There have been plenty of discussions on blog sites lately about the real value (or perhaps the lack thereof) of spankings, in particular as used as form of punishment, training or discipline. there have been plenty of lucid, logical and reasonable points and comments made on both ends of the spectrum. To some, they are valueless and merely are used in order to satisfy one's kink, either for the spanker or the spankee. Ok, I get that, and at the end of the, all of the opinions expressed are real and valid as they relate to each couples individual circumstances within the confines of their relationship. On the other hand, none of the comments or opinions are valid if those opinions are intended to dispute an opposing opinion. They are just that .... opinions. I'll try to describe mine.
Yesterday morning, Mistress K. informed me that at the end of the day, I was going to be spanked, as a punishment, for the recent transgression of failing to get her coffee for her on Sunday morning past. As it turned out, life circumstances took over which caused all of the energy necessary to properly execute my spanking, to be drained by the end of the day. I respectfully asked Mistress if we could postpone my spanking punishment for another time because I was dead ass tired and I could also tell that so was Mistress. She agreed, but with a caveat ........... that it will be more severe than what it would've been had it been performed last evening. "Yes Mistress, I understand" was my reply.
When we crawled into bed, I apologized to her for the transgression that earned me the upcoming punishment, much the same way I would've following the spanking had it actually been performed. I truly do feel regret when something Mistress expects from me doesn't happen. We talked a little about it and I actually said that I didn't like to be spanked. I mean, I didn't like the actual act of her pink leather paddle coming down hard on my bare ass. That part hurts. I also said that the comfort of knowing that I am to face something that I don't necessarily enjoy (the actual burning sting of that paddle), was something that am so very thankful of and that the joy and comfort I get from knowing that I will face a spanking punishment, completely eclipses any negative feeling I may have about the actual contact of the paddle on my bottom.
I've been thinking about it ever since and have come to the following conclusion. First an foremost, the very fact that my beloved wife will accept the role of my key holder, my disciplinarian, the leader of our marriage, the owner of my sex and the sole source of not my sexual pleasure, but life pleasure as well .... is very emotionally comforting and something that is very important to me. I also very much love basking in the ritual of being punished by her paddle. Being required to voluntarily present my naked body to her, in order for her ritualistically spank my naked ass while I hold still in a required position (whatever that may be), is so very important to me, as well as to Mistress K. The first time I was spanked had a element of humiliation. After that, the humiliation evolved into a source of pride and became an important, symbolic gesture of my devotion to Mistress K., every time I was spanked. Also, and just as important, the emotional cleansing that comes from being spanked as a punishment, and the subsequent emotional that come from the after care, is, well, beautiful. Mistress K. and I agree that the best thing that comes from using a harsh spanking as punishment is that it speeds the process of "wiping the slate clean" and allows us to go forward without the risk of one or both of us carrying any negative feelings forward.
Being spanked hurts, and when it is happening, I truly want it to end. But then, usually when the spanking is over, I secretly wish that it had been longer and more severe than it was ... that I had been required to put "more skin in the game" so to speak. I think this happens because as soon as it is over, the pleasure of demonstrating to Mistress that I am willing to participate in something that I don't logically want to do (spanking), is over. It's crazy, I know. It probably explains why when I read stories about submissive husband being required to consume their own cum, I always have two thoughts in my head. One is .... Gross! the other is Why do I have an erection?
At the end of the day, I am so very grateful to be subject to punishment spankings from my Mistress. I love you Mistress.
Wow. This post was so well said! I've been thinking a lot about this very subject myself lately, and couldn't have said it better myself.
ReplyDeleteEspecially this -- " I truly want it to end. But then, usually when the spanking is over, I secretly wish that it had been longer and more severe than it was ... that I had been required to put "more skin in the game" so to speak."
Couldn't have said it any better. xx
Thank you darling sister!
DeleteOMG sub hub so well put. You have a wonderful way of putting your feelings on paper. Punishment is meant to clean the slate and I feel that is why we present our bottoms and accept it. And although we want the punishment we don't want it but still when it's over wish it had lasted longer. I do hope you stay here love following your blog.
ReplyDeletearchedone
Thank you friend. I have no plans on leaving archedone. IN fact, now that I know I can post naughty, sexy, kinky pictures again, I'm thinking about taking requests. *grin
DeleteLucky man.
ReplyDeleteI agree with your feelings on spanking. When it's happening you want it to end. On the occasion when my wife has spanked or caned me, it's painful. But also refreshing. Maybe more O2 to the brain. Whatever.
Hi submanhub. Thanks for stopping by. Maybe it is the O2 to the brain, but afterward, I know I feel like my whole world has been refreshed.
DeleteInteresting that when it's over, you wish it were more severe. Have you told her that? Maybe she needs to give you more severe ones. Also interesting your reaction when think of eating cum.
ReplyDeleteFD
Thanks for stopping by FD. Nice to see you again. Hope al is well in your world. I have told Mistress that on occasion. Once she took it as an insult and another time she said she understood and said that she would rather it be too light than too heavy. We are always working to find the right balance with a goal of increasing the severity.
DeleteOn the eating cum thing, I think it has less to do with the actual act, and more to do with the notion that being required to do something so appropriately symbolic is arousing. "Skin in the game" so to speak. Another barrier to orgasm/ejaculation.
Sometimes its hard to find the right severity. Maybe spank a few times with the paddle then use something else to change the sensation on the skin
ReplyDeleteanna louie, please forgive me for not replying to your comment earlier.
DeleteYour suggestion sounds like a very good idea and because I have a long overdue punishment pending, I'm going to be telling Mistress of your advice.
hank you so much for taking the time to comment!!
In my experience, spankings in the context of loving female authority in a marriage have far more an emotional impact than a physical/kinky aspect.
ReplyDeleteI love to be spanked in a kinky context and have had a good many S/m type spankings in the many years I have been involved in such scenes; but when my wife punishes me a very different dynamic is at work.
Brevity does not permit me to go into the psycho-chemistry involved but there are important differences in reaction to a "scene" kinky spanking and a true punishment spanking in the context of loving domestic discipline.
When my wife spanks me it is usually to punish me for disobedience or for being seriously disrespectful to her. They are usually long, harsh and painful. Most often done while she is still seething over my belligerent actions. Always with a paddle or belt, and always applied to bare skin. Mostly accompanied by my tearful repentance. And always followed by loving aftercare in her arms.
When she spanks me it is breathtaking to experience not just the pain, but the power she has over me. The emotions are hard to describe but there is a very special connection made. The submissive husband's attitude is altered by his experience of that power more than the pain or dread of of the pain. Bonding chemicals are released in the brain. I am overwhelmed by the fact that my wife loves me enough to spank me harshly. The tears come not just because of the pain but largely through the intensity of emotions brought about by her making me tangibly experience her authority and power. The symbolisms involved in the spanking are more important than the actual physical pain. Of course to a male, respect and obedience is usually earned by projection of power.
In order to properly project authority to my stubborn psyche and to earn my respect, the spanking must not be a wallflower female's wimpy love taps.
The most effective spanking I recall my wife or any woman ever giving me was for tracking up her freshly mopped floor when she told me not to. The marks on my butt cheeks were visible for two weeks after. I begged and cried but she stopped only when she was satisfied that she had gotten through to me. I have never tracked up her mopped floor again. Funny, although that was an intensely painful thrashing, the memories of her anger and the intensity are what keep me in line and are what deepened my respect for my adored Mistress.
That was incredible Gaias Pet. I haven't been to the depths of emotions you describe, but I aspire to someday. Mistress and I are rather novices t this FLM lifestyle that we enjoy so much, and words like yours only help us along our journey. I totally understand what you are saying here and I am grateful that you took the time to share it. This part especially:
Delete"The submissive husband's attitude is altered by his experience of that power more than the pain or dread of of the pain. Bonding chemicals are released in the brain. I am overwhelmed by the fact that my wife loves me enough to spank me harshly. The tears come not just because of the pain but largely through the intensity of emotions brought about by her making me tangibly experience her authority and power. The symbolisms involved in the spanking are more important than the actual physical pain. Of course to a male, respect and obedience is usually earned by projection of power. "
I'd love to be able to follow your blog if you have one. You obviously have the kind of wisdom that I know We/I wold enjoy and benefit from.