I say no. That said, I do understand the importance of celebrating each couple's "to each their own" way of living their best lives, so if you are able to earn orgasms and it makes you both happy ... God Bless you. I applaud you.
During a recent conversation, I went on and on about the importance of our lifestyle here in Mistress K.'s, of it only ever being about her. Her choices, her pleasures, her preferences, her bliss. All without the burden of reciprocation or even ever having to feel guilty about indulging in whatever she wants in a particular moment.
We have a power exchange relationship where she has the power. If I were able to expect anything, let alone an orgasm by virtue of something else, like time served, doing my chores, being a good boy, a pair of dice, or anything other than Mistress K.'s whim, then it would mean that she really didn't have the power that we previously exchanged.
I think, particularly early in a FLR, women frequently don't want to be 'responsible' for his climaxes, so they're more comfortable setting challenges, playing games, or consulting the calendar.
ReplyDeleteBut over time, many relationships seem to naturally evolve into 'default denial' for the man. (Except for special occasions, perhaps, or accidents!)
When my wife and I both fully enjoy her orgasms, it truly is an intense and powerful experience we share.
By the way, I love that "I will come for the both of us tonight" image!
CK
"But over time, many relationships seem to naturally evolve into 'default denial' for the man. (Except for special occasions, perhaps, or accidents!)
DeleteWhen my wife and I both fully enjoy her orgasms, it truly is an intense and powerful experience we share."
I couldn't agree more CK. "Our" orgasms that she has for us are amazing!
In my house, I get a full orgasm (or a ruined one for that matter) ONLY when Mistress K. is inclined to give me one. There is no rhyme or reason in her decision when it happens, and that is just fine with me.
Love this sub hub, love the quotes. No denial or earning orgasms here
ReplyDeleteHugs
Roz
Thanks Roz. You just get orgasms whenever you want?
DeleteMy Mistress M likes me to orgasm after I am punished..She says”time to cum for Mama” and I better or else!!!!
ReplyDeleteSometimes, when Mistress K. is especially unhappy with me, I will be ordered to masturbate to orgasm before an especially harsh spanking. Those are NO fun!
Deletei totally agree with you you sub hub! When we first started out, we did the whole "earn your orgasms" thing. It was fun, sure. But when we evolved to "Her choices, Her pleasures, Her preferences, Her bliss", things got so much more intense. No longer did i have to worry about if/when i could orgasm. i get far more pleasure out of sharing Her orgasms than i ever did with my own.
ReplyDeletei'm so glad she said yes
~sierra
Thanks sierra. It really is all about her and her orgasms. No orgasms to be earned by a schedule, doing my chores, by dice, or any other outside influence. She decides when (if), and that's ok by me.
DeleteGREAT POST! Is this a reference to 'compersion' which is defined as The feeling of joy one has experiencing another’s joy, such as in witnessing your wife’s joy and feeling joy in response. Just starting ourofficial journey into WLM, but looking forward to taking this very deep dive together. Looking forward... Love your imagery! Thank you!
ReplyDeleteI believe it very could be a reference to compersion, and yes, witnessing her have an orgasm is amazing! I wish you well in your journey and I'd love to hear how things are going for you from time to time.
DeleteLove this topic. You guys are spot on with how orgasm denial should evolve in a relationship. However, rather say a firm no to earned orgasms, I would say that earned orgasms are appropriate in a new WLM to motivate and train the guy and then overtime they are no longer earned but given at the whim of the wife. This is exactly what you all alluded to above, so I know you get it but I'm just reframing the initial message. My husband is well trained now so I'm finding less need for his orgasms :)
ReplyDeleteThis is a very good point and I agree wholeheartedly. Earned orgasms are necessary in a new WLM because it is silly and impractical to think that a submissive husband would be able to understand the benefit of so few orgasms after going from many to very few. On its own, it may seem like very few orgasms in a husband's future in a new WLM is a bad thing. Let me assure that it is not! I've never had had so few orgasms in my life while at the same time, I've never had more and better sex with woman I know is the sexiest woman in the world! The second can separate sex from being focused on his penis, he is exposed to a whole new level of bliss.
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