- GENUINE PLEASURE FROM BEING THE SOURCE OF PLEASURE:
i get true GENUINE pleasure from being able to give Her pleasure in whatever form she needs or wants. I'm sure there are many relationships that operate under guise of a an FLR when in fact it is a façade and more a way for the male sub to get his kink needs met. Those needs usually come from fantasy based in what they've defined in their head from viewing standard porn. My blogging friend The Suburban Domme explains this concept way more eloquently that i ever could so i encourage you to check out her blog. It's excellent http://thesuburbandomme.com/ - ORGASM CONTROL AND OWNERSHIP:
i think it is uber important to feel enough trust, love and respect for your Dominant to be absolutely willing to give up control of your sex to that person. Things like; When and if you may allowed to orgasm .... The use/ownership of your body, in particular the parts of your body used for the sexual pleasure of my Mistress (cock and balls, bottom and anus, mouth, fingers, etc.), at her whim, at Her discretion anytime She wants, for whatever reason She decides and whenever She decides. When contemplating bringing my desire to submit to my Wife 2 years ago or so, in an otherwise loving, vanilla marriage, i knew that i had to come to grips with the idea that it was truly in order to please Her and not just to get my kink needs met. - PUNISHMENT:
i think that it is important that there is punishment in the relationship for anything that my Mistress may deem punishable. Punishments come in many varieties and they differ greatly with each couple, but the core purpose of punishment is to correct a behavior of the submissive that displease the Mistress in any way she decides, for whatever reason she decides. In my little slice of heaven, punishments usually come in the form of a spanking. Sometimes the spankings really, really hurt, and other times Mistress may use them to make a point without feeling as though She needs to inflict too much pain. Sometimes the punishment is something as simple as making me wear a cage on my cock, or denying me sexual pleasures that she knows i really crave/enjoy. In any event, i believe the punishments are very healthy way for Mistress to be able to correct a wrong. For me, it allows me to be able to rid myself of the shame i tend to carry by the mere knowledge that i have displeased Mistress.
These things are general and they are just my opinions and essential to what my Mistress and i believe are important in our lives. It's not my intention here to tell or suggest to anyone else what they should do or not do, or how they should live their Wife Led Marriage. That's for the individual couple to decide. Nor is it my intention to attempt to run a giant of things that might otherwise attempt to define things in this category or that category. mMy intention is to simply speak on the anchor points, the foundational similarities that go into the relationships we each have.
i love my Wife and i love my life and very much love the journey that W/we are on together. I truly do love hearing about how others make their FLM journeys through life. So tell me, what are some of things you do in your FLM life that you feel are the conerstones of your successful relationships? I'd love to hear from you.
subhubphx
These three element are very important. you have expressed them very well. We believe item one is critical. In our life, love, respect, trust, and communications have been critical. i have always been ready, willing, and able to follow Mistress Barbara. Mistress Barbara has been mad at me; punished me; shared me with family and friends, but has never hated or disrespected me. Everyone is different and enjoys different levels of intensities. However, at the heart of the FLR is love, trust, and respect for each other as we subs bring pleasue to our Mistress/Master. Amen to your post.
ReplyDeletethank you for commenting and thank you for the kinds words my friend!
DeleteAs I read I assumed that love trust and respect were assumed - as I believe that leading and following can only be effectively accomplished if there is an underlying healthy loving relationship with the couple who is in a WLM arrangement. The qualities that came to my mind was obedience on the part of the husband, leadership on the part of the wife and open and honest communication between both. I thought not so much about punishment as you described but 'correction'. I believe there is a difference as punishment can point out that something wasn't done properly but correction implies that instruction is given so that whatever wrong was committed isn't repeated. Nice post!
ReplyDeleteNicely said my friend, and I agree with you. there is a difference between "punishment" and "correction". I suppose the words could even be combined by saying calling it a correction punishment perhaps?
DeleteIn any event, I appreciate you thinking of my entry to want to comment. Thank you!
All great points! I think #1 is the most important, as everything in a WLM stems from it - the true submissive sense of getting pleasure from pleasing your dominant.
ReplyDeleteCouldn't agree more monkeyinacage4her. I think that for anyone that is or thinks they want to be in a D/s relationship, regardless of who is Dom/Domme and who is sub, if the sub can't genuinely feel that inside their heart and head, then it will be a short lived relationship.
DeleteThanks for commenting and I thoroughly enjoy reading your blog!
Thanks so much for the link to The Suburban Domme. She has a wealth of very sensible information on real life issues from the woman's perspective.
ReplyDeleteEssential reading for any men who believe that they want to make it real, not their porn fantasy.
Thanks for the comment MRBILL. isn't she great? Aren't they all great? There is an enormous difference for me when following real people doing TTWD and the one's that are just peddling porn.
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