Red Headed Women

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Thankful

There are so many things to be thankful for, big and small.

I am thankful to be married to a beautiful (and I do mean gorgeous), loving, thoughtful wife that enjoys owning every part of me.

This morning (the day before Thanksgiving) I am thankful that last night, Mistress K. woke me from the couch, walked me into bed and allowed me to lay my weary head on my pillow immediately after removing my clothes.  I was laying on my tummy, about to re-enter my peaceful slumber when I felt her place her leg over my legs, secure me tight with her right hand and proceed to spank my ass with her left.  An impromptu moment when she just wanted to spank me, and so she did.  Of course ....  It hurt and I begged her not to give me a hard spanking because all I wanted to do was sleep.

A hard spanking was what I got ... just because she wanted to.  Then, she ordered me to retrieve her vibrator.  After handing it to her, she instructed me to kneel beside her on the bed and masturbate while she made love to her vibrator.  It was an incredible sight, watching her build to an incredible orgasm while she watched her husband dutifully stroke his cock, and merely watch.  There is nothing better than to witness her have an orgasm, especially when she is with her electronic lover.

I am thankful that Mistress K. allows me to witness her orgasms.  Her orgasms are our orgasms and although I was not allowed to ejaculate, laying next to her in her post orgasm glow was incredible.

Thank you Mistress K. for allowing me to witness your orgasm.

You'll wear some pretty pink panties today

Every morning when Mistress leaves the house for the office, I walk her to her car, freshly poured coffee in hand, open the door for her, and watch her ease her beautiful body behind the wheel and get situated.  I hand her the coffee, than her for being my Mistress, kiss her goodbye and gently close the door for her.

This morning she rolled down the window as she began to roll backward out of the garage and she said "You'll wear pretty pink panties today".  Yes Mistress, of course was my reply.

These are the panties and they are my favorite for two reason;

1. They fit because Mistress had purchased them specifically for me
2. The thong part that rests on my bottom hole feels delicious .... all day long.

She went on to say that I was to wear panties to remind me that she owns me.   As if I need reminding ....

Masturbate for me

Mistress in the shower .... kids gone on their way to school ....  I hear, "lover, come here!"  I stand in the entrance to our walk-in shower and then I hear "Masturbate for me".

Off come my shorts and I step into the shower staying out of the water and begin to masturbate for this beautiful creature before me.  She just wanted to be entertained while she showered. 

Several Minutes later I hear "that's enough.  You may go".

Nice!

Revealed .... sort of

Recently I was out running errands and stopped by the drug store to get Mistress K. a few birthday cards.  Of course Walgreens has plenty of meaningful and lovely cards that express the depth and type of love a man has for is wife in the vanilla world.  But, they certainly don't have the kind of naughty cards that a submissive husband, who is madly in love with his Mistress Wife, could give to her on her birthday.

So, I left Walgreens and drove to an adult store called Fascinations that was conveniently on my way home.  It was about 9:15 at night.  I walked in to the sounds of young women laughing and having a giggle over something.  When they came in to view, it was clear that there 3 girls, 2 of which worked at the store and one that was either their friend, or a customer or both.  They were just 3 pals have a good time.

This chain of adult store is not the seedy, back-ally type of adult store.  It is a respectable, dare I say neighborhood friendly kind of adult store.  Very bright and well lit inside ... I think you know the type.  I was asked by one of the girls that worked there if there was anything she could help me with.  As per usual I said "no thank you" and walked deeper into the store to look for a suitable and FLM friendly birthday card that I could give to Mistress K.  Then I stopped, turned around and walked back to the group of young ladies and told the clerk "yes, you can help me.  I am looking for a card or even a small gift to give my Mistress on her birthday."  Without skipping a beat she said "OK.  Is this the you're married and you have a girlfriend kind of Mistress.  Or the dominant woman kind of Mistress?"   I simply answered "it's my wife".   Again, without missing a beat, she said "oh, good for you!".  Then she proceeded to tell me that their selection of cards was small at best and well I never did get a card that was submissive husband, Dominant wife based.

It was awesome though ... that feeling .... to stand there, in front of 3 strange young women, and openly declare that I was a submissive husband to my dominant wife.  There was no shame even though I could detect a bit of wonderment on the faces of these 3 young women.  I'm not sure if that wonderment wasn't relief that the guy who just walked past them a second ago, and now was walking up to them, wasn't trying to be creepy thinking that something sexy was going to happen with him and 3 girls in a porno store.  *smile ..... Yes, granted, it was an environment that was obviously friendly, but for me, I had never really been able to do that .... and it was awesome!

I can't wait to tell Mistress K. about it (have to wait till her birthday gets here).

Our Rules ... posted here!

In my last blog post, I mentioned I would ask Mistress K. if I could publish our rules here after we updated them and edited them.  Guess what .... she said YES, and here they are:

Rules:

GENERAL

·         M-K is the Dominant.  The s-man is the submissive.

·         These rules may be amended or modified at any time at the sole discretion of M-K.

·         S-man will be kept in constant chastity to M-K.  Such chastity is expected at all times whether it is voluntarily self-enforced, or M-K has required the s-man to wear a chastity device (lockable cage) that will prevent s-man from touching or otherwise stimulating his penis, obtaining an erection or receiving stimulation directly against penis.

·         The s-man acknowledges that his pleasure is derived from providing service and pleasure to M-K.

·         The s-man shall make every attempt to keep his body in pristine condition so as to further enhance the enjoyment of its use by M-K.  S-man shall submit to physical inspection of any part of s-man’s body, at any time, for any reason, at the request of M-K.   Any failure of s-man to keep body healthy, at the sole discretion of M-K, shall result in punishment of s-man by M-K. 

·         As a default and at all times, when M-K and s-man are securely alone (as determined by M-K), s-man shall be expected to be naked and to be kept naked even while performing normal duties and functions.  S-man shall be expected to become naked and remain so without being asked.  M-K may require s-man to wear something, anything, exclusively of M-K’s choosing, as determined solely by M-K. 

·         In normal life, during the normal course of a regular day, s-man will wear normal clothes.  M-K may require that the s-man wear something in particular under s-man’s “normal” clothes at her sole discretion as she deems appropriate.

·         All s-mans’ orgasms are owned by M-K.  If s-man is to have an orgasm, it will only be because M-K has decided to allow it.  Any such permissible orgasm for the s-man shall be achieved solely in a manner dictated by M-K.

·         S-man is required to see to it that the garage and the cars are kept cleaned and in presentable condition at all times. 

·         S-man will maintain a calm and in-control demeanor,  and work hard to not project that stress to others around him. 

·         M-K will manage and control the release of all semen as M-K deems appropriate, at her sole discretion.  Such release may or may not include orgasm, at the sole discretion of M-K.

·         S-man will be required to orgasm on demand, or conversely, may be denied an orgasm as M-K deems necessary, at her sole and absolute discretion.

·         The duration and sensitivity/roughness of s-man’s sexual performance at the pleasure of M-K is at the sole discretion of M-K. 

·         S-man’s complete body belongs exclusively to M-K.  As such, M-K has unilateral use, control and direction of s-man’s body at all times.

·         Any part of s-man’s body is available for use by M-K at any time, day or night, for any reason including sexual, visual or physical pleasure of M-K, in any way M-K determines.  S-man may be required to perform sexual acts that give direct stimulation to M-K or s-man may be required to perform sexual acts on him for the visual pleasure of M-K.  Any such acts are at the sole discretion of M-K.

·         Any sexual demand/request made of s-man by M-K will be immediately carried out without question and with enthusiasm.

·         S-man is only allowed to have an orgasm, full or ruined when given permission and under the direct supervision of M-K.  When in the presence of M-K, and when on the verge of achieving orgasm,  even a previously approved orgasm,  s-man must still ask for permission to orgasm.  S-man will only be allowed to orgasm if such permission is granted by M-K

·         S-man may not fondle, massage, stroke, rub or otherwise touch or sexually stimulate his penis (except during natural human functions and cleaning) without permission or instruction from M-K.

·         S-man may not fondle, massage, rub, enter or otherwise sexually pleasure his anus (except during natural human functions and cleaning) without permission or instruction from M-K.

·         S-man will wear any accessory or device, externally or internally, M-K deems necessary at any given time, for however long is deemed appropriate by M-K, without hesitation and without argument.  Such device may be anything that might harness or control s-man’s penis or something that may be inserted and held in s-man’s ass. 

·         Any item that may be inserted into s-man’s ass will be at the sole discretion of M-K.  Items may be inserted for a variety of reasons, such as training s-man’s ass;  as a punishment;  as a reward;  as a visual stimulation for M-K;  as a constant reminder of s-man’s dedication to M-K throughout the day;  just because M-K wants to.

·         S-man is required to communicate with M-K about any physical issues that may prevent s-man from performing his duties in the service of M-K.   

PUNISHMENT 

·         The s-man is under the exclusive authority and is the property of M-K. 

·         Finding a punishment that has the desired effect of correcting behavior, is an exercise for M-K to determine, at her sole discretion.  Such punishments shall be determined to be corrective punishment or punishment that is in direct correlation to displeasure of the s-man by M-K, at M-K’s sole and absolute discretion.

·         M-K may determine that regularly scheduled, maintenance punishments will be useful. The type, duration and severity of said maintenance shall be at the sole discretion of M-K.

Punishment may include, but are not limited to the following:  

• spanking, with or without the use of an implement such as a paddle, hair brush, wooden spoon, ruler, riding crop.  Spankings may be administered by M-K in any position she deems suitable, at her sole discretion
• Repeated intense Tease and Denial
• Longer duration of chastity
• Sleeping on floor
• Humiliation, the scope of which to be determined at the sole discretion of M-K

I would love to hear your honest thoughts, comments or questions, good or bad.  We tried hard to keep these rules as a general reference point from which to operate, and not attempt to specifically drill down into the weeds on absolutely each and every point.  That became too tedious.  Besides, at the end of the day, the REAL RULES in our lives are the ones that Mistress K. decides at any given moment.  To that end, in the absence of exceeding any hard, already agreed upon limits, I trust Mistress K. to pilot our vessel to continued and renewed happiness, and would do anything she asked/told of me.

We made it

Part of the reason for the infrequent posts here over the past 2 years or so, is that we have been super, super busy as a family.  I posted some time ago about how Mistress K. was a watching 50 Shades of Grey for the first time (I still haven't seen it), and although she though the movie was ok, she did say that while watching it, she had an epiphany.  The epiphany was that she literally had the ability, even the right to dictate what kind of comfort, happiness and pleasure would exist in her life, at least to the extent that her able-bodies, devoted, loving, collared, slave husband was able to deliver.  She also realized that l she really had to do was find the comfort in making a decision based solely on her pleasure, comfort or for her benefit.  Not only that, she realized, compelling her slave husband to do the things necessary to achieve that goal, would be an enormous source of please for him (me) as well.

That was 2-3 months ago.  On the night of the epiphany, we spoke about how we would have a "working" date night, in which Mistress K. would basically explain how our life, and our lifestyle going forward.  We would also use the occasion to review and adjust our "rules" that we outlined for ourselves in the beginning of our FLM journey.  Well, that "working" dinner took place last night!

First I'll tell you that there were no "big" changes in expectations going forward, in our relationship.  Although I didn't really expect any, on a few occasions where she did mention our upcoming meeting, Mistress K. did seem to consistently use the words "how our lifestyle would be", which in and of itself didn't mean anything in particular, but .... could've meant anything. 

What the "working date night" turned out to be was one of the most wonderful nights our my/Our lives as a FLM couple.  We had a very deep and meaningful discussion about the things we have experienced thus far in our FLM lifestyle, and how much more beneficial it has been for Mistress K. to have had the experience that she had.  She feels like her feet are on more solid ground than ever when it comes to being able to take more of a lead in our marriage, and how that will continue to be a bigger and bigger source of comfort and joy in her life.  She's always know then concept of being unilaterally able to decide on things that will make her happy.  Only recently, when the epiphany occurred, did she better understand that many of things in her life that were causing stress or even unhappiness were fully within her control to decide.  All she had to do was decide, make it happen and then feel good about doing so.  She needed to be able to let go of the subconscious anticipatory concern of how I would feel about something.  That she should be able to expect that her submissive husband would find enough comfort in whatever she decided/wanted that I wouldn't be pouty.  Even more importantly, that if I did get pouty, petulant or moody, (because after all I am human and male) that all she had to do was to tell me to stop it and 1 of 2 things would happen .... 1) I'd snap out of it and fall right into line, or  2) there would be a significantly impactful punishment that would occur and THEN I would snap out of it and fall right into line.

You see, Mistress K. has always been the one to acquiesce, to pitch in to help, to fall in behind any situation in order to help, but always in a subordinate role.  However, ever since becoming a mother ... she has become increasingly aware of the positives that come from being the one to decide.  How being in control of a situation is usually the best way to be able to help someone that needs it. 

Anyway, our "working" date was very fruitful and very, very, very much appreciated by me.  Mistress K. was most certainly in charge of that meeting and was in no way interested is allowing the conversation to be a debate or a source of poutiness by either of us.  She was determined to lay out how our life together would be led in the future, after having given it much thought over the past few months.  About 30 minutes into the "discussion", I had to stop Mistress K. and tell her that even though everything we had discussed thus far had zero to do with sex, or kinkiness or anything like that, I had to tell her I had one of the hardest erections I could muster because of how incredibly attracted to her very powerful self I was.  I've referred to it in the past as a "Love Boner".

We came to some very important conclusions that night at dinner and going forward I feel incredible happy about our future.  Mistress K. acknowledges that her happiness in our marriage is completely within her control, and even though for some that is a daunting position to be in, for my beautiful Mistress Wife it will be a piece of cake.

The last job we tackled was a revision of our "Rules".  In the beginning I was told/allowed to write down some standing rules that defined a number of things and in many ways, acted like a contract.  We've a few revisions to it over the years, but on this night, we went through each and every rule and made either kept it in tact, adjusted according to Mistress K.'s preference, or deleted in entirely.  I am tasked with putting those changes in writing on the document, at which time we (Mistress K.) will re view it, in another "working" date night.  Mistress K. will either approve the final changes or make additional changes.  We will go through this process until the "Rules" are to her liking ... for know. 

I will ask Mistress K. if I can post a copy of the Rules here when completed.

Glorious Anticipation

There are several kinds of anticipation.  There is the anticipation when you are summoned for a spanking.  The moment following being ordered to strip naked, and having to wait those few seconds or minutes in anticipation of receiving what's coming to you. 

Then there is other kind ... the kind a submissive husband gets when his gorgeous Mistress Wife informs him that he is to shave his face smooth this afternoon because he will be expected to orally service her.  I've said it before, being allowed to place my mouth on Mistress K.'s sex is such a glorious moment that I often will just sit there for a moment and relish in what I am about to be allowed to do. 

To anticipate being expected to deliver such a service hours ahead of time is just so wonderful.

Almost nervous

My wife and I are attending to an out-of-town sporting event for one of our children this weekend.  IN VEGAS! 

I'm leaving in a few minutes, she and the child will arrive tomorrow night.  I am at home, alone, now, waiting for my ride and before I got into the shower, I texted her to ask if I could ruin an orgasm while I was in the shower.  While waiting for her reply, it occurred to me, I hadn't masturbated to ejaculation without being in her presence in 5 years.  5 YEARS!  I got a little nervous, and I don't know why.

Anyway, her reply was no, but I could edge myself to "the peak", but no ruin. 

Probably for the best.

Some sex

On Saturday night, Mistress and I had returned from a lovely dinner with friends, in which we had imbibed a few adult beverages and had hours of fun conversation with our guests and each other.  It was a thoroughly enjoyable evening.  Upon arriving home, each of us had mad the comment how tired we were and that getting into bed and going to sleep to was going be great.

When we got into bed, we did a little seemingly innocent cuddling where Mistress was laying on her side, facing me and we were kissing and canoodling prior to what was going to be sleep.  Perhaps it was the way Mistress looked as she strode toward the bed, naked is the soft blue light that being given off by the TV.  She just looked gorgeous and as I often do, I began to feel grateful that this beautiful, naked woman was my Wife, my Mistress and was about to lay in her bed with me.

When she got into bed, I made a casual apology for not asking to be allowed into her bed.  Asking to be allowed into her bed is not required of me, but is a sometimes habit I have gotten into after reading about another submissive husband that IS required to obtain permission to join his Mistress in HER bed.  She giggled and told me it was ok and that yes, I had her permission to be in her bed.

When she arrived in bed, positioned her 17 pillows like she likes and then laid on her side facing me, my cock was already hard, given the feeling I was having watching her come to bed.  It was just tender, genuine loving kissing going on when she wrapped her hand around my cock.  While kissing her, I involuntarily began pumping her hand, which as it turns out, was something that inspired Mistress too instruct Mistress to allow more of this from me.  A minute or so into pumping her hand, she said "you love fucking me, don't you?", to which I replied, "more than anything Mistress". 

She positioned herself to a more comfortable position, never letting go of my now rock hard cock and said "continue".  I repositioned myself slightly so that I could properly thrust her hand, intending to fully enjoy this impromptu opportunity to bring myself to the edge in her hand and perhaps even ejaculate, or maybe even orgasm and ejaculate.  I love doing this because it allows me to feel as though I am performing for Mistress because she was motionless, gently holding onto y thrusting cock, and simply watching me. 

It seems as though she was getting aroused at what she was looking at and instructed me to get inside of her right away.  You could literally she the lust building in her and it was clear that she had every intention of having her own orgasm (or two) this evening.  There is nothing more special to me than to be allowed inside of Mistress.  Every time I am allowed inside, I am filled with a rush of gratitude and wallow in the moment of being so privileged to be there.

Even though there was plenty of hand thrusting previous to being told to enter Mistress, I was able to give her what she needed without feeling the need to inform her that I was close to cumming.  She was the epitome of gorgeous as she laid there, accepting my thrusting cock inside of her, biting her lower lip while moaning, rubbing her breasts, then finally reaching down to rub her clitoris.  It was an amazing thing to behold and with what was before me, and with all the awe and gratitude welled up inside, I all-of-a-sudden was right there at the edge of cumming.  Sensing this, and without hesitation she said "get one of my dildos".  

I hopped to it and return in record time with a nice big dildo to finish the job.  She was a wanton women, intent on "getting there" while she was full.  When she rolled to her side and pulled herself apart, I knew what to do with the "other man" I was holding in my hand.  On several occasions she was at he edge of orgasm herself but purposely held herself there.  It was one of the sexiest thing I have ever had the privilege to watch as the love of my life, my Mistress Wife, was lost in the lust of the moment.  She had an incredible orgasm that seem to last forever, as I stood there and watched in awe.

When she was done she laid there, exhausted from the workout she just had.  Given the fact that Mistress K. has been requiring orgasms for me too of late, I admit that I was hopeful that this was going to be one of those times.  We I asked her if I cold ejaculate, she softly opened her eyes and said "no cumming for you tonight".  "yes Mistress" was my response and as she rolled slightly to side to continue to recover, I went to clean her dildo. On my way back to bed from the bathroom she was walking, no stumbling toward the bathroom herself, looking like a freshly fucked, freshly satisfied woman.  She stopped so I could kiss her, then proceeded to bathroom herself while I put her rubber lover back in its place.

Even though I was denied an orgasm, even a ruined orgasm, I was awash in a feeling of gratitude, arousal and love for Mistress K.  It was unbelievable ..........

Getting caught up with each other

In a previous post here, I talked about some changes that were coming in our direction.  The extent and details of those changes was, at the time, remain-to-be-seen.  Last night Mistress and I had what a kind of late dinner opportunity.  We went to a lovely little restaurant, got little table outside ( the weather was Phoenix spectacular!!!) and we proceeded to talk about how things in our marriage were going. 

The details of our conversation were private and frankly, boring for the rest of you, but suffice it to say we did speak about two things that weren't urgent, but did command some attention.  In the previous referenced above, Mistress K. has spoken of changes that she would like to she in her "way of life", her "lifestyle".  We were able to talk a little about that and add some clarity. It seems that while watching 50 Shades of Grey recently (for the first time.  I still haven't seen it), Mistress K. had an epiphany.  It became clear(er) to her that the happiness and pleasure in life she seeks is, well, in her very hands.  I don't know what scene(s) or what context, but hearing those words from her where a dream come true .  I knew and we both talked about the transition that Mistress K. would have to make from being happily dutiful in her marriage, to being able to actually demand, expect and command the kind of pleasure and happiness in every moment of her life.  I believe we are in for a new chapter in our marriage and life together.  One filled with an even increased level of respect, joy, unquestioned love for each other, and a true understanding of the simple notion that me being in dutiful service to her, controlled by her, disciplined and trained by her, owned by her ..... is something that can truly be a source of happiness for me.  Her comfort in that knowledge I believe swings open the door of joy and pleasure in life that Mistress K. has yet to be able to experience.

The other thing we talked about was a lovely local FLR couple that we are currently in consideration and discussions to meet.  You may recall that in a different recent blog post here, I told Mistress K. that I wished we had actual real-life, FLM friends that we actually enjoyed because they were cool people and not just because we shared this thing in common.  She agreed that it would wonderful for us to be able to "be ourselves" in the presences of others ... in a way that we certainly cannot do in our vanilla lives.  Well .... a very nice man, a submissive husband in his own right, in a marriage that is very similar to the one Mistress K. and I enjoy, made an initial contact to let us know that they lived locally, had a pretty good idea that given the opportunity we could all mesh very well, and offered to begin a conversation about perhaps meeting and see if we all hit it off.  All with one goal in mind ... the genuine desire to meet and approval of the idea fro our respective wives.  Promising but like everything else, we'll see how it goes.

I'm excited about the future and where Mistress K. will led us to.  Should I be nervous too?  Not if I love my Wife like I say I do.

Benevolent Wife

As some of you may already know, I have a standing command that I am to wear a glass butt plug every Tuesday.  Without being told, without being reminded.  As such, Tuesday's are mostly my favorite day of the week.

This morning, on a lark, I asked Mistress K. if I could wear my plug again today (Thursday).  My beloved, benevolent Mistress said yes!

So, here I am naked, about to get dressed for the day.  A second after hitting "publish" on this post, I will retreat to my closet, retrieve my plug and a bottle of trusty lube, and then relish in the small ceremony of inserting my plug.  I enjoy that small ceremony because each time I insert it, and throughout the day while I am wearing it, my mind is laser focused on the beauty and grace of Mistress K.  Wearing a plug all day causes my mind to wander at times.  It wanders to a place of vivid fantasy and desire.

This week, Thursday is my second favorite day of the week.

Having friends in the lifestyle

Last night Mistress K. and I had a rare opportunity to relax.  Mistress K. was sitting at the counter of the kitchen, enjoying a glass of wine (or two) while watching me prepare dinner.  It was a lovely.  We talked about everything an nothing .... just catching up.  We talked a little about something Mistress K. had said over the last week and that was she intended for us to review and replace our list of rules that we developed in the very beginning of our dynamic.  She believes that she has a much broader scope of what it means and takes to be a Mistress Wife in Female led marriage.  I asked her what she had in mind, and were there things in our current contract that she didn't like, or wanted to add.  She said "yes" but she didn't know exactly what those things might be and that we would develop this new agreement over time.  You see, she didn't want to find herself under the pressure of another unnecessary deadline to get something done and wanted to wait to really consider making changes once the kids were done with school.  So we would be developing our new agreement then.

Also during the discussion I made mention that I often wished that we had friends that were not only aware of our lifestyle, but also led the lifestyle we lead.  She immediately agreed that it would be wonderful to have friends that we actually enjoyed on a level that wasn't just having a FLM in common.  It would be nice to be able to speak openly and freely about the dynamics that each couple had in common.  I hope to make that happen someday.  I know that I thoroughly enjoy hearing about the time that other FLM couples spend together.  It must be a very freeing feeling.

Hello again world ........

It's funny how life is.  You wake up one morning and realize ... het, this is how my life is.  Hopefully, in the days weeks, hours, years leading up to that point, you've had enough courage and wisdom to lead it into a direction that you know will make your soul happy.   No ... I'm not setting you up for a big dramatic announcement about anything bad ..... there is nothing bad.  It's just life and for Mistress K. and I, life continues to be good.

 Life is good in my mind because I still have the same type and amount of deep admiration, respect, love and lust for my beloved Mistress Wife.  As we make our way through everyday life, our kids are getting older (14 and 16) and we really enjoying these years with them.  I stop on occasion and look at my life and realize what an incredibly lucky man I am to be with this beautiful redheaded woman, who is the sweetest, kindest person toe everyone she knows and meets, who is the greatest mother in the world, who is the sexiest female I have ever seen or fantasized about, and ............. this woman is also the same woman that owns my heart, my soul, my body and everything on my body and controls every amount of sexual pleasure that I am allowed to receive ... from a single source .... her.

I know Mistress K. in happy and content in her life because of the way she genuinely will stop me from time to time and let me know how much she loves her life.  She loves how comfortable she is in life, how much she loves her family, her children, her husband, her friends ............. Everything. 

About 6 months or so ago, she became aware that she had waaaaay too much on her plate in terms of outside volunteer activities.  PTA, club sports administration, work, ...... everything.  Since then she realized that she needed to shed those volunteer obligations in favor of concentrating on her life at home, her family and to the leadership in our marriage, which she feels to needs to maintain a clearer focus on the path, the journey and the destination that she and I will travel in our FLM.  She has said recently that she has had a epiphany as to where it is she wants to be, what she wants to do and a "way of life" that she wants to life.  She has told me she will be focusing more on getting us there. 

I didn't use the occasion to ask her what she meant, or for clarity.  I purposely held back on my instinctive desire to press her for details.  To ask her what that.  To try to "help" her by giving advice (essentially steering her in a direction I might decide she wants to go - or topping form the bottom).  She was confident and determined in her resolve and had informed me that our "way of life" would be changing.  When I mentioned that that terminology she used made me a little nervous, she replied simply by saying "nothing but good my pet.  If it makes me happy, then it will make you happy, right?".  And she's absolutely right.  I replied (by text because I was traveling on business) with "led me to what you want, wherever you want, and I will follow". 

Since, Mistress has made a number of comments about how things for us will be changing .... What will it be?  What will it look like?  Will she be establishing new boundaries in our marriage?  I don't know .... but I do know that as long as she is leading me, I will follow.

Unexpected Subspace

Saturday night I was unexpectedly put into a world that full of joy, full of wonderment, full of unbridled passion for my beloved Wife.  We were supposed to go to see a concert.  That concert was cancelled.  We also were going to join friends for dinner prior to the concert and we all decided to go to dinner anyway.  The concert was going to start at 7, which is why our dinner reservation was at 5pm.  Kind of early normally for dinner out, but it was what it was.

We had a lovely dinner.  The cocktails (me) and wine (Mistress K.) flowed and we had a great time.  Having made initial arrangements for the kids to be elsewhere, we found ourselves alone in our absolutely favorite places .... home.  After saying goodbye to the friends that dropped us off (too many cocktails and too much wine) we went to the closet to change into more comfortable clothes.  Well more comfortable clothes for Mistress K. and zero clothes for me, which is our standing rule when we are alone at home.  When we entered the closet, Mistress K. was emboldened by the wine she was drinking and she was RANDY!  She started to remove my clothes by unbuttoning my shirt.  She made a comment about how she was going to need to remove the abundance of gray hair that had formed on my chest.  With my shirt unbuttoned, she unbuckled my pants and pulled them down to reveal that I was not wearing any underwear.  She was horny and playful and made a comment about how I failed to ask permission to go out without underwear.  I commented on how that was never something I had to ask permission for in the past, to which she replied "well it is now, and you are in violation!" 

She instructed me to "become naked, now!"  I quickly removed the rest of my clothes and stood before her, naked and waiting for further instructions.  I don't know why (maybe it was because she was on her period), but I mistakenly thought that this was going to be one of those time where Mistress K. wanted to pleasure me, like in kneeling before me and sucking my cock.  Instead she just started stroking me.  Having had a few cocktails, I was able to last quite a long time before letting her know that I was near cumming.  She enjoyed that.  When I was near cumming she stopped stroking, turned me around to face the wall and hand me stretch my arms as high as I cold on the wall, and she started spanking me with her hand.  Again, feeling emboldened by the wine, she was spanking harder than usual and loving every second of it.  In just a few minutes I was squirming at the sting that was landing on my bare ass.  She stopped and told me to turn around and then proceeded to stoke my cock (again for a good long time) to the very edge of cumming.  Even when I warned her I was close she was adamant that was not allowed to cum, yet she continued to apply the strokes.  I figured this was one of those times that she was going to force me to disobey her prohibition of an orgasm/ejaculation and therefore be subject to punishment.  It wasn't going to be that either!

She stopped in the nick of time and I was left panting having narrowly avoiding an unauthorized ejaculation ... forced upon or not.  She ordered me to turn back around, resume the previous position and continued to spank me HARD.  I hurt, but I could tell she was enjoying it very much so I did my best to endure the sting for as long as I could.  She repeated the cycle of edging and denial and spanking harshly a few more times.  The last time I was turned and facing the wall, I was legitimately begging for her to go easy on me.  She didn't.  She reached for one of my belts that was hanging nearby and gave me a spanking to remember.  Shit ... it hurt.  I was begging and frankly was getting to the point where I was going to demonstrate tears for her, which I secretly think she aspires to one day.

After a thorough thrashing of my poor bare bottom, she grabbed me by my hair and pulled into the bedroom and shoved me on the bed.  She climbed on the bed (now naked) and laid before me, legs spread.  I went to move toward her and she said "Uh uh!  Get my vibrator!  Make me cum!"  Of course I retrieved her vibrator, turned it on high and handed it to her.  She told me to be the one that held it and as I was placing it on her pussy and clit, she started stroking me again.  Long story short (too late, I know) she had one massive orgasm.  She was teetering on the edge for several minutes but when I took a fistful of hair on the side of her head, she let loose and had the most incredible orgasm.  It was awesome.

I begged her to allow me to cum ..... "No, pet, not tonight".  Please please, please Mistress, may I least have a ruined orgasm?  "No pet, not tonight and I am not going to say it again".  She told me to put the vibrator away and it was time for me to spoon her so she could go to sleep.  I put the vibrator away and snuggled up behind her, holding her warm, delicious body until felt her go to sleep.  I remember laying there thinking what a lucky man I was to be completely and utterly owned by this gorgeous, wonderful woman.  I slept like a baby even though my ass was still on fire!!!

I woke up the next morning and fiddled on the computer for a while.  When I heard she was awake, I went right into the bedroom, knelt before, wrapped my arms around her legs and ass and laid my head on her tummy, thanking her profusely for three things ......... For my spanking. For intense tease and denial and for allowing me to witness have an enormous orgasm.   She rubbed my head and simply told me that she loved me.  I then thanked her for two more things .... For being my loving Mistress Wife and for taking me to such a deep level of genuine supspace.

It's been on my mind all week

Earlier this week, something very innocuous happen that, at the time, I did not know would occupy so much of my conscious mental thought.  I was asked a very simple, very easy, very logical question by a "friend" on Fetlife.

Sidebar: 

If you are reading this and also happen to be a member of Fetlife, please do look me up and say hello.  Every time I discover the Fetlife profile of one of my dear blogger friends, I get excited.  It's fun.  Do look me up ..... my screenname there is     subhubphx

Anyway, the question was "If you could orgasm in any way you wanted, in any scene(ario) you wanted, without restriction normally placed on you as a submissive husband, and without fear of judgement, ridicule, unwanted humiliation, etc. ..... what would it be?"

Seems like a simple oft asked question right?  I replied to the friend and said I'd need to think about that and get back to him.  That was Monday.  Today is Saturday and even though I have thought about it A LOT since Monday, I still haven't fully decided what my dream scene would be. 

Each of the ones I thought of were exciting to think about for different reasons.  There taboo things (that I probably won't get into cuz I'm shy ... 😎, there were scenes where I could picture Mistress having a pretty female slave in her stable, you know, pretty much anything and everything I could think about.  I enjoy fantasizing.  I enjoy it very much.  In fact, I truly believe the enjoyment I have had fantasizing freely has led me to the most precious thing in my life .... my family.  So I've always allowed myself to fantasize without shame, guilt or other negative emotions that some people attach to kinky thoughts.

I've narrowed it down to the top 5 "Most desired scenario in which to achieve a full, long, orgasm".  In descending order they are as follows:

5. 

Several hours long tease and denial session where being given the command to fully cum at the end, after being told and convinced that there would be no cumming.

4.  

Being fucked simultaneously with Mistress K.  We have a double headed glass dildo.  We've had it for about two years ... and we haven't used it  .... yet

3. 

Riding Mistress K.'s thigh harnessed strap on until I have achieved a true anal orgasm without stimulation to my cock.  Being in that position, facing my beautiful Mistress while fucking myself with total abandon would be (is) awesome.

2. 

OK, this requires a few words to explain.  Mistress K. has just launched the first meeting of a newly discovered talent ... mentoring other wannabe Dominant Wives.   There are 5-6 women listening to her wax eloquent about the finer points of happiness that can be achieved in a loving FLM/FLR.  I am kept naked and serve as the domestic help for the "party.  Taking coats when guests arrive, serving drinks and food, generally attending to the needs of Mistress and her guests.  Mistress calls me into the room to demonstrate some things, none of which I am prepared for.  She instructs me to masturbate myself to the edge of orgasm 5 times, in order for the soon-to-be dominant wives to witness a self-induced tease and denial.  On my 4th attempt to reach the edge I fail, and go over the edge.  Knowing that I am not able to prevent ejaculation, I stop all stimulation and 4-5- seconds later I proceed with my involuntary, absolutely unauthorized ruined-orgasm as my seed spills all over wood floor beneath me.  I look at Mistress Sheepishly and glares at me for a moment and like true professional, tells the attendees "Ladies, our demonstration will be taking a new direction.  AS you can see, my husband was careless enough to allow ejaculation to happen without first having asked for and receiving permission to do so.  In our marriage, his ejaculations are owned by, are very sacred and my never be taken without authorization.  You will get a bonus demonstration on what happens when your husband disappoints". 

She orders me to retrieve her leather paddle from our bedroom.  While I'm gone I hear one of the students ask Mistress K., "isn't he supposed to clean that up with tongue?", pointing to my mess on the floor.  Mistress K. replies, if that's what you want from your husband dear, then yes, that is what he is supposed to do.  I haven't yet found the desire to have my husband do that.  Perhaps someday, but not today. 

I return with the addle and Mistress gives me the hardest spanking I have ever received from her.  Partly because I reflected poorly upon her by not being able to control my ejaculation, and partly because Mistress had an audience of eager, young, inexperienced wives, and she wanted to impress.

When my hard, hard spanking was complete, Mistress ordered me to turn around and face her and her guests.  She stood and walked toward me, explaining to her guests that there still another "bonus" feature that would be demonstrated as a result of my failure to comply with her rules.  The "benefits of ruined orgasms and why they should be the overwhelmingly preferred method of orgasm for a submissive husband."  She went on to ask the ladies, "how many of your husbands currently lose all interest in sex after the have cum?"  Every hand gets raised.  "During this time of lack of interest, how many of your husbands fail to demonstrate their desire for you, as if they somehow have a reason (excuse) to not have to show you affection and desire.  Again, every hand gets raised.

Mistress continued on .... "Ladies, my husband is in a nearly constant state of desire and as such, I am able to enjoy the kind of affection and desire from the man I love most in this world.  I believe, no, I know that the source of this constant of desire is the orgasm control we practice.  Last year my husband was allowed only 5 orgasms all year.  Yet he will tell you that his sex life has never been better in his entire life.  Right honey?"  Yes Mistress.

"The last thing I want to demonstrate to you ladies that most men are able and eager for sex immediately following a ruined orgasm.  Let me demonstrate.  Pet, please get up on the kitchen table and lay on your back."  Mistress pulls out a chair and scoots her seat closer toward my re-hardening cock between my spread legs.  "see ladies, it's hard again and this man just had an ejaculation 10 minutes ago".  In a show of affection, Mistress kisses my cock then proceeds to stroke my cock firmly and lustfully until I explode with a full on orgasm.  After giving me only 15 seconds or so to recover, Mistress instructs me to "clean up my messes and see if any of our guests need anything for the rest of the presentation".  I resume my domestic duties role for the remainder of the evening.

1. 

There will never be anything more beautiful for me than to be in this intimate loving position while making love with my wife.  I remember the first time I was lucky enough to be able to make love to this beautiful creature that is now my Mistress Wife.  That first time, I remember the joy I felt, the rapture of doing something so intimate, so beautiful with this gorgeous woman, that I knew then and there that I loved this woman and wanted to spend the rest of my life her.  Now, every time Mistress allows me the honor of entering her body with my penis, I feel the exact same way.  I love you with everything I have Mistress K.!!

A peek into the future

Yesterday was a glorious day.  Mistress K. and I had a rare day all to ourselves while our kids were out for several hours.  Nothing "special" happened.  There was no uber exciting sexual activity.  It was a simple matter of being able to get a taste of what our daily home life will be like when we are empty nesters.

After the kids left, I began to remove my clothes to comply with out standing rule that I always be naked in her presence.  Mistress said "why don't you wait about 20 minutes so we can be sure that kids won't have to come back for something."  "Yes Mistress" was my instant and natural reply.

20 minutes later, I removed my clothes and presented myself to her as she sat on the couch indulging in a little binge-watching of her favorite Netflix show.  She had me kneel before her and gently placed a kiss on my forehead and told me that she loved me.  Then she said she would like me to make her some breakfast, which I did.  It was "delicious" she said.  "Thank you pet", she said.

For the next 5 hours I went about my business futzing around the house, taking care of some small chores, filling her coffee cup when it got empty and just being our regular selves.  It was just so natural.  being naked while she relaxed in her PJ's and watched her show.  Every so often she would summon me to the back of the couch and would ask me to place my cock and balls in her upturned hand and rest it there for a few moments while she gently kneaded my balls in her hand. 

The entire time, although we both were keenly aware (and appreciative) that I was dutifully naked in her presence, it was all just so natural.  As if this is how our private time together should always be.  It was just so wonderful.

This morning, as I stand naked at the kitchen sink, looking outside at the beautiful Arizona weather, Mistress on her way to the office, the kids in school, butt plug firmly in it's every-Tuesday place, I couldn't help but smile and greatly appreciate what I have it.  What a wonderful existence I am blessed to have.  The phone rings and it is mistress on the other end.  She just wanted to call and tell me how grateful she is that we have this life together and how much she enjoyed having me in my "natural state" for those 5 hours yesterday. 

Life is good!

The source of happiness in a Wife Led Marriage

I came across this captioned picture.  Normally I think captioned pictures are generally lame or overly porn-like.  This particular picture, and more particularly the caption, captures the essence of what makes my FLM (and I suspect many, many others) a happy, loving union.

This accurately describes our life together before my submission was accepted by my Wife.  The numbers at the end of the caption aren't exactly accurate for us in that I was only allowed 5 orgasms all of last year, and 4 orgasms the year before that.  That being said, I have never been so happy with my sex life with the woman I cherish more than any other.  I DO worship the ground she walks on!

Thank you so very much Mistress K. for accepting my submission, for owning my sex and most of all my orgasms.  I cherish the collar you have placed on me.

Denial is the most intimate form of affection

To a submissive husband in a loving Female Led Marriage, it very well may be.

Replace the words "unlock you" with the words "allow you to", and the above picture is spot on

Don't worry, I won't even try to explain why that is the case, because it defies logic.  Suffice it to say that the unmitigated lustful joy and pleasure that comes from being constantly brought to the edge of orgasm the most beautiful female human you have ever seen, and whom you love desperately, and then having her deny you an orgasm, brings me to a place of devotion and obedience and indescribable bliss.  I suppose that the biggest reason for this phenomenon is the existing knowledge of the undying lust that lives in your gut going forward.  It's what experienced gets you.  A direct contrast to the empty, lost and lonely feeling that was always associated with the post orgasm period during the days when I was allowed to orgasm whenever I wanted to.

Last night  ............  We were watching news stories that followed the day of inauguration events, cocktails in hand.  We marveled at the stark contrast between the words, tone and scope of what was being reported as "news".   Oh well, no political rants here  .... that's what Facebook is for, right? 

Around 10pm, the effects of the vodka were making me sleepy, so I asked permission to go to bed, kissed my Mistress goodnight and slipped naked between the cold sheets.  I was asleep in no time.  I was awakened from my deep slumber by feeling Mistress K. climb into bed with me.  That always brings a smile to my face when I am awakened by feeling her get into bed for two reasons .... First, because I feel a true sense of gratitude and honor that Mistress K. allows me to occupy her bed.  (Sidebar:  I used to ask permission to enter her bed but don't anymore.  I don't know why that is.  I need to remember to ask permission every night before I enter her bed).  The other reason is the satisfied feeling my soul feels knowing that this creature has chosen me to be in her life.  ME!  She chose me!  How fucking lucky am I? 

There is always a few seconds of anticipation between the moment I feel her slide into bed, and when she will invariably kiss me goodnight or otherwise make contact with my body.  I am always so excited and honored whenever it is Mistress will enter the bed naked.  What an incredible feeling it to press my always naked body to hers. 

Back to last night ..... She slide quickly into bed I quickly discovered she was clothed in her pj's.  Not sexy pj's.  Warm pj's.  The small disappointment was quickly replaced by her warm hand lovingly rubbing my naked bottom, while she was  nuzzling my neck and whispering loving words into my ear.  My moans of delight let her know how much I loved the feeling she was allowing me to have.  Soon I was writhing.  Raising my ass off the bed, trying to chase the fingers she was teasingly running over my rear hole, and my cock and balls from behind. 

After a few minutes of that, I had recalled a recent comment by Mistress K. that there are occasional times that she wished I would not concern myself with obtain permission to engage her sexually, and to just initiate it.  She told me that I might be surprised as to how that might turn out.  Of course it would depend solely on her mood at that moment, and of course I would be subject to whatever her reaction to an aggressive sexual move on my part would be (I'd be fucking her hard, long and deep .... or I'd be getting spanked for thinking it was my place attempt to force sex on her without permission).

"This is one of those times when she wants to discretely give me control", I thought to myself.  So, I rose from the bed to my knees.  I pulled the sheets covers off of her and I said "I'm going to fuck you now, and your going to enjoy it!"  She grabbed my cock and starting stroking it.  I'm thinking to myself .... "YES", I'm about to be able to fuck my beautiful Mistress like the occasional fuck toy she wants to be.  When I began to forcibly remove her pj bottoms, she stopped and said "NO!".  She continued to lay on her back, legs spread, me naked and kneeling between them, and she resume stroking my cock.  She continue stroking my cock for a long time  (ok, 5 minutes, but that's a long time when such she is doing it fast and with an obvious intent to move in the direction of an orgasm for (be it actual, ruined, or denied). 

After being first brought to the edge, I told her I was going to cum and she said, "no you won't, because you'll be in trouble, but she kept stroking.  I was forced with having to decide whether or not it was her way of forcing a ruined orgasm upon me, or her way of testing my resolve to not ejaculate without permission.  I chose not to risk the unbelievable pain associated with being punished for ejaculating without permission, and pulled away from her hand.  She then said, "when you have recovered a little, you will fuck my hand again", as she held her hand in a semi-fist like state on her pj covered belly.  After a minute or so, I put my cock into her hand as if I were guiding it into her luscious pussy, and began humping her hand.  While do that, Mistress said that I was to continue fucking her hand to "as close to the very edge that you can get without going over, then you will rest, then you will do it again, and again, and again.

This went on for 30-45 minutes.  Toward the end I succumbed to my carnal desires and began to beg Mistress to allow me to cum.  Begging and begging.  Even though she loves it when I beg, and sometimes begging works, such was not the case last night.  I changed my tactic and then began to beg NOT for an orgasm, not even a ruined-orgasm, but rather the less-satisfying sounding "authorized ejaculation".  She instructed me to stop fucking her closed hand, looked me in the eye and said, "there will be nothing of the sort for you this night.  Do you understand?"  "Yes Mistress", I said.  She then said "good, now resume fucking my hand"

It was one of those unbelievable, unexplainable deep emotional moments where I feel every ounce of gratitude for my Mistress and for her decision to own me.  A short time later she grew tired of indulging me and simply pulled her hand off of my cock while I was humping it,  rolled over and informed me that she was tired and was going to sleep.  The delicious conflict of absolute peak of sexual desire, accompanied with absolute knowledge that such desire will be unsatisfied was coursing through my body as laid down behind Mistress K. spooned her close, held her tight and tried to drift off to sleep in spite of rock hard and throbbing erection. After about 45 minutes I think is when I was finally able to drift off to sleep, but not before having asked Mistress K. how awesome it must be to be the complete and utter owner of someone else' sex.  In her near-sleep state, she smiled, reached back and hugged me and whispered "YES" into her pillow. 

As I write this, it's 8am on Saturday and all I can do is wait with great anticipation for Mistress to awaken so that I can deliver her coffee, smell her first-thing-in-the-morning face and remind how much I am devoted to her.  How intimate is that?

Women

"I think women are foolish to pretend they are equal to men.  They are far superior and always have been. Whatever you give a woman, she will make it greater.  If you give her sperm, she will give you a baby.  If you give her a house, she will give you a home.  If you give her groceries, she will give you a meal.  If you give her a smile, she will give you her heart.  She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.  So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit"

-  William Golding, British Novelist

Especially redheads!

Consumatted

There are things that ramble through the mind of someone like me.  An alpha male that is dominant in every aspect of his life ... except for one, and we all know what that one thing is.  The constant contrast between the two worlds that I exist in is glorious.  I love existing in each and I love "growing" in each.

One of my absolute favorite sexual activities is anal sex, both giving and receiving.  The primal nature is, well ............  RAWR!  I can't fully explain why I enjoy giving anal sex to my wife on the rare occasions that I am allowed to, except to say that it is among the most primal, intimate sexual acts that there is.  The arched back ... the deep sexual desire that is evident on her face ... the delicious struggle between a brief moment of slight pain followed by unbridled lust. When Mistress K. is in the kind of mood necessary for her to have anal sex, holy fuck .... she is an absolute sexual animal and without question there is nothing on this planet more exciting to see and be a part of than that for me.

I can explain why I enjoy receiving it so much (again, on the rare occasions that I am allowed to).  One reason, of course, is that we men have this little button in there called the prostate.  That's easy.  There other is I guess the same feeling that a girl would have being penetrated by someone that she loves very much. 

Long time readers know that Mistress K. and I renewed our original marriage vows on our 15th wedding anniversary and used the occasion to formalize our deeply loving Female Led Marriage .... and it was marvelous.  You can read about by cruising through previous posts if you are interested.  On that evening and since, I had hoped that we would consummate those new vows (our new marriage if you will) in much the same way that a traditional marriage is consummated ..... penetrative sex.  That was just over two years ago until 1 week ago, that penetrative consummation never took place, and when it did, I exhaled, even confessing to Mistress K. that it was the final element that I needed physically and mentally in our existing roles.

I won't go into the real intimate details of how she took me anally, but I will tell you that it was as beautiful a moment as I have experienced in our marriage.  It was love making and it was beautiful. 

As deep and glorious and safe of a level of subspace as I have ever experienced.  She was marvelous.  She was masterful.  She was as beautiful and loving and dominant as I have felt her to be and our love making was glorious that night.  I don't mind admitting that with her, I absolutely do love feeling like a wanton (and wanted) slut, and on this night, it was the pinnacle of that feeling.  Thank you so much Mistress K.  I sincerely do hope that it was a pleasurable enough experience for you to want to do it again.