Last night, I was laying naked in bed, waiting for Mistress to join me. In the winter (even though it's sunny warm Phoenix) Mistress wear sock, pajama pants and a t-shirt to bed. Guh. For obvious reason, I so much prefer when Mistress sleeps naked. Anyway ... as she was going through her routine of getting all 3 of her pillows adjust in just perfect position, and making sure the blanket was the perfect length to be able to fully cover her as she settles in to her comfy bed (this process can take as much 3 or minutes, even longer if she forgets something 3/4 of the way through, has to get out of bed and return to start the process all over), Mistress asked me ... "when was the last time you had an orgasm?" I replied, "do you mean a ruined orgasm, or a real one?". "A real one", she said.
"October 15, 2014 Mistress", was my reply. The was a bit of pride in my reply.. After all, that was 3 1/2 months since my last full on orgasm and since then, I have had some of the most incredible sex of my entire life, have never been more genuinely in love with my beautiful Wife and have never desired her sexually. She was rolling into her final resting spot for the evening on and in her mountain of pillows when she said "Hmmm, I think I'll make you have an orgasm". There was reason given, no time table, no indication that it was going to be that night ..... just the lingering threat of a forced orgasm.
Interestingly (at least to me), I began to think about the forced orgasm coming my way in much the same way I feel when Mistress has declared that I will be receiving a punishment spanking. That regret and fear of something that you know will happen. Something that is an enigma in that the idea of having to endure a harsh, punishment spanking (or something else that Mistress may require) is arousing, but the actual act while it is happening .... isn't. Why in the world would equate the idea of my beautiful, sexy, gorgeous, loving, nurturing Mistress making me have an orgasm, to the searing sting, pain and shame that comes with a punishment spanking. Not one of those sexy, foreplay kind of spankings .... I mean one of those "you really fucked boy and your ass is going to pay for it" kind of spankings.
Mine is not to question when, why and how Mistress will declare a punishment spanking is necessary, or anything else for that matter. If Mistress wants me to have an orgasm, that's what will happen, even if I don't want to have one. Do you think it's possible for someone outside the lifestyle, someone vanilla, to even be able to understand how it could be possible that I am happier than I ever have been in my marriage, and in my sex life, with the knowledge that my last full orgasm was over 3 1/2 months ago, and only because the was the last time my wife allow me to have one? I love my life. I love my wife!
Hi Sub Hub
ReplyDeleteThis has been one of the areas within a FLR that I have been struggling to understand. Your description of how this makes you feel and closeness that is generated in the relationship helps to highlight the benefits of pursuing this type of relationship and is just starting to make sense.
As I was reflecting on this I also thought about other sexual practices that control or avoid orgasm. I haven't seen any discussion on the similarities around orgasm control in a FLR compared to the practices espoused in Tantric sex or by those who practice Kareeza.
In your exploration of this dynamic have you seen anything that looks at the similarity encompassed in thee techniques? DtBHC.
I'm not an expert on either of those sexual practices. I've seen some articles, posts and things about Kareeza, and it seems very similar to the life I am lucky to lead already, but I don't have enough knowledge to be able to compare.
DeleteSimilarly with Tantric sex. Although, with the admittedly limited knowledge of Tantric Sex, it always struck e as interesting that many of the goals that Tantric Sex seems to promote are similar to the feeling that Mistress and I each feel in our FLM. I believe there is a common thread between D/s and Tantric, but I am certainly under qualified to explain why.
For me, there is a peace and comfort within me that comes from knowing that my sexual pleasures are owned by and in control of the one woman on the face of the planet that I love enough to want to have them. For that, I am a very lucky man.
Sub Hub,
ReplyDeleteYou never cease to amaze me! 31/2 months...and here I was acting like a blubbering idiot last night (not one of my finer moments I admit) because it's been over 3 weeks for me. I still have much to learn and accept:)
Hi little girl. Always wonderful to hear from you.
DeleteIt seems daunting, I know. Although the fact that it has been that long is something I am keenly aware of, I am not at all complaining. Keeping in mind that I have been able to find not only comfort in her complete ownership of all of my sexual activities, but the fact that it gives her pleasure to decide (however she goes through the process of deciding) how, when or even if I am allowed to have a full orgasm, is truly a genuine source of pleasure for me. Thus, not a problem.
Mistress is kind in that she doesn't allow semen to build up for too long. There are the rare and occasional milkings (which i thoroughly enjoy) and the more frequent, yet still occasional ruined orgasms that effectively relieve the physical pressure in my loins. For that, I am grateful to her.
Thank you again for stopping by and commenting. I really do appreciate it.
Yes, you are a very lucky man. You will love her if she denies you or lets you have that full orgasms. You need and want you to be controlled. And the fact she has put a full orgasm on the table makes you feel even more controlled because you don't know when it will happen or whether you want it to happen. But you understand, it doesn't matter what you want. She makes all those decisions and you obey and accept them. This lifestyle is perfect for the both of you.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, speaking of warm, sunny Phoenix, it was kind of disappointing it was raining last Friday. And chilly.
FD
Thanks for the kind words FD. Indeed I am a lucky man. Dare I say even luckier than it may appear. You are also very correct in that her telling me she is considering requiring me to have an orgasm DOES make me feel even more controlled, regardless of what my opinion about whether I should be allowed an orgasm. And yes, I absolutely do understand that it does not matter at all what I may or may not want. I hesitate to use the word perfect when it comes to describing our chosen lifestyle, but i will tell that each of us lives in a state of bliss.
DeleteYour mention of the weather here in Phoenix leads me to believe that may have been in town on Friday perhaps?
Thanks as always for stopping by FD. I appreciate it.
Yes, I was there on business Friday and it wasn't exactly Valley of the Sun weather.
DeleteFD
Wow, that's pretty cool FD. I hope you had a chance to enjoy the Phx Open, the Superbowl activities, Scottsdale, etc ............... It was quite a week.
DeleteOh and by the way, it has been 80 and sunny since Sunday and should be like that for another week. Too bad timing wasn't better for you on the weather.
The first thing that popped in my mind was, "if Daddy went that long he would be one cranky man!!" lol! However, I really liked it the one time he denied me...yeah, that was a nice feeling, so I get ya'. :)
ReplyDeleteHA ... that's funny Misty. As you are undoubtedly aware, the dynamic of orgasm control would have an entirely different meaning and outcome if it were to be intended for a male dominant. *smile.
DeleteThat one time? and see, you liked it. Try to imagine the level of your constant state of desire if the object of your submissive affection denied you orgasms for any length of time. Take that nice feeling you had and spread it our over a "long" (whatever "long" may mean to the two of you) period of time, and imagine how good it feels to wallow in it. Yummy.
So outside of that absolutely ironic and funny fact that my Man gave me 109 cumming orgasms just in January and you are on month 4 of no full orgasm. =)
ReplyDeleteI actually see these in the same way. My Man very much loves for me to cum. Once I start, it can happen over and over until I can hardly see straight! (We joke that he fucks me stupid). When I don't do what he has asked of me throughout the day my concern is not that he won't make me cum, it's that HE now has to not enjoy making me cum because of my behavior. It's so much more than do I get to cum or not.
On the flip side, he has also edged me or denied me. Also AMAZING feelings!! I respond to the control and the effort my Man puts on whatever choice he makes.
Misty, I am with you! My Man would NOT be a fan of long term denial!! I really want to see if he will let me do a full real ruined orgasm =) In the past he thought I was out of my mind, however, he is actually very open to how I like to play with him too- so, we'll see!!
Pearl, if he dies allow you to give him a ruined orgasm and it's done right, he'll immediately be willing and able to follow it another ruined organ or even a full on orgasm. Sounds fun. Good luck. Have fun!
DeleteIsn't it funny how different everyone is. My husband prefers to repeatedly force the orgasms on me once he gets going. He uses my body and sensitive parts against me. I swear this practice he has adopted makes me even more needy. Since there are no rules regarding self-indulgence, this morning after he left for work I felt very needy and broke out the Hitachi. Tonight he saw the cord hanging outside of the toy box and asked what was up. I admitted my slutty behavior and I think he found himself somewhere between shock at my admission and need to chastise me for being a horny slut. Whatever/however it works to keep the marriage going, congrats and enjoy.
ReplyDeleteThat's wonder SGT.! Thank you for stopping by and commenting. There have been a few occasions when Mistress has forced orgasms on me. One weekend when I awoke on Saturday morning I was told I was required to orgasm five times before I could go to sleep on Sunday night. Real, full orgasms. You probably already know that it is a little more difficult for a man to do that than a woman but nonetheless it was going to have happen. Failure would've meant a severe spanking. Each of them was required to be witnessed by Mistress. That was tough but I was able to perform my fifth one for her in bed on Sunday night. It was a magical weekend as you can imagine.
DeleteAs submissives we must not ask why, we just comply. You may not desire a full orgasm however your Mistress does. As a good submissive you will give in to her desires and also as a good submissive you will enjoy when it happens and thank her after.
ReplyDeletearchedone
I most certainly will archedone. I most certainly will.
DeleteI just wanted to say, since you mentioned "forced orgasm", that cagedmonkey and I have often talked about how what we do is orgasm control. Basically I could make him cum 100 times if I wanted - even if he didn't want it.
ReplyDeleteWe often talk about play and sexual torture where he is "tortured" by something that feels good. Though by the time you are being forced to continue doing that good feeling thing past the point you want it to stop it becomes torture.
Just found it interesting that you put it that way. :)
~ Lady M
What an interesting concept in deed. Sort of like sexual gluttony. Presently, Mistress is not sadistic that way so it's not likely that she'll go that way, but one never knows, especially since it has been offered up as a concept.
DeleteObviously, in a general sense, there are many worse things than being "required" to have an orgasm. I my case, since i generally would rather have a ruined orgasm that a full orgasm (because my level of desire wans only slightly, if at all right after), Mistress does sometimes like to exercise her "sadist muscles" and require that I do something that I don't necessarily prefer to do. I was telling someone else in a comment on a another blog that one of my fondest submissive memories was one weekend when mistress informed me on Saturday morning that I was required to have 5 orgasms before I could go to sleep on Sunday evening, all of them being in her presence. Believe it or not, it was daunting and after the second, my dopamine levels and thus my desire for sex was zero. But, it isn't about me and it was what Mistress required of me so I did it. i wasn't happy about the act itself at the time, but as proud as a peacock to be able to complete a task i was given by my beloved Mistress. it was, in a sense, torture. Exquisite torture!
I like that, "exquisite torture" :)
Delete~LM
You are without a doubt, one of the most amazing sub's that I know, brother sub. :) xx
ReplyDeleteOMG, that's high praise and incredibly flattering. I'm blushing a little. If you really think so, it's only because of who owns my submission, my love and my devotion.
DeleteYou know I always love to hear from you sis, and today you've my heart soar. Thank you.
Aw, you are very welcome brother sub... it is just the truth. I have even at times found myself in those situations lately where I ask myself how you would handle things, and try to do better. So struggling with things lately still, not getting the Dominance that I need still. You and your Mistress both, are amazing. <3
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to know that you are struggling with anything sis. I wish I knew what things you are struggling with. Perhaps we could exchange some emails if you'd like. You know I'm there for you. I am so incredibly honored by your gracious words. XOXO
DeleteThank you, dear brother sub! I love the friendship that we have developed, and it seems so silly but I feel very close to you! :)
DeleteI will take you up on the email, I have to paint today *We are getting the house ready to go on the market in April*
Thank you for being you!!
xx