Thursday, June 14, 2018

Fear and sometimes loathing ...........

Fear comes in different forms, of course.  Recently and currently I've been subject to two different kinds of fear, and as is usually the case, one form of fear is directly to and comes from the other. 

In this context, the fear I experience was because I had previously printed out the vows that I wrote for Mistress K. when we had used the occasion of our 15th wedding anniversary to have our, well collaring ceremony", for the lack of a better description.   (I'll be happy to share those vows .. just ask email a note and provide an email address)  I had every intention of handing to Mistress K., the printed version of the vows that wrote for her for that beautiful day.  As is sometimes the case, I got distracted and left sitting on the desk, next to the computer monitor.  You know, so I wouldn't forget to give it to her. 

Well ..... I forgot to give it to here ... and there it sat.  For all the world to see.  Not just all-the-world-to-see, but specifically our children and theirs friends to see.  You see, the day following my printing of the vows, Mistress and I left town for the weekend, while the teenage children stayed at home.  Mistress discovered the printed version of the vows, laying there in all its glory, out in the open, for all to see.  Again, by all I specifically mean our children and their (lots of) their friends that paraded through the house while were gone.  FEAR .... Oh my fucking God!  Did our kids actually read our Collaring Ceremony Vows?  Holy shit.  Did they actually see that dad wrote words, promising mom that she could punish dad however she deemed appropriate.   FEAR .... 

We don't actually know if our kids (or their friends) saw the vows.  We don't think the did because frankly, and lets be honest, kids would not be able to act like they didn't see something like that, and fool their parents.  Yet the FEAR remains that they may have read them.   FEAR .... Oh my god -  FEAR.

The other kind of FEAR that I am currently wallowing in is the anticipation of what has promised to be a severe, painful spanking!  FEAR!!!  Mistress K. was not at all happy that my careless actions led to the potential of our private, intimate life was essentially on display for all to see.  NOT AT ALL HAPPY! 

I've written about how much I cherish the fact that I am married to the Mistress of my dreams.  That my Mistress Wife loves me enough to spank me.  To demand and expect for me to bare my bottom at her command, at her whim, whenever she believe it is warranted ... or even if it isn't warranted.  The depth of trust I have for this woman allows me to want to please her to no end, and to accept whatever correction measure she deems appropriate to make me a better slave husband.  That said, there are times when I know, I can tell that the punishment I will receive will be a very, very hurty-type of spanking.  This is one of those times I am afraid, especially since we recently had a discussion about the benefit of "spanking to tears", which is something we have never done.  I'm nervous to say the least, but I am also ready to receive what is coming to me.  Even though that fucking leather paddle hurts like fuck, there is such a deep emotional re-connection I have with my beloved Mistress that begins one second after the final swat stings my red ass. 

At the end of the day, I just hope she isn't angry enough to require me to wear my chastity cage!

Monday, May 7, 2018

Love is ........

“Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.”  

-   Robert A. Heinlein

It's what love is .............

Sunday, April 29, 2018

Hi everyone! I love my life.

I sincerely hope everyone is doing well.  I do miss "seeing" and chatting with you, and hearing about your amazing lives and experiences.

Like if Phoenix, Arizona is good.  We are on the doorstep of it being Hot As Fuck for a few months, but that's ok because it means spending time the White Mountains of Arizona, fishing, golfing and doing summer.

Life with my beautiful Mistress Wife is wonderful as well.  We continue to grow while dealing with life, kids, work, etc., all of which puts significant pressure on the likelihood that me having an orgasm, ruined orgasm or even just a milking ejaculation.  It simply is necessary to be a high priority for Mistress K.  And that's OK, because for the current time being, it is how she desires things to be. 

We do have our less frequent moments of exiting in our normal D/s state.  Mistress will sometimes grab me on her way to the closet to get dressed, pull me into the bedroom for no other reason than to allow me 1-2 minutes of kneeling worship time of her naked body, before she covers it and begins her work day.  It's just so fucking awesome to be given that honor. 

On Wednesday night this past week, we were tired when we got into bed.  I was naked like I am supposed to be and when Mistress leaned over to kiss me goodnight, my semi hard cock touched her leg, causing her to grab it.  Of course when she grabbed, it grew, and it grew quickly.  I began to thrust into her hand, risking a punishment for attempting to have sexual pleasure without permission.  It was instinctive.  A few seconds later I stopped.  Mistress then said "keep fucking my hand".  I complied and in doing so, she was clearly getting aroused to the point where she said "get me my vibrator".  I jumped out of bed, retrieved the vibrator, got back into bed upright on my knees, handed her the vibrator and stayed in that position for my best view of her about to have an orgasm.  She placed the vibrator on her pussy with one hand, and extended her other hand in front of me.  After she found the spot on her pussy with the vibrator, she said "fuck my hand again".

It wasn't exactly like this picture because her hand was more closed, but you get the idea.  It was so fucking hot to be on my knees, next to and above my beautiful naked Mistress, writhing in the joy the vibrator was giving her, and essentially performing for her by thrusting into her hand.  I don't know why, but it was fucking hot!!!

In expected fashion, Mistress had a super deep, wonderful orgasm while used every ounce of strength to prevent having my own orgasm, which Mistress had already informed me wasn't going to be happening.  In her glorious after glow, and my breathing coming back to normal (I was successful in avoiding ejaculation), Mistress told me it was time to go sleep.  I put her vibrator away and settled in cuddle with Mistress.  Usually, being so fucking horny and denied will mean I will lay there for an hour or so with my mind racing about sexual release.  This night, I went right to sleep for some reason and off into dreamland.

When I woke up early the next morning ..... I was fucking horny!  Looking at some of my favorite tumblr sites I came across pictures that caught my attention, that for some reason never would've in the past. 

This ....

because of my then recently discovered desire to fuck Mistress's hand.  I'm thinking it is because it is a way for me to (at lest fantasize about) perform sexual for Mistress while she watches. 

This ....

because fuck, that's hot!!!!

This ....

Because, um, who knows?

This ....

Because being fucked at the same time as Mistress is just too incredible to think about.

and This ....

Because being emptied for Mistress K., by Mistress K. is the most incredible thing next to witnessing her orgasm.

OK, it's a SDunday morning and I need to go get ready for my day of chores

Sunday, April 8, 2018

How can this be exciting?

Ironically, I was explaining to Mistress K. about how happy and aroused with a recent (some might call ironic) episode we had together.  More like a non-episode really.  I was explaining to her how excited (and yes, even aroused) in recalling this past Thursday morning.  I was leaving town that morning right after Mistress left for work.  The night before in bed, she edged me 7-8 times ..... and it was so awesome, each time I was begging her to allow me to ejaculate, ruined-orgasm style.  (Notice I said ejaculate, and NOT orgasm?)I wanted it sooooo bad (still do).  When she was finally finished, she said, "we're done!  Go to sleep!"  Then a small giggle and said you've been a good boy.  Maybe you'll get to release your cum in the morning before you leave town.

Well, the following morning came.  Mistress woke up late.  She had a busy day ahead with client meetings scheduled for early and often.  That set off on the course of a shitty day.  Then, the outfit she planned on wearing was tight and making her feel uncomfortable and, her hair wasn't cooperating ... you get the idea.  Needless to say, there was ZERO interest in my desire, my "need" my craving to ejaculate.  It's as if the incredible desire for me to ejaculate was of zero interest or concern for her.  AS if whatever she was dealing with was way important than anything she may have felt I needed.

IN the past, Mistress K. may have otherwise felt a little bit of pressure to feel like the attention she thought I might need at that moment was something she needed to live up to.  Yes, she is my Dominant Mistress Wife, but she comes from a place of feeling obligated to give in to what she thinks I was hoping for ... you know, so as to not disappoint me.  

Not today.  She now instinctively did not even give it a second thought.  There was going to be NO attention paid to my perceived need for some sort of expected attention, let alone any release of my semen following the previous nights intense edging, and subsequent "promise" of release in the morning.  NONE!

Instead of me being disappointed at her lack of attention ... I was thrilled that she had zero intention if giving in to what she may have perceived I might need or want.  And, IT WAS AWESOME!  Weird, right?  No ... not weird.  Mistress has come into her own and has embraced to the instinctive understanding that it HER needs and wants at any given moment,  and NOT mine!

Friday, March 30, 2018

A phone call

My phone rang.  It was Mistress K.  She was on her way home from visiting a friend.  When I answered I heard ... "Two things.  Go put on panties and have a glass of wine poured for me when I walk in the door."  "Yes Mistress" was my simple reply.  She said "Thank you lover" and then hung up.

When she walked in the door 5 minutes later, of course her glass of wine was waiting for her and of course her slave husband was wearing panties.  The tiny lace thong panties did very little to contain the hardest and quickest erection I have in a long time.  I handed her the glass of wine and she told me to go wait for her next to her throne.  A few minutes later she arrived at her throne, fully clothed from her day at work.  She sat in her chair and scooted forward and simply said "worship me".  Worshipping her body is my absolute favorite task that she assigns to me.  Moments later she had me pull off her blouse but she remained in her bra.  She looked as beautiful and as sexy as any woman that ever existed, and I was told to get her vibrator.  She had me place the vibe between her cloth covered pussy and my extremely hard cock.  I was instructed to continue with my worshipping.

In that position, She purposely held herself at the edge of her orgasm for several minutes until I reached the point of cumming.  I was told I would not be ejaculating while she continued to edge herself.  Curiously, she never did allow herself to orgasm and a few minutes later she informed me that she was done with me and ordered to the kitchen to start dinner while she changed her clothes.

Wow, just wow!

Saturday, March 24, 2018

Who else knows?

I know that logic and reason tell me that keeping our relationship to ourselves (except for her one best friend that lives far away - read here) is the most prudent plan.  I just can't escape the desire for Mistress to have a friend that knows she is a Mistress Wife.  Someone that she can trust never to reveal our lifestyle to anyone ... ever.  Someone that she can confide in, to talk with about her fears, accomplishments, excitements ... or anything that comes into her head in our relationship ... you know, like best-girlfriends do in every other aspect of their lives.  

Hand to God .... I don't want this for Mistress K. because I think it will eventually lead to sex with her friend(s).  I truly want for her to have a way to be able to talk about the exciting things she does behind closed doors with her friends.  Mistress K. and I have talked about it often, if she were just able to speak frankly with some of her friends that have constant marriage issues, and reveal to them the natural course of a FLM .......... well you get the idea.  To be able to talk about and explain this ..............

To be able to explain the benefits of strict, disciplinary actions to enforce what is a natural source of enjoyment for the Mistress Wife and dutiful husband.  How arguments or fights rarely occur, and when they do, they are resolved super quick and to everyone's satisfaction.

Friends helping friends ..... When there is a natural way for friends to be able to help friends, well good things happen.

Friday, March 23, 2018


I was recently asked by someone (via email) if I had any regrets about being in the kind of relationship that Mistress K. and I have.  My answer was instinctive and immediate .... "I have absolutely no regrets about offering my submission to my beloved wife."  Why would I?  I have the distinct honor and privilege of serving, being owned by and worshipping the woman that I love more than any other woman I have loved before.  Our lifestyle has given us the depth of love, respect and closeness we had never experienced before in our time together.

He replied with "Perhaps regret was the wrong word.  Clearly you love, honor, obey and cherish you wife in ways that most men could only hope for."  He went on to ask whether or not there were things in our existence together that I wish were different.  That got me thinking.  Again, my immediate and instinctive answer was no.  I truly do love be the primary source of pleasure in Mistress K.'s life, be it sexually or otherwise.  All of that is true.  But .... (there's always a but, isn't there?) it got me thinking further.  If I had a magic wand, what would I change that isn't already perfect?

Aside from the obviously known/assumed problems that vanilla life does to get in the way of open Dominant/submissive existence like kids, work, school, social obligations, etc.   There are a few things I would like to be able to "tweek" in order to make things better.

First, I'd like to be able to speed up the rate by which Mistress K. continues to evolve in her Dominance.  Over time, Mistress K. has had epiphanies that have allowed her to better be able to fully enjoy the power exchange dynamic we have.  As time goes on, she is more and able to find comfort in the knowledge that when she imposes something, or merely wants something, that she isn't being selfish, mean, cruel or in any way putting me in a position to actually regret being her owned slave husband.  She gets closer and closer each day to the realization that being in servitude to her, even if at that particular moment it isn't something I may not want to do, that I derive genuine pleasure in being subject to her.  If she says we are going a particular movie that I don't want to see, we are going to that movie, and I "will enjoy myself" because being with me "while I am enjoying myself" is something that pleases her.  I go to the movie and even though somewhere below the surface I may not really be liking it, I quickly begin to enjoy myself because I am doing something my Goddess Wife has imposed on me.  Things like that.  

Another example is .... Over the past year or so, one of those epiphanies was the necessity of being consistent with her corrective behavior whenever she is displeased with me for whatever reason.  For us that means spankings.  The spankings I have received over that time have been less frequent but have more severe in terms of redness and stingy sensations on my bare bottom.  In other words, they hurt!  She has come to genuinely know that when she administers a punishment spanking, EVERYTHING in our life together immediately gets better for each of us.  I don't like it when I am being spanked.  But I cherish and so thankful that she gives them to me.  There is just something so beautiful about the post spanking after care that I crave.  Being naked, kneeling before, ass-on-fire-sweating and thanking her with passion for the spanking I just received is an amazing way to assert each of our respective roles that we have committed to each other.  It is an incredible feeling, and even though the pain of a spanking is significant .... I want more.  I want longer.  I want harder and I want to be brought to a level of retribution that will actually bring me to tears.  I am confident that the previously mention evolution that Mistress K. is currently enjoying will ultimately bring us there and as such will become a natural and cherished part of our existence together.  I know, I know, this is one of those be careful what you ask for things to be sure.

Lastly, with my hypothetical magic wand, I would wave it and fix the built in problem that comes from orgasm control/denial and repeated tease and denial.  Tease and denial is an amazingly important part of our life.  It helps "stoke the fire" and allows me to achieve a (nearly) constant state of desire for her, which was the goal in the beginning for me when I first asked her to become my Mistress Wife.  With it though comes the problem of not being able to last very long without the uncontrollable urge to cum.  It is a conundrum, a catch 22.  There are times that Mistress K. wants to be to fucked long, slow, fast, hard.  Those times when she wants to surrender her body and be fucked good and long. Fucked like a wanton slut, even bordering on the edge of being my little sex slave,  To be ravaged and used as an objectified sex object.  To be ...... sorry, I digress.  You get the idea.

In reality, when it has been a few months since my previous orgasm, having this beautiful creature before in a wanton state is almost enough by itself to cause me to come, let alone fucking her like she is begging for.  You may remember in a post a long time ago that I have been actually able to orgasm from merely witnessing Mistress K. orgasm.  By fucking air while she is cumming.  So switching from someone that is truly honored to be merely be allowed to be inside of her, to someone that is expected to treat her like a submissive fuck doll is, well, challenging.  Currently our solution to that problem is the use of a relatively thick walled penis extension and liberal use of numbing spray.  That combination works marvelously, but there is a certain amount of preparation that is necessary which takes away from her ability to demand it in a moments notice.

Because I so very much love to watch Mistress K. orgasm, I have even offered to arrange for an erotic massage for her, with me present, and for her to enjoy as she saw fit .... at the time,  in the throes of whatever passion might exist at the time.  I know ..... it get it, it is a toe in the door of something that could lead to a cuckhold situation.  Although I know to never say never about anything ever, I don't believe the erotic massage will happen because Mistress K. appreciated the offer, but declined.

The email writer went on to ask about what fantasies I or Mistress K. might have, but I was hesitant to go there with him then, and there isn't enough "ink and paper" here to be able to do it justice.

Let me ask you dear friends, what things about your situation would you like to change for the better if you had a magic wand?  Do you have any regrets?  I'd love to know.

Till next time!  Thanks for stopping by.