I've noticed that many of my friends that have blogs in my reading list have posted in the last day or so, in some fashion, about 50 Shades of Grey. Everyone has a opinion about it and many of them are on opposite ends of the spectrum. Some are eager to see it and like it, others are eager to see it and hate it. Whatever their expectation may be, so many are eager to see it. And you know what? ... everyone's opinion about it is and will be valid.
I've made some comments in some blogs about this, but in order to try to topical, I thought I'd express my thoughts about it here too. Many people in our little community of loving Dominants and submissives/slaves have expressed disdain about the movie and how it is expected to be fraught with things that are either not true, vaguely true or sensationalized for the Hollywood effect. Myself, I don't intend to see it until it comes out on DVD/Netflix, unless of course Mistress K. tells me we are going to see it.
However inaccurate or sensationalized it might turn out to be, I see a benefit for those of us that live in the BDSM community in general. If nothing else, the movie will allow for the general public (the Vanillas as I have been calling them) to have a reason to have conversations about BDSM in general. Many of those will blush and giggle when they talk about it. Others will hold up their nose about how stupid or inaccurate it is, and still others will truly, genuinely be aroused at the prospect of a power exchange dynamic in their sex lives, even though they will likely never admit it openly. Still others will use it for fodder for innuendo in polite conversation as a way to subtly let the world (the Vanillas) know that they have either an interest in it, or experience in it, or both. I'm sure it will be a sappy, sometimes stupid attempt at being an edgy love story, but that's ok.
However it manifests itself, there will be millions of people talking about the BDSM culture, that never had a reason or occasion to talk about it before, which will bring more awareness of power exchange dynamics into the mainstream. For that reason ...... I'm looking forward to watching and wallowing in the 50 Shades mania!
Happy Valentine's Days to all you lovers out there!
Very well written. Hope the mania includes some FLM discussions as well. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you CM. I hope those FLM discussion get sucked into the conversation too. How yummy would that be? You watch, there will be lots of people that will anonymously declaring that they are submissive and then that will be followed by each of us looking around at strangers and wondering .......... are they?
DeleteThanks for stopping by and commenting. I always appreciate it when you do.
I had already decided that I wouldn't do a post about the books but I will comment. I totally agree with you...and I think it already has started discussions between people bringing this lifestyle to light for many who never knew it existed.
ReplyDeleteI read the books. I liked the first one actually. The second and third....eh...started getting bored. But I will say, the concept changed my life. My husband had ALWAYS been kinky and into BDSM. I was so far on the other end of the vanilla spectrum, it wasnt funny. I was so close minded to everything he ever wanted to try. Until I read the books and realized that maybe I was missing something.
But most importantly, I found myself upset at Anastasia for trying to change him, to force him to suppress his kinky nature. Then realized this was what I was actually doing to my own husband.
So yeah, I'm not afraid to admit, good or bad, it made me take a long hard look at myself. And make some changes, that in the end, have made us happier!
See there ........ a success story has already emerged. Very well said little girl and thank you so much for sharing it. Mistress K. read the books ... all of them and I believe she liked the first one too and got bored and she read on after that. Mistress K. and I have always enjoyed kink but I can't recall the timing so i don't know if we were in our acknowledged FLM or not. Nonetheless, she enjoyed and if she were here for me to ask, I'll bet she'd admit too that it was somewhat helpful in getting her head around the lifestyle we live now.
DeleteThanks so much for the insightful comment little girl.
For me, I liked the idea of the story, but not the quality of writing. I think there are many more books out there that are more deserving of this publicity. Having said that, I don't think it's a bad thing the movie is coming out and, I'm with you, I will wait for it to come out on Netflix.
ReplyDeleteTotally agree Misty. So many people agree that the subject matter gets the blood going but the quality of the writing was, well, meh.
DeleteThanks as always for commenting. Hope all is well in your world.
everyone's opinion about it is and will be valid - true, and something that should not be lost sight of in the coming days as the world goes super FSOG crazy.
ReplyDeleteAs for my vanilla friends, when we spoke about the film today, they will probably go and see it, at some point, but not yet. Interestingly, they brushed over the BDSM aspect (Whispered it) and the sex too, because what they seek is chemistry between the characters and romance. Yes, the books and film have become a talking point for BDSM, but perhaps not as much as we think when it comes to many who simply enjoy a different telling of an age old story - two people falling in love. I kept quiet and didn't comment other than to point out the constraints of making a film about kinky sex might make it impossible to recreate many aspects of the books.
A very good point DelFonte. I know that when I think about my own FLM, I think of it in terms of it being a love story. The desire for me to someday have our relationship be revealed has more to do with the ability to be able to demonstrate the depth of my love for my wife, and not just a kinky fantasy of having others watch me spanked or used.
DeleteExcellent comment. Thank you so much.
I wasn't going to comment either but having read some of the input above I feel compelled to out myself. I have read all the books, I actually enjoyed them, I don't know about the books value as literature as that doesn't really bother me. For me it set me on a path of discovery. I am always curious about sex and all that entails. I am an experience junkie and what was described was interesting. My journey has led me here, completely aware now that what is depicted in the books is just so far from the reality of the lifestyle. If the books or the movie is their only exposure to all of this then they will be so sadly mistaken and misguided about it all. Their understanding will end at the playroom door. In my opinion, the strength, the depth of understanding, the level communications and the closeness that exists in D/s relationships is missing from the books. I'm such a sad sap at present. DtBHC.
ReplyDelete"If the books or the movie is their only exposure to all of this then they will be so sadly mistaken and misguided about it all." Likely very true DtBHC, and if it is true, at the very least "they" will at least have had the opportunity to be more exposed to it, and for it to be a more acceptable form of love that before.
DeleteI have to say how surprised I am about the hype and reception to this movie. I read the first book and the writing was terrible. I found myself getting frustrated and yelling at the characters. That said, I agree that it brought the lifestyle out and got people talking, good, bad or indifferent. I did a post last week about the hype and intimated my disappointment with the red and white bullseye store for hanging products on a main aisle endcap where they could be easily seen by the tweens and teens. I've had conversation with so many vanilla women who are stoked to see the move, some with their girl friends and others with their men. I won't spend the money however if someone happens to have a pirated copy of it, I happen to gain access, so be it.
ReplyDeleteLike everyone that enjoys a FLM I've heard about 50 Shades. Not sure I want to see the movie or read the books also from what is said the first book is good and it goes down hill from there. I've also found that movies are not as good as the book. I'm afraid reading the book might take away from what we have. On another note the other day I asked Mistress if I could have a spanking. She reminded me that on Valentines Day I was going to be spanked no less than 3 times maybe even 4. I told her I was aware of that, then she invited me over her lap for a wonderful hand spanking. Next she had me bend over the sofa arm while she used my belt on me, it was fantastic. When I was the proper shade of red she told me it was time and she sat on the sofa with me kneeling between her legs with her feet on my shoulders. After much licking and sucking on my part she had a wonderful climax. Then to my surprise she said you have been reading on the net about orgasm denial should I refuse to let you cum tonight? I told her that yes I was reading about it but that would be up to her. She has never mentioned that before and I didn't know she was interested. Not this time she said put that wonderful thing inside of me I want another climax.
ReplyDeleteit was a wonderful evening.
Hi arechedone. That was wonderful. I'm curious, did you ask your Mistress for a spanking because you felt you need to be punished for something, or did you just want one? Along those same lines, are the expect 3 to 4 spanking you are to receive on V-Day for erotic enjoyment, or for the meting out of punishments? I didn't realize that you weren't subject to orgasm denial. So ... I have questions. Are you allowed to have orgasms whenever you want, or is it a matter of your Mistress allowing/expecting you to orgasm every time the two of you are intimate?
DeleteI asked for the spanking because I just wanted the personal touch and submissive feeling. The spankings today are for erotic enjoyment. I'm not allowed to masturbate unless she orders it and is watching. In fact all of my orgasm's are when she tells me. She has a kink where she loves to see my cum squirting from me and many times when we are having intercourse she will order me to pull out and cum on her sweet pussy lips. But at this moment from what she said I don't know if she is going to start orgasm denial that will be her choice. I know you and Mistress are not into it but R loves to put some of my cum on her finger and give it to me. I don't know what puts me deeper into sub space her feeding me or pegging me.
Deletearchedone
Sorry didn't sign my post. the above post is from archedone
ReplyDelete