Sunday, April 3, 2022

Here's what you will be doing tonight


Immediately following our Sunday morning review/readings, Mistress K. informed of what our evening was going to be like tonight.

At 8pm precisely, she will enter our bedroom and expect that everything will be ready for me to give her a sexy massage.  Table set-up.  Oils warned.  Candles.  Everything.

She will be massaged.

It will be erotic.

Special attention will be paid to the parts that make her feel good.

"Then you will put on my new boyfriend cock and you will make love to me, then fuck good, hard and for as long as I want, until I am done.  Then I will go to sleep.

"Is that clear?"  Yes Mistress!

Friday, April 1, 2022

Chastity/Denial Matrix - Tip of the Cap to Tom Allen and Mrs Edge


I've told you before that the path Mistress K. and I are on has accelerated nicely, and even to places that neither of us maybe would've even predicted.  One such place is (mostly) "permanent denial" along with (kinda mostly) orgasm denial.  It really is astonishing how things evolve to a place that would've never logically even thought to be possible.  Yet here we are.

I came across a VERY, VERY good blog post from someone I have known and admire in blog-land for years. Mr. Tom Allen.  

When being involved in a discussion about permanent chastity, the conversation invariably devolves to a debate as to the meaning of the word permanent.  That's why when I refer to myself, I always refer to it (mostly) permanent chastity.  I'd just rather avoid the useless debate about what the word "permanent" means.

This post by Tom Allen sums up perfectly the problem with discussions sometimes, and even better, provides a way to accurately portray what one's definition of permanent chastity and orgasm denial is.  I've cut and pasted the Matrix chart and definitions of each category for your easy reference.  Using this chart and list of variables, I firmly identify as 8 on the "caged" scale, and 7, ok 7.5 on the denial scale.  Where do you land?

Chastity / Denial

Defining the Caged (x) axis:
(There’s going to be some subjectivity to this, which is fine.)

0: Obviously, never locked, perhaps not even owning a device.
1: Has a device, worn sometimes for play.
2: Wears the device for extended play (a weekend, or maybe a week once in a while).
3: Wears it for extended play, or fairly frequently
4: Wears it frequently, maybe several days a week, or maybe a week or two at a time.
5: Wears it roughly half the time.
6: Wears it more often than not, with frequent removal.
7: Wears it almost all the time, but unlocked for certain occasions or situations.
8: Always worn, with infrequent removal (medical, travel, etc.)
9: Always worn, including travel, and their doctor has seen it.
10: Essentially permanently installed.

Defining the Denial (y) axis:
(Again, assuming that there will be some subjective evaluations)

0: Always allowed to have an orgasm, perhaps frequently. Denial isn’t even in the vocabulary here.
1: Almost always will get an orgasm.
2: Orgasm rarely denied
3: Usually gets to orgasm, although there might be a surprise ruin in there.
4: Orgasms may not be guaranteed, or possibly used as a reward.
5: Orgasms maybe half the time, perhaps ruined.
6: Orgasms are usually denied.
7: Rarely allowed orgasm, although possible ruins/milkings allowed.
8: Orgasms not allowed, although may have accidental ruins or emissions.
9: Orgasms not allowed, ruins not allowed, may possibly have accidents.
10: Orgasms and emissions never allowed.

I recommend highly that you check out Tom Allen's Tumblr blog and his wonderful wife's Tumblr blogs here and here.  Yes, she's that good that she has two different Tumblr blogs.  Mistress K. and I have been inspired by the beautiful and wonderful permanently caged and permanent denial relationship that these two marvelous people portray to the world.  Although there are differences in our respective lifestyle, the permanence part was something we have begun to do because of that inspiration, and our lives and love have never been better and deeper.  

Thanks for stopping by.  I'd love to hear your thoughts.  


Oh, I almost forgot ... why that particular picture at the top of the page?  Because it's hot, that's why.  I've always encouraged Mistress K. that she should take on a female "assistant" for companionship and to help out with some of the chores in her life that can't or currently don't assist her with.  

Friday, March 18, 2022

Maintenance Spanking - What are your thoughts?

 Men do need discipline.  I realize that not everybody in the FLR/WLM world believes in or practices spanking of the male by the Dominant Female.  That's cool.  But among those that do, what are your thoughts on maintenance spanking?  You know, the kind of spanking that perhaps happens regularly as a not-so-subtle reminder of what is in store if disappointment of the Mistress should happen, for whatever reason.

Should maintenance spanking be the kind that is really kind of not fun?  

Should it be the kind that is memorable but maybe not as severe as a punishment spanking?

Should it be the kind that is used for conditioning?  Perhaps so there is an association of some stinging and edging?

Mistress K. and I have talked recently about implementing maintenance spanking in our house but just haven't yet.  We both realize that it does require some physical effort on her part, which isn't something she want to do at a given moment.  She is contemplating whether or not the effort is worth the benefit.

Please do share your thoughts and experience about maintenance spankings.  I'd love to be able to provide Mistress K. with feedback she can use while she contemplates.

Have a great weekend everyone, and thank you for stopping by.

Saturday, March 12, 2022

Every Once in Awhile

 A year ago, when my Mature Metal Bird Cage chastity cage arrived, I went from a husband that wore a cage only on very rare occasions, and even the was only as punishment for severe infractions.  It was used as a punishment then because it was very uncomfortable and frankly, not very sanitary after just a day or so.  The Bird Cage solved both of those problems.

We soon began to recognize that my attitude was greatly improved when caged, and as such, Mistress K. began to cage me more and more and more often and for longer periods of time.  Then, when we had and Mistress wanted to be penetrated, she would have me wear a dildo and strap on cock, for a few reasons but not the least of which was there was no reason to remove my cage.  

We began rapidly to move in the direction of (mostly) permanent caged chastity and (mostly) exclusive use of the Vixskin dildo in the strap on harness.  That may sound terrible on the surface but it's not!  We have both had some of the best sex of our marriage during this time.  Yes, me too.  

I was allowed as many ejaculations in this past as I normally would have.  Once Mistress learned I was able to orgasm (ruined) while caged, it added to the list of good reasons to not have to remove the cage.  Most of those ejaculations came via an uncaged ruined orgasm, and I still get those from time to time.  The ruined orgasm that comes because I am caged is a just a new variety she's discovered from the (mostly) permanent cage wear.  The 2-3 non-ruined orgasms, although there was stimulation allowed until all the ejaculate was, well, ejaculated (full-on orgasm), they were still just a slight improvement over a properly ruined orgasm.  Last night was different.

We went and had a nice Italian dinner at our favorite neighborhood joint.  Enjoyed some fine 18-year-old scotch were just chillin.  Both of us complaining about how tired we were, etc.  The dinner was delicious and the scotch, well the scotch lit a fire in Mistress that needed to be put out - pronto!  "Let's go now.", she said.  In the car she said we were "having sex" when we got home.  "The minute we walk in the door you are to get naked and take your cage off. "  In the time it took to do that she was naked and growling.  

She took hers.

Then she gave some of it to me.  

After she came down to earth from her massive orgasm, she said "I want you fuck me and yes, you may cum!"  It was the first time I had a full-on orgasm since September.  It was the first time I was inside her since the beginning of February.  It was the first time that I wasn't on the edge of orgasm, entered her and thrusted, and thrusted, and thrusted and kept thrusting until I came inside her.  It was the first that happened, and the first time I came inside in I don't know how long.  The absolute cherry on top was that we had massive simultaneous orgasms.  It was wow!

Immediately following ... "put your cage back on!"

I have the greatest life because I have the greatest wife.  I love you Mistress!

Friday, February 25, 2022

A Loving Mistress CAN change her mind

A Mistress in a loving Wife-Led-Marriage is a marvelous and mysterious, beautiful being.  Mistress K., like every other Dominant woman in a loving relationship, has her preferences.  Her likes and dislikes.  Things that turn her on and off, and even things that she may indulge me in because, well, she loves me and wants me to be happy.  And of course, a Mistress can indulge in whatever it may be at any given moment that may make her happy.  

I've blogged recently about a number of things in our relationship that have recently developed for us as our journey has accelerated since we became empty nesters.  New things for us include (mostly) permanent caged chastity ... penetrative sex for her is now mostly achieved by me wearing a strap on harness that holds her "boyfriend", which allows her to not have to worry about anything that might get in the way of her getting fucked long and hard enough to completely exhaust her ... increased punishment spankings, etc.

Then, about 3 weeks ago, business and life found ways to begin to put our dynamic more and more on the back burner in some senses.  It happens.  Last week I went on a fishing trip with the boys, and Mistress allowed me to remove my cage so I wouldn't have any unnecessary explaining to do while peeing off the side of the boat.  I returned home last Sunday and as of today (Friday), she has not had me put the cage back on but has been telling me it is going back on (mostly) permanent in the "next day or so" but has yet to happen.  

The spankings over that time have all but disappeared as well.  The exception being 2 days ago when she hauled me into the closet, had me bend over the island in the closet, and spanked my ass hard because I wasn't paying enough attention to the dog and he shit on the floor.  Ouch!

Mistress K. has also never had much interest in feminizing me. She enjoys her masculine, otherwise alpha, submissive husband to be a man.  Yes, occasionally she will have me wear panties because she likes that, but it has never evolved into more feminization like hose, skirts, bras and the like.  That works for me too because, although I am keenly aware that whatever she wants, she will have, inside our established limits of course.  

Of course, it is the prerogative of any Mistress to change her mind at any given moment.  Hence the title of this piece.  All of a sudden, this morning, Mistress K. called me into the bathroom where she was sitting in front of the mirror, getting ready for her day.  She told me to strip naked, go put on some sexy , lacy thong panties, a very feminine apron and my marital collar.  My marital collar is the collar I wore during our collaring ceremony we had on our 15th wedding anniversary.  No explanation!  On her way out the door I was instructed that this how I was to be dressed for the entire day while she was at the office.  

It's 10am.  I'm dressed as instructed and left to wonder what the rest of the day and my evening will entail.  

A Mistress in a loving Wife-Led-Marriage is a marvelous and mysterious, beautiful being!

Oh, why the picture at the top of this post?  Because it looks a lot like Mistress K.!!

Monday, February 14, 2022

Go Put Your Cock on

 First, let me just say ... Happy Valentine's Day love birds !!!

Yesterday's weekly reading session got Mistress K. hot, bothered and needing relief.  We read many different things together, but yesterday's session was mostly erotic stories.  They were really good, and she wanted a good fucking.  At the conclusion of the final story she said, "Go get our cock on!"  That meant go get this ready.  It was a recent purchase, and she has fallen in love with it.  

She knows that getting fucked with her new friend, inside the strap on harness, means there will be nothing that will stop her from getting the kind of penetration that she wants ... and needs.  She had a few things to finish up while I got him ready.  Getting him ready means warming him up in hot tap water for a few minutes prior to going into the harness.  

Just as I got her new friend securely in the harness, she emerged, dropped her robe and went right to the bed, opened her legs and said, "come here".  For the next 30 minutes or so she got a good deep, long-lasting fucking in every position she desired before exploding into a deep, hard orgasm that left her completely spent.

Of course, there was no orgasm for me.  It's been four months since my last full-on orgasm and three months since my last ejaculation (ruined orgasm).  Even still, yesterday was one of the most amazing sexy times with my Wife I can remember.  

Life is good in our house because life is good for Mistress K., which is what makes it good for me.  I need to go, she'll be home from work soon.

Tuesday, January 25, 2022

The Glorious Ruined Orgasm

I just haven't seen much discussion the www about the glorious ruined orgasm.  What makes it glorious?  Several things ... like there is no loss in sexual interest, libido or desire for your wife.  Multiple ejaculations are easy, ok easier.  

It's something a Dominant Wife can do for her husband without removing his cage.   

Like I said, there are many things that make it glorious.  But rather me blathering on about the benefits, I'd rather allow Mz Kaylee do so by reprinting a post from her EXCELLENT blog about The Art of The Ruined Orgasm.  If you haven't already, go check out her blog!

The Art of The Ruined Orgasm

Last night I gave Thomas a ruined orgasm.  A ruined orgasm is when you stop providing stimulation to you man's cock when he starts to cum or right before he starts to cum, thereby ruining his orgasm.  The man may feel a brief moment of pleasure but then it immediately vanishes leaving him frustrated.  I have to admit that I get a thrill from seeing his desperation and it is even more thrilling that he thanks me afterward.  He is like a puppy dog that is always happy...always wagging his tail no matter what I do.  Some may consider this cruel, but even Thomas enjoys when I ruin his orgasms because it is another form of control that he gets to experience.  To him a full blown orgasm is a very special privilege that he only experiences on a rare occasions. Denying his orgasm keeps him feeling submissive and controlled.  He craves this feeling and enjoys the mental game. 

The thrill and arousal that I experience from his ruined orgasm is only a part of the reason I do it.  I also consider the ruined orgasm a powerful tool for controlling Thomas and keeping him obedient.  The biggest advantage of a ruined orgasm is that it allows the man some release but avoids the post orgasm "slump" that most men experience after an full orgasm.  The slump I am referring to is when the man loses all energy and loses interest in sex and pleasing the woman.  After a ruined orgasm, many men do not experience the slump or it is very brief.  Thomas will often remain hard after the ruined orgasm.  His level of horniness remains high as well. 

Another advantage of the ruined orgasm is that it is one more tool to add to your bag of tricks for teasing and orgasm control.  You can tell your man that he is allowed to orgasm and then at the moment he is about to orgasm or as soon as it starts you release his cock.  Incorporating this into your T&D keeps your man guessing about what to expect.  Not only will it be a mystery of when he can orgasm but now he won't even know if it will be a full orgasm or ruined orgasm.  Ruining his orgasm also prolongs his denial period. He gets some release but not a full orgasm.  Therefore you can prolong the timeframe of when he is allowed a full orgasm by slipping in a few ruined orgasms. 

One final benefit that I would like to point out is that it can be used as a punishment.  If your man has been naughty or simply not meeting your expectations, you can announce that the next orgasm (or next 2, 3, etc.) will be ruined. 

Now that I covered the purpose of the ruined orgasm, let's go over some methods of how to ruin the orgasm.  As the title of this blog indicates, it is more of an art than a science.  There are many techniques and approaches to the ruined orgasm. You can get very creative with it.  Each person is different and as you get to know your man's reactions, you can adjust your techniques to maximize his teasing. 

The most basic approach is to stroke his cock and then at the moment he first spurts you release his cock and let it twitch and spurt on its own.  He will experience very brief pleasure at the first spurt but then once you release and there is no friction the orgasm becomes ruined and he is left frustrated.  This is a good way to introduce him to the ruined orgasm.  In my college days I would often do this with guys.  Back then I did it more for teasing then orgasm control. It was a bit cruel I guess but I loved it.  Funny thing was, the most guys would want to come back for me. I think they just never experienced a girl that paid so much attention to their cock. lol.

Another technique is to release his cock before he starts to cum.  This may take some practice because you have to anticipate when the orgasm is coming.  If you spend a considerable amount of time teasing your guy or if he has been denied an orgasm for a long period of time, this becomes easier to do.  With Thomas, I will often bring him to the edge of orgasm over and over again, stopping before he has an orgasm.  I will do this for 30 or more minutes. Usually by then he is mush and can barely control himself.  If I decide to go the ruined orgasm route, I will lightly stroke his cock with one or two fingers.  It literally twitches and bobs as he tries to hold back his orgasm.  At this point, if I gave him permission to orgasm, I could stroke with one finger and then he would shoot.  I prefer to tell him to try not to orgasm.  I enjoy seeing him struggle.  He eventually gets to a point where he can't hold back.  The fun part with this is that I can do a stroke or two and then watch his cock as he struggles to prevent his orgasms.  There have been times when I have stroked his cock and then watched him struggle for 20 or 30 seconds and then he spurted without me touching him.  That is art!  It is beauty to see him struggle and work so hard to please and obey me.  It is also a power rush to know that I control him so much and that no matter how hard he tries he can not stop me from giving him an orgasm.  What a mind fuck for him!  In these situations I don't feel that it is fair to punish him for having an orgasm without permission.  However,  I usually give him the disappointed look and tell him how weak he is.  

The variations (both mental and physical) you can apply to the above two techniques are endless and that's what makes is fun.  Some variations to experiment with:

  •  Announce the ruined orgasm ahead of time or surprise him
  • Tell him to try and orgasm while you tease him or tell him try not to orgasm while you tease him.  Imagine the fun of him trying to orgasm only to have you pull away at the last second and leave him with nothing.  Do this a few times and then send him over the edge and let go.
  • Use your hands, mouth, tongue, panties, feathers, etc. to tease him. One of the most interesting videos I watched was a woman that held her man's cock straight up and she very slowly licked from bottom  to top until he spurted.
  • Make him ruin the orgasm himself.  This is a good test of his loyalty. Will he let go before he spurts (bonus points for him), at the first spurt (good boy), or will he push the envelope and hold on a little longer after he spurts (bad boy.  Punishment time!).
  • Combine with anal pleasure.  Stimulating the prostate will cause his cum to leak-out more.  Some women use this technique regularly to "milk" their man so that he can go very long periods without a orgasm.

Experiment and have fun with the variations.  I think it is great to always keep Thomas guessing as to what will happen next.  I want to share a ruined orgasm experience that I had with Thomas that absolutely drove him crazy for days afterwards but it has literally taking me over two weeks to write this post because I have been busy so I will share that experience in a follow-up post.

-Mz Kaylee