Question from K in New England answered

I have noticed that more experienced blogger friends are creating new posts in order to answer the questions that they receive.  I've just been answering them in a follow up comment, but I think it's easier to keep track of this by posting it this way.

This question from K in New England was: 

"have you and Mistress talked about sharing/cuckhold and is that something either of you are interested in? Her bringing in another woman to partake in play/punishment or her becoming involved with another man and creating a cuckhold arrangement? Thanks. K"

Hi K.  Thanks for stopping and for the questions.  Always nice to see you!

 

Mistress and I have only talked briefly about sharing/cuckholding.  When we did, it was not something either of us indicated that we wanted to try.  Mistress K has, on occasion, playfully suggested during play that someone else might have to take over if I wasn't up to the task and even once help my bottom open while I was straddling her and mentioned that someone could come up behind me and fill me up.  She didn't elaborate on who that someone could've been, and neither did I.  I merely moaned a little and said "yes Mistress".  It was obviously playful talk.  There may even have been a tiny nugget of wishful thinking on both our parts, on both occasions.  That being said, Mistress has said that she doesn't have a desire to cuck me and quite honestly, I don't think my tender could talk if it were to become a reality. 

 

On the other hand, I have encouraged her to consider bringing on another woman in whatever capacity might interest her. I know, double standard, right?  I'm just being honest.  But, if that were to ever become a reality, I know it wouldn't have the same negative emotional affect on me.  When I do encourage her to bring on another woman, I am genuine when I say it. Whether that other woman was someone that would punish me alongside her, be submissive to her alongside me, or even be dominant to her, I think it would be a wonderful thing that she would enjoy.  However unlikely it may be, I have no delusions that there would be any sexual contact between and whoever this other woman might or could be.  I have a recurring fantasy about being brought by Mistress to a place where she receives a sensuous massage (with several happy endings) where I am caged, bound or secure in some way, and only able to witness her getting pleasure.  In those fantasies, the masseuse is always a woman, but I suppose it doesn't have to be as long as the pleasure she gets does not include her getting fucked or sucking his cock. 

 

 

Thank you again K for your wonderful questions!

Cucked?

Not really, no.

This morning, I was naked and approached Mistress to inform her that I was about to get dressed.  She then informed me that she had bought me some golf pants yesterday and that since i was already naked, it would be a good time to try them on.  She ordered me to our closet, showed me the pants and had me try them on, then stand on a stool so she could pin the legs where they were to be hemmed.  After both pairs were pinned, she ordered me out of my clothes and to stay standing on the stool.  She reached for some lube and starting stoking my rapidly growing erection.  At the same time, her other hand was roaming my naked body and she started to bite my butt.  Being naked on that stool while she was edging me was so hot that it was only a matter of seconds before I was straining to avoid an orgasm.  There is just something about being objectified by this gorgeous woman that sends me straight to the edge quickly.  After a few repeated trips to the edge, she abruptly stopped and told me to clean up and get dressed for work.  "You'll be wearing a cock ring today" she said as I made my way toward the bathroom.  it was hot.  Really hot.

I left for the office with a rock hard cock. I couldn't take my mind off of what just happened.  While sitting at a red light i texted here a few sexy pictures.  One of them was of the suction-cup dildo that she used to simulate a cuck experience.  More about that can be viewed in this post:

http://subhubphx.blogspot.com/2015/01/i-was-good-boy.html

I got to the office, had to focus on my job because an important meeting was waiting for me the second I walked in the door.  That meeting lasted about 90 minutes and as I was walking from the conference room to my office, i received a text from her that simply said "jealous?".   At first I didn't know what she meant.  Then it occurred to me that she was referring to the suction cup dildo in the pictures.  The very one she "cucked " me with a couple of weeks ago.  I had to stop and think .... am I actually jealous of a sex toy?  No.  I thoroughly enjoy using sex toys in our lovemaking, without ever having an ounce of self-consciousness.  Does she think I am jealous of the imaginary man that was represented by the dildo that day, and that was fucking her hard and for as long as she wanted?  Maybe a little, but no, because it wasn't an actual man that was pleasuring her that way. 

I replied by saying that jealous may not be the right word and that perhaps "conflicted" was the right word.  Immediately after sending it I thought to myself ... Conflicted?  Conflicted about what?  I came to realize that my conflict had to do with the disappointment I feel when I am not physically able to fuck her for as long as she wants to be fucked.  Not without having to stop and start frequently in order to avoid orgasm or ejaculation.  I understand this to be common among submissive men in a loving FLM if for no other reason than the constant edging and teasing, and for being in what amounts to a constant state of arousal.  Still, I want to be the kind of bull-like lover that she sometimes wants to be fucking her.  I can't absolutely do it with some time to plan and some knowledge that it is going to be something she will want right then.  A little desensitizing spray and maybe even a cock-sleeve usually does the trick. 

I went on to tell her that the other side of the conflict coin was my incredible desire to see my Mistress in the absolute throes of passion, and to witness the joy she has by being fucked hard, long and in a way that allows her to have reckless abandon.  I've said it before and often ... It truly is an enormous source of sexual pleasure for me to witness Mistress in that state of reckless abandon.  So much so in fact that I know I could conjure up my own ruined orgasm without any direct stimulation to my cock and by merely watching her. Ideally, the cock that would otherwise be giving her that pleasure would be mine.  I wouldn't be able to handle it emotionally, to watch my Mistress being fucked in that fashion by a living, breathing, other man.  In other words, I wouldn't be able to handle being actually cucked by her with an actual other man.  A rubber, suction cup dildo?  yes.  Another woman?  Yes!  (I know, I know ... typical piggish male attitude, but at least I am honest about it.)  But not another real, live man. 

It got me to thinking ... Is it inevitable?  Are we headed toward the cuckold conversation.  OMG, could this be happening?  You know how the mind works ... once a little anxiety sets in, illogical thoughts begin to take over at which point, I had to abandon any idea that this could actually be happening because it wasn't actually logical.

That was earlier today.  Since then I have had time to think about it all calmly and I have come to the conclusion that although I still am in no way able to emotionally handle actually (probably now more than before), really being cucked by my Mistress with real, other man, I do hope that Mistress will "cuck" me again with that suction cup dildo again real soon, and real often.  Somewhere in the back of my mind, I dreaded having the knowledge that this topic and conversation would someday come into my view.    Guh!

Conflicted.

30 days of submission posts

Hi everyone.  One of things I have noticed since becoming a "blogger" is the trends that often get started and some of those that actually get traction and spread.  Liebster award (who is Liebster anyway?) is one that suckered me in recently.  It reminds of those posts you get on Facebook that say something like if you Love your child, your if you love Jesus, you'll repost whatever is being promoted on your timeline, as if somehow the only true way to determine whether one love Jesus, or your own children is to do what this friend (and I use that term loosely) on Facebook tells you.  For me, it's kind of the modern day version of the chain letter I suppose. 

A recent version of this was the Spanking A-Z thing where the blogger was expected to attach a word to each letter of the alphabet and then expound on what that word meant to them.  The current one of these is the 30 Day Submission Challenge.  I don't know where it originated or who decided what questions would be asked but I will admit that there are some intriguing questions in there, some of which I intended to answer.  In looking over the list of questions, many of them don't appeal to me because for me, they are overly general in nature and many of the questions don't necessarily apply to me or overly generalize position of a particular type of submissive.  For any of my friends that may be participating in this challenge, please don't take offense because certainly none is intended.  I can see how it would be fun for others, it's just not my cup of tea.  In fact, for a few of you, I genuinely look forward to each day's question and answer posting.

Some of the questions seems to assume that submissive are the same.  i.e. that all submissive act in a submissive fashion in all aspects of their lives.  I am a submissive husband n a loving Female Led Marriage ..... there is no question about that and I absolutely love it.  Does that mean I am submissive to anyone else other than my Mistress wife?  Hell no.  As a matter of fact, in all other aspects of my life, I am quite the dominant one.  The only exception to this would be if Mistress K. were to instruct me to behave in a submissive manner to another person.  That has not happened.  I will tend to seize control of and tend to dominate any scenario that I find myself that doesn't include interaction with my Mistress Wife.  Please don't confuse that comment with me saying that I am sort of asshole, because I'm not.  Quite the contrary ..... my natural instincts to control circumstances around appeal to my natural desire to help people.  That being said, I never to be allowed to "take the lead" in a private situation when I am alone with my Mistress.   I find an enormous amount of comfort in immediately transitioning into submissive husband mode the very second Mistress and I are alone. 

Please don't be unhappy with me if I tend to cherry pick the questions I prefer to have asked of me.  *smile

Here is "cherry-picked" question (chosen in no particular order) from the list that is going around:

Day 13: Is sexual availability, being available to your partner any time he or she wants, part of your submission? Why or why not? Are there limits to this?

Most certainly.  As a matter of fact, it is one of the cornerstones of our relationship in that I  genuinely get sexual pleasure from providing Mistress K. with sexual pleasure.  According the established rules that Mistress and I agree, I am to perform in any sexual manner that I am directed to my Mistress, at any time, without questioning her and without any expectations for how it will end up for me. 

Yes, of course there are limits.  What exactly each and every one of those limits are have not yet been realized or tested.  We have the usual set of limits that most other reasonable people have ....... no kids, animals, blood, scat, urine, severe pain for the sake of pain, anything illegal, anything that would cause or allow others in our community to know about the most intimate aspects of our lifestyle.  If either one of us were to approach a limit that hadn't been discussed between us, the other would have no problem stopping the action.  That has not happened yet.  I imagine that is the case because even though we are growing into this lifestyle more and more as time goes on, neither of us seems to have a need to "ramp things up" in order to maintain enthusiasm. 

Cum Eating

ROBERT_ANTHONY'S CHASTITY & FEMDOM BLOG, is one of my favorite blogs to follow. One of the things that Robert Anthony has in common with several other sub/slave husbands in established FemDomme Marriages is being required to always/occasionally eat or ingest their own cum. The idea of eating my cum makes me have to hold back a gag reflex. But, i must now admit that i find when i am reading a blog entry that is describing the sub husband being required to eat his own cum, gives me a hard-on. I know that it isn't the act of eating cum that has any appeal whatsoever, it doesn't. Rather it is the symbolic submissive gesture of always/sometimes being required to perform an "unpleasant act" as the price for orgasm that is arousing. Recently i commented on a blog entry by Robert Anthony. In it are some of my thoughts on this topic. You can find it here http://chastity-femdom.blogspot.com/2014/07/31-days-and-out.html?showComment=1405526990041#c3934840877095411952 In his story, he talked about having to eat his own cum after a surprise orgasm that he was given, that his Mistress smeared on her ass for no other purpose than for him to clean with his tongue. My cock was hard as a rock reading that story and i soon realised that the cum eating description was part of it. Now, i want to reiterate here that Mistress K. finds that me being required to eat my own cum is gross. The idea of doing it, in and of itself alone is gross to me too. However, the idea that as a submissive, there is a "high price" to pay for right to be able to ejaculate is extremely exciting. Skin-in-the-game so to speak. I know this falls under the category of "be carefull for what you wish for", like mentioning that i think Mistress should spank me harder and longer, even to the pint of bruises and possbily tears if need be, in order to more firmly establish her dominance and to better deter undesireable behavior. i know that if i were ever presented with having to eat my own cum, expecially following a full orgsm, that it would something i'd try and talk her out of, but i would still do it if it were something that Mistress required. i know Mistress K. will read this post and i know that it will be something i will need to talk about with Her in more depth about it. On one hand, it's not anything like eating shit or drinking piss (2 hard limits for me and Mistress K., thank God), it's just kind of yucky. I think Mistress may also associate a male eating cum as being too closely assocaited with male homosexual behavior, which i believe is something that she doesn't find sexually arousing. On the other hand, because we both agree(d) that eating my cum was gross, we both agreed that it woldn't be a part of our play, although it was never discussed as a hard limit like other , more obvious hard limit items like scat, blood, animals, incest, etc ................... At the end of the day, it isn't ever up to me what types of activities or play we engage in, or if we do at all. It is always (and always will be) at the discretion of Mistress K. Since this blog is all about my ability to express myself honestly and communicate with others, i felt it was important enough to note that i was getting erections from reading how other sub husband were required to eat their cum, and i wasn't sure why. Perhaps this will be considered as the "shit is out of the horse" now, or Pandora's box is officially open. We'll see.

Deep in sub space

There are times when i naturally find myself very deep in subspace.  Of course i am naturally there when i am naked and with Mistress, but there are also other times (like now) where i find myself deep in subspace without being in a scene or session with my beloved Mistress.  Mistress has me wearing my favorite balls harness and that only adds to my desire.

It is time like these when i find myself looking to be brought to the very edge of my limits by Mistress.  It's scary but also feels very natural.  i wonder if this is progression that D/s couples naturally go through.  It is times like now that if limits were to be tested, limits very well could be expanded.  i know in the bottom of my heart this comes from safe place i find myself under the control of my beloved Mistress K.

I love you darling!