.

      If I could vacation anywhere, it would be somewhere tropical and beachy, at a very exclusive, very high-end resort that was Femdom themed, where we could openly display our FLM relationship. I don't if such a location exists, but it would be awesome!

      My favorite non kink thing to do with my Wife is to travel. I just love being with her in general and to be with her in areas where we can explore is just so special. A close second is to be in bed with her each night. I can't tell you how much I enjoy and what an honor for it is just be in bed with her each night.

      Thanks again Roz!!

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  11. Questions for your Mistress K:

    First of all, hello subhub's Mistress K, thank you for sharing him and your love story with blogland. =) I didn't expect to find a friendship with a male sub who loves his wife/Mistress as deeply as I love my Husband, my Man.

    Ok, my question is, how did you tell your bestie about your FLM? Did you give away little bits at a time or just jump right in and tell her? Do you ever regret telling her or is it in your heart for more people to know?

    And, what aspect of being the Domme that is/was most difficult for you?

    Thanks subhub's Mistress K!!

    XOXO Pearl

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    1. Pearl, I have a message to you specifically from Mistress K. First, she apologizes profusely for not having responded to your email. She feels just terrible. She feels equally bad and embarrassed for not having responded to the others (Mistress Marie in particular) that have reached out to her personally in her email account. Mistress K. does not monitor her email account and it's because she doesn't want to, but more because she is just not accustomed to using it and engaging in this blog as much as she would like to be able to do. Please accept her apologies.

      That being said, she also wanted you to know that she does intend to respond to this question. As a result of your asking her a questions directly, she has asked that I send her the questions directly, she will pen a response to each and have me reply with her exact response here.

      I'm so excited that you decided to reach out to Mistress K. directly. She is excited too, and very much flattered.

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    2. CORRECTION: I originally said: Mistress K. does not monitor her email account and it's because she doesn't want to

      I meant to say: Mistress K. does not monitor her email account and it's NOT because she doesn't want to.

      Sorry. The omission of one word make s a HUGE difference.

      Delete
  12. Wow so many great questions!
    I'll try one as well...

    After "officially" entering the role of the submissive , were you ever fearful that your then vanilla wife would think of you as less of a man?
    If the answer is yes, then how have you dealt with that?

    SK♥

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    1. HI subkitty and thank you for your wonderful question. Its a good one!

      I did have the concern that living in a loving FLM might eventually lead to Mistress looking upon me as something less than the strong confident man that she loves very much. We talked about that very thing in the beginning (when I first approached Mistress about my desire to submit to her in our marriage). We both are on the same page about that and she has no desire to diminish any of "manliness" as a result of her leadership. Instead she only desires to be able to harness it in such a way that it wont diminish but rather grow in all aspects of my life, including in my submission to her. Sure, she has me wear panties from time to time, but does not dot hat in order to feminize me. She does it because she loves the idea that I am willing and eager to do it as a symbolic gesture of my willingness to submit to her.

      That being said, if I were honest, I will probably always keep an eye on that concern for fear that someday, if our natural path were to take us to appoint where Mistress felt she needed or just wanted to take on another male lover because she felt she was being satisfied enough in her ever growing dominant state. I would be the worst cuckhold ever because of my tender hart when it comes to Mistress K. An ironic dilemma that exists in my chastity and orgasm control/denial is that when it comes giving Mistress the kind of rough, hard fucking she wants and needs often, I am more apt to have to stop sooner than she wants for fear of cumming. We overcome that most times with using desensitizing spray and a penis sleeve, but still ........ that takes some forethought.

      What great questions! Thank you.

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    2. Thank you for your very insightful answer!!

      SK♥

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