I came across this blog entry that deals with how the identity of private, intimate blogs can get revealed: faerie learns to fly: It Slipped Out. In it the blogger talks about actual people in your real life knowing about the identity of you blog, and therefore having a glimpse into the most private parts of your life.
Way back, in a previous post (too lazy to try and find), I wrote about how Mistress called me in an urgent hurry one day because her BFF was having some issues with her husband in her marriage, and Mistress K. thought she/they would be a good candidate for FLM. Because of our mutual desire for discretion, Mistress K. wanted my permission to reveal our lifestyle to her friend. It took me about 2.3 seconds to give her all of the approval I could muster. I don't actually know why I did it other than I guess the whole idea of someone else in our lives, someone we could trust with discretion, would know about my submissiveness to my Wife, and know about our lifestyle. It appealed to the exhibitionist nature that I have so I did not hesitate giving my Mistress my approval. I even offered to allow this friend to be able to call and talk to me about her things if she wanted a perspective from the submissive husband's point of view.
Well, that conversation eventually did happen and we talked about all kinds of things. Why did I want this in the first place? What was in it for Mistress K? Is it really possible for me, an otherwise overly dominant person in the vanilla world, to be truly happy being a submissive husband ......... that actually gets punished by being spanked on my naked ass? We talked all through those things. An hour and a half later, when it was time to say goodbye, I revealed to my wife's friend that I had a blog that had very intimate details about my life and my marriage to her dear, dear fried. I didn't tell her the name of the blog because I didn't want to force something on her that she didn't want to know in the first place. I told her that the blog exists, and if she wanted to read it, I'd gladly reveal it to her. She was intrigued, thought about for a moment and said "you know, let me think about that for a couple of days". She eventually declined to know the identity of the blog because she felt, at least for now, the intimate details of my marriage to her best friend did not need to be revealed for her to contemplate her own FLM journey with her husband.
As they say, the shit is out of the horse and she knows enough about our relationship to qualify her as being in the know. If she felt she needed, or even just wanted to know the identity of the blog, I'd be good with that.
The thought of my wife discussing our "situation" turns me on immensely. I know that sex is always a topic when they go on girls' nights out, and I fantasize about her talking about saying something casually like, "he has been such a better husband since I've started controlling his orgasms". And then, hearing the giggles and later the follow up for more "advice". A man can fantasize...
ReplyDeleteIt's interesting to have a 1.5 hour discussion with a female about your sexual desires. It is interesting that our culture is so against discussing sex, when we know we all do it, and if we are not doing it enough, something is probably wrong. What's the big deal? I don't want family members to know about our sex life, but why not others? I am not ashamed about it.
Having said that, I had a male friend that I told about my blog. Not really sure to what extent he checked it out, frankly. He was a big FLR advocate, but unfortunately, we moved to another state and haven't really caught up.
Can you go into what level of detail you discussed with your wife's friend?
Cheers
Hi lovetosubmit, and thanking for commenting.
DeleteMistress K. did in fact something very similar to "he has been such a better husband since I've started controlling his orgasms" if not that very thing, to her friend. Again, the conversation began with Mistress K. suggesting that her friend consider some the characteristics of a FLM, including orgasm control and spankings for punishment, to be incorporated into her own marriage. This person and her husband are dear, dear close friends. They share all of the trials and tribulations of each others lives and have served as each others "rock" when they've felt they needed to talk about ... anything really. Mistress K. was telling her friend these not to entice, arouse or otherwise be an exhibitionist of sorts. Instead Mistress K. was truly wanting to help her dear friend. I don't believe there were any giggles. In an obvious way, it was therefore clinical in nature.
The reason i was able to have such a long conversation with her friend was because she and I are also very close. Close in a mutual respect way and not all sexual, although there have been plenty of times when there was very overt, albeit joking overtures of sexual escapade between her and I. I do that with all her friends and it has always been in plain view or earshot of Mistress, especially before we entered into our FLM. Our conversation was not at all meant to titillate or arouse but rather to educate. Her friend wanted to know the very basic concepts of our FLM so she could consider incorporating them into her own marriage. She asked very good questions like "the kink you share is nice and I think I know what you get out of it, but what does she (Mistress K) get out of it?" That sort of thing. Somehow, talking about some very intimate things about my sex life with Mistress' friend seemed very natural. I'd be lying if said I didn't get a thrill to be able to speak openly about my FLM with an actual human being other than my wife. That being said, there were no underlying innuendos about anything. It was purely two friends discussing a interpersonal topic with each other, like adults, without giggling or even embarrassment.
I hope that satisfies your curiosity about what was discussed. that was several months ago and as of this writing, i don't what, if anything her friend is doing in her own marriage relative to a form of FLM, nor am I aware of any further conversation about such things between her and Mistress K. Am I curious? Hell yes I'm curious!!! If Mistress K. feels there is information I am worthy of knowing, I guess she will tell me. If her friend has any desire to discuss any aspect it further, Mistress K. has given both of us permission to speak about it as much as we want.
My wife is deathly afraid of anyone finding out about our kinks. She knows that I have a blog on which I recount some of our steamier sessions and she really doesn't want me doing so, though she has not forbid from it. Mainly she is concerned that someone we know would read it and figure out who it was about.
ReplyDeleteI am very tempted to tell some people, including inlaws, about our new FLR because I think it is so wonderful and could be good for them too. I can imagine all my wife's siblings, male and female, being in a FLR with their spouses. I just want to spread the joy that I have found in learning to serve and submit to my loving wife. She would never allow that!
Hi MRBILL, and thanks again for stopping by. Like you, my Mistress Wife is also deathly afraid of being revealed, which is why we go to great lengths to remain anonymous here.
DeleteI'm also very tempted to tell but wouldn't dare because it would be such a significant violation of my commitment to Mistress K. that it would likely end our happiness. I have no desire for any family member, in-law or otherwise to ever know about our lifestyle. Like you though, I do so wish there was an opportunity (other than this blog) to "spread the joy" to others. To me, this lifestyle is the solution to soooo many couples that have problems .... and they would never know it unless someone was able to help them understand the logic behind it.
Other than my Master no one else knows of my blog, well thats not strictly true, a friend knows i keep a blog...but i wont give her the name of it lol
ReplyDeleteI think what im afraid of, is although she knows some what about our relationship and what we engage in, she does not know it all, and what i write about in the blog, well i dont want it changing her view of me, i wont risk it potentially harming a friendship.
x
Exactly the same situation for tori!
DeleteThank you so much for commenting.
Two male friends know about my blog. Neither read it, I think.
ReplyDeleteHi Giles and thank you for commenting. I'll bet they have read it. Just a guess but it is too titillating a topic for anyone that is alive to not want to know more about it. Just my opinion of course. I could be wrong.
DeleteMgt best friend of almost 30 years is now aware of our blog and a few other good friends who've known me and know in a dominant sexual person. They've either been teased by me our wish they'd been haha so there are a few people out there in our real life who know what our lifestyle is all about.
ReplyDelete~ Lady M
Greetings Lady M. and thank you so much for taking the time to stop by and comment. I really appreciate it.
DeleteIt must be equal amounts of satisfying and nervousness knowing that there are people out that are intimately familiar with your lifestyle. How exciting.
btw, love your blog and the writing from both you and monkeyinacage. Very entertaining and filled with sexy stories.
Very interesting post sub hub. much can be said about our life style. I too would like to share what we have with someone we can talk to about it instead of keeping it a deep dark secret. It would not bother me if they even witnessed a spanking. But like others R would never reveal or allow me to reveal what we do to anyone. My hat is off to you for the discussion you had with your Mistress' friend. We live in a very double standard country. All adults engage in some type of sexual activity but we don't discuss it with others. So many would look at you like you are some kind of nut. Then on the other hand you can go on TV or march in parades telling the world you are gay and that is OK. Myself I'd love to shout from the roof tops that my wife controls me and spanks me I'm proud to serve her and keep her happy even to the point of presenting my bare bottom for her to blister.
ReplyDeletearchedone
Hi arched one. I don't know that I have a desire to reveal to people my lifestyle, you know, just for the sake of doing it. If society were accepting, I'd proudly demonstrate publicly my devotion to my Mistress Wife. As far as being spanked with others watched .............. YUMMY!
DeleteI find it remarkable and sad that submissive men need to hide who they are when they are revealing their commitment to serving women -- the pursuit of what is in truth a Noble Ideal. Is this now the love that dares not speak its name?
ReplyDeleteThank you for your blog -- you have much to offer in revealing your own pursuit of this ideal.
Hello Noble Ideal and thank you for your comments. I noticed that you recently started following my blog and I say thank you for that as well. I hope you enjoy yourself when you are here.
DeleteI agree, it is remarkable that our society is what it is. I liken this to the struggle that any other group may have in revealing who they are (LGBT for example). So yes, I believe this is now the love that dare not speak it's name, but that's ok. In that my only desire is to provide a pleasurable existence on this planet for my beloved Mistress Wife, I'm more than happy to do that in private with her.
Thanks again for stopping by. I look forward to "talking" with you some more in the future.
Thank you for your kind appreciation. I have been reading your excellent blog for quite some time, but only recently began "following" you with the recent creation of my own blog, The Noble Ideal. In that endeavor, I am also following you.
DeleteI have created this blog with the intention of cultivating a spiritual practice in pursuit of the Noble Ideal -- service to women -- but also to create a forum in the service of others, both mean and women, who, each in their own way, share a commitment to this Noble Ideal.
Your contribution to this pursuit is deeply appreciated, as I have learned much from and been greatly inspired by your blog. I look forward to a fruitful and rewarding conversation with you, as I begin my journey on the path of the Noble Ideal.
I think your blog idea is fantastic. Do you have a link to your blog so I can follow it as well?
Deletehttp://nobleideal.blogspot.com
DeleteThank you for your interest. I would be honored to have you follow The Noble Ideal.
I have exposed my donnie's little secret verbally to curious strangers, his mother, and sister but only one friend. Other times I've made him expose his secret to hotel clerks. When they ask how was your trip I'd comment ok except for his road rage tantrum. But he's going to get his when we get to our room. Go ahead hot head tell her what's going to happen. If he doesn't explain loud enough the first time then he has to say it loud and clear. Also, there have been two accidental witnesses to his bare bottom spanking. He's been spanked in the hotel bathroom while the maids cleaned the rest of the room too.
ReplyDeleteThat's all amazing. Some of it is arousing. I'd like to know more details about how the "accidental witnesses" came to be. I Wouldn't want my mother or my sister to know about my "little secret" any more than I would want them to know any other intimate detail about my life. Being punished, in the bathroom while the maids are cleaning the room .... so fucking HOT. It's a new fantasy for me now! Thank you for sharing.
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