Earlier this month is wrote a post about being restless. You can read is here. Recently, while Mistress was sitting in her favorite chair in our bedroom watching her favorite program on TV, and I was watching football, I got up from the couch, walked into the bedroom, closed and locked the door behind and walked over to her chair. I kneeled in front of her just simply say ... "Mistress, may I ask you something? Of course you can pet, she said. "I would appreciate it if you would consider testing my limits, even our limits within our relationship. I am not complaining in any way because I have absolutely nothing to complain about, but I keep thinking about having my limits tested." She then asked "In which ways do you want to test your limits?" .... and the only thing I could say was that I didn't know specifically, which is why I asked if she would take some to consider it. The unknown is what I seek I think. Maybe we can explore together.
With that, I leaned down, kissed her feet which were curled under legs on the chair, then I leaned in and kissed her, told her I loved her and left the room. She's an amazing woman and I so very much want to explore life with her dramatically.
I've thought about it and maybe it is true that perhaps I am merely mistaking a desire interact in our acknowledged D/s roles more frequently, with wanting to "push limits", especially when I can't define them ... perhaps. The idea of Mistress attaching a literal and figurative leash to my recently acquired collar, and leading us down a new road, is both exhilarating and scary. Then again, maybe she just needs to paddle the fuck out of my ass and tell me to stop daydreaming. *smile
I think it is a positive development that you asked her to push your limits. Communication is always good so she knows you need your limits pushed. Let's hope she decides to push them to make you feel more submissive as she continues your training. So many possibilities. Will she lock you more, put you in bondage more with a good hog tie, more corner time? More and harder spankings. More panty wearing. More ass training. Will be interested in seeing what she does with this information.
ReplyDeleteFD
Those are all very valid questions FD. It could more of the things we currently do, or it could be activities that we have necessarily wanted to do before. I have to be honest and tell that the idea of having to, I mean really being required to do something I don't want to do in order to demonstrate that I have some "skin in the game", so to speak. I don't know what that would be but would hold a hard limit at sex with another man. For either of us!
DeleteIt sounds to me like you need more attention from your Mistress. Having followed your blog I find how she controls you and keeps you submissive wonderful. You could ask for more (longer) spanking more pegging and more edging. A good talk could be in order. You are welcome for the information on Football spanking. I'll be getting one tomorrow. Let me know what team you pick so I'll have an idea when you are getting spanked. I'm picking the Vikings the way they have messed up I should be getting lots of spanking.
ReplyDeletearchedone
I'm certain you're right on all accounts archedone. Back about a year ago or so, Mistress admonished me heavily for topping from the bottom, and doing in such a way as to be disguised in "communicating" by asking for things, not getting them the way I had hoped then pouting about them. It became a tedious existence for Mistress and I vowed then to not ever let her feel the pressure of a whiney, bitchy, needy submissive husband ... because it is exactly opposite of the foundation of our FLM is all about. Since being admonished by Mistress for topping from the bottom, I have tried very hard to not steer things.
DeleteI know you aren't suggesting that I do top from the bottom my friend.
Never top from the bottom that can be very dangerous.
Deletearchedone
Never do .... anymore
DeleteYou stated you wanted her to push your limits. You define a "hard limit" as sex with other men. Do you have "softer limits" you want tested? If not, then the hard limit is to be tested. I'm interested in your reaction if she pushes that limit. As a sub committed to her satisfaction, wouldn't you have to comply? best of luck in your endeavors.
ReplyDeleteThank you anonymous for your comments. All important things to think about for sure.
DeleteMistress and I had previously set sex with other men (for either of us) as something that we each needed to declare as off-limits, "no matter how drunk we got".
Your logic is sound and very valid indeed. What if Mistress felt as though in order for her to feel as though we were actually growing in our FLM that she needed to have sex with another man, or worse, see me do it. I understand that it is dangerous and often wrong to declare "never" ahead of time like we have already done, but I do know this.
Mistress has always never found any sexual arousal at the prospect of me having sex with another man. It's a not at all a homo-phobia thing. Mistress thinks lesbian sex is an incredibly beautiful and wonderful thing. (so do I .. *smile) I know that in our FLM, Mistress has no desire to feminize or emasculate me other than just for her (private and not openly) and only when she feels it is as appropriate situation to reinforce her dominance.
As far as sex with another for Mistress ... it isn't something that we talk about much in fantasy. Being cucked it not something I could ever see myself as being, and being able to survive in my loving marriage. Being purposely demeaned, minimized, degraded and humiliated while my wife took obvious sexual pleasure from another man while preventing me from doing the same ... would not be something I think I could handle. I guess we can agree that would be my hard limit and I hope it never gets tested.
I guess with that in mind and to try and answer our question about soft limits, aside from what I perceive as absolute "no fucking way will I ever participate in things like that" hard-limits like, blood, poop, animals, children, severe pain, real physical abuse, anything that could get us arrested, and other obvious etc., I guess, being a sub committed to her satisfaction, I would comply. I would because I have enough trust in her to safeguard and nurture our sacred lives that we have together and would trust the direction she felt we should go ... even if it was just because she wanted to.
What an incredibly thought-provoking comment Anonymous. Thank you so much.
My pleasure. Congrats on having a strong enough relationship where you can trust her to respect the hard limits. This creates a conundrum for her. What limits to push. How is the easy part. Perhaps a forced "clean up" after a ruined orgasm is a good place to start.
DeleteI agree. I can surely see the conundrum it creates for. Here I am being all needy and shit, saying I need/want my limits to be "tested" and I can't even articulate how. Perhaps a review discussion of our FLM is in order. We promised we'd do it at least every month and it has well over 6 months since we did it.
DeleteBy forced "clean up", I assume you mean being required to eat my cum? Perhaps that is a good place to start. I'll be honest, the whole idea in general makes a lot of sense. Sort of like "skin-in-the-game" for a submissive husband. I read about so many FLM couples that have this as a routine part of their relationship. So much so in fact it seems almost like they would be surprised that there would a submissive husband out there that isn't required to consume what he ejaculates.
If that was something that Mistress required of me, I would do it. On one hand, in a general sense, being required to do that as a standard operating procedure seems logical and almost perfect symbolism of what a FLR is all about and I admit that I get aroused at the prospect, in general. Specifically though, the past few times when I have ejaculated, I thought right then what it would be like if I was required to recycle, and not surprisingly, right after cumming, I didn't think it was arousing at all. I suppose that is the point, having to do something that you truly don't want in order to demonstrate devotion. Heck, I don't like it when my ass starts to burn at that turning point in a spanking when it begins to become unbearable, but there I am.
All of this conversation could be moot. Mistress K. has an aversion to the idea of eating cum. I'm not entirely sure why other than maybe she associates it within homosexual activity or feminization. Mistress K. has repeatedly said that she doesn't have any desire to turn her strong, virile, alpha dog husband into a sissy to be seen by the world, and possibly the act of eating my own cum gives her too much of a glimpse in private.
By the way, I'd love to know a little about you. Are you female or male? Sub or Dom?
Thank you so much for stopping and commenting. I very much do appreciate it.
happy to share.
ReplyDeleteI'm married to a wonderful and supportive wife. I'm a bit of a switch, though more sub in the bedroom. We practice DD and my wife is really getting more comfortable doling that out. She's not excited to force clean up or use a strap on, but she has done both to "test both of our limits".
ReplyDeleteWe tried a full FLR the week of Thanksgiving. We even had a contract.
It was a great week for both of us. She really enjoyed taking the lead and she was not shy about DD (daily maintenance spankings). I did not do anything to earn a punishment spanking. Probably a good thing.
On two occassions since, I've approached her with strap in hand and asked her to punish me. She has grown more comfortable with the DD part. She has not gained as much comfort in the "humiliation" part, but we believe it will come with time and patience. It's a journey and a work in progress.
Really like your blog. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for the great insight into what sounds like a wonderful marriage. Congratulations. I feel lucky to have the same relationship with woman I love and I proudly wear her collar. I appreciate the kind words and that you enjoy the blog. Merry Christmas and happy new year to you and yours.
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