The Glorious Ruined Orgasm

I just haven't seen much discussion the www about the glorious ruined orgasm.  What makes it glorious?  Several things ... like there is no loss in sexual interest, libido or desire for your wife.  Multiple ejaculations are easy, ok easier.  

It's something a Dominant Wife can do for her husband without removing his cage.   

Like I said, there are many things that make it glorious.  But rather me blathering on about the benefits, I'd rather allow Mz Kaylee do so by reprinting a post from her EXCELLENT blog about The Art of The Ruined Orgasm.  If you haven't already, go check out her blog!

The Art of The Ruined Orgasm

Last night I gave Thomas a ruined orgasm.  A ruined orgasm is when you stop providing stimulation to you man's cock when he starts to cum or right before he starts to cum, thereby ruining his orgasm.  The man may feel a brief moment of pleasure but then it immediately vanishes leaving him frustrated.  I have to admit that I get a thrill from seeing his desperation and it is even more thrilling that he thanks me afterward.  He is like a puppy dog that is always happy...always wagging his tail no matter what I do.  Some may consider this cruel, but even Thomas enjoys when I ruin his orgasms because it is another form of control that he gets to experience.  To him a full blown orgasm is a very special privilege that he only experiences on a rare occasions. Denying his orgasm keeps him feeling submissive and controlled.  He craves this feeling and enjoys the mental game. 

The thrill and arousal that I experience from his ruined orgasm is only a part of the reason I do it.  I also consider the ruined orgasm a powerful tool for controlling Thomas and keeping him obedient.  The biggest advantage of a ruined orgasm is that it allows the man some release but avoids the post orgasm "slump" that most men experience after an full orgasm.  The slump I am referring to is when the man loses all energy and loses interest in sex and pleasing the woman.  After a ruined orgasm, many men do not experience the slump or it is very brief.  Thomas will often remain hard after the ruined orgasm.  His level of horniness remains high as well. 

Another advantage of the ruined orgasm is that it is one more tool to add to your bag of tricks for teasing and orgasm control.  You can tell your man that he is allowed to orgasm and then at the moment he is about to orgasm or as soon as it starts you release his cock.  Incorporating this into your T&D keeps your man guessing about what to expect.  Not only will it be a mystery of when he can orgasm but now he won't even know if it will be a full orgasm or ruined orgasm.  Ruining his orgasm also prolongs his denial period. He gets some release but not a full orgasm.  Therefore you can prolong the timeframe of when he is allowed a full orgasm by slipping in a few ruined orgasms. 

One final benefit that I would like to point out is that it can be used as a punishment.  If your man has been naughty or simply not meeting your expectations, you can announce that the next orgasm (or next 2, 3, etc.) will be ruined. 

Now that I covered the purpose of the ruined orgasm, let's go over some methods of how to ruin the orgasm.  As the title of this blog indicates, it is more of an art than a science.  There are many techniques and approaches to the ruined orgasm. You can get very creative with it.  Each person is different and as you get to know your man's reactions, you can adjust your techniques to maximize his teasing. 

The most basic approach is to stroke his cock and then at the moment he first spurts you release his cock and let it twitch and spurt on its own.  He will experience very brief pleasure at the first spurt but then once you release and there is no friction the orgasm becomes ruined and he is left frustrated.  This is a good way to introduce him to the ruined orgasm.  In my college days I would often do this with guys.  Back then I did it more for teasing then orgasm control. It was a bit cruel I guess but I loved it.  Funny thing was, the most guys would want to come back for me. I think they just never experienced a girl that paid so much attention to their cock. lol.

Another technique is to release his cock before he starts to cum.  This may take some practice because you have to anticipate when the orgasm is coming.  If you spend a considerable amount of time teasing your guy or if he has been denied an orgasm for a long period of time, this becomes easier to do.  With Thomas, I will often bring him to the edge of orgasm over and over again, stopping before he has an orgasm.  I will do this for 30 or more minutes. Usually by then he is mush and can barely control himself.  If I decide to go the ruined orgasm route, I will lightly stroke his cock with one or two fingers.  It literally twitches and bobs as he tries to hold back his orgasm.  At this point, if I gave him permission to orgasm, I could stroke with one finger and then he would shoot.  I prefer to tell him to try not to orgasm.  I enjoy seeing him struggle.  He eventually gets to a point where he can't hold back.  The fun part with this is that I can do a stroke or two and then watch his cock as he struggles to prevent his orgasms.  There have been times when I have stroked his cock and then watched him struggle for 20 or 30 seconds and then he spurted without me touching him.  That is art!  It is beauty to see him struggle and work so hard to please and obey me.  It is also a power rush to know that I control him so much and that no matter how hard he tries he can not stop me from giving him an orgasm.  What a mind fuck for him!  In these situations I don't feel that it is fair to punish him for having an orgasm without permission.  However,  I usually give him the disappointed look and tell him how weak he is.  

The variations (both mental and physical) you can apply to the above two techniques are endless and that's what makes is fun.  Some variations to experiment with:

•  Announce the ruined orgasm ahead of time or surprise him
• Tell him to try and orgasm while you tease him or tell him try not to orgasm while you tease him.  Imagine the fun of him trying to orgasm only to have you pull away at the last second and leave him with nothing.  Do this a few times and then send him over the edge and let go.
• Use your hands, mouth, tongue, panties, feathers, etc. to tease him. One of the most interesting videos I watched was a woman that held her man's cock straight up and she very slowly licked from bottom  to top until he spurted.
• Make him ruin the orgasm himself.  This is a good test of his loyalty. Will he let go before he spurts (bonus points for him), at the first spurt (good boy), or will he push the envelope and hold on a little longer after he spurts (bad boy.  Punishment time!).
• Combine with anal pleasure.  Stimulating the prostate will cause his cum to leak-out more.  Some women use this technique regularly to "milk" their man so that he can go very long periods without a orgasm.

Experiment and have fun with the variations.  I think it is great to always keep Thomas guessing as to what will happen next.  I want to share a ruined orgasm experience that I had with Thomas that absolutely drove him crazy for days afterwards but it has literally taking me over two weeks to write this post because I have been busy so I will share that experience in a follow-up post.

-Mz Kaylee

Permanently Caged?

 

Like many of you, I like to look around in Tumblr for sexy things, things that inspire and all around basic fun.  In doing so, I came across someone's account that has helped inspire Mistress K. and I to delve into something very new for us.  Actually, there are three Tumblr accounts that comprise the inspiration.  They are mrs--edge here, Denial Permanente here, and The Vanilla Edge here.  The first are operated by the same lady (we'll call her Mrs. Edge) and the third is run by her husband (we'll call him Tom Allen).

I love these people!  They are very unapologetic about the beautiful lifestyle that they led together.  You can get a better, more thorough description of their lifestyle by going to their pages.  The brief explanation of their lifestyle is that they are a middle aged, married couple that are very much in love with each other.  What makes them unique is that they don't pretend to be anything that might fit into anyone else's categories.  They practice permanent (24/7/365) caged denial for Tom and when they have sex, it is exclusively with the use of a Vixskin dildo made by She Vibe.  Tom is essentially not allowed to have PIV sex with his wife, and it is something that they both very much seem to cherish.  That is the extent of their "lifestyle".  There is no WLM/FLR.  There is female (or male) domination, no spankings, no cuckolding, or any of the other aspects of what many believe go with chastity cage usage.  They are simply a regular, normal, everyday vanilla couple where the husband cock is always caged, and when they have sex with each other, he is only ever wearing a faux cock.  Simple as that.

From all accounts, it appears to be a loving, beautiful relationship that is cherished by each of them.  It's a beautiful story really, and an enviable marriage.    

In recent posts, I have made brief mention of our marriage moving in the direction of a more permanent use of my chastity cage, and the more use of a faux cock for Mistress K. when she desires penetration.  Those posts are here and here.  

As you may know from other posts here, Mistress K. and I will spend quality time together on Sunday mornings, devoted exclusively to our marriage, lifestyle and our WLM.  I will read her blog posts that I come across that I know will be of interest to her, sexy erotic stories on a variety of topics, and generally communicate on a deep, honest level about the state of our union. 

During yesterday's (today is Monday) time together, I read to her, and we talked a lot something that we have been discussing a little recently.  That being permanent (mostly) chastity and the use of her new rubber boyfriend for penetration.  Included, naturally, in the discussion was my willingeness and ability to cum while I am caged.  I saw cum, but realistically the word should be ejaculate because for all intents and purposes, cumming in a cage amounts to a ruined orgasm.  Something we are both very much fans of.  

In a recent post, Mrs. Edge was asked this question:  "Does he still cum sometimes through the cage?"

Her answer was Epic:  "Sometimes? It’s the only way I allow him to come. 😉

Tom is still a horny 20 something year old, at least, in his head. Even though he is locked, when we make love with him wearing his harness and Vixskin, he still gets very close to coming.

About once a month or so, he knows he’s getting very close and that he can’t hold back. And sometimes, I’m really excited by how aroused he us, so I sort of encourage it along by telling him naughty things, like “I can’t even remember what the one in the cage felt like because this one is too good,” or “I love how your new cock is so hot and hard now.” Things like that will usually trigger him. 😈

He has to ask permission, or at least he has to tell me that he’s really close so I can decide to allow him… or not. I do enjoy making him come, so about once a month I let him. But sometimes I drag it out for 2 months. Other times, maybe not. But it’s always my decision, which is the best part!

This very thing was something I read to Mistress K. yesterday.  It spawned a very deep-dive conversation wherein we both wanted to give this kind of thing a try.  And why wouldn't we?  She loves having penetrative sex without having to worry about stopping or worrying about whether I am ready to burst before she has had all the good fucking she wants.  It makes perfect sense.  I took upon myself to ask her if me being mostly caged, and she being penetrated almost exclusively by her new rubber boyfriend in the strapon harness I wear, was something that would interest her.  Long story short .... that is our mode of operation going forward!

Mistress K. made it absolutely clear that she has no desire to move us toward me never being allowed inside her again.  She enjoys me being inside her from time, whether or not she allows me to cum.  In fact, as I told her yesterday, being inside her is my most blissful place to be on this earth.  Which is why we enjoy soaking so much.  Find out more about soaking here.

She asked me again yesterday if i felt that I could orgasm (ejaculate) while fucking her using the strapon.  My answer was ... absolutely!  The rules for ejaculation are still the same.  I may NOT ejaculate permission from Mistress K., even in this new arrangement of being caged and using the strap on to fuck her.  She said that she can that sometimes she can see giving authorization before I fuck her, and that she will likely allow ejaculation when asked during without prior authorization present, but I must still ask.  We even talked about whether or not this constitutes me being cuckolded by a rubber cock.  There was some nervous laughter leading up to an honest answer of yes, it does.

Our rapid journey has taken to places neither of us every thought we'd be, yet here we are.  I am so in love with my beautiful Wife!

A Day in the Life - a Red Bottom and Continued Denial

 

After assistance from your truly in getting her panties, like always, Mistress was all dressed and ready to head to the office.  She stopped for a moment to ponder something in silence.

She wasn't about to get even slightly undressed for what she had decided to do before leaving for the office.  "Come with me", she said.  "You're going to get a maintenance spanking."  But why Mistress, I asked.  "Because I want to. Do I need a reason?"  Of course not Mistress.  

And so the rare maintenance spanking had begun.  Nothing out of the ordinary.  She told me the usual things like, "this is good for you.", or "I don't want you to get too complacent.".  Again, the usual stuff.  Then she said, "And, if you misbehave, it will feel like this!"

One quick, really hard swat followed her words.  She put the paddle away, turned to face me and pointed to the ground.  I knelt, wrapped my arms around her gorgeous waist and bottom and thanked her with genuine enthusiasm for my spanking.  

Her words once again reminding me of my fate should I anger, or even disappoint here.

When it's all dais and done though, I am still very grateful that Mistress K. hasn't felt the need to use a cane.  Man, I'll bet that hurts!

Afterward, I was sent off to prepare her coffee and water for her drive to the office.

In general, our beautiful life together is humming right along.  Lovingly and happily.  That said, it's been 4 months since my last orgasm, absent the p-spot orgasm is achieved while we were on our anniversary trip.  In those 4 months, my p-gasm was the only ejaculation I've had.  No ruined orgasms, no milking ... nothing.  Which is more than just fine.  I've been able to participate in many of "our orgasms" that were achieved by Mistress K. during that time, which is something I love very much.  That said, again, I'm starting to feel some those unsettling feelings of need-to-cum that are based in my experience as an unsupervised horny man, prior to my orgasm denial training.  

Being caged 24/7 (mostly) has helped me prevent from imposing any needy characteristics to Mistress K., which is part of the reason it is now nearly always I am caged.  It was something we learned during Locktober and has brought us to the point of discussing things like only (mostly) cumming in my cage from things other than stimulation to my cock.  The excitement of that prospect still eclipses any anxiety from penis stimulation induced orgasms, but ......

In the meantime, I will continue to do my best to behave in such a way as to avoid these kinds of looks:

Have a great weekend everybody!

 

Non-Monogamy - by Emma

 

For my non-monogamy friends, my Friend Emma over at Evolving Your Man, recently posted an article she wrote about non-monogamy.  You can see it here.  Do go check it out.  It's excellent.  She runs an excellent site.  While you're there, become a member.  It's free and it's a great place to hang out.

Hysteria

Your job is clear men! 

"The harder it is to bring a woman to orgasm, the easier it is to bring her to hysteria."

-   Baruch Spinoza

1632 - 1677

She Fucked Him for the First Time

 

The house was ours again.  All the holiday company had gone home.  We were empty nesters again.  We've had Mistress K.'s "new boyfriend" (The Goodfella from Vixskin shown above) for a few weeks, but they weren't able to properly get acquainted until last night.  It appears it was a match made in heaven because loved how he fucked her.  

On the advice of an expert, it was my intention to warmup her new friend to something better than room temperature, but Mistress K. was just too eager to properly get to know him that it didn't happen.  She laid resting for 15 minutes afterward.  She was that worn out.  

Permanent?  No, not yet.  Frankly not likely to be permanent in the truest sense of the word.  Moving in that direction?  Yes, it seems so.  

Mistress K. is interested in exploring caged orgasms for the time being it seems.  I mentioned it before, our journey has rapidly accelerated.

"Your Break is Over"

Happy New Year Everyone !!!

On Christmas Eve, Mistress K. allowed me to remove my cage for the upcoming festivities with the family.  Ther were many in attendance and she agreed that an accidental brush against my cage in close quarters was something we wanted to avoid.  So, the cage came off.

Mistress K. then informed me that she was enjoying my cage-free status and that I would remain so until further notice. essentially while so much family was in town visiting.  "Further notice" came yesterday.  I was sent into the shower to put a fresh shave on my bits and to re-install my Jail Bird.  She also reminded me that being caged now, almost permanently, was the rule and NOT the exception.

There was no grousing on my part.  Truth be told, I missed the cage.  Not being caged for the past couple of weeks had caused an odd and recently discovered phenomenon that actually made it more difficult to be the kind of husband she expects me to be.  In other words, it's just easier and more natural when I am caged.

The change for us of me being caged nearly permanent started right our recent Anniversary trip in November.  For a couple of weeks leading up to the trip I was caged 24/7 and we both noticed the benefits of it.  At the time, permanent (mostly) chastity was being contemplated by her going forward.  Mistress wanted me to travel uncaged and to remain uncaged during our trip for her "easy access" to the cock that she owned.  Immediately upon our return, the cage went right back on until Christmas Eve.

Both comments in the above caption were true then.  Now, one of them is not true.  I actually want to be in chastity.  Being permanently caged (mostly) has made such a positive change in our relationship and our rapidly expanding journey into areas of our WLM that we had never been to before.  

Next week the kids go back to college, and we will once again be all alone in our house, with no prying eyes or ears.  Prior the holiday hiatus, Mistress asked a question about whether or not I would be able to cum while caged.  I said yes, of course.  Of course, it is up to Mistress K. where we go from here, but I wonder now if our discussions and journey toward permanent chastity will be enhanced.  

I'm not fearful of the prospect of permanent caging and orgasm being limited to a certain way.