Hello again everyone. Two posts in one day? What the hell?
My previous post mentioned a spanking I was waiting to get, and a subsequent comment mentioning that it was very light, very easy and with not much stingy. That was the second spanking in a row that very light and easy. Each of those spankings have left wanting to do something I had hoped Mistress and I could do ... Boot Camp!
There used to be lots of information on D/s Boot Camps which included information on how to conduct them. The basic idea behind the boot camp is for both the Mistress and subhub (in our case) to experience intense activities in our respective roles. If I remember correctly, over a designated period of time (usually a weekend), the Dominant would take the submissive through intense experience related to his/her role as a submissive. The idea being to deeply drive home the necessary, required experiences that submissive must go through, intensely experienced. Things like scheduled, repeated and harsh spanking sessions. The kind that take the sub (and the Dominant for that) beyond where he/she normally goes during a session. Other things that the couple uniquely experience together on a recurring/daily basis are intensely experienced, whatever those might be.
I'd like to ask for your help. Are you aware of resources available to read about? Perhaps you've even experienced a Boot Camp scenario and has some advice to give?
I believe that it would be VERY beneficial for Mistress K. and I to each experience a somewhat prolonged (weekend) period of time where we can each participate in our respective roles in an intense fashion. Each of us being able to exist in Dommespace and subspace for more than just fleeting moments, would set a nice baseline for the loving, trusting, awesome relationship that we have.
Please let me know your thoughts.
Thank you in advance.
I came across this a while back. It is written from a M/f perspective and is a little too CDD for my taste, but you probably could modify it for a F/m non-religious boot camp experience: https://www.amazon.com/Domestic-Discipline-Bootcamp-Beginners-relationship/dp/1973225468/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1521131523&sr=8-1&keywords=domestic+discipline+boot+camp
ReplyDeleteHey buddy .... Yeah, that's the site I was looking for.. Thanks for the lead. I have a feeling that this whole "boot camp" idea may turn out to be one of those be carful what you wish for things.
DeleteWe have talked about doing one several times, but it never actually seems to happen. And, I'm not sure how useful some of the approach on that site would be. Like the multiple spankings a day thing. The justification seems to be to get the HoH used to giving hard spankings, but that is sort of superfluous for those of us who have been in these relationships for years. We are getting more serious about doing something like the written exercises, basically to make sure we fully understand what the other person wants.
DeleteRan across this. Less intense that some of the short boot camps I've read about ... instead, it is called "the ten" where for six days a week over four to six weeks, she give you ten strokes each day while you recite 'the ten'. She uses whatever implement she chooses and you each get into your roles while gradually becoming comfortable with them. More like 'conditioning'. The site is not that well laid out, but poke around a bit and you'll get the gist of the technique.
ReplyDeletehttp://femdommarriage.com/
Checking it out now .....
DeleteI have mostly heard of boot camps for DD couples and some have blogged about their experiences. I was going to point you to the link Dan provided.
ReplyDeleteHugs
Roz
Hi Roz ..... Thanks for always being here! XOXO
DeleteKen and Emily Addison had 'boot camp' chapters in their FLR books - "Around Her Finger" and "New Bride's Guide". They emphasise tease and denial rather than domestic discipline, but feel free to mix and match!
ReplyDeleteCK
I came across the "new Bride's Guide". Will have to check it out, even though the tease and (especially) the denial is something that we do a lot.
DeleteThanks CK
Interesting idea. I've never really heard/read about these before. Hmmm....:)
ReplyDeleteI came across a story several years ago about it and it made logical sense to me then. It would have a profound impact on both of if Mistress K. were to have us participate in something like this. Mistress K. is a sweet, loving soul, and even to this day is burdened with worry about whether or not I have been taken to far, or if the paddling hurts to much, or if I am required to participate in the thing she enjoys at the expense of the things I enjoy. Don't get me wrong ... she has no problem executing on decisions in those areas, but there is (and probably always be) a little something there.
DeleteI'm certain that if we were able to exist in an environment (boot camp) where every aspect of our lifestyle were significantly enhanced, it would have a profound (positive) impact on our FLM. For example, Mistress K. has never brought me to tears with a spanking. Do I want her to? No, I don't. Would the respect experience each of us would have allow us to exist on a much deeper level in our lifestyle? Absolutely?
Plan and run a boot csmo? Sounds like a lotta extra work to Me. Who’s actually the slave in that scenario?
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your opinion, and for you coming by. I understand your logical question. By all accounts, boot camp is neither easy nor pleasurable. I can't imagine being brought to tears with a spanking, on several occasions over a 2-3 day period, being pleasurable. What it would do is allow Mistress K. to exist in that space, albeit for a short time, and to gauge the effect it has on her, and on our marriage.
DeleteFemdom Boot Camp… what a great idea. I think we concocted something like that. My wife like to plays online games, and we found out https://habitica.com/ to make some daily things more fun and motivational. There are social functions in the app for people who want share similar ideas.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing and for your suggestion, Her Subject. That's worth looking into. I think for us, the experience of being punished to actual tears is where we need to start because each of us needs to know that that we can got there.
DeleteI know what you mean. I’d like the same thing, but we have to put it off because we have young children and whips get awfully loud.
DeleteOther commenters gave some really good links. You can ask Mistress K if that’s something she’d like to try, and if so, “order” you to plan a boot camp. If the plan falls below her expectation, she really needs to spank you for that. If she likes the plan, then you won’t be able to back out.
Put some thoughts into the plan (both the planning process and the boot camp), remove as much burdens from Mistress K as you can, and make it as pleasurable/fun as you can.
Well done here with your blog..
ReplyDeleteI have not heard of any type of boot camp. I am thinking it would be difficult to provide positive results. I dominate my sub in a much different way then I read most FemDom/s relationships do. It’s sort of like a smorgasbord; you need to pick and choose what is good for both of you. For instance, I believe for my sub to be serving me he must be able to take my strap-on regularly, he must be able to drink my nectar regularly, some have hard limits with this sort of dominance.
I think Women need to converse about what works for them, I am not so concerned if my sub husband likes it.
D
Thank you so much for the kind words and for taking the time to comment after stopping by Ms. Dorinda Savage. I genuinely do appreciate it.
DeleteI had read about a boot camp when Mistress and I first started out. It sounded very harsh an focused a lot on the tasks/responsibilities of the Dominant and submissive. Of course for the submissive that meant a strong emphasis on intense and painful spankings. I guess in order to be able to have felt the "real" pain of a severe spanking. As a submissive, I can appreciate the benefit of going through such a "training", even though it is clearly one of those be careful what you ask for things.
Every couple is different...indeed and we all have our preferences/needs/desires. For instance, I believe taking my Mistress's strap regularly would be a treat, an honor, a reward and something I would enjoy doing .... but not the pee drinking. You're right, some have hard limits and pee drinking is one of them for both Mistress and I.
I also agree that Women do need to converse and explore what works for them, because it is all about them.
Thank you again for stopping by
posting late
Deletei agree with Miss Dorinda many have hard limits around things like nectar. my wife and i do not. she keeps some chilled in the fridge. she thinks it very funny for her to sip white wine while i from a wine glass enjoy her nectar. there is an irony to the grace of my slender white wine glass and the distasteful perception of her nectar.
harder for me is if i am made to consume her chocolate. ive had it in a pie but worst was her squatted over me.
as you can see our limits are quite far
Hello SHiP. About 2 months ago, I was looking up fem-dom boot camps Phoenix, and this post came up. Since then I read your entire blog and I must tell you, nothing has helped me understand my dominate side more than your writings. I can’t say I am a very good Dom, yet, but I was able to understand what I found exciting and erotic about fem-dom, thanks to your blog.
ReplyDeleteI have a question that I would love if you would answer. When you first asked your wife to become your mistress what was her initial reaction? Was she surprised or did she know you wanted something like this?
I hope you and your family have a beautiful day.
Your fan, Pants.
Oh my goodness Pants, thank you so much for the wonderfully kind words. They mean the world to me. Are you a "good" Dom or not? According to who's standards? Are you happy? Does your submissive make you happy? That's all that matters. People get "unhappy" about what they are doing when they begin to compare to what others may feel is the right definition. it's all relative.
DeleteMistress K.'s first reaction was surprise, of course. After all, a wife doesn't get asked to Dominant her husband every day. Plus, it is certainly one of those things that can't be un-said once it is said. We had always had a very healthy kinky lifestyle so there was no chock to her system from that point of view. I had carefully presented the reasons why I was asking her to accept my submission, accept the ownership of all of my sex, to accept the responsibility of owning me, disciplining me and using me for her pleasure in life (not just sexually).
Thank you again Pants, for your lovely words and comment.