Tales of a very happily married couple living, loving and growing in a loving FLM in suburbia. A very lucky submissive husband that was collared on his 15th wedding anniversary. That being said, we love hearing your thoughts, opinions, praise and critiques. Feel free to email either of us directly. I hope you enjoy what you see and read and I would love to have your comments, questions and suggestions. Thank you for stopping by.
Sunday, April 8, 2018
How can this be exciting?
Ironically, I was explaining to Mistress K. about how happy and aroused with a recent (some might call ironic) episode we had together. More like a non-episode really. I was explaining to her how excited (and yes, even aroused) in recalling this past Thursday morning. I was leaving town that morning right after Mistress left for work. The night before in bed, she edged me 7-8 times ..... and it was so awesome, each time I was begging her to allow me to ejaculate, ruined-orgasm style. (Notice I said ejaculate, and NOT orgasm?)I wanted it sooooo bad (still do). When she was finally finished, she said, "we're done! Go to sleep!" Then a small giggle and said you've been a good boy. Maybe you'll get to release your cum in the morning before you leave town.
Well, the following morning came. Mistress woke up late. She had a busy day ahead with client meetings scheduled for early and often. That set off on the course of a shitty day. Then, the outfit she planned on wearing was tight and making her feel uncomfortable and, her hair wasn't cooperating ... you get the idea. Needless to say, there was ZERO interest in my desire, my "need" my craving to ejaculate. It's as if the incredible desire for me to ejaculate was of zero interest or concern for her. AS if whatever she was dealing with was way important than anything she may have felt I needed.
IN the past, Mistress K. may have otherwise felt a little bit of pressure to feel like the attention she thought I might need at that moment was something she needed to live up to. Yes, she is my Dominant Mistress Wife, but she comes from a place of feeling obligated to give in to what she thinks I was hoping for ... you know, so as to not disappoint me.
Not today. She now instinctively did not even give it a second thought. There was going to be NO attention paid to my perceived need for some sort of expected attention, let alone any release of my semen following the previous nights intense edging, and subsequent "promise" of release in the morning. NONE!
Instead of me being disappointed at her lack of attention ... I was thrilled that she had zero intention if giving in to what she may have perceived I might need or want. And, IT WAS AWESOME! Weird, right? No ... not weird. Mistress has come into her own and has embraced to the instinctive understanding that it HER needs and wants at any given moment, and NOT mine!
Hi Sub hub, not weird at all :) I can relate to how this made you feel. Everything on Mistress K's terms.
ReplyDeleteHugs
Roz
Hi Roz. Yup, it's the journey. her journey.
DeleteHi Sub Hub,
ReplyDeleteI found your blog a few weeks back and I have intently read all of your previous posts. It is a wonderful glimpse into Mistress K and your relationship. Thanks for sharing.
I believe you mentioned that at one point you and she were somewhat kinky but were not in a female led situation. I was wondering if you could give some thought to posting something about what made you decide that an FLR was the way to go. I am not necessarily looking for salacious details but rather what was the trigger that sent you down the path and how it was brought up between you. Did you initiate or was it something she started. Did you go full blown into FLR or was there a period where things ramped up.
I am asking because I am considering whether to bring up such a relationship with my wife. In recent weeks I I have had an epiphany that my wife is actually the dominant one in our relationship even though our play has at times been kinky she is very definitely not submissive outside the bedroom. I would like to understand how things started with you and Mistress K.
Love your blog!
SamIAm
Sorry to jump in here, but I study FLRs and if you feel the need to bring it up, you probably should. But its all about couching it in the right terms. A good FLR is about being a more supportive husband and trusting her judgment. You CAN start off small and grow her self confidence from there.
DeletePoint being she doesnt feel like this is going from zero to thigh highs and whips overnight. And most FLRs are vanilla with some kink.
Pardon me butting in!
Key
Hello SamIAM, and thank you for stopping by and commenting, and for your questions. I thought I had a blog post about "why" I thought an FLM was the "way to go", but I can't seem to find it so it must be comments buried somewhere.
DeleteFor me it was a simple, innocuous comment, wondering out loud if we were going to still be good friends after the kids left the nest. We got along fantastic, genuinely cared about and loved each other, so there was no reason to be concerned. But, it got me thinking ... what could I do to ensure that she received the love, attention, adoration, respect and worship that I had for this beautiful creature that I married? For me/us, it wasn't about trying to define who was the Dominant one, and who was the submissive one, and then going from there. Rather it was a conscious decision on my part to ask my wife to accept my complete submission, and to overtly accept the Dominant role in our marriage ... including the kinky stuff. In fact, having what others might describe as the kinky stuff be an integral part of our marriage, including spanking rituals and sex play.
I am often asked ... in my opinion, what is the one most important ingredient/element to a successful FLR? Orgasm control and her owning every aspect of my physical sexual pleasure. How crazy is it that hardly ever being allowed to ejaculate (ruined orgasm), let alone have a real orgasm, would be the source of the best sex I have ever had in my life?
Thank you Key Barrett. I absolutely agree about starting off small. I was smart enough (maybe lucky enough) to realize that in the beginning of our FLM, having done all the contemplating leading up to asking her accept my submission, having been marinating in all the reading, picture, details, contemplations, I had a bit more "experience" that Mistress K. when I sprung it on her. Clearly she needed the opportunity to "catch up" once she decided it was the path we were going as couple.
DeleteKnowledge is power. I bet unserstanding yourself and your needs helped you articulate it to her in a way that came off non threatening and didn't put the burden on her.
DeleteAnd as for your thought process "I fucking love this woman" is such a great place to start from!
Key
There is no doubt about it Key Barrett. One of things I consciously guarded against was making sure I was doing this for the right reasons. I constantly tested myself to be certain I was just trying to condition my wife into becoming my own, personal fetish provider. I also tested myself because if I wasn't able to use Mistress K's happiness and pleasure in life, as my primary source of pleasure, then it would all be bullshit!
DeleteSo much of what you said just perfectly encapsulates the submissive heart. Empathy, making sure your motives are pure, her needs are your needs. Beautiful.
DeleteBtw, I realize that you have gone into this in your very first posting but I am interested in knowing your thought processes as you decided to bring up the subject.
ReplyDeleteMy thought process was hey, I fucking love the shit out of this woman. I already knew she wasn't a prude and wouldn't be offended by the kink aspects. I already knew that she trusted me enough to accept what I was saying as the reason for my asking her, which was to adore and worship her ... for the rest of our lives. I believe that in order to accomplish that, there is always a need to have each other's physical needs met. An FLM seemed like a natural way to accomplish HER having her needs met, while not having to be concerned about mine. In turn, me seeing the joy she has in her life from her physical and other needs being met, sexually arouses me
DeleteTwo thoughts for SamiAm. First, get hold of a book called Uniquely Rika. Second, be careful not to confuse relationship structure with sex play. The point of Dominance is that She decides what She wants... even if that includes Her bottoming to sensations She enjoys. Good luck!!
ReplyDelete