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Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Cucked?

Not really, no.

This morning, I was naked and approached Mistress to inform her that I was about to get dressed.  She then informed me that she had bought me some golf pants yesterday and that since i was already naked, it would be a good time to try them on.  She ordered me to our closet, showed me the pants and had me try them on, then stand on a stool so she could pin the legs where they were to be hemmed.  After both pairs were pinned, she ordered me out of my clothes and to stay standing on the stool.  She reached for some lube and starting stoking my rapidly growing erection.  At the same time, her other hand was roaming my naked body and she started to bite my butt.  Being naked on that stool while she was edging me was so hot that it was only a matter of seconds before I was straining to avoid an orgasm.  There is just something about being objectified by this gorgeous woman that sends me straight to the edge quickly.  After a few repeated trips to the edge, she abruptly stopped and told me to clean up and get dressed for work.  "You'll be wearing a cock ring today" she said as I made my way toward the bathroom.  it was hot.  Really hot.

I left for the office with a rock hard cock. I couldn't take my mind off of what just happened.  While sitting at a red light i texted here a few sexy pictures.  One of them was of the suction-cup dildo that she used to simulate a cuck experience.  More about that can be viewed in this post:


I got to the office, had to focus on my job because an important meeting was waiting for me the second I walked in the door.  That meeting lasted about 90 minutes and as I was walking from the conference room to my office, i received a text from her that simply said "jealous?".   At first I didn't know what she meant.  Then it occurred to me that she was referring to the suction cup dildo in the pictures.  The very one she "cucked " me with a couple of weeks ago.  I had to stop and think .... am I actually jealous of a sex toy?  No.  I thoroughly enjoy using sex toys in our lovemaking, without ever having an ounce of self-consciousness.  Does she think I am jealous of the imaginary man that was represented by the dildo that day, and that was fucking her hard and for as long as she wanted?  Maybe a little, but no, because it wasn't an actual man that was pleasuring her that way. 

I replied by saying that jealous may not be the right word and that perhaps "conflicted" was the right word.  Immediately after sending it I thought to myself ... Conflicted?  Conflicted about what?  I came to realize that my conflict had to do with the disappointment I feel when I am not physically able to fuck her for as long as she wants to be fucked.  Not without having to stop and start frequently in order to avoid orgasm or ejaculation.  I understand this to be common among submissive men in a loving FLM if for no other reason than the constant edging and teasing, and for being in what amounts to a constant state of arousal.  Still, I want to be the kind of bull-like lover that she sometimes wants to be fucking her.  I can't absolutely do it with some time to plan and some knowledge that it is going to be something she will want right then.  A little desensitizing spray and maybe even a cock-sleeve usually does the trick. 

I went on to tell her that the other side of the conflict coin was my incredible desire to see my Mistress in the absolute throes of passion, and to witness the joy she has by being fucked hard, long and in a way that allows her to have reckless abandon.  I've said it before and often ... It truly is an enormous source of sexual pleasure for me to witness Mistress in that state of reckless abandon.  So much so in fact that I know I could conjure up my own ruined orgasm without any direct stimulation to my cock and by merely watching her. Ideally, the cock that would otherwise be giving her that pleasure would be mine.  I wouldn't be able to handle it emotionally, to watch my Mistress being fucked in that fashion by a living, breathing, other man.  In other words, I wouldn't be able to handle being actually cucked by her with an actual other man.  A rubber, suction cup dildo?  yes.  Another woman?  Yes!  (I know, I know ... typical piggish male attitude, but at least I am honest about it.)  But not another real, live man. 

It got me to thinking ... Is it inevitable?  Are we headed toward the cuckold conversation.  OMG, could this be happening?  You know how the mind works ... once a little anxiety sets in, illogical thoughts begin to take over at which point, I had to abandon any idea that this could actually be happening because it wasn't actually logical.

That was earlier today.  Since then I have had time to think about it all calmly and I have come to the conclusion that although I still am in no way able to emotionally handle actually (probably now more than before), really being cucked by my Mistress with real, other man, I do hope that Mistress will "cuck" me again with that suction cup dildo again real soon, and real often.  Somewhere in the back of my mind, I dreaded having the knowledge that this topic and conversation would someday come into my view.    Guh!

Conflicted.

17 comments:

  1. I'm sure it wouldn't make you feel any better, but I struggle with the same conflicting thought. The idea of Sir fucking some other woman seems like something I could never handle. If he tells me to let another man (or woman) use me, I would. But the idea of him taking another would be too much.

    Hope the rubber guy stays around for a long while. :)

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    1. Thanks Collared Mom, thank you so much. I agree!

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  2. Maybe if you never brought the topic up again you won't have to deal with the conflict. Sometimes we get things because we keep indirectly pressing our wife in that direction. Be careful

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    1. Thank you my friend. I'll be very careful because along with my children, there nothing more precious to me that my relationship with my beloved wife. I certainly won't be bringing it up again often, but like you, I know I need to be intellectually honest and not lie by omission. My goal at this point is to be able to look back on the discussion of this topic in the future and be able to find anchor-points of truth about the things in my marriage that are most important. God help me if it turns out to be the wrong angle of attack but I bring it up now in the hopes of being able to kill it now.

      I'm so interested to know .... have you and Katie discussed it? What are your feeling son it?

      Thanks for caring my friend.

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    2. SHIP,
      When Katie and I married we made promises. One such promise was that there would only be she and I between the sheets. We had talked about a 3rd at one point back when all this was new and we were exploring the whole FLR thing but Katie came to a decision that another was not something she ever really wanted and so in our vow we promised one another it would only be us. That decision was freeing. It really was. The temptation vanished and any discussions on that subject immediately went away as well.
      Hope you and your Mistress will choose wisely and that whatever you do it will bond you rather than divide.

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    3. IH, If I say it too often it might begin to sound creepy but your wife sounds very much like my wife ... again. When the discussion came to including a 3rd, we too looked into it, talked about, contemplated it and one night Mistress K. even stripped off her clothes and waded into our pool while her fried (female) and I were standing at the edge after just having returned from a party. This friend was as horny a friend as she had and it was obvious what Mistress K. was doing. ON that occasion, it wasn't planned, and although we sort of, kind of tried to expand our sex with a 3rd person, noting happened. We both woke the next morning with headaches yes, but also with the pride in knowing that even when alcohol fueled, both of us safeguarded our exclusive love for each other.

      Mistress K. and I haven't talked in one of our date meeting to discuss our respective state of minds recently and both agree it is time to do so soon. When we do, I intended to not allow this harrowing topic to simmer below the surface, especially since it was I that put it there. Instead, I intend to pull t above the surface so we can both see it, talk about and not allow it to take on a life of it's own. Do I think Mistress is serious when she'll use words like "fuck you in front of strangers" or "use your mouth to give orgasms to her friends"? I absolutely don't think she is serious. I suppose she could be "testing the waters" when says things like that "jokingly" but if it were to see if I would be agreeable to allow her to take other lovers, it would be outside the mutual promises, vows and limits we each have and adhere to. Testing the waters like is something that lacks integrity ....... and Mistress K. does not lack integrity. I have place my trust in her completely and although it's possible that trust could be broken, I live with the faith that it cannot.

      All that being said IH, I can't tell you how much I appreciate the your willingness to impart your wisdom, and more importantly, your concern. I so much appreciate it brother. I consider you my dear friend because of that!

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  3. Hmm, maybe this is a test? Or could it be real? How do you know? Playing in the background is the theme music from the X-files. DtBHC.

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    1. DtBHC ... I don't believe that Mistress is testing those waters, testing me or even testing herself because if she were it would mean she was being deceitful ... and she's not deceitful. To be doing that would also mean that she has a blatant agenda to take our lives into an area that we've already agreed is somewhere we would never go. She is entitled to have her fantasies and if this is one of them, then more power to her. As her objectified human sex toy, she is also entitled to use me in whatever fashion she wants to roleplay in those fantasies.

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    2. Hi Sub Hub, I'm sorry it wasn't my intent to suggest or imply this at all. I was attempting to be humorous and tongue-in-cheek. Obviously I missed the mark. DtBHC.

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    3. No worries at all brother. Seriously. I know that is was tongue-in-cheek and you hit the mark right in the bull's eye. I even chuckled about. Then I started to fashion my reply and it's clearly waaaaay more un-fun than was intended. It seems I'm the one that missed the Mark.

      Thanks for the follow-up my friend.

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  4. Subhub,

    You always post well-written experiences, and this is another example. I'm sure you both realize that the boundaries of your relationship are mutually established. You are clear in this note what one hard boundary is. If your anxiety is growing about whether she wants to go there, then you should have one of those dinner meetings and both of you reiterate what you can and cannot do, or will and will not do. There is plenty of play space in what you both enjoy to keep you both entertained, happy, and most of all, in love.

    Best wishes,

    marissa

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    1. Hi Marissacd, so nice to hear from you. Welcome back.

      It isn't so much about rising anxiety as it is about now being the very first time that the thought crept into my mind. Maybe I'm mincing words and if so I apologize but I wholeheartedly agree that it is time for the two of us to go out on a nice date, have some dinner and a glass of wine and have one of our review discussion devoted specifically to our beautiful marriage.

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  5. OMG standing on a stool and being fondled, that is so hot. I love the way you text each other. I don't think she wants to cuck you but talking about it while using her dildo is very erotic and I bet you are watching it going in and out of her. Very good story sub hub. How did the cock ring feel all day long? It's been awhile since I've worn mine.
    archedone

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    1. Hi arechedone. Yes, OMG is apt in this case. Objectification at it's best. Thank you for saying that you don't think she wants to cuck me. I agree and I don't think I am just being naïve and hopeful.

      The cock ring always feels good archedone, like it always does. Thank you for asking.

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  6. The way you describe her, it sounds like she has no interest in cucking you with another man. But what if she did? How would you react?

    FD

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    1. FD, you have a way of cutting right to the chase, which is one of the things I appreciate about you the most. So, cutting right to the chase .... If she did, to me it would be akin to one of those horrible "put a gun to your head choices" where you are forced to choose which horrible thing would happen. But, that doesn't answer you question does it ....... I guess if Mistress K. has evolved in her Domination to the point where she felt she wanted to take on a male sex partner, and if I had no choice in the "if it is going to happen" aspect of it ... It would depend. If it was someone that was intended to be more than just a talented cock, to be dominant to her (and therefore to me) to replace me in our bed, in other aspects of life and in her heart, I would be the saddest ex husband there ever was. If it were with a submissive man to her in all aspects (and to me as well but not sexually) and his impact on her life was nothing more than being a human sex toy, I'd listen and would be agreeable to discuss the many boundaries, rules and conditions that would have to be in place for my hear to never be at risk of being broken.

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