Are we there already?

Are we at that inevitable point in our relationship, where Mistress's pleasure naturally would/should include another man's cock?  Maybe one that isn't prone to erupt in seconds because it has been constantly teased and denied, for weeks on end, like mine can be?  Is it that time in our relationship already?  Is it inevitable?  Am I prepared?

Each of us has our own little worlds that we live in.  We want those worlds to be safe, warm and full of love.  My love for Mistress K. is undeniable and as deep as anything I know and feel.  I want to bring her pleasure in life.  I want for her to have access to and the ability to enjoy, as much pleasure in life as possible.  Not just sexual pleasures, but every pleasure that is available to her.  I trust Mistress K. to be a very good arbiter of common sense when it comes to determining which pleasures she can safely indulge in, and which ones she can't.  For example, there is pleasure in cake and pie.  Mistress K., I suppose, could decide that because eating cake and pie is indeed a pleasure, and because she is in charge of determining what pleasures she can indulge in, she can eat cake and pie as much as she wants without ramifications.  Right?  Of course not, and she, like any rational person, knows that. 

What about sex?  Ah, now that's a different story, right?  I mean after all, Mistress K. is among a select group of people in this world.  Like relatively few others, she is someone that lovingly owns the heart, mind and body of someone else, which of course means that she could have any kind of sex, anytime she wants, any way she wants, simply because she wants to.  She decides the if, the when, the how of sex.  She also is the one that decides the who.  How great is that? 

Like any other group of people, those of us the FLR/FLM world are sometimes subject to what is claimed to be "normal".  Newbies starting out are worried about whether or not they are "doing it right".  Experienced couples ask and are asked questions all the time, about "is it normal for us to do this, or normal to do that ....?"  Personally, I've never been a fan of worrying about where any of us actually do or should "fit in".  I get a bit weary at the natural inclination of people (me included) to constantly try to define everything into narrow definitions.  There are even those that will give unsolicited opinions of how you/we are doing it right or doing it wrong.  I have a commenter who is an anonymous "Mistress".  She will occasionally comment or email me to let me know that until Mistress K. requires me to consume my own cum, we really don't have a legitimate FLM because, well, you know, it's what everyone does in an FLM.  Although she's adamant about, she's pleasant enough and even humorous about it that I really can't take offence to it.  Besides, even if I did, unless a commenter is blatantly, obviously and needlessly offensive, I'll always leave their comments in place.  Thankfully, Mistress K. and I don't feel the need to allow anyone outside of our deep love for each other, to define the parameters that love.

Even though some things are never "always required" to define the kind of relationship Mistress K. and I have, there are undeniable commonalities to a D/s relationship.  Especially a Female Led D/s relationship.  Of course, one of those "not uncommon" things is for the Dominant Female to take on a male lover .....  be it a full-on cuckold relationship, with humiliation, forced bi and other things that serve to degrade and humiliate the submissive male;    or Her taking a random, nameless, faceless male, human sex toy, it's obviously not an uncommon thing in a FLM/FLR. 

That being said, there are many, many monogamous FLM's, and my marriage is one of them.  Neither Mistress K. nor I have previously expressed a desire in the past for a separate male lover to sexually service Mistress K.  We are both very, very protective of the core elements of our love, and would never do anything to risk that.  It's a key reason why we never actually did engage I a threesome with other women when we had the chances in the past.  Safeguarding our love. 

One of the effects on me that has evolved from our FLM is that is I get an ENORMOUS amount of joy and pleasure from seeing Mistress K. having intense sexual pleasure and orgasm.  It is a genuine thrill for me.  It really is.  I've even been able to have a ruined orgasm by simply watching my beloved wife having a orgasm.  I am also so grateful that Mistress allows me to see her have her orgasms.  I know that isn't always the case for many submissive husbands.  Witnessing her having an orgasm will usually put me into immediate and deep subspace.  Our evolution has brought me to now get as much sexual pleasure from her orgasms, as I could get from having one on my own.  It is just that much of a joy to be a part of and to witness my beloved Wife having such pleasure. 

One of the realities of a FLM, is daily teasing/edging, followed by orgasm denial. For many couples, it's a key component in their recipe for happiness.  I know it is in mine.  As such, the male is in a nearl constant state of arousal, which means that he often a hair trigger penis, and can usually come in a matter of seconds when his penis is pressed into service (pun intended).  I'm sure there are some men out there than can do it, ..... that can go from a teased/denied, constant state of edge-of-orgasm arousal, to a porn-star like man that can fuck as long as she wants, and cum on command.  For the rest of us mortal humans, that kind of thing is usually not possible. 

There are times when suddenly Mistress feels the desire to be fucked, good, hard and for as long as she wants. When the times comes, and because of my constant state of arousal, it usually requires some numbing cream, a cock sleeve and waiting time for the cream to numb the cock. Should she have to be concerned about her sub cumming without permission, or worse, having to stop altogether to avoid ejaculation? This doesn't seem fair for any Mistress not to have a hard cock available to fuck her like she wants.

Last night I was having many random, crazy dreams.  In one of them, Mistress K. was getting fucked by another man, she was loving every second of it.  Not only that, I was there, naked, sitting behind her, holding her legs apart.  Not only that, I helped this strange man him fuck my wife by grabbing and holding his cock, and guiding it into her pussy, then watched as he brought intense pleasure from being fucked long and hard.  (In my dream, he didn't have a big, giant cock like that depicted in the picture below, but there are only so many pictures of husbands holding their wife's legs apart so she can fucked, and except for the giant cock, it's pretty much how I remember the scene in my slumbering head. * smile)

Not only that, when recalling that portion of the dream, I got a huge erection, and then I got another huge erection telling Mistress K. about it.  Wait, what?  Did I just say that?  This is something new.

How could this be?  The last time I had a sex dream that included any other man, it caused me to wake up in a panic.  It was one of those .... "oh good, it was only a dream, but I still need some reassurance from you right now" kind of dreams.  And in this particular dream, all she did was barely handle a guy's cock that happened to be lying next to us in bed, for some reason. 

With these things in mind and being a bit jealous by nature, how could I go from near panic about a dream where Mistress K. briefly touches another man's cock, to waking up as hard as a rock and very  aroused because another man fucked her?  How could this be?  I'd say the biggest difference between the two "mind-fuck" dreams, was that the man in my latest dream was merely a faceless, nameless human sex toy.  There was no intimacy between him and my Mistress.  No kissing, no typical cuckold fodder about how I was a useless man when it came to sex.  There was none of that.  He wasn't there to steal her, or replace me in her life in any way.  Mistress seemed very intent on making sure I knew that, during the dream.  In fact, there was a great deal of gratitude and intimacy that was directed solely at me while she was being well fucked by this other man. 

Are we there already?  Are we at that milepost on our journey?  Are we growing up?  Are we growing into our journey?  Oh boy ..........  What's next?

She was reading my blog .......

The past two mornings, before starting her routine for getting for the day, Mistress K. sat in her Queen chair in our bedroom, cup of freshly poured coffee next (that I had just brought her), opened up her iPad and did a little reading on this blog.  I don't mind telling you what a thrill I get when Mistress will take the time to read my blog. 

A few moments later, Mistress called me into the room.  I didn't know why ... I assumed she needed her coffee warmed up.  I walked over to her and she sent me back to the bedroom door to close and lock it.  There were kids in the house still sleeping.  "Get some lube in your hand", were her instructions and with that I removed my shorts and my rapidly hardened cock sprang forward.  I went into the closet and placed lube in my hand and returned, standing in front of her.  She pointed to the floor and said "kneel there".  I kneeled .......  "Masturbate for me" were her next words.  So while she continued to peruse my blog and read the comments from my dear friends and readers, I slowly, methodically stroked myself with my right hand while my left hand went behind my back. 

She gets a little caught up with my thoughts here (although there is months worth of posts that she still hasn't had the time to read) and gets to see the comments left by my fiends and readers.  For example, she asked me "Who is K in New England"?  I asked her if she remembered me telling her about a small group of submissive wives that I had become close blog friends with, and how they had essentially accepted me as one of their submissive "sisters".  She said she did and then mention that K was one of those sisters.  She giggled and thought that was adorable.  She then went "Ewwww" when reading a comment from Mistress A. who suggested in a comment on my post "Eve of Milking Day", that I be required to consume my cum on my monthly milking day.  She went on to suggest that she knew that even though I have said it is not something that is appealing to either Mistress K. or me, that it was something that I wanted to be required to do anyway.  Mistress K. asked me "you don't want to do that do you"?  I said, those are her words Mistress, not mine.

I was in heaven.  Dutifully kneeling there while she sipped her coffee and read by blog.  (Did I mention that I so much love it when she reads my blog?)  I sat there in awe of her as she sat so confidently in her chair, reading my blog.  I wondered what she was reading and what she was thinking of what she was reading, never once ceasing to stroke my cock for her.  I went through at least a dozen trips to the very edge of orgasm while she continued her reading, letting out moans of delicious agony as I struggled to continue to stroke myself while simultaneously struggled to avoid having an ejaculation. 

Suddenly she said "go get my leather paddle".  I thought this was it.  I thought the dreaded, anticipated, significant punishment was about to happen.  Instead, Mistress had me stand in front of her and while continuing to stroke myself, she played with my ass and her paddle.  I instinctively knew that this wasn't the punishment I have anticipating with some dread and fear, and she confirmed that to be the case.  "No, I just wanted to have a little fun is all".  During this "play" spanking, Mistress discovered a way to be able to add a little extra sting with her paddle with a particular angle.  It's just an added bonus when Mistress can unexpectedly discover something new with our dynamic that she can use in the future.  After about 30 swats or so, she handed me the paddle, had me put it away and then told me to wash my hand, put my shorts back on and return to her.  When those things where completed, I returned to her, kneeled in front of her as she sat in her throne and she extended an arm to me, pulling me into her so I could relish in her tenderness.  I so very much love those moments after a paddling, even play paddling's like I had just received.  The words "thank you for my spanking Mistress" involuntarily came from my mouth and upon those words, she pulled in closer.

Shortly after, she excused me so she could continue her reading uninterrupted.  I am so in love with this woman!

Sunday, yummy Sunday (continued)

I mentioned in my previous about other yummy things that happened last Sunday, so here goes:

After receiving the surprisingly hard spanking earlier in the day, and the beautiful aftercare that followed, I found myself with a kind of "walking on air" feeling for the rest of the day.  It was getting close to bedtime.  We had finished a lovely dinner as a family and Mistress was putting the kids to bed.  She had informed me that we were going to sit outside and enjoy the beautiful Arizona evening before we went to bed.  You know, we time.  There were no sexual overtones.  It was just supposed to be the two of us sitting outside, enjoying quiet paradise.  It's something we do from time to time and is very relaxing.   I was still grimy from the activities of the day (working on the car and around the yard) so I went to take a shower so I could be clean, smelling good and better to cuddle with when were went outside.  

In the shower I put a fresh shave on my down-there regions because Mistress had recently told me that there were be more frequent inspections of that area in order to confirm compliance of the rule that I always be freshly shaved around my cock, balls and ass.  Spanking punishment would be the result of non-compliance and with Mistress' recent, renewed enthusiasm for harshly punishing me, and mostly because I don't want to disappoint Mistress, I have started to shave there every other day, sometimes on consecutive days.  For those of us that shave down there, you probably know that sometimes you just can't seem to get s nice, close shave, and other times you can get a beautiful smooth-all-over shave.  When that happens, at least for me, it makes me feel especially sexy.  This night was one of those awesome shaving experiences and I was as smooth and buttery I can ever remember.  Getting out of the shower and applying the Tend Skin, I was feeling especially proud and decided that I would accompany Mistress outside wearing only a t-shirt.  The one I wore went down about an inch or so past my but and in that moment, it felt like I was a naked girl, wearing no panties under a short dress.  It was hot.

I went outside dressed like, expecting to see Mistress but she was still putting the kids to bed.  After about 10 minutes, she emerged and came to join me on the outside bench couch to enjoy the quiet of the night.  Since it was dark, she didn't know that I was naked under my short "dress".  After a few minutes, we were cuddling and she went to put her hand on my cock and was surprised to find me naked down there.  She very much approved and began to inspect my down-there region of signs of hair.  She was very pleased with me that I was buttery smooth.  As she does often, she purposely avoids direct contact with my penis during inspection, as a way to tease me and to keep the act of inspection all business.  Jokingly, I mentioned that she didn't need to ignore my shaft during her inspection because there are the occasional hairs that grow there that she should be certain were removed.  She giggled and said no and removed her hand and we resumed our cuddling.  I was left with a growing cock and no expectation of anything further. 

She pulled away from me slightly, sat up and lifting my little shirt that was barely covering my parts and without warning, leaned down and took me into her mouth and starting to give me a beautiful, tender, lovingly sincere blow job.  I was in heaven.  I won't go on to explain the obvious joy of receiving a blowjob but I will tell you that for me, I consider it such an incredible honor anytime Mistress allows my penis to enter any part of her body.  Her body is my temple and to look down and see my beautiful queen making love to my cock with her mouth is almost an indescribable joy.  I immediately feel like I am the luckiest man in the world.  It's hard to explain, but it's more of an emotional euphoria than physical.  On this beautiful night, in this beautiful setting, my Queen, my Mistress was pleasuring my cock with her mouth.  It was absolute heaven. 

Event though I hadn't cum in forever, I was surprised at how long I could go without informing Mistress that I was near orgasm.  It was like 10 minutes of pure bliss.  When I was approaching orgasm, Mistress would stop for a moment and lay her head on my chest leaving my rock hard cock bobbing and wanting more attention.  About 2 minutes later, without saying a word, Mistress resumed her oral gift and it went on for another 7-8- minutes before she stopped to prevent me from cumming.  She then decided it was time for us to go to bed and ordered me to my feet.  She stood in front and pulled up my shirt as if her little slut was standing there, naked under her dress, waiting to be revealed.  That feeling of objectification that moment was magical.  "let's go to bed" she said and turned to walk inside. 

Once in bed, I asked Mistress (like I do every night before we go to sleep) if she would like an orgasm this night.  She said she would and she instructed me to stand at the side of the bed bed.  She then instructed me to knell on the floor beside the bed.  Once I was properly kneeling, she scooted to the edge, opened her legs and without saying a word, silently commanded me to service her orally.  Being allowed to put my mouth on her pussy or anus gives me the same feeling of true honor of being allowed to worship at her temple like this.  She had me stop when she said "put your cock inside me".  My cock was never harder.  Being allowed to worship at her temple always gets me that way.  I stood immediately and slowly entered her while she was marinating in sexual pleasures.  Looking down at her as I slowly slide my cock inside was yet another glorious moment of honor for me.  I slowly filled and began to slowly push in and out of her when the feeling of a pending orgasm came rushing toward me.  I stopped and at that point she could sense why and without skipping a beat, she said "get back down there".  This was something new an different because normally Mistress doesn't like the idea of me putting my mouth where my cock had just been.  It's probably for the same (or similar) reason that she doesn't like the idea of me having to consume my cum like so many other submissive men are required to do.

I alternated between cock and tongue for what seemed like forever when she instructed me to hand her the vibrator. When I did, she rolled onto her tummy then pushed her ass up in the air and ordered me to resume fucking her, but this time with my penis extension (pinky) on.  It was obvious she didn't want her orgasm being pre-empted by me finding myself on the edge of orgasm.  With the vibrator doing it job nicely on her clit while my cock was buried inside her, she had two intense orgasms, one after the other until finally collapsing on the bed.  I stepped back and stood dutifully at the side of the bed while she recovered.   That vision was yet another experience that I was honored to be allowed to have.  Seeing lead up to an orgasm, have 2 of them and then watch her lay there in post-orgasmic joy.  I stood there a very proud and thankful submissive husband, relishing in the gifts that my benevolent Mistress Wife had bestowed upon me. 

As she was getting her "legs" back following her orgasm, she asked me when was the last time I had an orgasm.  "Early February Mistress" was my reply.  Of course I was hopeful that her question was an indicator that I may be having one this evening until she next said, "put everything where it belongs and come cuddle me in bed.  You'll be going to sleep with a hard cock tonight".  After cleaning everything and putting things where they belong, I climbed into bed, nuzzled up next to my naked Mistress Wife that was still feeling the physical effects of her incredible orgasms, and held her close while she fell asleep.  Before she dozed off, I was able to whisper into her ear how grateful I was for the entire day and for her ownership of me.  She let out a moan that sounded like a contented smile and quickly fell asleep. 

What a lucky man I am.  My God, what a lucky man I am.

I think I'll make you orgasm

Last night, I was laying naked in bed, waiting for Mistress to join me.  In the winter (even though it's sunny warm Phoenix) Mistress wear sock, pajama pants and a t-shirt to bed.  Guh. For obvious reason, I so much prefer when Mistress sleeps naked.   Anyway ... as she was going through her routine of getting all 3 of her pillows adjust in just perfect position, and making sure the blanket was the perfect length to be able to fully cover her as she settles in to her comfy bed (this process can take as much 3 or minutes, even longer if she forgets something 3/4 of the way through, has to get out of bed and return to start the process all over), Mistress asked me ... "when was the last time you had an orgasm?"  I replied, "do you mean a ruined orgasm, or a real one?".  "A real one", she said.

"October 15, 2014 Mistress", was my reply.  The was a bit of pride in my reply..  After all, that was 3 1/2 months since my last full on orgasm and since then, I have had some of the most incredible sex of my entire life, have never been more genuinely in love with my beautiful Wife and have never desired her sexually.  She was rolling into her final resting spot for the evening on and in her mountain of pillows when she said "Hmmm, I think I'll make you have an orgasm".  There was reason given, no time table, no indication that it was going to be that night ..... just the lingering threat of a forced orgasm. 

Interestingly (at least to me), I began to think about the forced orgasm coming my way in much the same way I feel when Mistress has declared that I will be receiving a punishment spanking.  That regret and fear of something that you know will happen.  Something that is an enigma in that the idea of having to endure a harsh, punishment spanking (or something else that Mistress may require) is arousing, but the actual act while it is happening .... isn't.  Why in the world would equate the idea of my beautiful, sexy, gorgeous, loving, nurturing Mistress making me have an orgasm, to the searing sting, pain and shame that comes with a punishment spanking.  Not one of those sexy, foreplay kind of spankings .... I mean one of those "you really fucked boy and your ass is going to pay for it" kind of spankings.

Mine is not to question when, why and how Mistress will declare a punishment spanking is necessary, or anything else for that matter.  If Mistress wants me to have an orgasm, that's what will happen, even if I don't want to have one.  Do you think it's possible for someone outside the lifestyle, someone vanilla, to even be able to understand how it could be possible that I am happier than I ever have been in my marriage, and in my sex life, with the knowledge that my last full orgasm was over 3 1/2 months ago, and only because the was the last time my wife allow me to have one?  I love my life.  I love my wife!

Unexpected but very welcomed

On Friday morning, I was waiting naked in my usual spot for Mistress to return from taking the kids to school.  Being able to greet her naked when she walks in the door is one of those simple little pleasures that mean the world to me.  I am grateful for being able to frequently do that during the school year.  I will sometimes daydream about it being this way at all times once we are empty-nesters ... someday.

She walked in the door and as usual said "hello there naked boy" and came over and held me close.  While we were hugging and I was pressing myself against (because she allows me to do that), she said "we need to trim your body hair.  Come with me".  With that she led me into the bathroom and instructed me to retrieve the clippers and get them set up.  She took me into our walk-in shower and proceeded to trim (very closely) on my entire body.  This process usually take about 10 minutes, not because I am that particularly hairy (she might disagree) but more because Mistress likes to do nice job.  It's a wonderful feeling to be required to "stand still" and be naked while Mistress attends to my body, even if it is for a trim. 

When we were done, I was cleaning up the hair from the shower floor (wasn't too much) and putting away the clippers and whatnot, Mistress was watching me intently.  A quick rinse in the shower followed and when I emerged, Mistress wanted to touch me.  Yummy.  I love it when Mistress touches me but I especially do when she is feeling amorous and frisky.  I love how she holds my ass cheeks open and reminds me that it is hers.  I love it how she will tease me unmerciful by moving her hands all over my body but avoiding my cock and balls.  On this morning however, she didn't avoid anything.  She had me sufficiently teased and edged in no time.  She'd bring me to the edge and then while I'm teetering on it, she tell me that I had better not cum.  Then she'll stop for a moment and do it again.  All this was happening while we were standing in the middle of the bathroom, in front of the mirror while she was having me look at what she was doing to me.  This process repeated six or seven times and in the mirror, I was able to see the ledge on the edge of our big tub where just 5 or 6 days earlier, Mistress had called me into the bathroom while she was in the tub.  She had me bring my phone to her.  On that ledge I was told to stand facing her, spread my legs as far as need to straddled that end of the tub, and then masturbate for her viewing pleasure while she bathed, shaved her legs and shaved her pussy.  Seeing the spot in the mirror brought my mind to what an incredible thing that was.  All this reminiscing was happening while Mistress was edging me mercilessly.  I was right on the verge, dangerously so and urgently I let Mistress know i was there.  She didn't stop.  I tried to wriggle away to avoid cumming without permission but she ordered me to not move.  She continued despite my pleas to stop or "I will come".  From experience I knew that Mistress had every intention of ruining my orgasm right then and so i asked her permission to ejaculate.  She didn't say a word but it was obvious that I was at the point of no return when Mistress abruptly stopped stroking me and simple, and calmly said "yes, you may ejaculate if you are able", and then starting to rub my ass and hole.  Within 10 seconds, my ejaculation was pouring out of me and on to the floor where I stood. 

Once all the cum stopped draining from my needy cock, Mistress removed her hands from my body, kissed me tenderly on the cheek and said "clean up your little mess and get dressed for work".  I said yes Mistress, thank You Mistress and went to retrieve a towel and some wet wipes while she walked out of the room.  With all the talk recently about cum eating, I paused for a moment and wondered how it would feel if my instructions were to eat my cum.  It was only a second and I was glad those weren't my instructions.  I cleaned up the mess on the floor, went into the kitchen where Mistress was and thanked her for my ruined orgasm, for the body maintenance and for loving me like she does.

It was a good morning. 

Cum Eating

ROBERT_ANTHONY'S CHASTITY & FEMDOM BLOG, is one of my favorite blogs to follow. One of the things that Robert Anthony has in common with several other sub/slave husbands in established FemDomme Marriages is being required to always/occasionally eat or ingest their own cum. The idea of eating my cum makes me have to hold back a gag reflex. But, i must now admit that i find when i am reading a blog entry that is describing the sub husband being required to eat his own cum, gives me a hard-on. I know that it isn't the act of eating cum that has any appeal whatsoever, it doesn't. Rather it is the symbolic submissive gesture of always/sometimes being required to perform an "unpleasant act" as the price for orgasm that is arousing. Recently i commented on a blog entry by Robert Anthony. In it are some of my thoughts on this topic. You can find it here http://chastity-femdom.blogspot.com/2014/07/31-days-and-out.html?showComment=1405526990041#c3934840877095411952 In his story, he talked about having to eat his own cum after a surprise orgasm that he was given, that his Mistress smeared on her ass for no other purpose than for him to clean with his tongue. My cock was hard as a rock reading that story and i soon realised that the cum eating description was part of it. Now, i want to reiterate here that Mistress K. finds that me being required to eat my own cum is gross. The idea of doing it, in and of itself alone is gross to me too. However, the idea that as a submissive, there is a "high price" to pay for right to be able to ejaculate is extremely exciting. Skin-in-the-game so to speak. I know this falls under the category of "be carefull for what you wish for", like mentioning that i think Mistress should spank me harder and longer, even to the pint of bruises and possbily tears if need be, in order to more firmly establish her dominance and to better deter undesireable behavior. i know that if i were ever presented with having to eat my own cum, expecially following a full orgsm, that it would something i'd try and talk her out of, but i would still do it if it were something that Mistress required. i know Mistress K. will read this post and i know that it will be something i will need to talk about with Her in more depth about it. On one hand, it's not anything like eating shit or drinking piss (2 hard limits for me and Mistress K., thank God), it's just kind of yucky. I think Mistress may also associate a male eating cum as being too closely assocaited with male homosexual behavior, which i believe is something that she doesn't find sexually arousing. On the other hand, because we both agree(d) that eating my cum was gross, we both agreed that it woldn't be a part of our play, although it was never discussed as a hard limit like other , more obvious hard limit items like scat, blood, animals, incest, etc ................... At the end of the day, it isn't ever up to me what types of activities or play we engage in, or if we do at all. It is always (and always will be) at the discretion of Mistress K. Since this blog is all about my ability to express myself honestly and communicate with others, i felt it was important enough to note that i was getting erections from reading how other sub husband were required to eat their cum, and i wasn't sure why. Perhaps this will be considered as the "shit is out of the horse" now, or Pandora's box is officially open. We'll see.