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Monday, July 6, 2015

Would Love your advice

Hi everyone.  I hope you all had a wonderful and safe 4th of July weekend.  Mistress K., the kids and I all had a great time in the mountains of Arizona and are now safely back home in the Valley of Sun (heat).

Being away like we were, surrounded with family and friends at all times, meant that our alone time was essentially non-existent.  That obviously meant that there was no time for US, to do, you know , the things that a Dominant Wife and submissive husband like to do sometimes.  Purely vanilla all weekend long!

After we got home late last night, unpacked the car, settled the kids for bed, we finally got to be naked and alone.  I was laying in bed already when Mistress K. came into the bedroom, went to the closet and a few minutes later, emerged, tired and ready to get some sleep.  The only light in the room was the TV and when she walked in front of it to get into bed, wearing only a black thong, she looked absolutely gorgeous.  One of the favorite parts of her body (her torso) was illuminated by the dim light of the TV and I instantly got hard.  Even though I was already half asleep, I immediately got hard just by the sight of her nearly naked body.  She was checking her phone before putting it on the charger and then climbed into bed and ordered me to cuddle (spoon) her.  I immediately did so, pressing my hard cock against the other favorite part of her body ... her ass. 

When she realized that she had forgotten to set her alarm, she shifted and moved to reach for her phone on the nightstand.  By doing so, she stretched her arms to reach for the hone, rolling slightly onto her tummy, exposing her beautiful back and ass to me.  While setting her alarm, I couldn't resist so I started rubbing her ass and back and started kissing her all over.  Something came over me and I started to act in a dominant fashion by telling her (not asking her) that I was going to fuck her right then.  I started thrusting my cock into the fleshly part of her bottom, mockingly fucking her while she fiddled with her phone.  When she finished and rolled onto her back, I "ordered" her to remove her panties and spread her legs.  She just looked at me.  Not defiant or disappointed that I was assuming a somewhat dominant role for a moment, but just looking at me.  I immediately just pulled her panties down and removed, throwing them to the floor beside the bed.  I "ordered" her open her legs, not knowing how she would respond to me talking to her like this.  Almost immediately she opened her legs with a smile on her face.  I grabbed her wrists in one hand and held them above her head and positioned myself to enter her.

I had been without much sex for almost two weeks, save for a few stolen moments when Mistress would stroke my cock through my shorts, or the day last week when Mistress ordered me to edge myself at (am, noon and 3pm precisely, regardless of where I was that day.  Being a chaste husband and having very few orgasms, I am usually in what amounts to a constant state of arousal.  Just the way Mistress K. likes to keep me.  It's July and so far this year I have had only 2 real orgasms and probably as little as 10 or 12 ejaculations (ruined orgasms).  There are times that I know Mistress K. wants to be taken and just fucked.  Fucked hard.  This was one of those times.  The downside of being chaste and in a constant state of arousal is that I can be brought to the edge of orgasm in a very short time.  After a short time of slowly moving my cock inside of restrained Mistress, the need to orgasm came rushing toward me and I had to stop in order to avoid an unauthorized orgasm.  I tried to start again and last longer but it just wasn't going to happen.  The disappointment on Mistresses face was obvious even though she did her best not to show it.  I offered to get "pinky" (our cock sleeve) and put it on so I could fuck her longer, but she said no.  She just ordered me to retrieve her panties so she could put them back on.  After helping her back into her panties, she said "that's all for you tonight so lay down and go to sleep". 

So, what advice do I need?  Well, if you haven't figured it out already, I need your advice on how to be both chaste and in a constant state of arousal, while also being able to satisfy my Mistress with my cock when she has the desire to be fucked, without having to stop to avoid orgasm.  Stamina! 

My friends ... what advice to you have for me to be able to give Mistress the good hard fucking she wants/needs/deserves, without being a typical feeble male that wants to ejaculate too soon?  I know that this very conundrum is the reason that Dominant wives will often cuck their husbands, or otherwise take on other lovers ... and this seemingly natural progression is what I hope to avoid.  This morning Mistress and I talked again about "cock therapy", which is Mistress K.'s idea to help prevent premature ejaculation.  If you don't already know, Mistress K.'s "cock therapy" goes like this ....  Mistress K. will give a number.  Say that number is 100.  I am then required to give Mistress K. as many full thrusts as I can leading up to that number, without stopping.  Let's say I get to 25 but need to stop in order to avoid cumming.  That leaves 75 ... the number of hard swats I will receive from Mistress' paddle.  After the paddling, I am immediately required to make another attempt, with the same outcome.  We have used "cock therapy" in the past and it was beginning to work, especially at the time when Mistress K. decided that if she was going to go through the trouble of paddling me, each swat was gong to be meaningful  (ouchy). 

Anyone have any advice for me?  I would especially love to hear from Mistresses out there that very well could be having to deal with the same issue.

35 comments:

  1. why not try depletion instead of denial? it's the other end of the spectrum and you'll be able to last an unusually long time. the first few orgasms you have may be pleasurable but after that, when she is controlling/draining every drop, either personally or by order, and you are so depleted that only a few drops leave you when you do eventually orgasm , she will be controlling everything,You will have the dominated feeling that you want she will be in charge and there are several added bonuses .Especially in that when you consider that a submissive orgasm is reinforcing the established dynamic and bonding and even attaining a further level of submission, then seemingly the submissive is going through levels of submission at a faster rate, the orgasms can be assigned or supervised or regulated in a number of ways but when the submissive is basically kept on empty, it's a unique form of denial on the opposite end of the spectrum. The sub now faces the challenges of earning the tretment received and staying alert to avoid reprisals that would be even less comfortable without the cushion of pent up arousal, and if the romantic situation situation described in the post does occur then there will be a lot of staying power with a release for the sub being most likely more emotional than pleasurable and if and when the denial method is reinstated it has an effect there as well, because short term denial is still more intense because sub knows what sub is missing and the staying power is still not lost after a few days but long term denial can still be reinstated at the doms whim with a greater effect.

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    1. Thank you Anonymous. This is excellent advice, I think. On rare occasions, Mistress has forced me to have several orgasms all at once. On one Saturday around noon, Mistress instructed me to have 5 orgasms before we went to bed on Sunday night. It was tough but I did it. My worry here is apathy after an orgasm, which I think would be worse. Perhaps it is worth a try.

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  2. You just need to take the plunge into the next logical step and that is bringing in a young stud to service your wife if you aren't able to. It doesn't have to be a traditional cuckold arrangement where you are there in a sissy wimp capacity being told what a useless cock you have. My husband has the same issue. We don't do it often, but on occasion we have a stud there when we are having sex. I keep my husband caged while he performs oral and other things I like and when it comes time for me take a cock, I take the stud in waiting. He does his thing and after I get what I want, he is dismissed. There is no connection, talking or even love making. It's just good hard fucking from a capable male fucking machine. My husband will usually lay next to me and kiss me wile I'm being fucked. I've thought about having my husband prepare the stud by stroking him or even sucking his cock, but I'm not ready for that yet. Sometimes when its all over, I'll even let him cum.

    Mistress A.

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    1. Hi Mistress A. and thank you for stopping by. Oh my, I just don't know if I could actually watch Mistress K. getting fucked by another man. On one hand, seeing her go through the throes of passion that comes from being taken and fucked hard is intriguing, exciting even. On the other hand, I'm just not sure that I would be able to forget what I saw, and knowing that another man was able to bring her to a point of sexually ecstasy. I'm just afraid that my tender heart would be forever wounded. That being said, I did get a little hard reading your comment.

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  3. Hello SubHub.
    "Cock therapy" is an interesting idea I will file away in the event I ever need it.To your immediate problem I can only provide a partial answer. Controlling my husband's cock ( as well as his bum) doesn't mean he can't ejaculate when I want him to or when I give explicit permission as I would probably do during lovemaking. The fact that you are chaste, i.e. don't masturbate without permission makes it likely that you could become hard again soon after ejaculation so more time for fun between you and your wife.I don't relive that limiting ejaculation is the goal for a dominant woman but rather controlling what he does with his cock. Sometimes I want him to come but I control when and where it happens. Hopes this helps a little
    Marisa

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    1. Thanks so much Marisa. The fact that Mistress K. controls my cock (and bum) doesn't mean I can't ejaculate either. It just so happens that Mistress doesn't allow it very often. I'm not complaining. A constant state of arousal is not a bad state to be in. Your situation with your husband seems very much like ours.

      Thank you for stopping by.

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  4. Wow buddy. I've got nothing to offer other than, maybe you and Mistress K need to have a talk about allowing you to fuck her brains out once a week or once every other week. Inbetween she can keep you chaste and on edge. I'm not sensing that Mistress K wants a chuckhold arrangement. You two seem way too content/happy. Good luck and hugs. K

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    1. I agree with K. You need to talk to her. If you keep having feelings like you can't service her properly, it is going to leave you with feelings that don't need to be there. Maybe you need to be allowed to have an orgasm prior to the hard fuck. Good luck, my friend.

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    2. Hi sweetie and thanks for the support. I don't get the sense that Mistress K. is looking for a cuckold arrangement either. I don't know if being able to spontaneously fuck her hard and long is something that can coexist in a tease and denial life. We do have the cock sleeve and desensitizing spray which work awesome, but that takes some planning. When the spray is applied and the sleeve is on, I can fuck her for hours. This isn't a big problem, it's just me wanting my cake and being able to eat it too I guess.

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    3. Hi His Slut ............. We will talk about this. It's not that this is a big problem, it's just something that I wish I could just turn on or off because at the end of the day, I want to be able to provide Mistress with the best sex each time we are intimate together. I hope your wrong and that I won't eventually feel like that I don't need to be there. I just can't see that happening but I am keenly aware that it is a possibility. I'll mention having an orgasm first to Mistress K. and see what she thinks. Thanks so much for the advice.

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  5. My only suggestion would be to get Mistress K stimulated by foreplay close to orgasm before you fuck her brains out. Might help you orgasm together

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    1. Thank you anna louise. You're absolutely right. It's what I should've done while I was in my temporarily dominant mood, but even then, I know there are times when Mistress wants a good, hard, slow (then fast) fucking. I know we'll work this out. I think cock therapy is in my future. God help my poor bottom.

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  6. You're not alone. Enough members of our Congress must have a similar problem since they enacted the administrative law below to permit the non-prescription dispensing of a male genital desensitizing product to treat premature ejaculation.

    AUTHORITY: 21 U.S.C. 321, 351, 352, 353, 355, 360, 371.
    SOURCE: 57 FR 27656, June 19, 1992, unless otherwise noted.
    Subpart A—General Provisions§ 348.1 Scope.
    (a) An over-the-counter external analgesic drug product in a form suitable for topical administration is generally recognized as safe and effective and is not misbranded if it meets each condition in this part and each general condition established in § 330.1 of this chapter.
    (b) References in this part to regulatory sections of the Code of Federal Regulations are to chapter I of title 21 unless otherwise noted.
    § 348.3 Definitions.
    As used in this part:
    (a) Male genital desensitizing drug product. A drug product applied to the penis to help in temporarily slowing the onset of ejaculation.

    Etc.

    One relatively new and readily available product is Aspercreme's Lidocaine ointment.
    http://www.walgreens.com/store/c/aspercreme-maximum-strength-lidocaine-pain-relieving-creme/ID=prod6270713-product?SL_ClientGroup=1

    Use very SPARINGLY at first & avoid applying to your wife's clitoris.

    Good luck

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    1. Wow ......... now that's advice. Off to Walgreens! Thank you.

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  7. My wife loves an obedient husband to the point That I am not allowed an orgasm, at least not for the past 11 mo. 3 weeks.(but who's counting )LOL
    She loves piv and expects me to do my part, so I have learned self control. The mind is a powerful thing and can direct the body to do a lot. We can learn to push through pain to reach the finish line or the gain the top of the hill. It's the same concept. Is it always easy, of course not. But nothing worth gaining is easy to obtain Grasshopper.
    I concentrate on her pleasure and what she is experiencing, not my own. Her orgasm becomes mine so that is the goal. Learn to take your pleasure through your wife's pleasure. A little bit of Tantra maybe, without the spiritual side.

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    1. Excellent DLsKnight. Just excellent, and you're right. The solution does come from concentrating on HER pleasure and what she is experiencing. Thanks you as always for stopping by and for saying the few words that bring it all back to what is best for her!

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  8. Stop playing this Dom/sub game and get real. I get it . Both of you like the roles assigned ,but no matter how much fun and even satisfying they are, they are ultimately limiting.

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    1. It's not a game. It's our official, acknowledged, committed relationship. We had a collaring ceremony before an officiant. It's not just something we can stop doing.

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  9. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  10. Hi sub hub, I'm afraid I don't have anything to add in the way of advice. I think k in New England and ana louise have great ideas.

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. Thanks so much for saying hello Roz. You know I always love to hear from you. yes, I agree, K and anna louise have some helpful advice indeed.

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  11. Wear a cock sheath. She will get the hard cock she deserves. You will still get to fuck her, but in a desensitized state, so no orgasm for you still. Best of all its still the two of you in the act of satisfying each others needs.

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    1. Hi anonymous and thank you for stopping. We have a cock sleeve and I wear it frequently when Mistress is in the mood for a good, long hard fucking. Sometimes however, when being spontaneous, it's a mood killer for her for us to have to stop so I can retrieve it and put it on.

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  12. Hey Good Morning. Have you tried milking before you have sex, this will allow you to last longer

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    1. Hi anonymous. No, in fact we haven't tried that but it is a very good suggestion!. Thank you.

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  13. Hey bud!
    You asked my advice and I told you I would post a response on my blog - so here you go, this is how we solve this problem. And NO cuckolding is NOT an option for more marriages, certainly not mine and I think it's silly to offer that advice.

    http://wp.me/p5NKEH-yB

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    1. Hi Lady M. I can't tell you what an honor it is to be featured on a post on your blog. Wow ... to have the interest of the great Lady M. in such a way is truly an hnor.

      I'm with you, I don't want to think of cuckholding as an option.

      Thank you so much Lady M.

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  14. Hi subhub!

    Do you do Kegel exercises? If not, you HAVE to be doing this. It will change your and Mistress K's life! It's the number one thing you can do to gain control over your cock, I can't believe no one has mentioned it here yet. Mistress K should be doing them too!

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    1. Hi Wifey. No, I don't dot hem but I will get right on it and mention to mistress as well. Thank you!

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  15. Hi SubHub
    I don't if this would help, but have you tried using a cock ring? Of course it is primarily of use if you struggle to stay hard (and I have experience of that) but I have also found that because it keeps your cock hard 'artificially' you can to some degree disengage the brain a little bit which helps to keep you away from the edge. I must admit I haven't really tried it in a state of prolonged chastity (you are much further down this road then I) but I imagine it would help.
    Before chastity I had some ED problems (not any more, pretty much) and we used a cock ring regularly. It was pretty effective and I found I could hold back a really long time because I didn't have to worry about staying hard and I because of that I wasn't having to worry about keeping myself 'turned on' so much, well... it might be worth a try anyway?
    Robert Anthony

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    1. Hi old friend. Thank you as always for stopping by and for commenting. We do use a cock ring and although it does help maintain an erection (that hasn't been a problem .... knock on wood - pun intended) it doesn't do much for desensitizing my cock. But you know what, trying stuff is fun!!

      Thank again my friend.

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  16. You certainly got a lot of interesting comments. My take is that one of the costs of orgasm control is the reality that during intercourse it will be very difficult to last long. Some guys try anesthetic creams (find some on amazon). They work to some extent...if you can't feel it, you won't come quickly. The problem is that you need to allow between five and fifteen minutes for the cream to work. You might get soft and she may need to help you get hard again.

    The only thing that I find reliable is to orally stimulate to either the brink of her orgasm or through the first one. Then your penetration will trigger her orgasm, hopefully before you have yours.

    I haven't found any cock ring or other toy that effectively reduces the need to ejaculate. The approach above has a reasonable chance of working. The other option is for her to let you come the day before or the morning before. Then you should have a more normal amount of time inside her before it is too late.

    I don't think there is a practical way to be kept orgasm-free and still last during penetration.

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    1. Hello there my friend and thank you for taking the time to comment. I completely agree with you that it is probably not at all practicable to expect to be (nearly) orgasm free, teased, edged and denied and still be expected last a long time while being inside the single most important object of my desire. I'm still going to try though and I know you will as well with Mrs. lion.

      thanks again.

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  17. My wife and I use to do the cock therapy route like you two do. The wife changed things a bit. You'll have to be into CBT for this one. She said that being my cock was the problem area, here is what she did. Using your example, if I was to last for 100 thrusts and only made it to 25 she would use our cock whip and apply 75 wacks to my cock. After that your cock will be somewhat desensitized. Then try it again. I bet you last longer. We don't do this much anymore.

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    1. Excellent advice. We never even thought of that. i will pass it along to Mistress K. for her consideration.

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