Settling Back into our normal ...

Hi everyone.  It's been a minute since we talked last.  I hope you summer is going well and that everyone you love is happy, safe and comfortable.

I've mentioned before that we were already quite a bit down the road to (mostly) permanent chastity.  For nearly a year, I was mostly caged 24/7.  Wearing the cage was a default expectation by Mistress K., and something that I had come embrace as a normal, everyday experience.  I love it.  We both love.

Summer came a long and with it came some international travel on two different trips to two different destinations, some Covid for Mistress K., some health scares because of elderly parents ... stuff like that.  As a result, Mistress K. had me uncaged for the last half of June and the first half of July.  She didn't say why (she is required to) she preferred me uncaged, she just looked at me and said, "Because ... it's what I want."

Truth be told, I didn't hate being uncaged.  I enjoyed getting erections when nature decided.  I enjoyed standing and peeing.  I was even allowed (actually required) to enjoy 2 different full penetration fucking sessions with Mistress K.  You know, the kind where I would get her all revved up, watch her have an orgasm or two, penetrate her with my very own cock, and not her new rubber boyfriend (which has been slowly put surely becoming Mistress' preferred cock for penetration), without stopping, all the way to the biggest orgasm I could muster.  That (put it in and go to the finish line) happened twice in 4 weeks.  I felt like a drunk sailor slut on shore-leave.  Prior to that, it had been twice in 5 years. 

As fun as it was, being allowed to orgasm twice in a month, our WLM dynamic was just all messed up.  As things began to settle back to normal for us, that all changed.  In fact, it all changed this Monday morning when Mistress K. was pulling out of the garage on her way to work.  After exchanging our "I love you's" and her giving me my instructions for the day, she said "Oh, and get your cage back on right away."

2 minutes later, my cage was back on, and it was as comfortable and comforting as I had remembered.  The mindset difference between caged and uncaged is an amazing phenomenon. It has been ever since and will for the foreseeable future, and everything is falling right back into line for our "yes Mistress" normal.

Last night, after returning home from a beautiful Italian dinner, I took the dog out to pee and Mistress K. disappeared into the bedroom.  I assumed she would be changing in her jammies for the night.  She didn't.  After helping Fido do his business outside, I heard "Babe, I need you."  I walk into the bedroom and she is peeling off her clothes.  "Lock the door."  She was horny!  "Take off your clothes."  Now I was horny.  "I'm going to have our orgasms tonight.  You won't be."  "Yes Mistress, of course."  "Would you like me to get your boyfriend Mistress?"  "No, not tonight."  Tonight, you will watch me masturbate to orgasm."

She did ... and holy fuck was it glorious! I so much love watching her writhe in sexual pleasure and have orgasms.  Love it!  I was positioned on the bed, kneeling between her spread legs, with caged cock less than an inch from her glorious pussy.  After her orgasm she put the vibrator on my caged cock and said "take this from me and leave it running on your cage.  I want to see you fuck my vibrator.  You have permission to cum in your cage if you can get there."  I couldn't get there.

She took the vibrator back and said, "maybe this will inspire you.", and immediately resumed her masturbation to another, fucking amazing orgasm.  I already know that she loves the idea of me cum in my cage.  It's the ultimate ruined orgasm.  I just couldn't get there.

Still, it was an amazing way to welcome each other back to our normal WLM lifestyle, and we couldn't be happier.

Post Orgasm Spankings (The worst)

I was browsing my favorite blogs this morning and came across this great topic from a site that I really enjoy.  The Disciplinary Couples Club.  I recommend it highly.  Thanks for the image below.

Post orgasm spankings are the very worst.  In my house they are rare.  Thankfully!  Why?  Because they suck.  The reason for a post-orgasm spanking is it takes every last ounce of eroticism out of the act of receiving a punishment spanking.  And believe me, it works!

There were 3 occasions in which Mistress K. administered a post orgasm spanking.  For each of them, she felt that my behavior was so egregious that such a drastic measure was required.  In each of them, we were in a rare argument.  We do disagree from time to time, and sometimes those disagreements result in spankings.  But when we disagree, and I forget my place in our relationship, I sometimes revert to using language and tone that is clearly disrespectful.  Disrespect and intolerance is something that Mistress K. DOES NOT tolerate.  Ever!  She is keenly aware of the effect of post orgasm spankings and always keeps them in her back pocket for such occasions.  Thankfully it has been a few years since I "forgot my role", so it's been quite a while since I've endured such an awful punishment.

The first time, we had been arguing and she left the room angry and in tears.  30 minutes later, she re-emerged, walked right up to me, pointed to the bedroom and said "move".  Once in the bedroom she made me strip while standing on the tile portion, and told me to masturbate to full orgasm and cum on the floor.  I mistakenly thought she was giving me a treat.  After coming she said lay over the bed and left the room and came back with her paddle.  She proceeded to give me the hardest, most painful spanking she had ever given me up to that point.  I was pleading and begging her to stop, but that only made the blows come harder and faster.  I soon realized that I had better apologize (and mean it) and make her understand that I knew what I had done wrong.  When she was done, she just dropped the paddle at my feet and left room, telling me to "clean up this mess".  She got in her car and went shopping.

Fellas, can you imagine having to endure this right after having an orgasm?  It's not fun.  Not even a little.  My friend Dan at Disciplinary Couples Club made this comment, which i agree with wholeheartedly; 

"But I look at post orgasm spankings as the “nuclear option” to be used when all else fails, but not every time. 

The "nuclear option" in my mind is something falls just short of total relationship dissolution.

He also mentioned this, which I also understand and agree;  

" ... my wife can make a punishment spanking very real without making me cum before while holding the post orgasm out as an implicit threat if she feels it is needed."

All of this of course leads to the most important aspect of all of this ... the means with which Mistress can and will correct unsatisfactory behavior, which after all is what punishment is for.  Being able to unilaterally correct undesirable behavior is absolutely essential in a WLM.  Duh, right?

The other two times were both pretty much the same.  

More disrespectful demeanor and language, only this time she abruptly ended the discussion with "That's it!", followed by instructions for immediate orgasm and assuming the position.

Like I said, it's been a few years since Mistress K. has had to resort to such drastic corrective measures, which we are both grateful for.  

Thank you again Dan from Disciplinary Couples Club for the inspiration.

Where have ya been ... and ... Branded?

 

We've been busy!  I'm basically a humble person so I always feel a little uneasy apologizing for being away.  I don't want to be presumptuous that anyone really notices or cares.  On the off chance someone might, I apologize for being away almost 3 months.  We've been traveling internationally (twice), dealt with (dealing with) the Covid, one of my kids got married and a very close family member has been in the hospital with heart issues.  Like I said, we've been busy.  All that said, we're still very much in love, still very much a Wife-Led couple and still very happy. 

Mistress K. and I have talked in the past about me getting "branded" with something that would permanently mark me as her owned property.  I've been thinking about that a lot recently.  Interestingly enough, just the other morning, Mistress called me into the bedroom to tell me that she has found the person she wants to give me my tattoos.  Tattoos?  Yes, tattoos.  It was all coincidental.  Great minds think alike, I guess.

Not a sentence like this picture but more of a subtle, pretty reminder of who's who and what's what.  Something like this, right above my cock and just above where my cage sits.

Only we'd replace the red butterfly with a white rose.  A white rose of course, is the symbol of a submissive husband, or at least that is what I have been told.  She has also decided that there are going to be at least 2 other tattoos of 2 other very meaningful things to both of us.  Where they go has yet to be determined.   I have asked her to consider having at least one of them on my ass so it is something she will see every time she spanks me.  

I am so excited to get this done.  When?  I don't know.  Remember when i said we were dealing with the Covid?  Yeah, well Mistress K. has it.  She's recovering nicely but it's a slow process.  So, we'll see.

What are your thoughts on the branding one's submissive?
 

Here's what you will be doing tonight

 

Immediately following our Sunday morning review/readings, Mistress K. informed of what our evening was going to be like tonight.

At 8pm precisely, she will enter our bedroom and expect that everything will be ready for me to give her a sexy massage.  Table set-up.  Oils warned.  Candles.  Everything.

She will be massaged.

It will be erotic.

Special attention will be paid to the parts that make her feel good.

"Then you will put on my new boyfriend cock and you will make love to me, then fuck good, hard and for as long as I want, until I am done.  Then I will go to sleep.

"Is that clear?"  Yes Mistress!

Chastity/Denial Matrix - Tip of the Cap to Tom Allen and Mrs Edge

 

I've told you before that the path Mistress K. and I are on has accelerated nicely, and even to places that neither of us maybe would've even predicted.  One such place is (mostly) "permanent denial" along with (kinda mostly) orgasm denial.  It really is astonishing how things evolve to a place that would've never logically even thought to be possible.  Yet here we are.

I came across a VERY, VERY good blog post from someone I have known and admire in blog-land for years. Mr. Tom Allen.  

When being involved in a discussion about permanent chastity, the conversation invariably devolves to a debate as to the meaning of the word permanent.  That's why when I refer to myself, I always refer to it (mostly) permanent chastity.  I'd just rather avoid the useless debate about what the word "permanent" means.

This post by Tom Allen sums up perfectly the problem with discussions sometimes, and even better, provides a way to accurately portray what one's definition of permanent chastity and orgasm denial is.  I've cut and pasted the Matrix chart and definitions of each category for your easy reference.  Using this chart and list of variables, I firmly identify as 8 on the "caged" scale, and 7, ok 7.5 on the denial scale.  Where do you land?

Defining the Caged (x) axis:
(There’s going to be some subjectivity to this, which is fine.)

0: Obviously, never locked, perhaps not even owning a device.
1: Has a device, worn sometimes for play.
2: Wears the device for extended play (a weekend, or maybe a week once in a while).
3: Wears it for extended play, or fairly frequently
4: Wears it frequently, maybe several days a week, or maybe a week or two at a time.
5: Wears it roughly half the time.
6: Wears it more often than not, with frequent removal.
7: Wears it almost all the time, but unlocked for certain occasions or situations.
8: Always worn, with infrequent removal (medical, travel, etc.)
9: Always worn, including travel, and their doctor has seen it.
10: Essentially permanently installed.

Defining the Denial (y) axis:
(Again, assuming that there will be some subjective evaluations)

0: Always allowed to have an orgasm, perhaps frequently. Denial isn’t even in the vocabulary here.
1: Almost always will get an orgasm.
2: Orgasm rarely denied
3: Usually gets to orgasm, although there might be a surprise ruin in there.
4: Orgasms may not be guaranteed, or possibly used as a reward.
5: Orgasms maybe half the time, perhaps ruined.
6: Orgasms are usually denied.
7: Rarely allowed orgasm, although possible ruins/milkings allowed.
8: Orgasms not allowed, although may have accidental ruins or emissions.
9: Orgasms not allowed, ruins not allowed, may possibly have accidents.
10: Orgasms and emissions never allowed.

I recommend highly that you check out Tom Allen's Tumblr blog and his wonderful wife's Tumblr blogs here and here.  Yes, she's that good that she has two different Tumblr blogs.  Mistress K. and I have been inspired by the beautiful and wonderful permanently caged and permanent denial relationship that these two marvelous people portray to the world.  Although there are differences in our respective lifestyle, the permanence part was something we have begun to do because of that inspiration, and our lives and love have never been better and deeper.  

Thanks for stopping by.  I'd love to hear your thoughts.  

ship

Oh, I almost forgot ... why that particular picture at the top of the page?  Because it's hot, that's why.  I've always encouraged Mistress K. that she should take on a female "assistant" for companionship and to help out with some of the chores in her life that can't or currently don't assist her with.  

Maintenance Spanking - What are your thoughts?

 Men do need discipline.  I realize that not everybody in the FLR/WLM world believes in or practices spanking of the male by the Dominant Female.  That's cool.  But among those that do, what are your thoughts on maintenance spanking?  You know, the kind of spanking that perhaps happens regularly as a not-so-subtle reminder of what is in store if disappointment of the Mistress should happen, for whatever reason.

Should maintenance spanking be the kind that is really kind of not fun?  

Should it be the kind that is memorable but maybe not as severe as a punishment spanking?

Should it be the kind that is used for conditioning?  Perhaps so there is an association of some stinging and edging?

Mistress K. and I have talked recently about implementing maintenance spanking in our house but just haven't yet.  We both realize that it does require some physical effort on her part, which isn't something she want to do at a given moment.  She is contemplating whether or not the effort is worth the benefit.

Please do share your thoughts and experience about maintenance spankings.  I'd love to be able to provide Mistress K. with feedback she can use while she contemplates.

Have a great weekend everyone, and thank you for stopping by.

Every Once in Awhile

 A year ago, when my Mature Metal Bird Cage chastity cage arrived, I went from a husband that wore a cage only on very rare occasions, and even the was only as punishment for severe infractions.  It was used as a punishment then because it was very uncomfortable and frankly, not very sanitary after just a day or so.  The Bird Cage solved both of those problems.

We soon began to recognize that my attitude was greatly improved when caged, and as such, Mistress K. began to cage me more and more and more often and for longer periods of time.  Then, when we had and Mistress wanted to be penetrated, she would have me wear a dildo and strap on cock, for a few reasons but not the least of which was there was no reason to remove my cage.  

We began rapidly to move in the direction of (mostly) permanent caged chastity and (mostly) exclusive use of the Vixskin dildo in the strap on harness.  That may sound terrible on the surface but it's not!  We have both had some of the best sex of our marriage during this time.  Yes, me too.  

I was allowed as many ejaculations in this past as I normally would have.  Once Mistress learned I was able to orgasm (ruined) while caged, it added to the list of good reasons to not have to remove the cage.  Most of those ejaculations came via an uncaged ruined orgasm, and I still get those from time to time.  The ruined orgasm that comes because I am caged is a just a new variety she's discovered from the (mostly) permanent cage wear.  The 2-3 non-ruined orgasms, although there was stimulation allowed until all the ejaculate was, well, ejaculated (full-on orgasm), they were still just a slight improvement over a properly ruined orgasm.  Last night was different.

We went and had a nice Italian dinner at our favorite neighborhood joint.  Enjoyed some fine 18-year-old scotch were just chillin.  Both of us complaining about how tired we were, etc.  The dinner was delicious and the scotch, well the scotch lit a fire in Mistress that needed to be put out - pronto!  "Let's go now.", she said.  In the car she said we were "having sex" when we got home.  "The minute we walk in the door you are to get naked and take your cage off. "  In the time it took to do that she was naked and growling.  

She took hers.

Then she gave some of it to me.  

After she came down to earth from her massive orgasm, she said "I want you fuck me and yes, you may cum!"  It was the first time I had a full-on orgasm since September.  It was the first time I was inside her since the beginning of February.  It was the first time that I wasn't on the edge of orgasm, entered her and thrusted, and thrusted, and thrusted and kept thrusting until I came inside her.  It was the first that happened, and the first time I came inside in I don't know how long.  The absolute cherry on top was that we had massive simultaneous orgasms.  It was wow!

Immediately following ... "put your cage back on!"

I have the greatest life because I have the greatest wife.  I love you Mistress!