Men do need discipline. I realize that not everybody in the FLR/WLM world believes in or practices spanking of the male by the Dominant Female. That's cool. But among those that do, what are your thoughts on maintenance spanking? You know, the kind of spanking that perhaps happens regularly as a not-so-subtle reminder of what is in store if disappointment of the Mistress should happen, for whatever reason.
Should maintenance spanking be the kind that is really kind of not fun?
Should it be the kind that is memorable but maybe not as severe as a punishment spanking?
Mistress K. and I have talked recently about implementing maintenance spanking in our house but just haven't yet. We both realize that it does require some physical effort on her part, which isn't something she want to do at a given moment. She is contemplating whether or not the effort is worth the benefit.
Please do share your thoughts and experience about maintenance spankings. I'd love to be able to provide Mistress K. with feedback she can use while she contemplates.
Have a great weekend everyone, and thank you for stopping by.
We used to do maintenance spankings way back when lol. Often, I wouldn't really want it at the time and may have been known to sulk a little, but it happened regardless.
ReplyDeleteAt one point it was always accompanied by naked kneeling. Rick would always talk first, what he was happy with, what he wasn't etc and reinforce our roles verbally. Then onto the spanking. It was enough to definitely make an impression, but not overly harsh. Emotionally it was always an intimate moment with hugs etc afterwards, but no sex, that would come later:)
I would say for us it did make us feel closer and more intimate and did work to remind us of our roles well.
Hugs
Roz
Thanks so much Roz for such an intimate view inside your life. I tend to agree with your summation of the benefits of maintenance spankings. It appears as though Mistress K. is leaning in that direction as well and has more and more default to using our reflection time together, be it our Sunday morning "readings", or other more impromptu opportunities to reflect on our relationship and lifestyle. Why just last night for example ... she gave implicit instructions for me to showered, naked and collared when she returned home from the office. She walked into the house and was firmly in a decidedly dominant mood. Being naked and wearing only my cage and wedding collar and not knowing how this night would play out, I was well into subspace when she walked in the door. Although she didn't declare it a maintenance spanking, she emerged from the closet in a comfortable yet still sexy nightie and the device that goes over the top of the door that secures my cuffed wrists to it, and her riding crop. Once strapped to the door, she proceeded to spank me with her crop over quite a long time. Like 45 minutes. All the while talking about things that served to better define her expectations of my behavior, although not as punishment for anything I did or didn't do. I felt it! I felt it a lot! Being strapped to the door, I wasn't able to see her the entire time behind me the entire time. I could hear her wine glass clink on the table when she would set it down after taking a drink in between her using the crop on me. Then she teased me with her vibrator and while doing so had me reaffirm that my body belonged to her. It wasn't my cock and balls, it wasn't my ass and bottom hole ... they were all hers to use (or not) as she pleased. When she felt she had enough pleasure on her cock, balls and ass, she used the vibrator on herself and had a massive orgasm. All of which I was only able to hear and not witness. When she was finished, she came over to me, kissed me lovingly, remove my wrists from the door hanger and said "Put these things away, pour me another glass of wine and meet me on the couch. The dinner I ordered will be here in a few minutes." After that, we watched a movie and then went to bed. It was an amazing night.
DeleteI live in a 24/7, FLR, with DD household. I am a strong proponent of maintenance spankings. At the beginning of our relationship, over 12 years ago, we did not employ maintenance spankings. During my training as HER submissive and learning the ways of this new Dominant Mistress, I was spanked very often and quite effectively. As the first years ground past, I learned, her ways, her likes and dislikes, the way she wanted her submissive to behave and act and be molded into the submissive she could be proud of. As I learned and developed into what she desired, discipline and punishment spankings diminished. A few more years and they tapered off to nearly non-existence. We both knew something had to be done and we made the adjustment. Originally called 'reminder' spankings, administered occasionally. She mentioned once how well I was maintaining my behavior with the reminder spankings. That changed the way we referred to them and felt a more regimented schedule was needed. Our lives were to busy to try an anchor one day for maintenance. We tried an 'as she felt they were needed' method, but soon realized how quickly time slipped by between spankings. We fashioned a random method of scheduling the maintenance sessions. After each spanking, I tossed a single die. We added '1' to the number shown on the die, which became the number of days until the next spanking was due. This insured spankings would never be on consecutive days or ever more than seven days apart. Sure, sometimes life still gets in the way, so in those occurrences, we merely move the session to the next day. This has worked well for us for several years now.
ReplyDeleteOn to the actual spanking. I have heard the arguments like, why spank someone for not doing anything wrong, they are not needed, they are not discipline oriented. etc. Valid points in some relationships. Here, we are serious about our maintenance program. Spankings are long and quite firm, but still not equal to an actual punishment spanking, which still occur as she deems necessary. Our program may not work for everyone, as all relationships/marriages are different. A regimented maintenance program, with effective spankings, not only saved our relationship, but has become the backbone of it.
Hello again, Cowboy here using the reply section to add a bit more about our maintenance program. Maintenance differs from punishment in many ways. The most visible difference is with a punishment, there is no warm up, no safe word and no after care, as is present during a maintenance session. Our maintenance spankings were to accomplish 3 factors.
Delete1. To keep me mindful of who is in charge and my role as submissive in this relationship.
2. To serve as a reminder as to what lies in store for and rule breakage or poor behavior.
3. To act as a catch all for any minor infractions which may not have warranted a full punishment spanking at the time.
Thanks so much Spanked Cowboy. I'm using the reply section to reply. Ha ha.
DeleteI completely understand your entire story as well as your reasons for why you employ maintenance spankings in your relationship. I agree with those as well. Thank you so much for taking the time with a such a thoughtful comment!
I am a sissy submissive to wife and her mother, and am subject to spanking discipline whenever they feel it is necessary. It is usually administered by MIL since wife enjoys watching her spank me. I receive a maintenance spanking every other Thursday at 6pm. The maintenance spankings differ from punishment spankings in the severity and duration. MIL starts with her hairbrush and then moves on to the strap. When she finished I am a crying, well spanked sissy submissive, who knows "his" place in the relationship. We all firmly believe that these maintenance spankings are necessary and enjoyable, at least for wife and MIL.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for stopping and telling that wonderful story. Although not a sissy here, the aspects and benefits are fully understood. Mistress K. has only very rarely ever taken me to tears with her punishments and when she did, I was especially deserving.
DeleteWell, because I'm such a terrific FLR husband, if we didn't do maintenance spankings, they'd be rare in our home.
ReplyDeleteWhich would be a shame, because they provide so many benefits for us both. When I strip and submit to her punishment, it reconnects us and reestablishes our roles in the FLR, and keeps domestic discipline as a real and frequent element of our marriage.
Maintenance spankings are generally brief, but long enough for her authority to be very real to me! (10 to 25 swats)
We'll also use them to try out new implements and revisit our favorite rooms and positions. Every couple should try!
CK
Thanks CK. This is very similar to how I suspect we will end up. Like you, I have become a very well-trained husband and although not perfect by any means, I rarely deserve a true punishment spanking.
Delete"When I strip and submit to her punishment, it reconnects us and ...." There is something very intimate and loving about this part, isn't there?
"When I strip and submit to her punishment, it reconnects us and ...." There is something very intimate and loving about this part, isn't there?
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely! It's different from sex and emotional intimacy and friendship and anything else - it's a whole different aspect of commitment and connection. I couldn't have understood it when I was younger, but it's such a powerful feeling.
CK
* two thumbs up!
DeleteDefinitely needed, especially if you both feel a special connection, but also to enforce you belong to her & her whims, and to remind her of the same.
ReplyDeleteRegarding maintenance spankings and your wife’s concern putting forth the “physical effort.” My Queen years ago implemented maintenance spankings, believing then as she does now, that spankings reinforced her position as well as mine in our marriage while keeping me on the top of my game. At the same time she didn’t want to bother with the mundane details, wanting to get in and get out. So as she is having her morning coffee in bed and feels an MS is needed she will casually tell that I need to “ prepare the room.” So after she has gotten up and gone to shower I make the bed and then go to a specific guest room in the house where I stack 3 pillows at the end of the bed and place her spencer paddle next to the pillows. I then, wearing only my collar and chastity cage bend over pillows clasping my hands behind my back and wait. When My Queen has showered and dressed for work she opens the door picks up the paddle and commences with the spanking while reminding of our positions and who is in charge in our marriage. After her message has had what she feels is the proper “impact” she puts down the paddle and I follow her to the garage, open her car door thank her for her time and wishing her a good day. So as you can see there is little but very important involvement for My Queen.
ReplyDeleteDon’t know if this response is what you’re looking for but it works very effectively for us.
Have a good weekend.
sw
Thanks so much Walt. Mistress K. and I have some rituals too that we both love very much, and I really love the one you and your Queen use for maintenance spankings. Very effective I would imagine as well!
Delete"Don’t know if this response is what you’re looking for but it works very effectively for us."
It's exactly the kind of response I was hoping for. Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing.
Punishment only for me...but others prefer them. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you vanessachaland. Always love it when you stop by and comment.
DeleteWe are relatively new to spanking. My wife has always been the leader in our marriage and in bed. We both loved it but I wanted more. I wanted to be more consciously her submissive and, late last year, suggested that she start spanking me.
ReplyDeleteMy wife was very hesitant but agreed to think about. On New Year's Eve, she suggested a trial period. She did not want our relationship to evolve into my bratting so I could get a spanking. Instead she suggested that she give me a monthly maintenance spanking. On the first Friday of each month, I would go directly to our bedroom after work and wait for her to use her hand, leather paddle or belt at her sole discretion.
She declared that this would continue for nine months. I could choose to opt out but then spanking would be permanently off the table. After the spanking I would listen to her assessment of my behavior and her expectations for the next month. At the end of the nine months, I could say no more or this would become a permanent part of our marriage. Of course, I agreed.
My first spanking, with a leather paddle which had mysteriously appeared was much more than I anticipated. I squirmed and wiggled and fell off her lap. She told me that I could end it right then or get back over her knee. She gave me a minute standing in front of her to decide. Hesitantly, I went back over her knee.
I was nearly in tears when she was finished. She gave me fifteen minutes in the corner and then had me report back to her for a discussion of the future of our marriage. She decided that, if I was to be her submissive, she wanted me to be more like a wife than a husband. Instead of her telling me what my chores were, she wanted me to take the initiative remembering when to clean and do laundry, plan meals, do the bill, etc. We would discuss how I was doing next month.
I just had my April spanking and behavior review. For the week before my review, I was very conscious of being responsive and anticipating her needs.
She has taken to her role completely and told me this will either become permanent or our marriage is over. I cannot imagine life without her. I have never been more submissive or more content
"She has taken to her role completely and told me this will either become permanent or our marriage is over."
ReplyDeleteWow, as daunting as that may sound to the uninitiated, I got a little involuntary movement in me cage when I read it!
Love the post and the comments. I think that everyone's life is different what with careers, children, ages and general issues. If maintenance works well, then by all means adopt/continue it. I like MS because we do get busy and I'm not spanked as often as appropriate. MS allows the chance to refocus without too much burden on either of us. Graham
ReplyDelete