Blue Balls

 

It may sound crazy, but I have the epitome of aching blue balls and I love how it feels!  The dull ache that rests inside my pants is a constant reminder of the object of my emotional, spiritual and lustful desires.

 

On Friday I posted about how Mistress K. instructed me to masturbate to the edge every hour, on the hour, for the entire day.  Right up until bedtime.  I had no idea what, if anything would come of it in the sex play department but I found out as soon as we got into bed.  NOTHING!  Mistress wanted nothing more than for me to cuddle and nuzzle her while she fell quietly to sleep i our marital bed.  I asked if I could have relief then and she quietly said no.  "This is not the time .... now go to sleep "

 

Saturday was a day filled with busy family and parenting stuff, all day and night.  Apart from me walking over to her at various times during the day, to nuzzle in her neck and to tell her that I loved her, there was no physical interaction romantically or sexually.

 

Sunday?  Sunday?  Sunday was quite a bit different.  Mistress awoke about 7:45 in the morning.  When I heard her rise, I scurried to retrieve her coffee as I do every morning.  I handed it her and she was still very bleary eyed and sleepy.  Her long straight red hair was a disheveled tangled mess that half covered her face.  She was wearing her short little nightie that although isn't designed to be sexy but rather comfortable, I think it is sexy as hell.  I held her tight, kisses her face and neck and took in the body aroma that is uniquely her and declared my daily devotion to her.  She then hurried off to the restroom.

 

When she returned, she had shaken off the sleepiness and walked over to me sitting in the chair at the computer and began to kiss my neck.  She reached down and started to rub me through my shorts and gave me my instructions for the day.  She said "beginning at 8 this morning, you are to edge yourself every half hour for the entire day".  She grabbed my face, looked me in the eye and asked me if I understood my instructions.  I said "Yes maam".  "Good boy" and with that she kissed me softly then went to the kitchen to make breakfast for the kids.  She got 5 feet away then returned and said "oh, and you'll be wearing frilly panties all day".  She kissed me again and then left. 

 

EVERY HALF HOUR!!!!!  We went to bed at 10:30 that night.  Some quick math will tell that during the day on Sunday, I brought myself to the edge 29 times.  Yes .... 29 times.  She didn't come right out and say it, but she eluded to the fact that at the end of the day that I would be separated from the fluid that was gathering in my balls.  When we finally got into bed (she had to wake me up from the couch), she turned to me and started kissing me softly and saying what a good boy I was.  She started rubbing my soft cock and in no time i was all revved up in anticipation of, well, I didn't;t actually know, but i was certain it would be something.  Would she just drain me to ease the ache?  Would she stroke me until I couldn't hold it any longer and feign being disappointed that I came without permission?  I was pretty certain that she wasn't going to allow me to enter her because she knew that with all of that edging, I'd go off before I was able to get the whole head in. 

 

She stroked me to the edge 3 or 4 more times to the point i was begging her to allow me to ejaculate.  I wasn't asking to orgasm, I was begging to be drained.  She kissed me softly, held my face and quietly said no.  Now is not the time, and then rolled over and instructed me to cuddle her.  For the next 10 minutes I begged, whimpered, begged some more in desperate hope that she would acquiesce

and allow me to drain my balls.  She would have none of it and finally had to sternly tell me that if she had to say no one more time, I would be punished right then! 

 

Which brings us to today.  This morning, i was noticeably pouty about the fact that I was so frustrated about being denied the previous night.  She made a very subtle warning that this sort of behavior was not going to be tolerated ... at all!  I got the message real quick and apologized for being pouty.  A short time later, after bringing her a fresh cup of coffee and while she was facing the mirror putting on her makeup, I knelt behind her, slowly lifted her nightie and placed tender soft kisses on her gorgeous bottom and thanked her for her strength and for allowing me to be owned by her.  She informed that today I was to edge myself every 90 minutes throughout the day and then she handed me the panties that she wanted me to wear for the day.  I took the panties, said "Yes Mistress" and then thank her before leaving her to finish what she was doing.

 

Being in this state of unbelievably constant state of desire has allowed me to remember that it is not at all about my desire, or whether or not i think i should be allowed to cum, ruined or otherwise.  it is all about her and if having do this makes her happy, then it most certainly makes me happy. 

Masturbate for me!

This morning I was working away on the computer.  It was early and only Mistress and I were awake in the house, and she was in the shower.  I heard the shower turn and just then I was summoned.  "Lover ... ? come here please!"  I marched into the bathroom and she was just emerging from the shower.  She was naked (yay) and wet and while she was beginning to dry herself, she said "take off your pants and masturbate for me".  I removed my shorts, reached for the bottle of lube and started to walk toward her. 

She pointed to the big Jacuzzi tub we have and said "there.  Sit there on the edge of the tub and masturbate for me while I dry myself.  I want to watch you".  I began my task but since I was only 20 seconds or so into it, my cock was getting hard, but wasn't fully hard.  She said "I want to see it hard!"  "Yes Mistress".  Those words were all it took and I was hard as a diamond in another 15 seconds.  It didn't take long for me to arrive at the edge, and it coincided with her finishing drying her hair.  She merely said .... "you may go now" and pointed to the bathroom door.  It's the little things!

It's the little things.  Last evening I was standing at my sink in my bathroom after just changing out of my fancy work clothes'.  I was wearing loose shorts and a t shirt when she walked up behind me, and while pointing at the counter in from of me, said "hands".  She pulled my shorts down just past my ass and began spanking me with her hand.  There were no words and although this wasn't a punishment spanking, it was still firmer than before Mistress decided to amp up the paddling.  She spanked my bare bottom with her hand about 12-13 times and promptly pulled my shorts back up and walked over to her sink on her side of the bathroom, which is about 20 feet away.  On my way out of the bathroom, I walked over to her and stood for a second while she exposed her neck, indicating that is where i should kiss her.  I did just that and then said "Thank you for my spanking Mistress", then left the room.

It's the little things.

We never really fight

But last night we had a tiff.  Mistress was explaining what had just happened with one of our kids and I was rolling my hand as if to encourage her to get to the point.  That's when the trouble started. It was an incredibly rude thing to do and she let me know she wasn't at all happy with me by immediately sopping the conversation, leering at me and then going silent.  For about 15 minutes following, I brooded thinking she shouldn't be so upset over something so small. 

We went about our business getting dinner ready which required some interaction.  It was clear that she remained unhappy with me.  I thought about the many wise words from my dear friend I'm Hers (  http://im-hers.blogspot.com/  ) and quickly realized that my actions were both unnecessary and disrespectful.  I sincerely apologized to Mistress K and she quickly accepted my apology.  I immediately felt that I may have avoided one of those "severe punishment spankings".  The kind where Mistress K. forces me to masturbate to orgasm proceeding a hard spanking.  Quickly things got back to "normal" and we were having a nice, wonderful evening enjoying each other's company.

I went to bed before Mistress K. and fell asleep quickly.  I had showered before going to bed and thought I'd surprise her by having her sub laying naked in bed, wearing a hint of her favorite cologne that she loves so much.  When she came to bed she nuzzled beside me and started rubbing my butt, running her fingers lightly over and barely between my ass cheeks.  She knows how much I love that.  She whispered to me that I had angered her earlier and that this was now that second offense for which I had a spanking pending, while she continued to rub my bottom.  She abruptly removed the sheets, exposing my bare ass and gently placed a kiss on my ass.  I was both horny and worried about what was to come next.  She stopped rubbing me and then rolled over and settled in for the night.  She said goodnight, placed a hand on my ass and drifted off to sleep.  I tried to entice some more of her tender attention to my bottom but she was not interested.  We both fell asleep.

This morning was like any other morning.  Mistress retrieved the coffee I had made for and set about getting ready for her day.  After her shower, while she was about to blow dry her hair, she called me into the bathroom, had me lock the door, told me to get some lube and instructed me to sit on the floor and masturbate while she dried her hair.  She was naked expect for the Uggs boots she likes to wear in the morning.  I began to masturbate while watching her dry her hair.  She was a vision of gorgeousness occasionally leaning over to offer me a view of hat ass I love to worship so much.  She stopped and said "you will not be cumming"!  When I told her I was going to cum if I didn't stop stroking, she said "you'd better figure it out".  OMG it was torture.  I was successful in continuing without cumming but it was the most intense edging I have had in some time.  When she was done drying her hair, she said "you may stop now.  Get cleaned up and return to what you were doing."  I'm not certain, but I'm pretty sure that was a form of punishment because Mistress wouldn't let me stop, and she wouldn't let me cum, and she wouldn't let me touch her.

As I write this, my blue balls ache while my mind considers my pending punishment(s).  I am so sorry Mistress.

Do Happy Couples Masturbate?

I came across this little article that discusses whether "Happy Couples Masturbate".  Here it is:

https://www.yahoo.com/style/do-happy-couples-masturbate-110287879458.html

I wasn't much surprised from reading the article.  These types of articles reveal similar information each time one is published.  People discussing how natural it is and that every does it (and we do).  The more there is "conversation" going on about sexual things that were once only discussed behind closed doors or in Penthouse Forum articles, the better as far as I am concerned.   I've also noticed an increases in titillating articles such as this one since the movie depicting America's latest obsession  came out over the weekend.  Again, I think it's nice.

One thing that you'll notice in the article is that when describing happy couples that masturbate, they talk only about the woman that masturbates, again in the context of a "happy couple" .... whatever that might be.  In fact, in this article and others, they point out that the more unhappy the marriage is, the more frequently the man in the relationship will masturbate.  I wholeheartedly agree that this little factoid is true.  I'll even suggest that one could turn that a around a bit and be just as accurate ..... the more the man masturbates, the more unhappy his marriage becomes."  Kind of a "chicken-and-the-egg" syndrome.  It's very likely in my opinion that they are both entirely true and have a direct correlation to each other.

Over the weekend, Mistress and I were talking and extoling the virtues of our relationship.  We were both prideful and beaming about how wonderfully our FLM has gone and that we are so much more in love, in lust and in tune with each other than we have ever been before.  We are connecting on a level so much deeper than either of us could've imagined when we first fell in love, and even when we first crossed over into our FLM.  I firmly believe that none of this would've been possible if it wasn't for one core principle in our Female Led Marriage ....... a complete and utter prohibition for me to masturbate without approval from Mistress, and under the direct supervision of Mistress.

Be fore our FLR, I masturbated at least three times a week.  Usually in the shower and it was usually impromptu.  Each time, in the back of my mind, I knew that I was letting some of my lust, some of my passion, wash away and down the shower drain.  I wouldn't hide it from my (then vanilla) wife.  We were open about things then too.  I masturbated not because I was unhappy with my wife. Not at all.  I did it because I could, whenever I was horny I just did it.  You know, "if it feels good do it" mentality.  Little did I know then that what I was doing was depriving my marriage, my wife and myself from the otherwise available sexual energy that was now just swirling down the drain every other day or so in the shower. 

This very topic was one of the main reasons for my desire to formerly ask my wife if she would consider becoming my Mistress Wife.  I am prohibited from touching myself sexually in any way, even in the tiniest way.  I am only allowed to touch any part of my body in a non-sexual way and the obvious sexual parts of my body I am only allowed to touch for naturally occurring things or to clean them.  Mistress trusts me implicitly in this regard and I have never even considered breaking that trust.  Knock on wood.  To do so would mean enforced chastity (cock cage) or severe punishments, or both.

All this being said and with the complete loss of freedom to touch myself sexually, and with the rare orgasms, sometimes rare teasing and denial, I have never had better more loving sex in my entire life.  I couldn't be happier and the true, down in the soul, deep, deep love that I genuinely have for my Goddess Queen Wife has never been better.

Have a great week everybody!

Objectification. It's the little things

I was in the shower this morning getting ready to go to work.  Mistress returned from taking the kids to school and stood in the entry to the shower to tell me a story she had just heard on the radio about a cat that was thought to be dead, was buried, then clawed it's way out of the grave and is alive.  It was an interesting story.

While I was washing myself and rinsing my hair under the warm water, she was looking at me in a way that made me feel she really enjoyed what she was seeing.  When we were through talking about the cat story, she reached for a small wash cloth and placed it on the floor of the shower.  She told me put some soap in my hand and then told me to kneel on the small cloth.  I was instructed to masturbate for her.  I was not erect when I was given these instructions but started to masturbate anyway.  She likes to have me masturbate for her, I think partly because she just likes to watch and partly because she likes to allow me to because I no longer am able to masturbate like i did before we entered this glorious life that we lead. 

She said "I don't want to watch you stroke a limp cock.  Get it hard for me."  Even though i was limp, I was at the edge of orgasm.  She didn't care, and repeated her instruction to get it hard.  It was very much like what is expected in a "Devotional Sex" relationship where the man (knight) is expected to reveal his penis and then become erect when the woman (Princess) utters the word "present".  My erection was on it's way, albeit slower than either of us wanted.  The moment she raised an eyebrow as if to project that failure to become erect immediately would result in disappointment, I became hard as a rock!  This pleased Mistress to no end and as such, she lifted the pajama top she was wearing to reveal her breasts and torso and moved toward where I was kneeling, and offered them to me to worship.  I so much love to worship Mistress' breasts and tummy, and especially that part between her belly button and her, um, promised land.  After only a few minutes, she told me to stop, finish my shower and then get ready for work.  She told me (for the 3rd day in a row) to just dress normal under my clothes today.  Since starting our FLM, there has never been a 3rd day in a row that Mistress has instructed me not to wear something.  It's rarely ever 2 days in a row for that matter. 

Did I feel objectified by Mistress during this impromptu little scene?  Yes I did.  Did I enjoy being objectified by Mistress?  YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT I DID!  There is hardly anything I enjoy more than performing sexually for Mistress' viewing pleasure.  I just love it when she tells me to do it, whether it is masturbating while she watches or showing her how I fuck my self with the dildo she has for me.  When it is not something planned like this morning, it is especially rewarding.

Thank you Mistress!

Unexpected but very welcomed

On Friday morning, I was waiting naked in my usual spot for Mistress to return from taking the kids to school.  Being able to greet her naked when she walks in the door is one of those simple little pleasures that mean the world to me.  I am grateful for being able to frequently do that during the school year.  I will sometimes daydream about it being this way at all times once we are empty-nesters ... someday.

She walked in the door and as usual said "hello there naked boy" and came over and held me close.  While we were hugging and I was pressing myself against (because she allows me to do that), she said "we need to trim your body hair.  Come with me".  With that she led me into the bathroom and instructed me to retrieve the clippers and get them set up.  She took me into our walk-in shower and proceeded to trim (very closely) on my entire body.  This process usually take about 10 minutes, not because I am that particularly hairy (she might disagree) but more because Mistress likes to do nice job.  It's a wonderful feeling to be required to "stand still" and be naked while Mistress attends to my body, even if it is for a trim. 

When we were done, I was cleaning up the hair from the shower floor (wasn't too much) and putting away the clippers and whatnot, Mistress was watching me intently.  A quick rinse in the shower followed and when I emerged, Mistress wanted to touch me.  Yummy.  I love it when Mistress touches me but I especially do when she is feeling amorous and frisky.  I love how she holds my ass cheeks open and reminds me that it is hers.  I love it how she will tease me unmerciful by moving her hands all over my body but avoiding my cock and balls.  On this morning however, she didn't avoid anything.  She had me sufficiently teased and edged in no time.  She'd bring me to the edge and then while I'm teetering on it, she tell me that I had better not cum.  Then she'll stop for a moment and do it again.  All this was happening while we were standing in the middle of the bathroom, in front of the mirror while she was having me look at what she was doing to me.  This process repeated six or seven times and in the mirror, I was able to see the ledge on the edge of our big tub where just 5 or 6 days earlier, Mistress had called me into the bathroom while she was in the tub.  She had me bring my phone to her.  On that ledge I was told to stand facing her, spread my legs as far as need to straddled that end of the tub, and then masturbate for her viewing pleasure while she bathed, shaved her legs and shaved her pussy.  Seeing the spot in the mirror brought my mind to what an incredible thing that was.  All this reminiscing was happening while Mistress was edging me mercilessly.  I was right on the verge, dangerously so and urgently I let Mistress know i was there.  She didn't stop.  I tried to wriggle away to avoid cumming without permission but she ordered me to not move.  She continued despite my pleas to stop or "I will come".  From experience I knew that Mistress had every intention of ruining my orgasm right then and so i asked her permission to ejaculate.  She didn't say a word but it was obvious that I was at the point of no return when Mistress abruptly stopped stroking me and simple, and calmly said "yes, you may ejaculate if you are able", and then starting to rub my ass and hole.  Within 10 seconds, my ejaculation was pouring out of me and on to the floor where I stood. 

Once all the cum stopped draining from my needy cock, Mistress removed her hands from my body, kissed me tenderly on the cheek and said "clean up your little mess and get dressed for work".  I said yes Mistress, thank You Mistress and went to retrieve a towel and some wet wipes while she walked out of the room.  With all the talk recently about cum eating, I paused for a moment and wondered how it would feel if my instructions were to eat my cum.  It was only a second and I was glad those weren't my instructions.  I cleaned up the mess on the floor, went into the kitchen where Mistress was and thanked her for my ruined orgasm, for the body maintenance and for loving me like she does.

It was a good morning. 

Wear your plug today

Mistress' bestie arrived last night and they spent plenty of time cathcing up, giggling and just having plain old fun.  They just left to go to an overnight activity that will keep us apart until tomorrow night.  Booo!  Mistress' friend that arrived in town is the other other person that knows all about our FLM.  There was no conversation about it that included me and frankly I am not aware that they even talked about it last night.  This morning there was a couple of casual remarks in direct reference to my being controlled by Mistress K. with her friend and they seemed competely natural and without any embarrasement...on anyone's part.  I don't know if there will be any conversation (or ?) or not once they return and before her friend leaves to go back home or not.  I will of course leave that entirely up to Mistress K.  I am prepared to demonstrate of role in our marriage in any way (subtle or otherwise) that Mistress K. might deem appropriate (or not).

This morning, after i got out of the shower and before they left, Mistress came into the closet where I was waiting for her, naked and in anticipation of her instructions on what to wear under my clothes today.  She seemed unsure about what she wanted me to wear and asked me directly what is most comfortable to wear under my jeans.  I'll give you two guesses as to what I told her, but you'll only need one.  My glass plug.  She agreed and ordered me to wear the plug.  yay! 

With that she stood up and reached for the lube and grabbed my flaccid cock and ordered it to get hard ... IMMEDIATELY.  I don't need to be told twice and in a matter of seconds it was hard.  She put lube in her hand and started stroking me.  She then looked me in the eye and apologized for not having edged me in quite some time.  Once i got close to orgasm and told her so, she held her hand firm and ordered me to fuck her hand.  She likes to watch he stand there and thrust into her slippery hand.  It was amazing as she continued to hold me at the edge for quite a while before she decided it was time to stop.  I have to admit that it was rather exciting to know that she was doing that to me with her friend in the guest room sleeping.  Once she was done, she told me to put my plug in and gave me an added bonus by standing there to watch while i put one foot up on a stool, bent over and worked the plug into my ass.  She smiled and said, "you enjoy putting things in your ass while I watch, don't you"?  All I could do was whimper a "yes I do Mistress".  My goal is to wear my plug the entire 30 hours or so before i see her again.  We'll see how that goes.

I can't wait till she gets home.

New Toys for Mistress

Hi everyone,

Today I was able to go home for "lunch".  There was no food to eat, but there was something that needed to get accomplished.  Mistress and I had been apart for 5 days and there was some catching up to do.  A couple of weeks ago I sent a very sexy picture of a woman fucking herself on a suction cup dildo that was attached to a pole.  Mistress thought that was hot and mentioned that I might want to look into to getting her one of those.  Today, I got her two of them on my way home for lunch.  I got two because I didn't know which of them she'd like better. 

When i got home, I stripped naked of course.  Then i eagerly showed Mistress the purchase I had made.  In addition to the two suction cup cocks, i also bought some more lube and some Stud 100 desensitizing spray, which I believe is the best thing out there.  Although .... I've never tried the Emla Cream.  Has anyone else tried it?  If so, drop me a note.  I'd like to know more about it. 

She was pretty excited at having those and as she was leading my into the bedroom, her only in panties and me naked, she told me to bring them along in case she wanted to use one of them.  On this day, Mistress started me off like she usually does by having me give her entire body soft kisses.  All over.  When i first giving these kisses, she likes them to be soft and romantic.  there are times that she says she could have me do that to her for hours ........... and I would because I consider it the ultimate treat to be able to put my mouth on her in any fashion.  It's an incredible way to worship and Mistress just loves it.

As is usually the case Mistress started to get horny from the soft kisses.  She told me to spend some time in the "ass area".  I asked her if it would be ok if i removed her panties.  She was laying on her tummy and simply raised her bottom up off the bed and pulled her legs together, indicating that she wanted them removed.  I was able to worship Mistress' ass for about 15 glorious minutes.  She had her back arched and was spreading her les wider and wider as i continue to tongue her tiny rear hole.  It is one of the things i enjoy most and I am grateful that Mistress let me linger there today.

She wanted my mouth on her clit and the only way i was able to do that was to roll onto my back and slide under her between her legs.  She loved and started to grind against my face.  Mistress has said in the past that she doesn't usually like this position but her moaning and writhing told me that today she loved it.  I was thrilled to see how she was enjoying it and i hope that she remembers how much she enjoyed.  Suddenly she had be get the butt plug.  She told me to carefully lube it so it be inserted in HER!  She did not want any of the lube to get on her pussy because my mouth was going back there.  i placed a small amount of lube on the plug and a tiny amount on her rosebud and started to press it against her when she told me to stop.  She instructed me to get on my back again so she could straddle my face.  She wanted me to resume licking her this way while I inserted the plug into her.  Hole fuck that was awesome!

After what seemed like a long time, Mistress stopped and told me to grab one of her new suction cup dildos and follow her into the closet.  She was looking frantically for a smooth service to putt he dildo on.  I loved watching her walk from behind because i could see my pink glass butt plug firmly in her ass.  She stuck the dildo against one of the cabinets and expertly backed herself right onto it.  Then, from her knees with the cock in her pussy and the plug in her ass, she ordered me to kneel in front of her so she could suck my cock, thereby having all 3 holes filled.  I asked her if this was something that she always wanted and she nodded and moaned in the affirmative while she fucked herself against the dildo.  After only a few second she spit my cock out because it tasted bad.  I had some lube on it somehow.  ( I promised, there was no unauthorized stroking)  Mistress then ordered me to lay on my back, feet facing away from her, and had me slide my face under hers and she was kissing me as passionately as she ever has while she was being fucked.  I asked her if this was acting out a fantasy of being fucked by another while I watched and she said yes.  She had me then put my hand on her clit and rub it so she could cum this way.  She was kissing me as I laid there, arm stretched, rubbing her pussy and clit while she was getting fuck by the cupboard.  She had tremendous screaming orgasm (I don't exactly know how many) and then just collapsed on the carpeted floor of the closet.  We both laid there, breathing hard, trying to catch our breath.

After a moment, i asked her if I had just been cucked by the cupboard.  We laughed her ass off and said "I guess so".  We both laughed.  Being cucked by a dildo wearing cabinet is fine with me ..... as long as Mistress never truly desires another man to perform that function.

After another minute, I got to my feet, my rock hard cock (I was not allowed to cum) pointing to the sky and i said to Mistress that i would clean things up while she rested.  What an incredible day.

I didn't mean to cum

Sorry everyone.  I've been negligent in posting and replying this week.  it's just been one of the weeks in the vanilla part of life.  I won't bore you with the details, but suffice it to say it's kept me away from blog land.

On Tuesday morning, right after I wrote my previous post "punished", I got into the shower the minute Mistress returned from taking the kids to school.  Before getting in, she let me stand before her, kiss her neck and rub my nakedness up and down on her.  I got rock hard in 2.3 seconds!  I was kind of in a hurry so I kissed her and rushed into the shower.  While I was in the shower, Mistress suddenly appeared.  Our shower is big, has three shower-heads and is one of those walk-in showers.  It could hold four people at once without a problem.   On those occasion when does appear, she will sometimes just watch me shower, or shave my cock, balls and ass, or sometimes she will stand and watch while I bring myself to the edge repeatedly for her viewing enjoyment.  other times, like today, she has a handful of lube and like to call me over, stand at attention and stroke my cock, teasing me to the edge and then denying me.  This is what she did that morning. 

It was awesome.  She was stroking my cock, edging me, stopping, then edging me again.  While stroking she told me to squat, without letting go of my cock.  She never did that before and while lowering myself, my balls became very exposed.  She was still stroking my cock and with her free hand, she cupped my balls so tenderly.  In a nano-second I was about to cum and told her and she immediately let go .... but it was to late.  I was having a ruined orgasm.  A small amount of semen dribbled and on to the shower floor.

She looked at me with disappointed then angry eyes.  I had just ejaculated without permission.  I had just had an orgasm, albeit it a ruined orgasm, without her permission.  I was mortified.  I didn't know what to do.  She then grabbed my cock again, starting stroking it some more and immediately induced two more ruined orgasms.

She stopped, silently stood and said she was not very happy with me for what I had just done.  I begged with her to understand that the combination of being stroked by her while squatting low to the floor, and then her soft, beautiful surprisingly cupping my balls was just something I couldn't control.  I begged her to understand.  She stood there above, me still squatting, semen pooled on the shower floor below my throbbing cock and balls.  She told me to stand and although she seemed to have tempered her anger/disappointment some, she did inform that was going to punished for what just happened.  She said it didn't matter that she didn't stop quick enough, it was up to me to be sure that I never steal an orgasm, ruined or otherwise from her again, and that allowing myself to ejaculate without her permission would not be tolerated.  She told me to clean the mess on the floor and walked off.

After my shower, I shaved and finished getting ready for work.  I went to her naked, as I do every morning, to inform her that I was ready to get dressed.  She was seated at the computer doing some work and she immediately stood up and led me into the closet.  On the way she informed that she was going to administer my spanking right then.  Holy shit I thought.  Mistress has been especially harsh with spankings lately and I thought I was going to be in for it this coming.  I mean after all, stealing an orgasm and ejaculating without permission is a serious offense in our marriage.  She had me get on my hands and knees and immediately began to punish me with her pink leather paddle.  It hurt on my freshly bathed, naked bottom.  I was absolutely certain this as going to be the time Mistress really laid into me with her paddle.  She gave several swats and then 5 or really hard ones and then abruptly stopped, walked over to me, told me she was done and had me hug her while kneeling naked and red-assed before her, for aftercare.

Maybe she had sympathy for me because I hardly ever ejaculate while being teased and denied or edged.  Maybe she knew is was running late for an appointment (I actually was), or maybe it was something else but Mistress was surprisingly lenient.  She handed me a pair of panties that she had selected and told me to get dressed for work.  She put her paddle away in her drawer and left the closet.  Before I could get dressed, I had to get a hand towel to dry myself off with.  It was warm in there.  As walked out the door, I apologized profusely for my infractions and thank her for being lenient in my punishment.  She just looked at me, then kissed me goodbye.

Something New

Mistress has been dealing with her monthly visitor for that past couple of days.  Although she remains cheerful and as lovely as ever when this occurs monthly, it is not uncommon for her to lack sexual interest in general during this time. Yesterday, I walked up to her, grabbed her, was kissing her neck, grinding my hard cock against her and was being a rather needy, horny slave of a husband at that moment and she would have none of it.  She pushed me away and said "get away from me.  Not now".  Up to 5 minutes ago, that was indicative of her sex mood the past few days.

5 minutes ago she called me into the bathroom and locked the door behind me.  She had lube in hand.  She pulled my shorts to the floor and started rubbing my flaccid but rapidly hardening cock.  She made me watch it all in the mirror and stare at myself being stroked while she gave me my instructions for this Sunday.  Once she told me what I needed to accomplish today, she said that if I failed that she would force me to have several orgasms today, and that they wouldn't be the pleasant kind.  Whispering in my ear while stroking my cock she asked me "do you understand?"  I replied with a panting "yes Mistress". 

She immediately stopped, and said "good, then we are clear".  Go clean yourself up and walked away to the sink to clean the lube off her hands.  I reminded her too that the 48 hours would expire this afternoon and she said we wold be taking care of that punishment this evening, after the expiration of the 48 hours.  I don't know if that means another infraction for me because it will be past the 48 hours, or if she is using her right to change that rule.  I'm certain I will find out.

Ruined again

Mistress finally felt the need to relieve some of the pressure that was building up in my balls.  We, to be more accurate, there wasn't pressure in my balls perse, but with the incredible amount of tease and denial and edging I had been through in the last 10 days or so, a small breeze could've made me cum.

Yesterday morning, while delivering Mistress her morning cup of coffee while she was laying bed, she removed the covers and exposed her nearly naked body and had me give her those all-over body kisses that she likes so.  At first I was fully clothed.  Then she had me stop and remove my shorts.  I asked if she wanted me to remove my t shirt and she said no, but told me to resume my worshipping.  In a few minutes, she had me stop and told me to lay across her lap.  I assume that she was either going to spank me or wanted to play with my bottom.  As I positioned myself, she told me "no, lay on your back across my lap". 

It was an awkward position which had my hips upward and my cock essentially in her face.  Was she going to suck my cock?  My thought was if she intended to edge me that this could be the time that I might very well cum without permission.  Mistress have aw2ay of knowing where the real edge is, even if I don't.  She put lube in her hand and started rubbing my cock.  I was already excited at being able to worship her so I was near the edge almost immediately.  I warned her I was about to cum and she  "shoooshed" and continued to rub my cock.  When it was apparent I was over the edge, but wasn't having an orgasm yet ... she stopped all stimulation and just allowed me to agonizingly empty my balls onto my belly and chest.  She expertly ruined my orgasm.

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I love this woman so much.  I can't wait to continuously be teased & denied, hoping for another ruined orgasm, that won't come.

You decide today

I woke before Mistress, as I usually do everyday.  Normally I can tell when is getting up and then I will rush over to her and ask her if she is ready for her coffee then or not.  On this day, she looked like she didn't feel good but asked for her coffee anyway.  Naked, I scurried off to the kitchen to fix her morning beverage.  She was outside walking the dogs so I left it on the counter, where I normally leave and hurried to get in the shower. 

Sidebar ....... while I was in the shower, I cleaned myself really, really, really, really good.  Lately, ever since Mistress trimmed, almost shaved my body hair, I am loving how it makes me feel (like a slut) and I find myself lingering in the shower.  Not inappropriately mind you, just lingering.

Anyway, after my shower, I went to Mistress, naked of course, to let her know I was about to dressed.  Then was when I discovered that she was dealing with a migraine and didn't want to be bothered.  I told I was sorry for bothering her and kissed her on the forehead (you know, to help with her headache).  She told me that it was up to me to wear whatever I wanted to wear today under my clothes.  I said yes Mistress, and turned to walk in the closet.  It took about 1.2 seconds for me to decide what I was going to wear.  it was ..............  this:

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I just got off the phone with Mistress.  She has recovered nicely from her migraine and asked what I had decided to wear.  When I told her what it was, she perked right up, and then called me a little slut.  I immediately smiled and began to adjust my pants because my cock was swelling rapidly.  She let me go because I was late for a meeting but I am so happy to know that this wasn't one of those headaches that completely immobilize her. 

I also had a dream last night that was troubling, and caused me to wake up in a bit of a panic.  Nothing life or death serious, but serious nonetheless.  It was a short dream. In it, I had just masturbated to orgasm in a room, behind a door when all of a sudden Mistress walked in to discover what I had just done.  She was pissed.  She didn't know I was doing that, she didn't authorized me to touch myself, pleasure myself and certainly did not allow to use an orgasm that she owns, yet there I was, in all my glory, covered in my own cum and immersed in shame.  She was pissed!!!!  Then I woke up.

Did you ever have one of those dreams that was so scary that it affected you for several minutes after you woke up?  Yeah, this was one of those times.

Treat for me

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Last night, i was laying bed waiting for Mistress to join me.  She got into, complaining that she was more tired than she wanted to be at the moment.  She uncharacteristically came over to my side of the bed, peeled back the covers to uncover my naked body, and slide in behind me.  She was wearing only panties.

The fact that i was nearly asleep and because she was complaining about being so tired caused to be believe that this was merely going to be a cuddle till we go to sleep session, and that Mistress was being slightly playfll by entering the bed on my side.

I was wrong.  Earlier in the day Mistress had promised me a treat later in the day for some incredibly small things that i had done to please.  They were so small in fact that I completely forgot about her "promise" and assumed she said it in jest.  With her spooning me, she told me to scoot over and roll over.  I scooted over to give her more room but since i was laying on my side, i asked for clarity as to how she wanted me to be be when she said roll over.  She said i want you on your back, then she said, wait, first i want you to lay on your stomach for a few minutes.  She proceeeded to rub my back and bare bottom softly and seductively.  I can't go five second with Mistress's hand on my naked bottom without getting aroused, especially when she is tender and intentional about why she is rubbing.  i cant even begin to tell how muc i love the glancing finger traces up and down crack, teasing me that they want and intend to probe further, yet don't.  Next pass with hand a little more perhaps and then next a little less.  Always keeping me guessing ... hoping.

After a 5 minutes of that Mistress said "roll over onto your back".  I rolled over onto my back revealing my hard cock.  Mistress was softly rubbing all over my body, everywhere BUT my cock and balls when all of a sudden she takes my cock into her hand and guides it to her mouth.  Every time i am able to look down and she my gorgeous Mistress lovingly taking my cock into my mouth, my heart just fills with honor, and joy and, well ... love.  I was lost in the joy of what i was watching and for some reason, i wasn't feeling like i needed to ward her that I was going to cum in 3.2 seconds.  It was beautiful.  Of course eventually the urge to cum was upon me and of course, like a dutifl submissive husband, i let Mistress know that i wa nearing the edge.  She just melted me in every way when she pulled her mouth off of my cock, still firmly holding it at the base and looked me in the eye and told that I would not be coming this night.  With that she immediately returned to my cock with her mouth.

Over the next 45 minutes or so, Mistress so very expertly brought me to (and here comes the important part) held me at the very edge of orgasm like she has never done before.  I was so lost in the pleasure her mouth, hands and body were giving me physically that i would've agreed to do absolutely anything at that moment.  The building urge to relase and to experience the pleasure of what i knew would be a fully body orgasm, was getting to something i didn't know if I was strong enough to avoid.  I was begging Mistress to allow me to have a release, a ruined orgasm, just something.  She smiled sweetly and politely declined, then immediately went back to concentrating on bringing me to the edge.

I had always wanted to be in an involuntary tease & denial session where i was repeatedly brought to the edge of release, and repeatedly denied the permission to release.  This was by far the most tease and denial session i have ever experienced and was comporable to the kind of T&D session i had in my fantasy.  I can tell you that if Mistress had commanded that i fuck the air and then ordered me to orgasm from it, i could've.

The picture above is what I was certain was my fate last night.  It has been so long wince i had a real orgasm (well over a month) and i was certain that Mistress was bringing me closer and closer to the edge, intending for me and expecting me to fail to withhold my orgasm, at which point I expected she would ruin my orgasm and then inform me that i was now entitle to a significant punishment for failure to control my orgasm urges.  Instead, while Mistress was lying alongside, stroking my cock and simultaneously squeezing my balls, and once again, whil i was right at the very edge of orgasm, she looked at me with her stunningly beautiful face and said "you know what lover?  This is all for tonight and stopped.  She left the bed to tend to something in the kitchen for about 15 minutes during which time i was able to come back down to earth and actually fell asleep.  When Mistress returned, she looked over at me laying there naked, in exactly the same position i was when she left the room.  She crawled into bed to tuck me in, kiss me goodnight, only to then discover that I was asleep.  She was very pleased, very impressed that my cock was still ROCK HARD even while i was dozing and as an added treat, edged me 2 other times before sending off to sleep for the night.

Sadly, i was not able to have a ruined orgasm as depicted in the picture above.  Mistress seems to be incresingly interested in preventing me for having any orgasm more and more as time goes on.  Don't get me wrong, i am not complaining about that, i am merely making an obsevation.  If that is what Mistress wants for me, than that is what i want as well.

Thank you Mistress for the most incredibly evening of treats i cold imagine.  I love you Mistress.

Can I please fuck you?

I came home from the office yesterday to find Mistress all alone in the house.  It was miserable hot yesterday (117) and when I walked in and was bathed in the AC, all I could was let out a "mmm".  When I got to the kitchen, there she was.  The woman of my affection.  The Mistress of my domain, My Keyholder, the owner of cock and the one that controls my orgasms.  I am still thrilled to first put my eyes on her even though we may have only been apart for a few hours.

After the usual the greetings and salutations, I asked where the kids where.  She said that she was just about to leave to go get.  "So we are alone????", I asked.  "yes, we are alone", she said.  Of course, right there in the kitchen I began to remove my clothes when Mistress said she had to leave that minute.  I got pouty and begged for a little something.  Anything.  I asked Mistress if I could fuck her before she left (only half jokingly).  "Uh, no", was her response.  I unzipped my pants to show her, to remind her that I was still wearing the balls harness

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she instructed me to wear (as if the idea of removing it without permission even occurred to me).  She looked at me a little amused, a little annoyed and summoned me over to wear she was standing next to the sink.  "Masturbate to the edge for me before I go" she said.  Quick like a bunny I fully unfastened my trousers and let them fall to the floor.  I was ready.  I like to wait until our eyes are locked together before I begin to masturbate for her.  When she looked in my eyes, I began to stroke.  I know she could sense the utter pleasure I had with complying with her command to masturbate for her. 

On this occasion, as I reached the edge of orgasm, I stopped moving my hand link I always do, only this time there was some pre cum that apparently needed to cum out.  I tried my best to keep it from coming because my first thought was it was going to be an unauthorized ejaculation (God help me).  Failing at keeping it from coming out, I quickly realized it was precum and was not the unauthorized cummies.

For a moment there, there was shock on both of our faces when it was thought that I very well may have just cum without permission for the first time.  Fear of what might happen was the first thing that I thought of.  Confusion and disappointment seemed to be what was on Mistresses' mind, but that is only supposition on my part.  I quickly informed that it was not cum but rather it was precum.  I showed her that the liquid that had gathered in three spot on the floor was water clear and not milky like semen.

She looked at me for just a moment and then seemingly agreed that I had in fact only lost a small amount of precum and I did NOT actually violate one of the most basic rules of our life together.  "clean your mess.  I have to go" ..... and out the door she went.

Familiar things

No matter how nice vacation is, it's always good to get back home too. It's nice to be able to rediscover all the familiar things in your hoe that one tends to take for granted. One of the things I was most looking forward to was being able to shave my cock, balls and ass smoothly, the way I am supposed to always be fore Mistress L. Among the familiar comfort things that were at home were all the things that use for shaving. The biggest thing that wasn't available to me while on vacation was SOFT WATER. Every-time I have tried Mistress's property in the mountains, I would always look like a wounded soldier when it was done because of all the nicks from using hard water. In fact, Mistress thought long and hard about whether to punish me for merely assuming that I somehow had a hall pass from keeping myself smooth for her at all times. She very well may still be considering it. Back at home, in my shower with soft water last night, using my pink razor, I was able to give myself an incredibly close shave (without any nicks) in all areas in and near my cock, ball and ass. I usually feel sexy and slutty right after an especially close shave, and last night was no exception. After I was done in the shower, and was ready to go to bed, I walked naked over to Mistress to say goodnight, strutting my newly recent smoothness and was prepared in case there was to be an impromptu inspection. Frankly, I was hoping that once she got a look at me all freshly showered and shaved, that she would see me for the available slut that I am and take right then. Alas that was not to be the case. The kids were still awake and clinging all over her. So off to bed I went .... alone. This morning, Mistress awoke about an hour after I did and was milling around the house earlier than usual. As required each day, I prepared her coffee and delivered it to her. I thanked her for all of the "attention" that she had paid during our vacation and let her know that it has had a noticeable positive impact on my outlook in life. She was feeling generous and told me to edge myself in the shower this morning. We have a big walk-in shower that has no doors. She walked tot he edge and summoned me over and instructed me to fill her hand with lube from the bottle we keep in the shower. I walked over to her, filled her hand full of lube, placed the bottle down, widened my legs, place my hands behind my hand and presented myself for her. There is just something special about looking right into her eyes when she edges me. In this particular tease and denial, I came as close to having an accidental orgasm as I ever have in the past. Luckily, I was able to hold it off. She edged me three more times (took like 60 seconds I was so horny) and turned and left telling me to get ready to go to work. I was instructed to wear my balls separator harness to the office this morning. Another familiar thing I miss, wearing the neoprene harness that gently but firmly separates my balls from body. I love you Mistress.

Cum Eating

ROBERT_ANTHONY'S CHASTITY & FEMDOM BLOG, is one of my favorite blogs to follow. One of the things that Robert Anthony has in common with several other sub/slave husbands in established FemDomme Marriages is being required to always/occasionally eat or ingest their own cum. The idea of eating my cum makes me have to hold back a gag reflex. But, i must now admit that i find when i am reading a blog entry that is describing the sub husband being required to eat his own cum, gives me a hard-on. I know that it isn't the act of eating cum that has any appeal whatsoever, it doesn't. Rather it is the symbolic submissive gesture of always/sometimes being required to perform an "unpleasant act" as the price for orgasm that is arousing. Recently i commented on a blog entry by Robert Anthony. In it are some of my thoughts on this topic. You can find it here http://chastity-femdom.blogspot.com/2014/07/31-days-and-out.html?showComment=1405526990041#c3934840877095411952 In his story, he talked about having to eat his own cum after a surprise orgasm that he was given, that his Mistress smeared on her ass for no other purpose than for him to clean with his tongue. My cock was hard as a rock reading that story and i soon realised that the cum eating description was part of it. Now, i want to reiterate here that Mistress K. finds that me being required to eat my own cum is gross. The idea of doing it, in and of itself alone is gross to me too. However, the idea that as a submissive, there is a "high price" to pay for right to be able to ejaculate is extremely exciting. Skin-in-the-game so to speak. I know this falls under the category of "be carefull for what you wish for", like mentioning that i think Mistress should spank me harder and longer, even to the pint of bruises and possbily tears if need be, in order to more firmly establish her dominance and to better deter undesireable behavior. i know that if i were ever presented with having to eat my own cum, expecially following a full orgsm, that it would something i'd try and talk her out of, but i would still do it if it were something that Mistress required. i know Mistress K. will read this post and i know that it will be something i will need to talk about with Her in more depth about it. On one hand, it's not anything like eating shit or drinking piss (2 hard limits for me and Mistress K., thank God), it's just kind of yucky. I think Mistress may also associate a male eating cum as being too closely assocaited with male homosexual behavior, which i believe is something that she doesn't find sexually arousing. On the other hand, because we both agree(d) that eating my cum was gross, we both agreed that it woldn't be a part of our play, although it was never discussed as a hard limit like other , more obvious hard limit items like scat, blood, animals, incest, etc ................... At the end of the day, it isn't ever up to me what types of activities or play we engage in, or if we do at all. It is always (and always will be) at the discretion of Mistress K. Since this blog is all about my ability to express myself honestly and communicate with others, i felt it was important enough to note that i was getting erections from reading how other sub husband were required to eat their cum, and i wasn't sure why. Perhaps this will be considered as the "shit is out of the horse" now, or Pandora's box is officially open. We'll see.

Again. yes!

i was putzing around the house when i heard ... "Lover, can I borrow you for a moment please?" and i was summoned to the bathroom.  She said "close the door and lock it".  She was in one of the room in the bathroom and said "face my mirror and masturbate".  A minute later She said described the bottle of perfume She liked to wear the most and had me hold it under my nose while i brought myself to and held myself at the edge of orgasm.  OMG ... i believe She very well may be training me to get an erection merely by the smell of that perfume.  The perfume is Issey Miyake.   i wonder what might happen if we are shopping someday and She wants to go perfume shopping.

i don't know what has gotten into my beloved Wife, but i like it!!!!

Is that her?

I heard Mistress stirring in bed.  i rushed over to her quietly and sure enough, She was awake.  i leaned in an started giving Her the light kisses on Her body She loves so much.  "Are you ready for your coffee now", i asked.  Yes, She said.  i came back in and set it on the night stand as She was starting to doze off again.  Her eyes opened and looked at me. She said, "get some lubrication and masturbate for me".   My heart raced and smiled big and so did my face.  I returned to Her side of the bed, removed my shorts and starting stroking my cock for her very-first-thing-in-the-morning viewing pleasure.  After a few minutes She said "OK, clean up and go".  i turned and left her.  She had a few cocktails last night and woke up with Her beautiful red hair jostled just the right way, makeup still on and absolutely gorgeous.  It was wonderful to stare into her wakening eyes with absolute love and lust for her in my heart, while She enjoyed my mandatory masturbation show.

Impromptu supervised masturbation for my Mistress is hands down one of my most favorite things to do.