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Friday, February 12, 2016

at the core of our being

The other day, Mistress K. and I got into an argument.  We were talking about something that happened at school with one of our kids and it escalated into frustration for me about how Mistress was telling me the story.  The detail are unimportant, but eventually Mistress ended the conversation and left the room.  I was not happy about how the conversation seemed to end, but that is how it goes.

I was in our closet a short time later and she returned to start up the discussion again.  Being still hot, I was passionate and the volume of my voice was elevated.  During this time, Mistress K. told me that I was right in what I had described to her as being my problem with how the conversation went.  Being a stubborn moron sometimes (like now), I didn't let it go and the conversation continued, and so did the high volume of my voice.  I was still hot.

Suddenly, she sneered at me, turned on her heels and left me alone in the closet.  I thought she was walking off again and ending the conversation again by just abandoning it altogether.  I was wrong.  She left the closet to lock the bedroom door.  Then she stomped back into the closet, ordered my hands on the island in the middle of the closet and went for her paddle.  Now she was hot and she was about to put an end to it.  I hesitated in putting my hands where she ordered me to and that only added to her frustration. 
With my hands on the island in the middle of our closet, she came behind me, pulled down my shorts and proceeding to blister my ass with the leather paddle.  She had made her point in short order, returned the paddle to her drawer and left the closet. 

Even as upset as I was, I instinctively yielded.  Yes, my stinging red ass helped me focus on what had happened, but nonetheless, she ended my bad behavior.  I am just so grateful that the lifestyle that we live gives us the opportunity to be able to settle disagreements quickly, justly (by her determination) and with no lingering hard feelings.  It is at the core of our being.

28 comments:

  1. Does this mean that superior force trumps logic? Are you satisfied?

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    1. Thank you anonymous for taking the time to comment. I really do appreciate it.

      Of course not. Superior force does not trump logic. Even though I "won" the argument, the spanking I received was for my behavior in and after the discussion. Her point, and it is always a valid point, was that whatever the nature of the topic, and no matter how passionate I might be in that discussion, it is never appropriate to raise my
      voice and be disrespectful. In this case, especially so after she had acquiesced.

      As to your other question .... Completely satisfied, utterly happy and so deeply in love.

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  2. I find this event in your lives both fascinating and fantastic. Through it all you both remembered your places, who you really were, no questions asked. It was a moment in time and in your FLM that probably neither of you will ever forget. In fact it may well end up being a milestone. A moment when looked back upon that will carry significance but just how remains to be determined.

    Although it's never the right thing to do to act out of anger or frustration, you knew inside that you were carrying things a bit too far and Mistress recognized it and set it straight. She didn't carry on but simply seemed to make her point. I'd be curious to see if she decides the event requires further discipline or that the situation has run it's course.

    I see your submission to her in the moment you knew what was coming as evidence of your all-encompassing love for your wife and Mistress. You have an unequivocal desire to succumb and submit and Mistress has the understanding and ability to assume her authority and maintain your specific places within the relationship. It's remarkable and I applaud you both.

    As an aside I can't help but think this might have gone differently were it not for the practice of orgasm control. With the man's hormones properly placed, the FLM won. In the short and long term all is well.

    Take it easy,
    sublove

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    1. thank you for the kind words my friend. They are always appreciated. Mistress and I haven't talked about the event since, but I know we will, and as you said, it was a milestone. I'm sure she'll feel the same way.

      Things would've gone differently if there wasn't orgasm control. Orgasm control didn't directly affect the events, but it was at the cornerstone of our lifestyle. It's a Wife Led Marriage and as such, my orgasms belong to her and if she feels benevolent enough to allow me to have one, I will have one.

      Thanks again for stopping by sublove. Have a great weekend.

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  3. So you WON (were correct about) the argument, but had an ATTITUDE about it?? Was that the "justification" for the "beatdown"???

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    1. Justification may not be the appropriate word. Mistress K. does not need to justify her actions. Like any other relationship, there is nurturing, loving and care, but unless Mistress were to exceed a limit, she does not need to justify her desires, actions, feelings.

      Correct, she did not like my attitude, nor did she like the volume in my voice ... so she whipped my ass.

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  4. Good to see another post sub hub. As you found out yelling or raising your voice while discussing a subject you don't agree on is not proper. She did come to you and said you were right in what you were saying but the "voice" was still there. You actually deserved to be spanked for raising your voice in the first place instead of discussing in normally. I'm glad to see she took things in hand and if you were in this house another spanking would be in order for raising your voice the first time. I'm sure she spanked for the 2nd raised voice.
    archedone

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    1. Hi archedone, it's good to be back. Real life has been busy for us around here. You are absolutely correct ... even if I hadn't been o the "winning" side of the argument, my raised voice and the manner in which I was speaking was not acceptable. Mistress did indeed spank me the volume of my voice AFTER she had agreed with me. You're also right, I should be punished for how I behaved initially as well.

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  5. An interesting post SHP. In our house Mistress has a somewhat similar solution for a sub with an attitude. It is, "pants down!" Meaning you will immediately drop your pants and not speak. It quickly reminds me that I wear the panties and all that implies. Hard to argue when you're standing there in just panties. If that isn't sufficient to change the tone of discourse, or she is very angry, then "panties too," usually quickly follows. At that point a bare bottom spanking is likely. The speed at which the pants and panties come off often determines the severity of the spanking--faster is better. :-) If Mistress is not fully satisfied with my contriteness, then my bare bottom might be the order for the rest of the day or evening. I have found it is hard to argue from a position of strength with a bare red bottom.

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    1. Hi Penney and thanks. At the end of the day, I have realized that the "pants down now" aspect of our WLM is the epitome of what we have agreed our relationship will be like. A few years ago, if Mistress and I had been in a similar argument, there would've been no mechanism for resolution, and the situation could've very easily escalated to something neither of us really wanted. With our FLM in place, I have been conditioned (happily so) to yield to Mistress K.'s standard for behavior because I trust her that much.

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  6. It's so easy to assume that our undeniable love and devotion would prevent slip ups. So very untrue. We are human. We are of free will and yet....we have made a choice to offer our decisions up, offer our stubbornness up, offer our pride and self-serving up. But, we are human.

    What I like most about your post is that you are honest with the diachotomy we sometimes find ourselves in. It is there. And, when we fall back on our selfish need to be right, to 'win', it can be a runaway train. Very thankfully there is that better half you so lovingly write about. She deserved better in that moment, you committed to doing better a long time ago. She put on the brakes FOR you. And, it worked. The core is there my friend. This is why these moments just cannot be regrets- so much comes out of them. What you learn from that moment is so important. Thanks for sharing.
    XOXO Pearl

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    1. OMG ...... So epically put Pearl!!!! Thank you so very much for putting it the exact proper perspective. I did commit to yield a long time ago and in looking at in to, I am just so very grateful to be have my role in this relationship, with this woman who loves me this much.

      Thank you again Pearl.

      XOXOXO

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  7. Subhub - what a great post. IMHO what got you into trouble was not the verbal exchange with your Mistress: it was you male ego mouth and the disrepectful attitude you displayed toward her. In this lifestyle we have chosen, we have no right to be disrespectful to our wives, be sarcastic, or give attitude. Your Mistress had every right to call you on it and she did. You deserved however and how severely she chose to discipline you. Just because you were right in your argument means nothing. As you mentioned in a previous blog, she can spank you however, and whenever she wants -- why? Because she can. BTW, I love how you finally demonstrated your ultimate submission to her by placing your hands on the island as she required.

    I can certainly relate to you. I don't get into trouble with my wife/MIstress by disobeying her. It is usually my mouth. Much too often i am snarky, sarcastic, critical, and show attitude toward my Mistress. In the past this would lead to periods of silence between us. Now she calls me on it, I am appropriately disciplined, I thank her for disciplining me, apologize for my behavior and promise to do better in the future, and then we move on. Only since beginning this protocol have I discovered how often I hurt my beloved with my words. I am indeed improving in my behavior. And the bonus is my Mistress just commented after my morning maintenance paddling today how much she enjoys spanking my behind -- I guess would call it atonement for years of bad behavior.

    thank you for the courage to share your experience with us.

    tom (and Cathy)

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    1. Hi Anonymous Tom (and Cathy). Thank you so much for the kind words and for stopping by.

      Thank you for summing so nicely the benefit of your FLM. I couldn't have said it about my own marriage better myself.

      Thank you too for sharing your experience. I can't wait to hear more.

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  8. sh- i can picture this, very well. One of the things about being a sub to my Wife is learning when to "let go," and when enough is enough. i too try to show useful logic in describing my positions. Usually, it works. But once a decision is made, it's best to stand down!
    That's one tough thing... when you really feel it's not fair, and now you DON'T want to be a sub, but it's forced back on you!
    Like Penney, as soon as my pants come down and i'm standing there with panties in front of Her, it's already kind of over. Except for the punishment.
    sara

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    1. Love it sara! Thank you so much for sharing. You always bring such wonderful insight.

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  9. The thing I feel most keenly about your post is that the argument was over an issue around the children and their school. I find it difficult to digest just how a shared responsibility around children ends with a reminder of your status and Hers in your relationship.
    SHiP this is So so interesting to me and as I am not in a D/s relationship with my life partner and father of my child, I find this really hard to process. I can tell I will be thinking about this for a long time.
    Yours in envy ;)
    xxx L

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    1. Hello my sweet friend. It is so nice to her from you. I guess I could've been more clear ... the "argument" was born in frustration by me about how Mistress K. decided to reveal information about what happened to one of our children. Basically, it involved someone fucking around with social media. When Mistress started off with the story, it could've been a horrible ending, or it could've been nothing. Mistress knew how it ended and I didn't so when she started telling the story by giving every excruciating detail leading up to the reveal, my frustration got the best of me and I snapped. I told her I didn't want to hear any of the fucking details, I wanted to know whether my child was in a shitty situation or not. Thankfully, the story ended with my child not being in danger, but guh .......

      So, it wasn't a debate about the safety, health or upbringing of our child, but rather in how I reacted to her method of telling me the story .... even after she admitted that she should've gotten right to the reveal.

      I always enjoy hearing from you sweetheart. Thank you for taking the time to stop by!

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  10. You didn’t go much into what the argument was, but I think I can empathize. When we have disagreement between us, I just yield. We are adult. We can bear the consequences. It’s hard to yield your point when a third party is involved. Especially kids, and they bear the consequences on our decisions. I get hot tempered. It’s not easy.

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    1. Hi Her Subject ..... You said " .... I just yield." Unless yield means something that is beyond a limit, I yield as well. I am getting better and better about knowing when to yield.

      Thank you so much for stopping by and taking the time to comment.

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    2. What are the "limits" that you referenced? I asked another flr blogger, and he said that the concept of limits was from the BDSM realm and didn't really apply to flr-Dd relationships. He said there are no limits on how his wife punishes him, either for preventing emotional or physical damage.

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    3. Hi Anonymous ... I can't speak for any other participant in DD/FLM but for Mistress K. and I, limits are blood, scat, urine, or anything that will permanently alter our standing in the community, or anything that will knowingly cause physical damage.

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    4. Thanks for responding. It's good to know there are some sort of constraints on what she would do to you. I can't believe some of the punishments I've seen described elsewhere, especially for mild infractions.

      Having said that, even your limits allow for the infliction of an enormous amount of pain and prolonged bruising and wetting. You're far tougher than I.

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    5. I meant "welting"

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  11. One thing about being a submissive is to realize the way to have a conversation with one who has authority over you without being angry. It's possible to disagree respectfully. I admit when I deal with people at work that I am in charge of them I act much differently than when I have a disagreement with my wife. There is a way to do it properly and still show her that her authority is respected. At the same time just because she has authority doesn't make her right. So it's very important to make your points in a way that keeps the dynamic of your relationship in place.

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    1. Such great advice my friend. Thank you for offering it.

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  12. Hey SHIP -- Miss not hearing from you. Hope you are doing well. Mistress and I have truly enjoyed and learned from your blogs.
    Cathy and tom

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    1. Cathy and tom, thank you so much for reaching out. Everyone at the SHIP house is doing well, just busy. Mistress K. is as beautiful as ever and my love for her grows daily. I assume the same is true for you.

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