Why can't everything be like it was? Now all my friends are scattered all over hell and creation, my auto-notice features are all jacked up and ........... wah!
There, I feel better.
Saturday, February 28, 2015
What is it about spankings?
There have been plenty of discussions on blog sites lately about the real value (or perhaps the lack thereof) of spankings, in particular as used as form of punishment, training or discipline. there have been plenty of lucid, logical and reasonable points and comments made on both ends of the spectrum. To some, they are valueless and merely are used in order to satisfy one's kink, either for the spanker or the spankee. Ok, I get that, and at the end of the, all of the opinions expressed are real and valid as they relate to each couples individual circumstances within the confines of their relationship. On the other hand, none of the comments or opinions are valid if those opinions are intended to dispute an opposing opinion. They are just that .... opinions. I'll try to describe mine.
Yesterday morning, Mistress K. informed me that at the end of the day, I was going to be spanked, as a punishment, for the recent transgression of failing to get her coffee for her on Sunday morning past. As it turned out, life circumstances took over which caused all of the energy necessary to properly execute my spanking, to be drained by the end of the day. I respectfully asked Mistress if we could postpone my spanking punishment for another time because I was dead ass tired and I could also tell that so was Mistress. She agreed, but with a caveat ........... that it will be more severe than what it would've been had it been performed last evening. "Yes Mistress, I understand" was my reply.
When we crawled into bed, I apologized to her for the transgression that earned me the upcoming punishment, much the same way I would've following the spanking had it actually been performed. I truly do feel regret when something Mistress expects from me doesn't happen. We talked a little about it and I actually said that I didn't like to be spanked. I mean, I didn't like the actual act of her pink leather paddle coming down hard on my bare ass. That part hurts. I also said that the comfort of knowing that I am to face something that I don't necessarily enjoy (the actual burning sting of that paddle), was something that am so very thankful of and that the joy and comfort I get from knowing that I will face a spanking punishment, completely eclipses any negative feeling I may have about the actual contact of the paddle on my bottom.
I've been thinking about it ever since and have come to the following conclusion. First an foremost, the very fact that my beloved wife will accept the role of my key holder, my disciplinarian, the leader of our marriage, the owner of my sex and the sole source of not my sexual pleasure, but life pleasure as well .... is very emotionally comforting and something that is very important to me. I also very much love basking in the ritual of being punished by her paddle. Being required to voluntarily present my naked body to her, in order for her ritualistically spank my naked ass while I hold still in a required position (whatever that may be), is so very important to me, as well as to Mistress K. The first time I was spanked had a element of humiliation. After that, the humiliation evolved into a source of pride and became an important, symbolic gesture of my devotion to Mistress K., every time I was spanked. Also, and just as important, the emotional cleansing that comes from being spanked as a punishment, and the subsequent emotional that come from the after care, is, well, beautiful. Mistress K. and I agree that the best thing that comes from using a harsh spanking as punishment is that it speeds the process of "wiping the slate clean" and allows us to go forward without the risk of one or both of us carrying any negative feelings forward.
Being spanked hurts, and when it is happening, I truly want it to end. But then, usually when the spanking is over, I secretly wish that it had been longer and more severe than it was ... that I had been required to put "more skin in the game" so to speak. I think this happens because as soon as it is over, the pleasure of demonstrating to Mistress that I am willing to participate in something that I don't logically want to do (spanking), is over. It's crazy, I know. It probably explains why when I read stories about submissive husband being required to consume their own cum, I always have two thoughts in my head. One is .... Gross! the other is Why do I have an erection?
At the end of the day, I am so very grateful to be subject to punishment spankings from my Mistress. I love you Mistress.
Yesterday morning, Mistress K. informed me that at the end of the day, I was going to be spanked, as a punishment, for the recent transgression of failing to get her coffee for her on Sunday morning past. As it turned out, life circumstances took over which caused all of the energy necessary to properly execute my spanking, to be drained by the end of the day. I respectfully asked Mistress if we could postpone my spanking punishment for another time because I was dead ass tired and I could also tell that so was Mistress. She agreed, but with a caveat ........... that it will be more severe than what it would've been had it been performed last evening. "Yes Mistress, I understand" was my reply.
When we crawled into bed, I apologized to her for the transgression that earned me the upcoming punishment, much the same way I would've following the spanking had it actually been performed. I truly do feel regret when something Mistress expects from me doesn't happen. We talked a little about it and I actually said that I didn't like to be spanked. I mean, I didn't like the actual act of her pink leather paddle coming down hard on my bare ass. That part hurts. I also said that the comfort of knowing that I am to face something that I don't necessarily enjoy (the actual burning sting of that paddle), was something that am so very thankful of and that the joy and comfort I get from knowing that I will face a spanking punishment, completely eclipses any negative feeling I may have about the actual contact of the paddle on my bottom.
I've been thinking about it ever since and have come to the following conclusion. First an foremost, the very fact that my beloved wife will accept the role of my key holder, my disciplinarian, the leader of our marriage, the owner of my sex and the sole source of not my sexual pleasure, but life pleasure as well .... is very emotionally comforting and something that is very important to me. I also very much love basking in the ritual of being punished by her paddle. Being required to voluntarily present my naked body to her, in order for her ritualistically spank my naked ass while I hold still in a required position (whatever that may be), is so very important to me, as well as to Mistress K. The first time I was spanked had a element of humiliation. After that, the humiliation evolved into a source of pride and became an important, symbolic gesture of my devotion to Mistress K., every time I was spanked. Also, and just as important, the emotional cleansing that comes from being spanked as a punishment, and the subsequent emotional that come from the after care, is, well, beautiful. Mistress K. and I agree that the best thing that comes from using a harsh spanking as punishment is that it speeds the process of "wiping the slate clean" and allows us to go forward without the risk of one or both of us carrying any negative feelings forward.
Being spanked hurts, and when it is happening, I truly want it to end. But then, usually when the spanking is over, I secretly wish that it had been longer and more severe than it was ... that I had been required to put "more skin in the game" so to speak. I think this happens because as soon as it is over, the pleasure of demonstrating to Mistress that I am willing to participate in something that I don't logically want to do (spanking), is over. It's crazy, I know. It probably explains why when I read stories about submissive husband being required to consume their own cum, I always have two thoughts in my head. One is .... Gross! the other is Why do I have an erection?
At the end of the day, I am so very grateful to be subject to punishment spankings from my Mistress. I love you Mistress.
Friday, February 27, 2015
I wonder who's wearing .........
When you're in a crowded or semi-crowded place, do you ever look around and wonder who might be wearing a butt plug, or how many of the men might be wearing panties. Of those, do you ever wonder how if they are wearing those things because they chose to, or because they were told to by someone that is their dominant? I have ...... frequently. Mistress and I even like to look around and play ... what about that guy, or what about her?
That being said, besides me, who else out there is wearing a cock ring and no panties (or underwear of any kind) under their jeans at work today? If not that very ring, what are you wearing that the rest of us would love to know about, and why?
That being said, besides me, who else out there is wearing a cock ring and no panties (or underwear of any kind) under their jeans at work today? If not that very ring, what are you wearing that the rest of us would love to know about, and why?
Thursday, February 26, 2015
Wake up
I was in bed, sleeping like a baby. Mistress was in our workout room when I went to bed. She was working up quite a sweat this night. She has been working out for a few weeks and she is looking yummy.
I awoke to hear the shower running, then fell back asleep. Woke again and the shower was still running .... hmm, seems like she's been in there for a long time ... back to sleep. Then I woke to the sight of my beloved Mistress, standing next to the bed, naked in the backlight of the TV. Stunning.
She climbed into bed and aggressively moved to the head of the bed, straddled my head and with her hands she merely pushed me down between her legs. She was in need of service and I was more than happy to oblige. For me, there is nothing better than to be roused from sleep for the purpose of giving my Mistress oral pleasure. She made it clear what her intentions where and had zero interest in whether or not I was awake enough or ready. It was magnificent.
As she neared orgasm, she informed me that she didn't want to cum until I was inside and ordered me to go get "pinky". Pinky is a penis extension sleeve that she loves to have me wear sometimes when I am lucky enough to be able to fuck her. I donned pinky and began to give my horny Mistress the fucking she so desperately wanted. With the sleeve on, there is little or no direct stimulation to my penis so there is usually little chance that will prematurely reach the edge of orgasm. That being said, it has happened in the past. I mean sometimes, the mere sight of Mistress being fucked like a wanton whore is enough to cause me to want to orgasm. Not on this night though. Mistress got the fucking she wanted and deserved and it all ended in a glorious orgasm that left her panting heavily, completely satisfied. At that, I was denied the ability to orgasm.
After Mistress recovered, she ordered me off the bed and I was to lay on my back on the floor. This was something new. Was Mistress going to require me to sleep on the floor next to her bed? After a minute or so, she climbed off the bed and got on the floor with me. It seems Mistress recalls me mentioning the day before that my balls had the delicious dull ache that accompanies being overly horny for a period of time. I posted about it in a previous post .... I'll you'll be milked tonight.
Anyway, Mistress filled her hand with lube and started stroking my cock. She smeared lube over my bottom hole and slowly pushed a finger inside me and started to massage my prostate and then began to stroke my penis. It didn't take long before I had to inform Mistress that I was at the edge. She told me to let it go. I confirmed with her that she intended for me to orgasm and she said "well, sort of". Mistress is very in tuned with her submissive husbands body and knows exactly at which point to stop all stimulation in order to induce a ruined orgasm, which is exactly what Mistress had in mind for me. She did stop stimulation to my cock but continued to massage my prostate as cum began to just pour out of my poor, needy cock. Copious amounts of cum began to pool on my tummy antul no more was going to come out. When she was, she smiled at me and said "there lover, that should help ease the pressure in your balls", and got up to go to the bathroom. "Wait here" she said. She was in there for about 2 minutes as I laid still on the floor, with a giant pool of cum on my tummy. She returned with a towel, threw it to me and told me to clean up. I gather the cum in the towel, grabbed pinky, which was laying on the floor next to me, and went into the bathroom to clean everything.
When I returned to bed, the sight of my beautiful wife, comfortable laying there under the covers, sexually satisfied with a smile on her face, made my heart soar. I thought to myself how very grateful I am to have such a beautiful Mistress that cares for me so much.
I awoke to hear the shower running, then fell back asleep. Woke again and the shower was still running .... hmm, seems like she's been in there for a long time ... back to sleep. Then I woke to the sight of my beloved Mistress, standing next to the bed, naked in the backlight of the TV. Stunning.
She climbed into bed and aggressively moved to the head of the bed, straddled my head and with her hands she merely pushed me down between her legs. She was in need of service and I was more than happy to oblige. For me, there is nothing better than to be roused from sleep for the purpose of giving my Mistress oral pleasure. She made it clear what her intentions where and had zero interest in whether or not I was awake enough or ready. It was magnificent.
As she neared orgasm, she informed me that she didn't want to cum until I was inside and ordered me to go get "pinky". Pinky is a penis extension sleeve that she loves to have me wear sometimes when I am lucky enough to be able to fuck her. I donned pinky and began to give my horny Mistress the fucking she so desperately wanted. With the sleeve on, there is little or no direct stimulation to my penis so there is usually little chance that will prematurely reach the edge of orgasm. That being said, it has happened in the past. I mean sometimes, the mere sight of Mistress being fucked like a wanton whore is enough to cause me to want to orgasm. Not on this night though. Mistress got the fucking she wanted and deserved and it all ended in a glorious orgasm that left her panting heavily, completely satisfied. At that, I was denied the ability to orgasm.
After Mistress recovered, she ordered me off the bed and I was to lay on my back on the floor. This was something new. Was Mistress going to require me to sleep on the floor next to her bed? After a minute or so, she climbed off the bed and got on the floor with me. It seems Mistress recalls me mentioning the day before that my balls had the delicious dull ache that accompanies being overly horny for a period of time. I posted about it in a previous post .... I'll you'll be milked tonight.
Anyway, Mistress filled her hand with lube and started stroking my cock. She smeared lube over my bottom hole and slowly pushed a finger inside me and started to massage my prostate and then began to stroke my penis. It didn't take long before I had to inform Mistress that I was at the edge. She told me to let it go. I confirmed with her that she intended for me to orgasm and she said "well, sort of". Mistress is very in tuned with her submissive husbands body and knows exactly at which point to stop all stimulation in order to induce a ruined orgasm, which is exactly what Mistress had in mind for me. She did stop stimulation to my cock but continued to massage my prostate as cum began to just pour out of my poor, needy cock. Copious amounts of cum began to pool on my tummy antul no more was going to come out. When she was, she smiled at me and said "there lover, that should help ease the pressure in your balls", and got up to go to the bathroom. "Wait here" she said. She was in there for about 2 minutes as I laid still on the floor, with a giant pool of cum on my tummy. She returned with a towel, threw it to me and told me to clean up. I gather the cum in the towel, grabbed pinky, which was laying on the floor next to me, and went into the bathroom to clean everything.
When I returned to bed, the sight of my beautiful wife, comfortable laying there under the covers, sexually satisfied with a smile on her face, made my heart soar. I thought to myself how very grateful I am to have such a beautiful Mistress that cares for me so much.
Tuesday, February 24, 2015
Scrubbed Clean Google Overlords
My blog has been sanitized in accordance with the pending rule's change from the Blogosphere Overlords. No more naughty pictures. I am no longer a menace to decent people everywhere.
Blogger's New Rules
It has been said by some that the pictures that I and others post on our respective blogs do nothing but add an unnecessary, distasteful pornographic element to what otherwise might be meaningful content. I don't necessarily disagree and it appears that Blogger totally agrees. As such, I shall begin to sanitize this blog to remove any picture that doesn't meet the guidelines of the new rules.
Sunday, February 22, 2015
I think you'll be milked tonight
This morning, we were standing together in the kitchen, about to make breakfast for the kids. There was a familiar aching in my balls ad I let Mistress know that they ached. I didn't for any other reason than to let her know the status of her sub's condition. Without hesitation she said, "Hmm, I think we'll milk you tonight". I asked if she meant anally or if she intended to ruin an orgasm. She said "I don't know yet". We then went about making breakfast. She then reminded me that I didn't notice that she was awake and as such had to get her own coffee. I am now due to be punished. It's been a while since I have been spanked and now I will spend the entire day with nervous anticipation.
Her words did nothing to help my current condition. Hopefully her words will come true and will help my future condition.
Her words did nothing to help my current condition. Hopefully her words will come true and will help my future condition.
Friday, February 20, 2015
Effects of the plug
As stated in my previous post, I was told to wear my glass butt plug during the day. As is turns out, I had a meeting I need to attend to right after work which lasted until 10pm. That means I wore the plug for 14 hours! That being said, I could've worn it another 14 with as much pleasure as it had already given me.
When I am required to wear my plug, there are two things that I like about it the most. One is inserting it. It used to be that I need to use 1 finger and wriggle it around a bit and then a second finger to prep for the intruder. I don't believe that the sphincter muscle is something that gets more loose the more one's ass is penetrated. I may be wrong, but I think that resistance to entry is entirely a mental thing. Yes, even when my ass is hungry for something in it, it does need to be initially "warmed up", but now I have evolved to the point where I can just put some lube on my bottom hole, a tiny amount on the glass plug itself, press it against my waiting hole and in less than 30 seconds, have it slide nicely into place. When doing so, I like to linger a bit as the widest part of the plug holds me open. The other favorite thing about wearing a plug is removing it ... for much the same reason. Since i had been wearing it all day, I put myself in a position that turns me on. Like a position I would naturally be in when I am being taken by Mistress wearing her strap on. Then, i will slowly pull it out, again lingering while the widest part is holding me open. It is comfortable, arousing and always leaves me wanting more. I am incredibly horny after the plug is removed because it makes me feel like a wanton anal slut, eager to take Mistress' cock.
Yep, that's what happens ..........
Have a great weekend everyone!
When I am required to wear my plug, there are two things that I like about it the most. One is inserting it. It used to be that I need to use 1 finger and wriggle it around a bit and then a second finger to prep for the intruder. I don't believe that the sphincter muscle is something that gets more loose the more one's ass is penetrated. I may be wrong, but I think that resistance to entry is entirely a mental thing. Yes, even when my ass is hungry for something in it, it does need to be initially "warmed up", but now I have evolved to the point where I can just put some lube on my bottom hole, a tiny amount on the glass plug itself, press it against my waiting hole and in less than 30 seconds, have it slide nicely into place. When doing so, I like to linger a bit as the widest part of the plug holds me open. The other favorite thing about wearing a plug is removing it ... for much the same reason. Since i had been wearing it all day, I put myself in a position that turns me on. Like a position I would naturally be in when I am being taken by Mistress wearing her strap on. Then, i will slowly pull it out, again lingering while the widest part is holding me open. It is comfortable, arousing and always leaves me wanting more. I am incredibly horny after the plug is removed because it makes me feel like a wanton anal slut, eager to take Mistress' cock.
Yep, that's what happens ..........
Have a great weekend everyone!
Thursday, February 19, 2015
Daily Routine
Like most of you, Mistress K. and I are always having to find ways to express our love and devotion for each other, in our respective roles in our marriage. It's one of the reasons that our ritual was born that each day before i get dressed, I am required to advise Mistress K. that I am ready to get dressed. The primary purpose for the that is it gives mistress the opportunity to contemplate what, if anything, she wants me to wear under my clothes that will remind me all day of my submission to her, and also to symbolize our FLM. I have never asked Mistress if I could wear this or not, or not have to wear this or that, I merely await for her to decide what she feels at that moments is appropriate for me to wear, if anything. It is a tradition that developed on it's own and for each of us is an integral part of our life as a FLM couple.
On this day, Mistress instructed me to wear my butt plug. those of you that have read posts here before probably already know that my glass butt plug is my favorite thing to be told to wear for the day. Mistress K. knows this as well. That fact alone may be one of the reasons why Mistress K. has me wear less often than the plethora of other items she has me wear.
When I am wearing my plug, the fullness inside me is a gentle, warm, comfortable reminder that my body and my sex belongs to my Mistress. It also makes me horny. Anal horny. Each time I wear it, I privately hope it is because Mistress is preparing my bottom for her strap on for later. In the past, I had even let Mistress know that it was my hope each time I wore my plug. Her reply was to let me know that she was disappointed about how I was projecting, or topping from the bottom and because of that, at least for that occasion, and because of that, my hope that it was a precursor to her taking my bottom later was the very thing that wasn't going to happen. Hence the reason I keep that hope alive, but keep it completely to myself.
This is a good day. The weather here in Phoenix is right at the perfect temperature for human habitation, the love of my life is my Mistress Wife and she has chosen this day to have me wear a plug.
On this day, Mistress instructed me to wear my butt plug. those of you that have read posts here before probably already know that my glass butt plug is my favorite thing to be told to wear for the day. Mistress K. knows this as well. That fact alone may be one of the reasons why Mistress K. has me wear less often than the plethora of other items she has me wear.
When I am wearing my plug, the fullness inside me is a gentle, warm, comfortable reminder that my body and my sex belongs to my Mistress. It also makes me horny. Anal horny. Each time I wear it, I privately hope it is because Mistress is preparing my bottom for her strap on for later. In the past, I had even let Mistress know that it was my hope each time I wore my plug. Her reply was to let me know that she was disappointed about how I was projecting, or topping from the bottom and because of that, at least for that occasion, and because of that, my hope that it was a precursor to her taking my bottom later was the very thing that wasn't going to happen. Hence the reason I keep that hope alive, but keep it completely to myself.
This is a good day. The weather here in Phoenix is right at the perfect temperature for human habitation, the love of my life is my Mistress Wife and she has chosen this day to have me wear a plug.
Monday, February 16, 2015
Do Happy Couples Masturbate?
I came across this little article that discusses whether "Happy Couples Masturbate". Here it is:
I wasn't much surprised from reading the article. These types of articles reveal similar information each time one is published. People discussing how natural it is and that every does it (and we do). The more there is "conversation" going on about sexual things that were once only discussed behind closed doors or in Penthouse Forum articles, the better as far as I am concerned. I've also noticed an increases in titillating articles such as this one since the movie depicting America's latest obsession came out over the weekend. Again, I think it's nice.
One thing that you'll notice in the article is that when describing happy couples that masturbate, they talk only about the woman that masturbates, again in the context of a "happy couple" .... whatever that might be. In fact, in this article and others, they point out that the more unhappy the marriage is, the more frequently the man in the relationship will masturbate. I wholeheartedly agree that this little factoid is true. I'll even suggest that one could turn that a around a bit and be just as accurate ..... the more the man masturbates, the more unhappy his marriage becomes." Kind of a "chicken-and-the-egg" syndrome. It's very likely in my opinion that they are both entirely true and have a direct correlation to each other.
Over the weekend, Mistress and I were talking and extoling the virtues of our relationship. We were both prideful and beaming about how wonderfully our FLM has gone and that we are so much more in love, in lust and in tune with each other than we have ever been before. We are connecting on a level so much deeper than either of us could've imagined when we first fell in love, and even when we first crossed over into our FLM. I firmly believe that none of this would've been possible if it wasn't for one core principle in our Female Led Marriage ....... a complete and utter prohibition for me to masturbate without approval from Mistress, and under the direct supervision of Mistress.
Be fore our FLR, I masturbated at least three times a week. Usually in the shower and it was usually impromptu. Each time, in the back of my mind, I knew that I was letting some of my lust, some of my passion, wash away and down the shower drain. I wouldn't hide it from my (then vanilla) wife. We were open about things then too. I masturbated not because I was unhappy with my wife. Not at all. I did it because I could, whenever I was horny I just did it. You know, "if it feels good do it" mentality. Little did I know then that what I was doing was depriving my marriage, my wife and myself from the otherwise available sexual energy that was now just swirling down the drain every other day or so in the shower.
This very topic was one of the main reasons for my desire to formerly ask my wife if she would consider becoming my Mistress Wife. I am prohibited from touching myself sexually in any way, even in the tiniest way. I am only allowed to touch any part of my body in a non-sexual way and the obvious sexual parts of my body I am only allowed to touch for naturally occurring things or to clean them. Mistress trusts me implicitly in this regard and I have never even considered breaking that trust. Knock on wood. To do so would mean enforced chastity (cock cage) or severe punishments, or both.
All this being said and with the complete loss of freedom to touch myself sexually, and with the rare orgasms, sometimes rare teasing and denial, I have never had better more loving sex in my entire life. I couldn't be happier and the true, down in the soul, deep, deep love that I genuinely have for my Goddess Queen Wife has never been better.
Have a great week everybody!
I wasn't much surprised from reading the article. These types of articles reveal similar information each time one is published. People discussing how natural it is and that every does it (and we do). The more there is "conversation" going on about sexual things that were once only discussed behind closed doors or in Penthouse Forum articles, the better as far as I am concerned. I've also noticed an increases in titillating articles such as this one since the movie depicting America's latest obsession came out over the weekend. Again, I think it's nice.
One thing that you'll notice in the article is that when describing happy couples that masturbate, they talk only about the woman that masturbates, again in the context of a "happy couple" .... whatever that might be. In fact, in this article and others, they point out that the more unhappy the marriage is, the more frequently the man in the relationship will masturbate. I wholeheartedly agree that this little factoid is true. I'll even suggest that one could turn that a around a bit and be just as accurate ..... the more the man masturbates, the more unhappy his marriage becomes." Kind of a "chicken-and-the-egg" syndrome. It's very likely in my opinion that they are both entirely true and have a direct correlation to each other.
Over the weekend, Mistress and I were talking and extoling the virtues of our relationship. We were both prideful and beaming about how wonderfully our FLM has gone and that we are so much more in love, in lust and in tune with each other than we have ever been before. We are connecting on a level so much deeper than either of us could've imagined when we first fell in love, and even when we first crossed over into our FLM. I firmly believe that none of this would've been possible if it wasn't for one core principle in our Female Led Marriage ....... a complete and utter prohibition for me to masturbate without approval from Mistress, and under the direct supervision of Mistress.
Be fore our FLR, I masturbated at least three times a week. Usually in the shower and it was usually impromptu. Each time, in the back of my mind, I knew that I was letting some of my lust, some of my passion, wash away and down the shower drain. I wouldn't hide it from my (then vanilla) wife. We were open about things then too. I masturbated not because I was unhappy with my wife. Not at all. I did it because I could, whenever I was horny I just did it. You know, "if it feels good do it" mentality. Little did I know then that what I was doing was depriving my marriage, my wife and myself from the otherwise available sexual energy that was now just swirling down the drain every other day or so in the shower.
This very topic was one of the main reasons for my desire to formerly ask my wife if she would consider becoming my Mistress Wife. I am prohibited from touching myself sexually in any way, even in the tiniest way. I am only allowed to touch any part of my body in a non-sexual way and the obvious sexual parts of my body I am only allowed to touch for naturally occurring things or to clean them. Mistress trusts me implicitly in this regard and I have never even considered breaking that trust. Knock on wood. To do so would mean enforced chastity (cock cage) or severe punishments, or both.
All this being said and with the complete loss of freedom to touch myself sexually, and with the rare orgasms, sometimes rare teasing and denial, I have never had better more loving sex in my entire life. I couldn't be happier and the true, down in the soul, deep, deep love that I genuinely have for my Goddess Queen Wife has never been better.
Have a great week everybody!
Friday, February 13, 2015
Subspace
Subspace. It's an incredible feeling, on any level. From the smallest of gestures that symbolize my submission to Mistress K., to the intense physical sessions of sex or discipline that Mistress either wants/needs, or feels is required. It's really very difficult to explain exactly how it feels. Like trying to describe love.
This morning, Mistress returned from taking the kids to school. there I was, naked (as I am required to be) sitting on the floor fixing something under the sink. It has become a natural thing in our marriage and although there is hardly anything I enjoy more than to be naked before my Mistress, it has become a natural state. That fact, in and of itself makes me feel very happy and proud, and yes, more submissive.
When it was to get dressed, Mistress instructed me to wear panties. Nothing unusual there. I've worn panties plenty of times at her insistence. I have no desire to be feminized, and frankly, Mistress has no desire to feminize me. But, I do feel sexy and slutty when I wear panties. I don't know if that is because of the panties themselves, or the fact that I am required to wear them by Mistress, or both. I get reminded of that feeling every time I got to the bathroom to pee. Just unzipping, reaching in for my cock to take it our to pee, I feel the sexy lace that is slung low, just above my penis, laying on the always freshly shaved area is arousing to me.
Mistress went to the other room after giving me my panties instructions. 30 seconds later, she called for me, telling me that she wanted to see me in my panties before covering them up with clothes. There. Right there, was one of those times that took me right to the comfort of subspace. being required to model my panties for my Mistress' viewing pleasure is an absolute joy. Having her view me, naked, in panties only, in regular clothes, or anything else she decides she wants to see me in is so exhilarating. Especially when I am required to preform sexually for her viewing pleasure.
I stood there happily while Mistress looked me over, had me turn for her so she could see everything, and even when she told me to pull them up higher because they'd look better. In the back of my mind, I hoped that Mistress would take me, bend me over and my panties down just below my bottom, exposing me in what I think is a super submissive way. The lowered panties symbolizing access to my ass for punishment, or my ass for entering, or simply for display.
I've said it before in a recent post. It's the little things!
This morning, Mistress returned from taking the kids to school. there I was, naked (as I am required to be) sitting on the floor fixing something under the sink. It has become a natural thing in our marriage and although there is hardly anything I enjoy more than to be naked before my Mistress, it has become a natural state. That fact, in and of itself makes me feel very happy and proud, and yes, more submissive.
When it was to get dressed, Mistress instructed me to wear panties. Nothing unusual there. I've worn panties plenty of times at her insistence. I have no desire to be feminized, and frankly, Mistress has no desire to feminize me. But, I do feel sexy and slutty when I wear panties. I don't know if that is because of the panties themselves, or the fact that I am required to wear them by Mistress, or both. I get reminded of that feeling every time I got to the bathroom to pee. Just unzipping, reaching in for my cock to take it our to pee, I feel the sexy lace that is slung low, just above my penis, laying on the always freshly shaved area is arousing to me.
Mistress went to the other room after giving me my panties instructions. 30 seconds later, she called for me, telling me that she wanted to see me in my panties before covering them up with clothes. There. Right there, was one of those times that took me right to the comfort of subspace. being required to model my panties for my Mistress' viewing pleasure is an absolute joy. Having her view me, naked, in panties only, in regular clothes, or anything else she decides she wants to see me in is so exhilarating. Especially when I am required to preform sexually for her viewing pleasure.
I stood there happily while Mistress looked me over, had me turn for her so she could see everything, and even when she told me to pull them up higher because they'd look better. In the back of my mind, I hoped that Mistress would take me, bend me over and my panties down just below my bottom, exposing me in what I think is a super submissive way. The lowered panties symbolizing access to my ass for punishment, or my ass for entering, or simply for display.
I've said it before in a recent post. It's the little things!
Thursday, February 12, 2015
Why not jump in too?
I've noticed that many of my friends that have blogs in my reading list have posted in the last day or so, in some fashion, about 50 Shades of Grey. Everyone has a opinion about it and many of them are on opposite ends of the spectrum. Some are eager to see it and like it, others are eager to see it and hate it. Whatever their expectation may be, so many are eager to see it. And you know what? ... everyone's opinion about it is and will be valid.
I've made some comments in some blogs about this, but in order to try to topical, I thought I'd express my thoughts about it here too. Many people in our little community of loving Dominants and submissives/slaves have expressed disdain about the movie and how it is expected to be fraught with things that are either not true, vaguely true or sensationalized for the Hollywood effect. Myself, I don't intend to see it until it comes out on DVD/Netflix, unless of course Mistress K. tells me we are going to see it.
However inaccurate or sensationalized it might turn out to be, I see a benefit for those of us that live in the BDSM community in general. If nothing else, the movie will allow for the general public (the Vanillas as I have been calling them) to have a reason to have conversations about BDSM in general. Many of those will blush and giggle when they talk about it. Others will hold up their nose about how stupid or inaccurate it is, and still others will truly, genuinely be aroused at the prospect of a power exchange dynamic in their sex lives, even though they will likely never admit it openly. Still others will use it for fodder for innuendo in polite conversation as a way to subtly let the world (the Vanillas) know that they have either an interest in it, or experience in it, or both. I'm sure it will be a sappy, sometimes stupid attempt at being an edgy love story, but that's ok.
However it manifests itself, there will be millions of people talking about the BDSM culture, that never had a reason or occasion to talk about it before, which will bring more awareness of power exchange dynamics into the mainstream. For that reason ...... I'm looking forward to watching and wallowing in the 50 Shades mania!
Happy Valentine's Days to all you lovers out there!
I've made some comments in some blogs about this, but in order to try to topical, I thought I'd express my thoughts about it here too. Many people in our little community of loving Dominants and submissives/slaves have expressed disdain about the movie and how it is expected to be fraught with things that are either not true, vaguely true or sensationalized for the Hollywood effect. Myself, I don't intend to see it until it comes out on DVD/Netflix, unless of course Mistress K. tells me we are going to see it.
However inaccurate or sensationalized it might turn out to be, I see a benefit for those of us that live in the BDSM community in general. If nothing else, the movie will allow for the general public (the Vanillas as I have been calling them) to have a reason to have conversations about BDSM in general. Many of those will blush and giggle when they talk about it. Others will hold up their nose about how stupid or inaccurate it is, and still others will truly, genuinely be aroused at the prospect of a power exchange dynamic in their sex lives, even though they will likely never admit it openly. Still others will use it for fodder for innuendo in polite conversation as a way to subtly let the world (the Vanillas) know that they have either an interest in it, or experience in it, or both. I'm sure it will be a sappy, sometimes stupid attempt at being an edgy love story, but that's ok.
However it manifests itself, there will be millions of people talking about the BDSM culture, that never had a reason or occasion to talk about it before, which will bring more awareness of power exchange dynamics into the mainstream. For that reason ...... I'm looking forward to watching and wallowing in the 50 Shades mania!
Happy Valentine's Days to all you lovers out there!
Wednesday, February 11, 2015
Dinner meeting to review our relationship
As Mistress K. and I are prone to do, we occasionally will have a "date night" (so we tell our kids) meeting in order for us to discuss, among other things of course, the State of The Union of our marriage. We will review how each of us is feeling and talk in general and specifically about some of the aspects of our FLM that we love, wonder about, maybe even don't like. I know that I always look forward to these meetings and since we haven't had one in months, I am really excited about spending quality time with my beloved Mistress.
Mistress and I have always celebrated Valentine's day on February 13th. We started doing that when we were dating on our first Valentine's day together because I was groaning and complaining that I waited too long and wasn't able to get a reservation at any of our favorite restaurants. My bad ... poor planning on part. She suggested that we just get a reservation on the 13th instead. That way we had our choice of times, there was no being rushed out by the waiter so the next waves of lovers celebrating the day could sit, that sort of thing. So we did. It was excellent. So that's when our little tradition started.
This year is no different. With Valentine's day being on a Friday this year, we'll be able to have a great time, in a romantic setting and be able to discuss all of the aspects of our joyous relationship. I can't wait.
Happy Valentine's Day to all you lovers out there!
Mistress and I have always celebrated Valentine's day on February 13th. We started doing that when we were dating on our first Valentine's day together because I was groaning and complaining that I waited too long and wasn't able to get a reservation at any of our favorite restaurants. My bad ... poor planning on part. She suggested that we just get a reservation on the 13th instead. That way we had our choice of times, there was no being rushed out by the waiter so the next waves of lovers celebrating the day could sit, that sort of thing. So we did. It was excellent. So that's when our little tradition started.
This year is no different. With Valentine's day being on a Friday this year, we'll be able to have a great time, in a romantic setting and be able to discuss all of the aspects of our joyous relationship. I can't wait.
Happy Valentine's Day to all you lovers out there!
Tuesday, February 10, 2015
I am ready to get dressed for work Mistress
Yesterday morning, I was done with my usual morning routine. I had showered, shaved my face balls, ass and cock after my long weekend away. I was in the kitchen, naked, having just finishing the morning dishes when Mistress K. walked in the door from taking the kids to school. I walked over to her and we canoodled for a few minutes. Those moments of embrace are just so very special. Just holding each other, my face buried in her neck, taking in her aroma in deep breaths.
Like I do every morning, I told Mistress that I was ready to get dressed. As many of you know, I have conditioned myself not let Mistress know I am waiting for her instructions on what to wear under my clothes by asking if I can wear this, or that, or ......? Instead, I only advise her that I am ready to get dresses, offering her the opportunity to determine what, if anything I am to wear under my clothes. Anything from panties, to cock rick, balls separator to butt plug.
On this particular morning, Mistress took my hand and led me into the bedroom. I first thought she was going to take me into the closet where that collection of items is so we could look over them together, like she sometimes likes to do. Instead, she took me to the edge of the bed and had bend at the waist, face in the bed. her instructions were to not move. I heard rustling in the closet for a minute or two then heard her walking toward me. I didn't know what to expect. Was she going to punish me? Did she have me in this position because she was going to fuck my ass? I didn't have any idea and not knowing was so very erotic. Suddenly she slipped a blindfold over my eyes, stood me up straight, grabbed my hand and led me blindly behind her. I knew we were headed in the direction of the bedroom entrance or the bathroom. After banging my shoulder on the wall I couldn't see, Mistress stopped. I heard the double doors to our bedroom close. Mistress pushed me against the door, facing it with instructions to put my feet together and keep my wrists together with my arms stretched fully and placed on the door above my head. Mistress began to use bondage tape to tape my ankles together. Then she had me turn around and present my wrists to her for the same reason. Once my wrists and ankles were bound together, I was again turned to face the door and pressed against, while Mistress put a ball gag in mouth and securely fastened it to my head.
I began to get a little nervous about what might be my fate. Was this the time that Mistress felt that a good hard maintenance spanking was in order? Was it going to hurt so much that Mistress felt like she need the ball gag, even though we were alone in the house? I was pretty certain that with the way I restrained and the way I was positioned, facing and pressed against the closed door, that I was about to receive a severe punishment. For what? I didn't know, but there doesn't really need to be reason, now does there?
I was left in that position while Mistress attended to something else. I couldn't tell what she was doing but being bound in that position. I was certain that I was merely waiting to be punished severely. That Mistress was in a particularly sadistic mood and wanted to see me suffer from infliction of a little bit of pain. (Mistress a little sadistic streak in her. Nothing serious, but she can genuinely get off by watching me accept a little pain from her). Still facing the door, my cock still hard as rock for the delicious mixture of anticipation and fear, I felt one hand on my as and one wrap around my cock. She fondled me for a minute or so then turned me around so my back was against the door. I felt lube being applied to my cock and then something being pressed onto it. At first I was certain that Mistress was placing my cock sleeve on me so that she could get a good fucking. I soon realizes that it was Mistress herself. She had removed her pj's and panties and was sliding her pussy up and down on my hardness. It didn't take long at all before I was on the edge and told her so. She immediately removed herself, quickly turned me around, pressed the front of body to the closed door and proceeded to paddle my ass with her bare hand for not being able to control my cock better. Then she turned me around and climbed right back on. Again, same result, quickly brought to the edge, a quick warning that I was about to cum and another turn at facing the door and receiving 5 -10 rapid, firm spanks. Mistress turned me again, mounted me again and this time, before I could get near the edge, she stopped and simply said ........... "that's what your wearing under clothes today. Now get dressed." She removed the bondage tape from my wrists and ankles and pointed to the closet ordering me to get dressed. Then she turned on her heels and walked to the bedroom door, smiling at me and kissing me on the cheek on the way.
Like I do every morning, I told Mistress that I was ready to get dressed. As many of you know, I have conditioned myself not let Mistress know I am waiting for her instructions on what to wear under my clothes by asking if I can wear this, or that, or ......? Instead, I only advise her that I am ready to get dresses, offering her the opportunity to determine what, if anything I am to wear under my clothes. Anything from panties, to cock rick, balls separator to butt plug.
On this particular morning, Mistress took my hand and led me into the bedroom. I first thought she was going to take me into the closet where that collection of items is so we could look over them together, like she sometimes likes to do. Instead, she took me to the edge of the bed and had bend at the waist, face in the bed. her instructions were to not move. I heard rustling in the closet for a minute or two then heard her walking toward me. I didn't know what to expect. Was she going to punish me? Did she have me in this position because she was going to fuck my ass? I didn't have any idea and not knowing was so very erotic. Suddenly she slipped a blindfold over my eyes, stood me up straight, grabbed my hand and led me blindly behind her. I knew we were headed in the direction of the bedroom entrance or the bathroom. After banging my shoulder on the wall I couldn't see, Mistress stopped. I heard the double doors to our bedroom close. Mistress pushed me against the door, facing it with instructions to put my feet together and keep my wrists together with my arms stretched fully and placed on the door above my head. Mistress began to use bondage tape to tape my ankles together. Then she had me turn around and present my wrists to her for the same reason. Once my wrists and ankles were bound together, I was again turned to face the door and pressed against, while Mistress put a ball gag in mouth and securely fastened it to my head.
I began to get a little nervous about what might be my fate. Was this the time that Mistress felt that a good hard maintenance spanking was in order? Was it going to hurt so much that Mistress felt like she need the ball gag, even though we were alone in the house? I was pretty certain that with the way I restrained and the way I was positioned, facing and pressed against the closed door, that I was about to receive a severe punishment. For what? I didn't know, but there doesn't really need to be reason, now does there?
I was left in that position while Mistress attended to something else. I couldn't tell what she was doing but being bound in that position. I was certain that I was merely waiting to be punished severely. That Mistress was in a particularly sadistic mood and wanted to see me suffer from infliction of a little bit of pain. (Mistress a little sadistic streak in her. Nothing serious, but she can genuinely get off by watching me accept a little pain from her). Still facing the door, my cock still hard as rock for the delicious mixture of anticipation and fear, I felt one hand on my as and one wrap around my cock. She fondled me for a minute or so then turned me around so my back was against the door. I felt lube being applied to my cock and then something being pressed onto it. At first I was certain that Mistress was placing my cock sleeve on me so that she could get a good fucking. I soon realizes that it was Mistress herself. She had removed her pj's and panties and was sliding her pussy up and down on my hardness. It didn't take long at all before I was on the edge and told her so. She immediately removed herself, quickly turned me around, pressed the front of body to the closed door and proceeded to paddle my ass with her bare hand for not being able to control my cock better. Then she turned me around and climbed right back on. Again, same result, quickly brought to the edge, a quick warning that I was about to cum and another turn at facing the door and receiving 5 -10 rapid, firm spanks. Mistress turned me again, mounted me again and this time, before I could get near the edge, she stopped and simply said ........... "that's what your wearing under clothes today. Now get dressed." She removed the bondage tape from my wrists and ankles and pointed to the closet ordering me to get dressed. Then she turned on her heels and walked to the bedroom door, smiling at me and kissing me on the cheek on the way.
Monday, February 9, 2015
Back to the glory of real life
I everyone, I missed you all while I was gone. I was able to go somewhere that I love and to do something that I love to do (fishing). The place is so remote that viewing the blog was next to impossible, so please forgive me if I am a little out of sorts while I catch up.
I left on Thursday at around noon. Thursday morning was intended to allow me enough time to prepare everything I needed for my trip and then a couple of buddies that were going with me would be dropped off, then we would go to our destination. There was plenty of time for preparation and so when Mistress returned from taking the kids to school, I was prepared and waiting for her. I was freshly showered, freshly shaved, naked and properly waiting for her to walk in the door. Before she left to take the kids to school, she asked so she knew how much time there would be before I really needed to begin to prepare for my trip in earnest.
She returned from school, walked over to me, hugged me, kissed , kissed my neck and cooed with me for a few minutes before going into the bathroom and starting a bath. I always excited when Mistress starts a bath and we are a lone in the house. It usually means happiness for each of us. I know that when Mistress is freshly bathed, she loves to have her body worshipped and for me to place kisses all over her body. She could lay there for hours while that was happening to her. Frankly, I could do it for hours because it is an honor and a special treat to be allowed to worship her that. It is not at all a chore. In fact, I am erect right now just recalling it enough to type these words here.
AS Mistress always does, she became so aroused after quite some time with me worshipping her naked body and she felt it was time to get busy. She ordered me over to the chair (the "throne") that she usually watches TV in, sits in when she spanks me, and sits in as I kneel before her to ritualistically pleasure her with my mouth. It is decidedly her chair. I was instructed to sit and she walked over in great haste, ordered me to close my legs while she straddled me as she impaled herself on the rock hard object of her affection. Then, she abruptly climbed off of it and moved up my body to straddle my face, pulling me into her by my hair. She alternated between my cock and my mouth many times before ordering me back to the bed. Again, she alternated between using my tongue and my cock for her pleasure until she reached an amazing orgasm. She took only a few seconds to "recover" she looked at me, pulled her legs apart and ordered me to enter here and make love to her. She left nothing to the imagination when she ordered to me to fuck her hard and to not stop until after I had emptied my balls into her. She made/allowed me to orgasm inside while fully thrusting and in way trying to diminish or ruin the pleasurable effects of my orgasm. When I came, it was as loud as I have ever been when having an orgasm. The unbelievable joy of being allowed, no being required to be between my Mistress' legs and being inside of her body and being allowed the pleasure of cumming inside her was ..... emotional. Wonderfully emotional. Being able to look deep into the eyes of the woman that I love the most while cumming like that, is just such a joyous thing. I so very cherish the loving gift of an orgasm when Mistress allows me to experience one.
This next comment is one that happens frequently on the rare occasions when Mistress allows me a full orgasm ......... "that was the best, most powerful, almost spiritual orgasms I have ever had". I'm sure it (or something like it) will be an apt the next time I am allowed to fully orgasm, whenever that may be.
I love you so much Mistress K. Thank you for owning me.
I left on Thursday at around noon. Thursday morning was intended to allow me enough time to prepare everything I needed for my trip and then a couple of buddies that were going with me would be dropped off, then we would go to our destination. There was plenty of time for preparation and so when Mistress returned from taking the kids to school, I was prepared and waiting for her. I was freshly showered, freshly shaved, naked and properly waiting for her to walk in the door. Before she left to take the kids to school, she asked so she knew how much time there would be before I really needed to begin to prepare for my trip in earnest.
She returned from school, walked over to me, hugged me, kissed , kissed my neck and cooed with me for a few minutes before going into the bathroom and starting a bath. I always excited when Mistress starts a bath and we are a lone in the house. It usually means happiness for each of us. I know that when Mistress is freshly bathed, she loves to have her body worshipped and for me to place kisses all over her body. She could lay there for hours while that was happening to her. Frankly, I could do it for hours because it is an honor and a special treat to be allowed to worship her that. It is not at all a chore. In fact, I am erect right now just recalling it enough to type these words here.
AS Mistress always does, she became so aroused after quite some time with me worshipping her naked body and she felt it was time to get busy. She ordered me over to the chair (the "throne") that she usually watches TV in, sits in when she spanks me, and sits in as I kneel before her to ritualistically pleasure her with my mouth. It is decidedly her chair. I was instructed to sit and she walked over in great haste, ordered me to close my legs while she straddled me as she impaled herself on the rock hard object of her affection. Then, she abruptly climbed off of it and moved up my body to straddle my face, pulling me into her by my hair. She alternated between my cock and my mouth many times before ordering me back to the bed. Again, she alternated between using my tongue and my cock for her pleasure until she reached an amazing orgasm. She took only a few seconds to "recover" she looked at me, pulled her legs apart and ordered me to enter here and make love to her. She left nothing to the imagination when she ordered to me to fuck her hard and to not stop until after I had emptied my balls into her. She made/allowed me to orgasm inside while fully thrusting and in way trying to diminish or ruin the pleasurable effects of my orgasm. When I came, it was as loud as I have ever been when having an orgasm. The unbelievable joy of being allowed, no being required to be between my Mistress' legs and being inside of her body and being allowed the pleasure of cumming inside her was ..... emotional. Wonderfully emotional. Being able to look deep into the eyes of the woman that I love the most while cumming like that, is just such a joyous thing. I so very cherish the loving gift of an orgasm when Mistress allows me to experience one.
This next comment is one that happens frequently on the rare occasions when Mistress allows me a full orgasm ......... "that was the best, most powerful, almost spiritual orgasms I have ever had". I'm sure it (or something like it) will be an apt the next time I am allowed to fully orgasm, whenever that may be.
I love you so much Mistress K. Thank you for owning me.
Thursday, February 5, 2015
Away for a few days
Hi gang,
Not that it is earth shattering, need-to-know news, but I'm going to be away until Sunday afternoon with very limited access to this blog or my email. Please don't think it rude of me should I not respond till then or Monday.
In the meantime, I sitting here, freshly showered and shave, naked and wearing the collar that Mistress used to officially take ownership of me during our vows renewal ceremony in the fall. She futzing around the house while I dutifully await her possibly having a use for me.
See you next week everyone.
Not that it is earth shattering, need-to-know news, but I'm going to be away until Sunday afternoon with very limited access to this blog or my email. Please don't think it rude of me should I not respond till then or Monday.
In the meantime, I sitting here, freshly showered and shave, naked and wearing the collar that Mistress used to officially take ownership of me during our vows renewal ceremony in the fall. She futzing around the house while I dutifully await her possibly having a use for me.
*** picture removed to comply with Blogger's new rules ***
Wednesday, February 4, 2015
Cucked?
Not really, no.
This morning, I was naked and approached Mistress to inform her that I was about to get dressed. She then informed me that she had bought me some golf pants yesterday and that since i was already naked, it would be a good time to try them on. She ordered me to our closet, showed me the pants and had me try them on, then stand on a stool so she could pin the legs where they were to be hemmed. After both pairs were pinned, she ordered me out of my clothes and to stay standing on the stool. She reached for some lube and starting stoking my rapidly growing erection. At the same time, her other hand was roaming my naked body and she started to bite my butt. Being naked on that stool while she was edging me was so hot that it was only a matter of seconds before I was straining to avoid an orgasm. There is just something about being objectified by this gorgeous woman that sends me straight to the edge quickly. After a few repeated trips to the edge, she abruptly stopped and told me to clean up and get dressed for work. "You'll be wearing a cock ring today" she said as I made my way toward the bathroom. it was hot. Really hot.
I left for the office with a rock hard cock. I couldn't take my mind off of what just happened. While sitting at a red light i texted here a few sexy pictures. One of them was of the suction-cup dildo that she used to simulate a cuck experience. More about that can be viewed in this post:
I got to the office, had to focus on my job because an important meeting was waiting for me the second I walked in the door. That meeting lasted about 90 minutes and as I was walking from the conference room to my office, i received a text from her that simply said "jealous?". At first I didn't know what she meant. Then it occurred to me that she was referring to the suction cup dildo in the pictures. The very one she "cucked " me with a couple of weeks ago. I had to stop and think .... am I actually jealous of a sex toy? No. I thoroughly enjoy using sex toys in our lovemaking, without ever having an ounce of self-consciousness. Does she think I am jealous of the imaginary man that was represented by the dildo that day, and that was fucking her hard and for as long as she wanted? Maybe a little, but no, because it wasn't an actual man that was pleasuring her that way.
I replied by saying that jealous may not be the right word and that perhaps "conflicted" was the right word. Immediately after sending it I thought to myself ... Conflicted? Conflicted about what? I came to realize that my conflict had to do with the disappointment I feel when I am not physically able to fuck her for as long as she wants to be fucked. Not without having to stop and start frequently in order to avoid orgasm or ejaculation. I understand this to be common among submissive men in a loving FLM if for no other reason than the constant edging and teasing, and for being in what amounts to a constant state of arousal. Still, I want to be the kind of bull-like lover that she sometimes wants to be fucking her. I can't absolutely do it with some time to plan and some knowledge that it is going to be something she will want right then. A little desensitizing spray and maybe even a cock-sleeve usually does the trick.
I went on to tell her that the other side of the conflict coin was my incredible desire to see my Mistress in the absolute throes of passion, and to witness the joy she has by being fucked hard, long and in a way that allows her to have reckless abandon. I've said it before and often ... It truly is an enormous source of sexual pleasure for me to witness Mistress in that state of reckless abandon. So much so in fact that I know I could conjure up my own ruined orgasm without any direct stimulation to my cock and by merely watching her. Ideally, the cock that would otherwise be giving her that pleasure would be mine. I wouldn't be able to handle it emotionally, to watch my Mistress being fucked in that fashion by a living, breathing, other man. In other words, I wouldn't be able to handle being actually cucked by her with an actual other man. A rubber, suction cup dildo? yes. Another woman? Yes! (I know, I know ... typical piggish male attitude, but at least I am honest about it.) But not another real, live man.
It got me to thinking ... Is it inevitable? Are we headed toward the cuckold conversation. OMG, could this be happening? You know how the mind works ... once a little anxiety sets in, illogical thoughts begin to take over at which point, I had to abandon any idea that this could actually be happening because it wasn't actually logical.
That was earlier today. Since then I have had time to think about it all calmly and I have come to the conclusion that although I still am in no way able to emotionally handle actually (probably now more than before), really being cucked by my Mistress with real, other man, I do hope that Mistress will "cuck" me again with that suction cup dildo again real soon, and real often. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I dreaded having the knowledge that this topic and conversation would someday come into my view. Guh!
Conflicted.
This morning, I was naked and approached Mistress to inform her that I was about to get dressed. She then informed me that she had bought me some golf pants yesterday and that since i was already naked, it would be a good time to try them on. She ordered me to our closet, showed me the pants and had me try them on, then stand on a stool so she could pin the legs where they were to be hemmed. After both pairs were pinned, she ordered me out of my clothes and to stay standing on the stool. She reached for some lube and starting stoking my rapidly growing erection. At the same time, her other hand was roaming my naked body and she started to bite my butt. Being naked on that stool while she was edging me was so hot that it was only a matter of seconds before I was straining to avoid an orgasm. There is just something about being objectified by this gorgeous woman that sends me straight to the edge quickly. After a few repeated trips to the edge, she abruptly stopped and told me to clean up and get dressed for work. "You'll be wearing a cock ring today" she said as I made my way toward the bathroom. it was hot. Really hot.
I left for the office with a rock hard cock. I couldn't take my mind off of what just happened. While sitting at a red light i texted here a few sexy pictures. One of them was of the suction-cup dildo that she used to simulate a cuck experience. More about that can be viewed in this post:
I got to the office, had to focus on my job because an important meeting was waiting for me the second I walked in the door. That meeting lasted about 90 minutes and as I was walking from the conference room to my office, i received a text from her that simply said "jealous?". At first I didn't know what she meant. Then it occurred to me that she was referring to the suction cup dildo in the pictures. The very one she "cucked " me with a couple of weeks ago. I had to stop and think .... am I actually jealous of a sex toy? No. I thoroughly enjoy using sex toys in our lovemaking, without ever having an ounce of self-consciousness. Does she think I am jealous of the imaginary man that was represented by the dildo that day, and that was fucking her hard and for as long as she wanted? Maybe a little, but no, because it wasn't an actual man that was pleasuring her that way.
I replied by saying that jealous may not be the right word and that perhaps "conflicted" was the right word. Immediately after sending it I thought to myself ... Conflicted? Conflicted about what? I came to realize that my conflict had to do with the disappointment I feel when I am not physically able to fuck her for as long as she wants to be fucked. Not without having to stop and start frequently in order to avoid orgasm or ejaculation. I understand this to be common among submissive men in a loving FLM if for no other reason than the constant edging and teasing, and for being in what amounts to a constant state of arousal. Still, I want to be the kind of bull-like lover that she sometimes wants to be fucking her. I can't absolutely do it with some time to plan and some knowledge that it is going to be something she will want right then. A little desensitizing spray and maybe even a cock-sleeve usually does the trick.
I went on to tell her that the other side of the conflict coin was my incredible desire to see my Mistress in the absolute throes of passion, and to witness the joy she has by being fucked hard, long and in a way that allows her to have reckless abandon. I've said it before and often ... It truly is an enormous source of sexual pleasure for me to witness Mistress in that state of reckless abandon. So much so in fact that I know I could conjure up my own ruined orgasm without any direct stimulation to my cock and by merely watching her. Ideally, the cock that would otherwise be giving her that pleasure would be mine. I wouldn't be able to handle it emotionally, to watch my Mistress being fucked in that fashion by a living, breathing, other man. In other words, I wouldn't be able to handle being actually cucked by her with an actual other man. A rubber, suction cup dildo? yes. Another woman? Yes! (I know, I know ... typical piggish male attitude, but at least I am honest about it.) But not another real, live man.
It got me to thinking ... Is it inevitable? Are we headed toward the cuckold conversation. OMG, could this be happening? You know how the mind works ... once a little anxiety sets in, illogical thoughts begin to take over at which point, I had to abandon any idea that this could actually be happening because it wasn't actually logical.
That was earlier today. Since then I have had time to think about it all calmly and I have come to the conclusion that although I still am in no way able to emotionally handle actually (probably now more than before), really being cucked by my Mistress with real, other man, I do hope that Mistress will "cuck" me again with that suction cup dildo again real soon, and real often. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I dreaded having the knowledge that this topic and conversation would someday come into my view. Guh!
Conflicted.
Tuesday, February 3, 2015
I think I'll make you orgasm
Last night, I was laying naked in bed, waiting for Mistress to join me. In the winter (even though it's sunny warm Phoenix) Mistress wear sock, pajama pants and a t-shirt to bed. Guh. For obvious reason, I so much prefer when Mistress sleeps naked. Anyway ... as she was going through her routine of getting all 3 of her pillows adjust in just perfect position, and making sure the blanket was the perfect length to be able to fully cover her as she settles in to her comfy bed (this process can take as much 3 or minutes, even longer if she forgets something 3/4 of the way through, has to get out of bed and return to start the process all over), Mistress asked me ... "when was the last time you had an orgasm?" I replied, "do you mean a ruined orgasm, or a real one?". "A real one", she said.
"October 15, 2014 Mistress", was my reply. The was a bit of pride in my reply.. After all, that was 3 1/2 months since my last full on orgasm and since then, I have had some of the most incredible sex of my entire life, have never been more genuinely in love with my beautiful Wife and have never desired her sexually. She was rolling into her final resting spot for the evening on and in her mountain of pillows when she said "Hmmm, I think I'll make you have an orgasm". There was reason given, no time table, no indication that it was going to be that night ..... just the lingering threat of a forced orgasm.
Interestingly (at least to me), I began to think about the forced orgasm coming my way in much the same way I feel when Mistress has declared that I will be receiving a punishment spanking. That regret and fear of something that you know will happen. Something that is an enigma in that the idea of having to endure a harsh, punishment spanking (or something else that Mistress may require) is arousing, but the actual act while it is happening .... isn't. Why in the world would equate the idea of my beautiful, sexy, gorgeous, loving, nurturing Mistress making me have an orgasm, to the searing sting, pain and shame that comes with a punishment spanking. Not one of those sexy, foreplay kind of spankings .... I mean one of those "you really fucked boy and your ass is going to pay for it" kind of spankings.
Mine is not to question when, why and how Mistress will declare a punishment spanking is necessary, or anything else for that matter. If Mistress wants me to have an orgasm, that's what will happen, even if I don't want to have one. Do you think it's possible for someone outside the lifestyle, someone vanilla, to even be able to understand how it could be possible that I am happier than I ever have been in my marriage, and in my sex life, with the knowledge that my last full orgasm was over 3 1/2 months ago, and only because the was the last time my wife allow me to have one? I love my life. I love my wife!
"October 15, 2014 Mistress", was my reply. The was a bit of pride in my reply.. After all, that was 3 1/2 months since my last full on orgasm and since then, I have had some of the most incredible sex of my entire life, have never been more genuinely in love with my beautiful Wife and have never desired her sexually. She was rolling into her final resting spot for the evening on and in her mountain of pillows when she said "Hmmm, I think I'll make you have an orgasm". There was reason given, no time table, no indication that it was going to be that night ..... just the lingering threat of a forced orgasm.
Interestingly (at least to me), I began to think about the forced orgasm coming my way in much the same way I feel when Mistress has declared that I will be receiving a punishment spanking. That regret and fear of something that you know will happen. Something that is an enigma in that the idea of having to endure a harsh, punishment spanking (or something else that Mistress may require) is arousing, but the actual act while it is happening .... isn't. Why in the world would equate the idea of my beautiful, sexy, gorgeous, loving, nurturing Mistress making me have an orgasm, to the searing sting, pain and shame that comes with a punishment spanking. Not one of those sexy, foreplay kind of spankings .... I mean one of those "you really fucked boy and your ass is going to pay for it" kind of spankings.
Mine is not to question when, why and how Mistress will declare a punishment spanking is necessary, or anything else for that matter. If Mistress wants me to have an orgasm, that's what will happen, even if I don't want to have one. Do you think it's possible for someone outside the lifestyle, someone vanilla, to even be able to understand how it could be possible that I am happier than I ever have been in my marriage, and in my sex life, with the knowledge that my last full orgasm was over 3 1/2 months ago, and only because the was the last time my wife allow me to have one? I love my life. I love my wife!
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