Looking Back so I can look forward

Occasionally it's fun and exciting to go back over some of the material that I waded through in the beginning during my "research" in the beginning.  Re-reading some of the things that helped Mistress K. and I. get to where we are.  Deeper in love than either of us thought possible.

Below is a link for one such site.  It's called "Caring Domination" and for me, it was a instrumental to my decision to ask Mistress K. to accept my submission. 

http://cair4.com/

There's a quick tour as well, which I also remember being helpful:

http://cair4.com/toursub1.htm

But, it was the following words that spoke to me in the most meaningful way and was the basis for which I asked my wife to accept my submission and her role and the dominant in our life together.

"The ultimate control over a man is not hypnosis, blackmail, tying him up, or any of the male submissive fantasies. The ultimate control is love."

Fantasies

We all have them.  Some deny having them.  Some relish in them, but we all have them.  During the course of my submission in my FLM, my fantasies have evolved.  The majority of them anyway.  I still have fantasies that involve Mistress taking a female sub of her own, fantasies of watching Mistress make love to another woman and just get lost in reckless sexual abandon.  Fantasies about being among like-minded people in a setting where we could openly be demonstrative in our respective roles.  That sort of thing.

I'll tell you this though, one thing that has happened to me (and I couldn't be happier about it) is that every single fantasy that have, in some significant way, includes Mistress K.  Whether it is her instructing me to perform a sexual act of her choosing, for her viewing pleasure or the pleasure of a guest of hers, being taken anally in the presence and full view of others, or being given a punishment spanking, my fantasies ALWAYS include her.  It was something I recognized a few months ago and when it occurred to me, a giant smile came over my face.  I happened naturally. I didn't coerce myself into it because I felt I had to.  It was something that just happened because, I suppose, of the happiness I fell in my love life with my wife.  What a great place to be!

My favorite current fantasy is really quite simple .... to be summoned into the bedroom by Mistress K.  Then to be allowed the honor of being able to worship her entire body with those soft, tender kisses that she loves so much.  When Mistress is satisfied with the adoration that she has received, Mistress would then inform me that I may do whatever I wish sexually with her, with zero restrictions on what it is I choose and no restriction on my ejaculation or orgasm.  I would choose to lay her on her back, spread her legs, look into her eyes and hold them there while I slid myself inside of her.  I would thrust slowly at first, never once removing my eyes from hers.  Then, gently, firmly and with all the love in my heart I would continue to make love to her without stopping, our eyes never leaving each others, right up to and past the point of orgasm, emptying me seed inside of her.  Boring ... I know ... but OMG so hot!

What fantasies are in your head right now?  I'd like to know.  It could be a fantasy that might likely happen, could maybe happen, will never happen but is still a fantasy, or ???  Please friends, let me know.

Off to the cool rainy mountains again this weekend.  Some but limited access to this blog there but at worst, I'll "see" you all again on Monday.  Have a great weekend everyone.

Stop occasionally and appreciate the things that you have

This morning, I was the first one awake (which is usually the case) in the house.  It was 5am, I had a nice hot cup of coffee and I was cruising the news on the internet.  For some reason, all of a sudden, a feeling of deep appreciation came over me for the things in my life that make me happy.  Here I was, sitting in a beautiful home, with a beautiful family, blissfully living our lives.  The kids are happy and healthy (to the extent teenagers can be), the weather is beautiful because I live in paradise, the cat is even rubbing on my leg showing me devotion and affection. 

Oddly, the cat's devoted demonstration of love got me to thinking.  When I initially started on my journey of interest in and contemplation of a FLM, one of the first tumblr sites I came across was Continuous State of desire.  Here is the link:

http://continuousstateofdesire.tumblr.com/

I knew then that the name itself is what drew me to that site.  What I didn't know then is that a constant state of desire would turn out to be the catalyst for pursuing my own Female Led Marriage.  There was nothing especially different about that the content of that particular Femdom/submale tumblr site. It had all the requisite pictures, some of which where incredibly hot and others that were, well meh.  Yet there was something about the title of the site that caused me to repeatedly return. 

I have said in the past that my primary goal in initially pursuing the lifestyle that we live now, was to be able always demonstrate my desire for the woman that I already knew I loved so much.  I was focused on not allowing the distractions and stresses that naturally come from normal suburban/professional/family/societal life to distract me from being able to naturally always feels in love and in lust with my beautiful wife.

Then one day, during my journey to and research I felt I needed in order to probably propose to my wife that she accept my submission, my then wife (not yet my Mistress) asked an off-handed question about whether we will still want to be with each other after the kids have left the nest.  I knew at that very moment that FLM and my asking her to be my Mistress, accepting my submission and to control all aspects of my sex was the right thing to do in order to avoid even the slightest risk of us growing apart as we raised our family.  So far (knock on wood), the continuous state of desire that I am lucky enough to live in is accomplishing that very thing.  Every aspect our lives together, our family in general, my work, her work is continuously getting better and better with each day.  Never in a million years could I have understood how I could be sitting here in the middle of April, having had only 1 full orgasm in the last (almost) 5 months, feeling so content with my sex life.  So happy and content in my marriage and so much in love and in lust with my beautiful Mistress Wife. 

With all of this in mind, in the supreme quiet of the pre-dawn, I leaned back in my chair, sipped don my delicious coffee and just smiled. 

I love You Mistress!

Strip Club

Last night I had an occasion to be out on the town with 3 buddies.  We're all dads that have kids the same age, which is how we all met.  We were out at a sporting event, drinking, having a good time.  On the Uber car ride back to our where our cars were, one of the guys in the car suggested we stop off for a night cap at the strip club.  It seemed to be a popular idea in the car and in no time, there we were, enjoying the view at the strip club.

Mistress K. does not put any prohibition on me for such things.  That being said, I immediately texted her to let her know I'd be home later than originally planned.  She replied with a simple "be careful.  don't drink and drive".  Isn't she the coolest.

Now, I've been to strip clubs plenty in my life, especially when i was in my 30's and even into my 40's.  on more than one occasion, I was there with my beautiful (then vanilla) Wife.  We always had a great time, especially when we would spend a couple hundred dollars on table dances for her.  Strippers seem to fall in love with my Wife within seconds after saying hello.  I know the feeling.  Anyway, since starting our FLM, I hadn't been to a strip club.  I frankly had no desire to go, unless it was going to be a trip that was with Mistress K..  I had even fantasized about being taken there with my chastity cage on and then enduring table dance after table dance.  Each time, the stripper would've been informed by Mistress K., that I was wearing a chastity cage because she told me to. 

There we were, doing what guys, having a good time.  In looking around, I thought to myself how lucky I was to have the kind of love and desire that I have for my one and only source of sexual desire.  I can honestly say that while sitting, enjoying the view of the highly sexual environment, I didn't get a hard on once.  I liked what I was seeing, but I was looking at it differently than i would've before being fully immersed in my FLM.  I looked around and saw desperate man after desperate man trying to fulfill his sexual urges.  Inside, I was truly content and even in this wanton environment, I consciously and subconsciously only had a sexual desire for Mistress K.  I wasn't looking down my nose at anyone or expecting anything different than what happens every night in a strip club, I was comfortably contented with knowing that my single source of desire was through Mistress K. 

I had posted about this before.  yes, I still look at beautiful women and admire that beauty, but in my role as a submissive, collared husband in a truly loving female led marriage, I have been transformed (willingly and happily) into only wanting (real or fantasy) sexual desire if it includes Mistress K.  I can tell you that this is an extremely wonderful way to feel.

When i got home around 12:30am, Mistress was watching her favorite TV show and when i walked in the door, she simply said "Hi baby.  Did you have a good time?"  Isn't she the coolest?

Yep, it's that time again

Being Thankful ......................

there are so many obvious things in each of our lives to be thankful for.  Our families, our friends and everyone that we love and that loves us.

That being said, I think it is important to say who and what we are thankful for.

• I am thankful for my beautiful family.  I have the most amazing kids, the most amazing wife and live a life that I only dreamed of when I was a young man, and was wondering how my life would be when i was the age that I am. 
• I am thankful for being a completely loved husband in a loving Female dominated marriage with Mistress K., and all of the joy that comes with it.
• I am thankful for having been officially collared by my wife, the beautiful Mistress K. just one short month ago.
• I am thankful that Mistress K. owns my orgasms and owns all my sexual activities.
• I am thankful that Mistress K. is not the kind of Mistress that restricts visual and physical access to her beautiful body.
• I am thankful that Mistress K. loves me enough to correct me with punishments each time she believes it is necessary to do so.
• I am thankful for being kept in constant, voluntary chastity.
• I thankful for the ability to be able to express myself in this blog, and for the it's ability to be able to create new friends along the way.  Even though as a group, we are (kind of) "weird", we are a very loyal, lovable and intelligent group and I adore my time spent with each one of you
• I am thankful that each day Mistress decides what I will wear or in my body that will be a constant reminder of my dedication of servitude to her that day.
• I am thankful that today Mistress K. has instructed me to wear both my glass butt plug and my favorite pair of red, lacy thong panties.

I am so looking forward to the future as Mistress K. and I continue to discover the depths of our love and dedication to each other.  I am excited to continue to learn and to continue to have my/our limits tested and expanded.

Happy Thanksgiving to each of you, my beloved friends, followers and lurkers!

Post Script edit .... I've reached a milestone of sorts.  this is my 200th post.  yay!

The day I was Collared - part 2

..........  Once we arrived back at our beautiful suite, all three of us could feel the excitement building.  I might even be able to call it nervousness.  I know I was getting a bit nervous, but not at all in a bad way.  I had been looking forward to this day ever since we decided we were going to do it 9 months ago.  Our officiant seemed a little nervous as well.  Although she was fully aware of the nature of our ceremony and what it all meant, and although she had been very excited in anticipation as well, this was going to be the first time she had ever presided over a vows renewal ceremony that was meant to memorialize the official union of a Dominant and a submissive. 

We walked around the suite together, giving her a tour and explaining where in the room that we thought would be the place that would serve as the altar.  She agreed and after a few minutes, Mistress K. and I retreated to the separate bedroom to dress for our ceremony.  Mistress had decided that I would wear the cock cage that I was wearing, the pretty lace black panties that I was wearing and a pair of black, silk boxers that she had purchase specifically for the ceremony.  She supervised me getting dressed and then excused me from the room to go and keep our officiant company while she dressed herself in private.  At that point I had no idea what, if anything, she was planning on wearing.  Nor did i know to what extent Mistress was going to reveal to our officiant what I was required to wear under my silk boxers.  Frankly, if i were to be honest, I was hopeful at this point that Mistress was going to have me remove my boxers in order to openly display the pretty panties I was wearing, and then even have me remove those as well in order to be able to display the cage that imprisoned my cock.  I was deep into subspace at this time as was allowing my imagination to run free.  I even went so far in my imagination as to hope that Mistress was going to have me insert my glass butt plug as an integral part of our ceremony.  In my mind, the implied symbolism was obvious so, you know, it made sense to me.  A boy can dream right?  Being revealed in that manner of dress (or undress if you will) has been and will be a fantasy of mine, especially in a manner that calls for my direction demonstration of my commitment, love and dediction to my beloved Mistress.  That being said, I didn't really believe that those things would become a reality because I know that Mistress is a very private, very discrete Mistress, and feels very strongly that our intimate moments are just that  -  private. 

I was standing alongside the officiant wearing only my cage, my black lace panties and my silk boxers, talking about, oh the "weather".  I wanted so bad to tell her what I was wearing underneath but instinctively knew that it would in direct violation of what Mistress K. would've wanted me to do.  Hence the conversation about the "weather".  About 10 minutes, the door to the bedroom opened.  I was standing there fully immersed in my sub space, eagerly awaiting the opportunity for my beautiful wife to stand next to me and accept my vows of loyal, devotion and submission, and filling the doorway was a vision beauty, grace and awesomeness that literally made me gasp in excitement.  She was stunning.

She was wearing sheer, black thigh-high stockings held in place by a beautiful garter belt and clasps.  She was wearing very tall, black high heels that had jewel incrusted straps that went around her ankles.  She was wearing a pair of panties that I had never seen before and that matched her outfit impeccably and were so incredibly sexy.  She wore a beautiful black bra with lace trim that held her beautiful breasts perfectly.   Her red hair was brushed and laid beautifully straight over her shoulders and down her in the fashion she knew I loved the most.  Her make-up stunning and her lips red, she strode toward me and our officiant.  Even our officiant made a reactive comment about how stunning this Goddess was at that moment. 

She came to and we began the ceremony.  The officiant read from her script, which beautifully written and very apropos to our devotion and our lifestyle.  It was beautiful.  The we came to the part where we exchanged our own vows and revealed them to each other for the first time.  A beautiful thing the officiant did in her script was to ask Mistress two questions before i would give her my vows.  First, did she want to allow me, as a submissive, to participate in a ceremony that would culminate in the ownership of me by her.  She said yes.  Then she asked Mistress K. if she would be willing to listen to and consideration vows and declaration of my love and devotion to her, before I was allowed to begin. 

 

Sidebar .... when it came time for Mistress to give me her vows, no such consideration of my acceptance was considered.  I loved that.

 

Once Mistress had agreed to allow me to make my vows, I kneeled before her and handed her one white rose.  Mistress K. had previously requested that I do that because she had read somewhere that it was a universal symbol of the act of giving one's submission.  On my knees and looking up at the most gorgeous woman I have ever seen, I proceeded to her my vows of devotion, love, servitude and ownership.  Tears of joy were welling in Mistress' eyes as i spoke my words, which in turned caused me to choke up a little.  I stayed strong and finished my vows without any emotional interruption.  Then Mistress K. gave me her vows and it was a similarly emotional moment for each of us.  (as I've mentioned before, Mistress K. is a very private person and as such, I will not reveal the words that we exchanged in our most intimate time.  I'm sure you can imagine though).

 

When we were finished with our vows, and the officiant was finished with her Benediction, she said "I now re-declare you as Wife and husband and declare you as Mistress and submissive.   Amen"

 

With that, Mistress K. walk over to me as I knelt before her, wrapped her arms around me and pulled me into her abdomen, which is the symbolic position that we have for punishment aftercare.  We held together for about 60 seconds and as she began to release, I couldn't help but plant soft kisses on her belly between her navel and the top of her low cut panties.  It is my most favorite part of a woman's body, in particular Mistress's body.

 

With that we called for a car to come pick up our dear sweet officiant and while we waited, we all hugged and told each other how beautiful everything was.  our officiant thank Mistress K. profusely for allowing her to preside over our ceremony.  (She knows who's boss, right?)

 

To be continued ....................

I Don't Like That Word

"I don't like that word pegging", Mistress said after talking about her reviewing my blog the other day.  I absolutely love it when Mistress has read my blog. 

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Mistress K. has always said that my blog was a place where i could write absolutely anything" I wanted and that she would never censor or edit what i put here.  Of course I have to promise to remain discrete and never to reveal anything that could jeopardize our privacy, but aside from that, I was free to write anything I want without fear of repercussions from her.

I asked her if there was a name or term she otherwise preferred and she said, "maybe, but i don't know what that is."

Now I have a job to do.  Find a word or phrase that describes strap on anal penetration by a Mistress of her loving submissive husband, that isn't "pegging". 

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I'm not doing this because I have to.  I don't have to.  I'm doing this because I don't want Mistress to always have a negative connotation that goes along with the use of a word that she doesn't like.

Any ideas?

Our Ceremony is in one week

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Hello friends ........... I'm going to be asking for your help today if you don't mind.  Mistress K. and I will be renewing our original wedding vows and we will be doing so in distinct fashion by incorporating and therefore memorializing our FLM. 

What i would like to ask from you for you to let us know of your opinions/suggestion for things that might be used for all things surrounding the ceremony.  We will have a private ceremony and we will be accompanied only by an officiant that has become fully aware of our lifestyle and knows what the ceremony will include.  She is pretty awesome, is not judgemental and is looking forward to helping us consummate our "marriage" by officiating over the proceedings.  She will NOT be involved in any intimate activities whatsoever.  That was never the desire or intention.

We'd like your opinions/suggestions for things like:

• What should Mistress wear during the ceremony?
• What should subhub wear, if anything during the ceremony
• Should subhub be allowed to accompany Mistress K. by being allowed to stand during the ceremony
• What types of symbolic gestures should be included in order to properly demonstrate each others intentions and commitments towards each other.
• Once the ceremony is complete, what ways should we consummate our revised union?
• Are there any other suggestions that might be considered that we have considered.

Each of you has been wonderfully supportive of this blog and i try my best not to expect any of our reader to feel like they have homework to do, but if it occurs to you, perhaps you'd be interested in throwing out some suggestions or opinions.

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Cock Sleeve

This is what it looks like mostly when Mistress K. is being sexually satisfied the way she wants. 

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This is not a picture of us, but it is eerily similar to what it is we do when Mistress allows me to enter her. There is one big difference ... Mistress K. has a much sexier ass.  :-)

It is rare that get to have a full orgasm when we have sex, but when I do, it is often following several orgasms by Mistress K. being serviced this way, When she makes me orgasm like this, she will require that I remove the sleeve, reenter her and have a glorious orgasm looking directly into her eyes.  She knows that is my absolute favorite to have a real orgasm.  I believe she prefers me to orgasm after satisfying her with the cock sleeve because she gets very lovely-dovey afterward and wants me to feel some of that too.  She doesn't allow, she will require that I do.  She requires me to because often I am usually begging her to deny me an orgasm and if an orgasm is inevitable, i ask for a ruined orgasm.  (She's trained me well)

Back from the Deep Woods

On Wednesday afternoon, I left for the mountains of Arizona and my wife and kids have every intention of meeting me there on Friday afternoon for the long Labor Day weekend.  Long story short, Mistress K. was unable to make it there because she had to attend to a family member that suddenly got very, very sick.  The good news is that the family member in question is doing much better and looks like will pull through.  The bad news is that i just spent the entire looong weekend alone, with my kids and Mistress K.  During our time apart we had some interesting conversations and texting (I'll get in to some of those in upcoming posts) as we were both very horny for each other.

I returned home this morning (Tues.) around 10 am.  Right before I arrived home, Mistress had just completed one of her runs and was still trying to cool down. The kids were already at school and once i unloaded the car, I removed all of my clothes in order to comply with our standing rule.  Mistress was on the phone with someone that was really annoying her. I stood dutifully beside her, naked, hands behind my back in order to ask her if she wanted to join me in the shower.  When she was able to break away from the call for a second, she told me yes.  I waited a few second more and she was done with the call.  She looked up at me from her chair and said (almost apologetically) that she wasn't in any kind of sexual mood whatsoever.  Without hesitation i replied, that's ok babe.  She was tired in the mind from tangling with the idiot on the phone and from the stresses of the previous 3-4 days and just wasn't in any mood to even think about sex. 

I tried very hard (and i think succeeded) not to let on that i was disappointed.  I knew i was disappointed and she knew it too.  At the of the day though, it truly DOESN'T MATTER if am disappointed because it is not at all about me.  I know that, and in an odd way I was proud to be able to demonstrate to Mistress that I wasn't going to try and impose on her good nature by pouting or talking her into playing, even though she didn't want to.

She joined me in the shower and shit was good to see her naked body after not seeing it for 6 days.  I want so bad to drop to my knees in the shower and wash every inch of her body, but she was not going to have any of that.  I went about my business and cleaned myself, shaved my cock, balls and ass smooth while she watched, and just went about my business of getting myself clean and smooth.  When I was done, I left the shower to shave my face and finish before getting dressed.  I walked back to the steamy shower, looked in and told mistress I was ready to get dressed.  She was rinsing her hair and simply said, "I don't know what to have you wear today.  let me think about it".  OK was all i could muster and left the bathroom to go sit in the in our bedroom to wait for her.  She emerged from the shower and since time was getting short, I went to her and hugged her from behind, pressing my cock against her beautiful ass and i began to kiss her neck.  She said "I want you to wear regular clothes today" and shooed me off to get dressed.  I just turned and dutifully walked to the closet to get dressed, not wanting her to get the impression I was pouting. 

After I was dressed and was ready to leave, i cam out into the family room to find her on the couch wearing a towel.  Her was still kind of wet and not styled.  She was wearing zero make up and she looked magnificent.  I leaned down to kiss her goodbye, lingering and taking in her freshly cleaned scent as I nuzzled in her neck.  I kissed her once more and stood up to say goodbye and she said "I want you to put your cock in me for just a minute".   I reached down to untie my shoes and she said "leave them on" just lower your pants.  I was hard in a nano-second while she opened the towel to reveal her beautiful naked body and freshly shaved pussy.  I lowered myself onto her as she guided my cock into her pussy.  I felt the urge to cum in just a few seconds and she warned me I had better not.  She made the comment that i need to work on not needing to pull out so quickly to avoid cumming.  I apologized for disappointing her that way.  I don't want for her to ever feel the need to find someone else to replace me when she has the need to feel a cock inside of her. 

After resting inside of her for a few minutes, she told me to remove my cock and to let her juices dry on me.  I asked her if I could put my mouth on her pussy and she said no.  She told me to get dressed.  While i was getting dressed I was thinking I will confer with Mistress on what she thinks is the best path for us when it comes to my feeling the need to cum so quickly.  I suggested that we go to dinner tonight to have our regular discussion about the status of our FLM.  It is my belief that we need to focus on my being trained to be the things that Mistress wants in a husband and lover, and that more frequent and severe punishments might be necessary to accomplish those things.  There is  no reason that any Mistress should ever have to accept anything less than what she wants sexually from her submissive.  Ever!   I know that I will probably regret saying this, but there should be swift and harsh punishment if she is disappointed in me. 

I went to the office and i could feel her juices drying on my cock and I could smell her on my hands.  It smelled like heaven.

Sub Space

There are logical times when a submissive "marinates" in subspace.  Then there are times when it isn't so obvious.  This morning was one such time.

I was standing in the shower, having just completed putting a fresh smoothness on my cock, ball and ass with a razor and shaving cream.  I always feel genuinely more sexual, more horny, even slutty at this very moment.  I found myself growing unusually excited about being able to present myself naked to Mistress K. in order to inform her i was about to get dressed.  I do this everyday, so no big deal right? But today I couldn't wait. 

I didn't exactly know why I was unusually eager this morning .... and then it hit me.  I, having been freshly shaved smooth (including my face) and being naked before her awaiting her attire instructions, I was found myself deep in subspace.  At that moment and since i have felt so incredibly grateful that this beautiful woman would not only accept me as her husband, but also accept my submission and the ownership of my sex.

I love you Mistress K.

I didn't mean to cum

Sorry everyone.  I've been negligent in posting and replying this week.  it's just been one of the weeks in the vanilla part of life.  I won't bore you with the details, but suffice it to say it's kept me away from blog land.

On Tuesday morning, right after I wrote my previous post "punished", I got into the shower the minute Mistress returned from taking the kids to school.  Before getting in, she let me stand before her, kiss her neck and rub my nakedness up and down on her.  I got rock hard in 2.3 seconds!  I was kind of in a hurry so I kissed her and rushed into the shower.  While I was in the shower, Mistress suddenly appeared.  Our shower is big, has three shower-heads and is one of those walk-in showers.  It could hold four people at once without a problem.   On those occasion when does appear, she will sometimes just watch me shower, or shave my cock, balls and ass, or sometimes she will stand and watch while I bring myself to the edge repeatedly for her viewing enjoyment.  other times, like today, she has a handful of lube and like to call me over, stand at attention and stroke my cock, teasing me to the edge and then denying me.  This is what she did that morning. 

It was awesome.  She was stroking my cock, edging me, stopping, then edging me again.  While stroking she told me to squat, without letting go of my cock.  She never did that before and while lowering myself, my balls became very exposed.  She was still stroking my cock and with her free hand, she cupped my balls so tenderly.  In a nano-second I was about to cum and told her and she immediately let go .... but it was to late.  I was having a ruined orgasm.  A small amount of semen dribbled and on to the shower floor.

She looked at me with disappointed then angry eyes.  I had just ejaculated without permission.  I had just had an orgasm, albeit it a ruined orgasm, without her permission.  I was mortified.  I didn't know what to do.  She then grabbed my cock again, starting stroking it some more and immediately induced two more ruined orgasms.

She stopped, silently stood and said she was not very happy with me for what I had just done.  I begged with her to understand that the combination of being stroked by her while squatting low to the floor, and then her soft, beautiful surprisingly cupping my balls was just something I couldn't control.  I begged her to understand.  She stood there above, me still squatting, semen pooled on the shower floor below my throbbing cock and balls.  She told me to stand and although she seemed to have tempered her anger/disappointment some, she did inform that was going to punished for what just happened.  She said it didn't matter that she didn't stop quick enough, it was up to me to be sure that I never steal an orgasm, ruined or otherwise from her again, and that allowing myself to ejaculate without her permission would not be tolerated.  She told me to clean the mess on the floor and walked off.

After my shower, I shaved and finished getting ready for work.  I went to her naked, as I do every morning, to inform her that I was ready to get dressed.  She was seated at the computer doing some work and she immediately stood up and led me into the closet.  On the way she informed that she was going to administer my spanking right then.  Holy shit I thought.  Mistress has been especially harsh with spankings lately and I thought I was going to be in for it this coming.  I mean after all, stealing an orgasm and ejaculating without permission is a serious offense in our marriage.  She had me get on my hands and knees and immediately began to punish me with her pink leather paddle.  It hurt on my freshly bathed, naked bottom.  I was absolutely certain this as going to be the time Mistress really laid into me with her paddle.  She gave several swats and then 5 or really hard ones and then abruptly stopped, walked over to me, told me she was done and had me hug her while kneeling naked and red-assed before her, for aftercare.

Maybe she had sympathy for me because I hardly ever ejaculate while being teased and denied or edged.  Maybe she knew is was running late for an appointment (I actually was), or maybe it was something else but Mistress was surprisingly lenient.  She handed me a pair of panties that she had selected and told me to get dressed for work.  She put her paddle away in her drawer and left the closet.  Before I could get dressed, I had to get a hand towel to dry myself off with.  It was warm in there.  As walked out the door, I apologized profusely for my infractions and thank her for being lenient in my punishment.  She just looked at me, then kissed me goodbye.

Something New

Mistress has been dealing with her monthly visitor for that past couple of days.  Although she remains cheerful and as lovely as ever when this occurs monthly, it is not uncommon for her to lack sexual interest in general during this time. Yesterday, I walked up to her, grabbed her, was kissing her neck, grinding my hard cock against her and was being a rather needy, horny slave of a husband at that moment and she would have none of it.  She pushed me away and said "get away from me.  Not now".  Up to 5 minutes ago, that was indicative of her sex mood the past few days.

5 minutes ago she called me into the bathroom and locked the door behind me.  She had lube in hand.  She pulled my shorts to the floor and started rubbing my flaccid but rapidly hardening cock.  She made me watch it all in the mirror and stare at myself being stroked while she gave me my instructions for this Sunday.  Once she told me what I needed to accomplish today, she said that if I failed that she would force me to have several orgasms today, and that they wouldn't be the pleasant kind.  Whispering in my ear while stroking my cock she asked me "do you understand?"  I replied with a panting "yes Mistress". 

She immediately stopped, and said "good, then we are clear".  Go clean yourself up and walked away to the sink to clean the lube off her hands.  I reminded her too that the 48 hours would expire this afternoon and she said we wold be taking care of that punishment this evening, after the expiration of the 48 hours.  I don't know if that means another infraction for me because it will be past the 48 hours, or if she is using her right to change that rule.  I'm certain I will find out.

Marked - I would do that

Often I will send pictures I find on the web that I think are something Mistress K. will enjoy.  For whatever reason I choose a particular picture has everything to do with how I feel about it when I first see it.  Below was a picture that I came across that had a momentary profound impact on me, so I sent it to her ............

*** picture removed to comply with Blogger's new rules ***

When I saw it, I immediately thought about what an honor it would be to be marked in such a way as to memorialize my gift of submission to Mistress K, my beloved wife.
here is how the texting commentary went:

Me:  I would do this for you   (insert above picture here)

Mistress K:  What about your annual physical?

Me:  Even still

Mistress K:    KISS

Me:  I'd wear that just like I'd wear your ring, your plug or your panties

Mistress K:   Maybe we should discuss further.

Me:   Yes Mistress  I look forward to that.

In a perfect world, I would wear those very words and substitute Mistress Cherry for Mistress K.  The reality is that I could never have that same exact tattoo on my genitals because of the fact that I have annual physicals.  What I absolutely could and would do is to be permanently marked in some way that would memorialize the nature of our relationship.  Perhaps even in relation to our upcoming Vows Renewal Ceremony that we are planning in October (read about it here ...

http://subhubphx.blogspot.com/2014/02/we-found-our-officiant.html     Sorry, I don't know how to do the "link" thingy.

Which reminds me, since I first started posted about our upcoming vow renewal ceremony, Mistress K and I have made many new friends here, and it occurred to me that hadn't asked for suggestions or comments on some of the thins we should have in the vows and in our very private, very intimate ceremony. 

So, new friends, what do ya think?

30 days of submission posts

Hi everyone.  One of things I have noticed since becoming a "blogger" is the trends that often get started and some of those that actually get traction and spread.  Liebster award (who is Liebster anyway?) is one that suckered me in recently.  It reminds of those posts you get on Facebook that say something like if you Love your child, your if you love Jesus, you'll repost whatever is being promoted on your timeline, as if somehow the only true way to determine whether one love Jesus, or your own children is to do what this friend (and I use that term loosely) on Facebook tells you.  For me, it's kind of the modern day version of the chain letter I suppose. 

A recent version of this was the Spanking A-Z thing where the blogger was expected to attach a word to each letter of the alphabet and then expound on what that word meant to them.  The current one of these is the 30 Day Submission Challenge.  I don't know where it originated or who decided what questions would be asked but I will admit that there are some intriguing questions in there, some of which I intended to answer.  In looking over the list of questions, many of them don't appeal to me because for me, they are overly general in nature and many of the questions don't necessarily apply to me or overly generalize position of a particular type of submissive.  For any of my friends that may be participating in this challenge, please don't take offense because certainly none is intended.  I can see how it would be fun for others, it's just not my cup of tea.  In fact, for a few of you, I genuinely look forward to each day's question and answer posting.

Some of the questions seems to assume that submissive are the same.  i.e. that all submissive act in a submissive fashion in all aspects of their lives.  I am a submissive husband n a loving Female Led Marriage ..... there is no question about that and I absolutely love it.  Does that mean I am submissive to anyone else other than my Mistress wife?  Hell no.  As a matter of fact, in all other aspects of my life, I am quite the dominant one.  The only exception to this would be if Mistress K. were to instruct me to behave in a submissive manner to another person.  That has not happened.  I will tend to seize control of and tend to dominate any scenario that I find myself that doesn't include interaction with my Mistress Wife.  Please don't confuse that comment with me saying that I am sort of asshole, because I'm not.  Quite the contrary ..... my natural instincts to control circumstances around appeal to my natural desire to help people.  That being said, I never to be allowed to "take the lead" in a private situation when I am alone with my Mistress.   I find an enormous amount of comfort in immediately transitioning into submissive husband mode the very second Mistress and I are alone. 

Please don't be unhappy with me if I tend to cherry pick the questions I prefer to have asked of me.  *smile

Here is "cherry-picked" question (chosen in no particular order) from the list that is going around:

Day 13: Is sexual availability, being available to your partner any time he or she wants, part of your submission? Why or why not? Are there limits to this?

Most certainly.  As a matter of fact, it is one of the cornerstones of our relationship in that I  genuinely get sexual pleasure from providing Mistress K. with sexual pleasure.  According the established rules that Mistress and I agree, I am to perform in any sexual manner that I am directed to my Mistress, at any time, without questioning her and without any expectations for how it will end up for me. 

Yes, of course there are limits.  What exactly each and every one of those limits are have not yet been realized or tested.  We have the usual set of limits that most other reasonable people have ....... no kids, animals, blood, scat, urine, severe pain for the sake of pain, anything illegal, anything that would cause or allow others in our community to know about the most intimate aspects of our lifestyle.  If either one of us were to approach a limit that hadn't been discussed between us, the other would have no problem stopping the action.  That has not happened yet.  I imagine that is the case because even though we are growing into this lifestyle more and more as time goes on, neither of us seems to have a need to "ramp things up" in order to maintain enthusiasm. 

Riding Crop

Years ago, before we entered into our current, acknowledged Female Led Marriage, we bought a riding crop.

*** picture removed to comply with Blogger's new rules ***

 

We would use it when we role played/s scenes during our "vanilla" days. It has some sentimental value to me because I remember it being one of the first D/s - BDSM style accessories and I can remember the complete and utter thrill that went through my body standing in line at the adult super-shop, waiting to pay for this. After, that person at the register was going to know that I was going to somehow engage in kink after my purchase. How naughty. How scandalous. Fast forward to yesterday when, after cleaning some things in the closet, Mistress K. came across our old buddy he riding crop. She laid it on top of my shorts so I would be sure to notice it when I changed clothes after work. And yes, I did notice, even slapping my hand hard several times, and then trying it on my ass, trying to anticipate what this thing would feel like during a (now) real punishment spanking. Fast forward again to this morning, after Mistress summoned me to the bathroom to be groomed, but before the actual grooming. She entered the bathroom with crop in one hand, a devilish smile on her face and lube in her other hand. She started jerking my cock, teasing it, trying to get it harder than it already was (not possible). She starting teasing me with the crop, She started slapping various parts of my body. My ass of course. I think she too wanted to know what it was going to be like to use the crop for a future "real" punishment. She slapped my erect cock quite often with soft swats from above, and she swatted by ball several times with softs swats from below. She used the crop to indicate that I was to spread me legs. Then spread them wider and wider till they were nearly as wide as the would go and still allow me to be able to stand. Then she used the crop to guide my hands to be placed behind my head. I was in the most vulnerable position and she was just beginning to explore various parts of my body with her newly re-discovered toy. She was having a ball alternating firm but gentle swats with crop with deliberate, slow stroking of my lube covered cock. I'll tell you. I believe that she is slowly trying to associate the urge to orgasm with the pain of a spanking. I told her once of a story I read where the Mistress was trying to achieve the ability to train her slave to be able to orgasm merely from receiving a spanking. Mistress K. didn't say that is or would be her intention, but I do remember she seemed to have great interest in hearing that story. As I mentioned in a recent post (the one previous), I thoroughly enjoy being objectified by Mistress. Standing there, arms behind my head, naked, legs spread wide, vulnerable and knowing that I am about to be positioned in such a way to be groomed, was wonderful. I could not keep my eyes off my Mistress while she was walking around my body having her fun with her crop.

Something new to wear today

As most of you know, each morning, when I am completely naked and prepared to dress for the day, I will let Mistress K. know that I am ready to get dressed. Notice that I am not asking what, if anything, I am to wear that day under my clothes. I have made a very concerted effort to not "ask" for things, even if disguised as being a helpful question for my beloved Mistress. Instead of asking, each day I merely inform Mistress than I am ready to dress for the day, and without asking, I am offering Mistress the opportunity to decide what, if anything she would like for me to wear that day. Yesterday is was my favorite pair of panties (favorite because they truly do make me feel like a sexy, pretty slut when I wear them. probably mostly because they fit me) Some days last week it my balls separator while other days it was my cock ring. The week before that, it was my new (favorite) glass butt plug. As an aside, I wore the very same sexy panties on the day I wore my glass plug and feeling like a pretty, sexy slut in just my panties was magnified 100 times by the plug that was so firmly held in my willing ass under those pretty panties. Anyway, back to today .......... Finally, after threatening to do so for 2 weeks, Mistress "de-bear-ed" me. In other words, she trimmed (almost shaved) the body hair that was left un-groomed for almost 2 months. I don't know about you, but I feel my horniest/sexiest/sluttiest right after a fresh shave/trim. I love when she grooms me this way because it is a time where I am required to stand before her, completely naked and exposed, while she prepares my body the way she likes. I adore the objectification that goes along with it. Today, while grooming me, she was in regular old t shirt and panties that she slept in. She was also wearing a regular, normal robe that she left untied. Her beautiful red hair was disheveled and in a knotty pony tail. In other words, she didn't spend one second preening in front of the mirror before attending to the task of grooming me. Even so (maybe even especially so) when I looked down at her kneeling on the floor in order to be able to groom me, looking the way she did in her utter natural state, I was taken back by her beauty at that moment. Sure she is a beautiful woman when she prepares her makeup and clothes to make herself feel presentable to the outside world, but to me, in the just-woke-up condition, she is at her most stunning, her most beautiful. Needless to say, that when looking down at her like I was, my super hard, super erect cock kept blocking my view. So, on this particular morning, after having the bulk of my yucky body hair removed, and then after a fresh, smooth shave to my cock, balls, anus area and ass cheeks, I was feeling incredibly horny/pretty/slutty. Mistress could've done anything she wanted to/with me at that moment and I would've gladly gone along. When the time came for me to tell I was ready to get dressed, she had me follow her into the closet saying something like, "let's see, what should we have you wear today?" She had me sit on the stool then she straddled me, pulled her panties to the side and slowly lowered herself onto my rock hard cock. She leaned and in said today, "you will wear me". Those words got me as close to an unauthorized orgasm as I have ever been. With that, she stood up, pulled her panties back over her beautiful pussy and turned to walk out of the closet. She stopped to say "you will wear me on you today", and out she went. OMG! I touched my cock and balls, gathered her smell on my hand and put it to my nose. Honest to goodness, the smell of her sex was almost enough to allow me to orgasm right then and there. This woman owns me, in every sense of the word.

Tap on the shoulder

Our family vacation has been awesome. Relaxing in the mountains of Arizona. Perfect weather, the kids are having a blast and my Mistress had been happy, beautiful and awesome. Last night, it was late, almost 11pm. She was in the bathroom getting ready for bed and thekids were playing on their xBox. I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned to find Mistress standing there in her regular nightgown (which i think she is incredibly gorgeous in) giving me the "come here" finger and disappeared into the bedroom Before our FLM began, i would've asked he what she wanted. Now, of course i know better than to ask her "why" about anything. i assumed that i was about to be given a spanking ... but for what i wondered. All my previous infractions had been settled and mistress and i had just returned from a lovely dinner with friends where we had a ball. When we got home from dinner, she even kissed me softly and said "thank you or a lovely evening". Why was i about to be punished, i wondered. I got up from the chair and quickly cleaned up around me. i went into the bedroom and Mistress was lying on her back with her nightie pulled up past her waist, legs spread wide, revealing the sexiest, prettiest pussy on any woman ever. I stood there and stared for a minute. Then she said "come here". I was wearing a light jacket and quickly took it off before trying to climb on the bed. "Take your pants off" she said. I took off my pants and underwear and climbed on the bed and crawled between her legs. Often i am overwhelmed with lust, appreciation and utter joy in that moment before i am about to be allowed to pleasure her pussy with my mouth. This was one of those times. I licked her pussy lovingly, tenderly and with purpose for several minutes, then she said "enter me with your fingers while you do that" i slide one finger then another into her then continued to savor and pleasure her pussy. She was nearing orgasm and she told me to put my cock inside her so she could orgasm with me inside her. It didn't take long for the urgent need to orgasm was upon me. She told me to stop and "get pinky" (the pet name we have for our cock sleeve). Quickly i got pinky, some lube and a towel and returned to find her feverishly rubbing her clit, keeping herself at the edge of orgasm. I lubed my cock and put pinky in place and it was then that noticed the towel. "You won't be needing that tonight lover", she said, which of course meant that i was not going to be ejaculating this night. Undaunted, i got in between her legs and slowly pushed my now sleeve covered cock inside of her while she continued to rub her clitoris. She told me to not fuck her slowly, instead she wanted me to fuck her fast. Even though i was wearing the cock sleeve (that feels like i am wearing 100 condoms), i very easily could've orgasmed right there at the sight that was before me. I've said it before ... i'm certain i could orgasm merely by watching my beloved Mistress wife have an orgasm. For some reason however, i was able to fight off any urge to come and was able to give her the long, hard, fast fucking she wanted without having to stop in order to either ask permission to cum, or prevent myself from cumming. She had a glorious orgasm and of course i did not. This morning, when i was dutifully delivering her morning coffee, i enthusiastically thanked her for summoning me for her sexual use. She didn't wonder or care what i was doing or if i was willing. She didn't have to. Even now, as i write this, i am basking in the afterglow of my love and devotion for her. I am hoping that Mistress will be wanting similiar treatment tonight, our last night of vacation. I can only hope. As an aside ... yesterday during the day, Mistress sent me a naked selfie of her before she got into the shower. I thought it was stunning and of course told her so. Since the picture did not reveal her face, i (only a little) jokingly asked her if i cold post it here, on my blog. I told if I was allowed to tha i would be bragging. *smile She said she would think about it and as of now, is thinking about it. We'll see what she decides.

Ruined

On Thursday night, Mistress and i were getting ready to go out to dinner with some friends while we are on vacation in the mountains. I walked in to the bathroom to get in to the shower when i saw Mistress standing there in one of the poses that i love to see her in most ... naked with her arms above her head, drying her beautful red hair. To me it is the sexiest pose my Mistress can take. Maybe it's because when we would switch roles when we role-played D/s before our FLM, and when i was in the dominant role, my favorite bondage position was her standing, arms tied above her head. Anyway, she looked sooooo sexy standing there, looking at herself in front of the mirror, arms above her head working the hair dryer, wearing only her sexy, lace, thong panties, trying to get ready on time. I walked up behind her, removed all of my clothes, wrapped my arms around her and pulled her into my no w naked body, my hard cock pressing against her nearly naked bottom. I slowly (subconsciously) started to hump her and slide my cock up and down the crack of her bottom when she shut off the blow dryer, pulled away from me andturned to face me. I didn't know if she was frustrated, angry, being playfull or ..... ? Sidebar - I am always thankful that Mistress K. does not require me to ask permission to touch her. I know that there are a lot of submissive husbands that must ask permission to touch and some that must ask permission to even look. My Mistress enjoys it when feel the urge to hold, hug, rub, kiss, hump or just genereally touch her, naked or ootherwise. When she turned to face she had a smile on her beautiful face and she a comment about what a horny little dog i was. She told me to sit down naked, on the edge of the cold bathtub, and spread my legs. Mistress got her hands all soapy then started stroking my cock and rubbing my balls. What a treat it was to be told to sit, spread my legs just so Mistress could tease and edge me. At least i thought she was going to edge me. She did bring me to the edge on a few occasions (which only toook seconds because i was already so horny for her). After a few edgings, Mistress started again and when i was telling her is was at the edge again, she looke dme straight in the eye and forbid me from coming, yet she still kept stroking my cock and rubbing my balls. i was pleading with her to stop so i wouldn't have an accident, but she wasn't about to. Finally, she knew that had reached the point that was just barey beyond return and stopped stroking and stood up to watch my cock begin to slowly pump out its cummies. i was the epitome of the classic ruined orgasm (in my opinion). It was so frustratingly near a full on orgasm and although a bit of cummies did get pumped out, it was all of it. Mistress, stood, returned to the sink, was washing her hands and looking at me in the mirror wanting so badly for to "finish" me when she said .... "clean up your little mess and go get ready" Having my Mistress kneeling naked between my legs, hair and makeup perfect smelling more beaautiful than any woman ever, stroking my cock for what turned out to be a ruined orgasm will be a vision that will be etched in my mind's eye forever. Love her!

There (pointing to the floor)

I just returned from dropping off the kids at the daily activity while we are on vacation. It means that we have the house to ourselves for about an hour. Eagerly i pulled up in front of the small cabin we are renting in the mountains, threw it in park and rushed inside. Once the door closed behinf me, i kicked off my shoes and slid my gym shorts to the floor whille pulling my tshirt up over my head. I knew to become naked the second i was in the house. I found Mistress in the bathrooom, freshly showered and applying her makeup for the day so she was slightly leaning over the coubter. She was naked except for a pair of super sexy lace, thong panties. i wen't up bhind here, pressed my now hardening cock against her ass and tried to be playful with her. She said, we don't have much time before we have to go so ......... i interupted and said "well then can I cum inside you then?" "No you may not, but thank you for asking", was her reply. Will you edge me? will you ruin me? Can I masturbate to the edge??? Please , anything ............ "No, we barely have enough time for you to receive your spankings that are coming to you. My eyes widened. i wasn't expecting that at all. "THERE" She pointed to the floor at the foot of her sink in the bathroom. "Get on all fours there". As i got down on all fours, she went to the sink, ran some water and rubbed all over my ass. She obviously felt like we truly didn't have enough time and wanted the full benefit of a spanking to be realized sooner rather than later. She started spanking my wetted ass with her wet hand. In just a few minutes she told me to stand and get dresses. "Before you go, you may look at your ass in the mirror" Even though the spanking wasn't painful hardly, my ass was as red as it ever was after a spanking. After looking at my red ass in the mirror and the image of Her in her panties right next to me in the mirror, i couldn't help but ask if i could cum right then. Go get dressed was all she said.