Words Matter Even If You Are Just Joking

 

I've always known that words when they are said, leave an indelible mark on the one those words are directed to.  Even when those words are said in jest, or "just joking", which is why I could never get behind SPH or the humiliation of a cuck husband if it was the Wife's desire to fuck other men.  

In our household, I am the one who makes all the money, and we do pretty well.  Some might say very well.  Not bragging or swelling my chest, it's just a fact.  In fact, it's one of the things that makes me happiest in terms of being able to achieve my goal of giving my Wife a blissful existence.

Recently, Mistress K. and I were just bumping around the house, doin stuff, laughing, and having fun, when I made a kidding, joking comment about how she should be nice to me because I make the money.  Boom, her demeanor changed in a nano-second.

Even though I was joking, and even though there was absolutely no doubt that I was joking, she immediately stopped what she was doing, stopped smiling, walked right up to me, and with a finger in my face, very sternly said "You will never say anything like that to me again! Ever! Everything in this house ... everything that exists in any account we have anywhere, is mine!  Everything of value belongs to me!  Do you understand that?"  I gulped and simply said, "Yes Mistress, of course."

She said, "Become completely naked this second."  Then turned to walk to the bathroom, which is where we keep the key to my Jail Bird cage.  When she returned, I was naked and she handed me the key and said "get that thing off."  

"Masturbate to completion! Right now.  Don't stop, don't ask for permission to cum, just masturbate to completion."  Yes Mistress, I said.  There was nothing sexy or horny about it.  Based on her mood and demeanor, it didn't me long to figure out that I was in store for the worst kind of punishment spanking.  The post-orgasm spanking.  Jesus.

Immediately after I ejaculated, she pointed and said "get my paddle."  "Oh please Mistress, not that.", I said.  Mistress K. only uses post-orgasm spankings when she is REALLY unhappy with me.  Why?  Because being required to cum immediately before getting a spanking takes away any sexy or erotic feelings about it.  In other words, there is only one thing to focus on ... the pain of the paddle.  

"You will never entertain those thoughts about our marriage ever again, even if you ARE kidding.  Do you understand?"

She proceeded to give a very hard, long paddling.  It hurt.  I have never been so close to tears while being punished as I was then.

She stopped, left the room and returned with my red thong panties.  "Put these on and return to face the wall."  The paddling continued.  Mercifully it ended shortly thereafter.

She put me in the corner and lectured me about how words matter, and that there are just some things that never get said, even if you think you are kidding.  "There is always some truth to what is said, even if you are kidding.  Now, you will not move a muscle until I come and release you.  You will think about what just happened here."

"Yes, Mistress. Thank you for my punishment, Mistress."  On her way out of the room, she said "We have guests coming for dinner tonight.  You WILL be on your very best behavior!".  "Yes, Mistress."

After what seemed like forever (it turned out it was actually 20 minutes) she returned.  "Step back and bend at the waist with your legs straight."  I thought more paddling was going to happen but instead, she pushed my glass butt plug in my mouth and said, "Get this wet."  I did.

She pulled it out of my mouth, got behind me, pulled my panties to the side, and told me to spread my cheeks.  She spit on my bottom hole, and gently but firmly pushed the plug inside me.

"Stand up and face me.", she said.  I did.  She was smiling and told me that this was all over, that she felt like she had made her point, and that I was to put my cage back on, get in the shower, and help her prepare for our guests to arrive.

"Yes Mistress. Thank you for my correction, Mistress.  I am very much aware that everything we have in our life is owned by you Mistress. It will never happen again, Mistress."

Goddam, I love this woman!

This Is Never a Problem

 This is never a problem in a loving, functional Female Led Relationship.  Why?  Because it's simply not allowed.  

Part of what makes a functional FLR work is the knowledge that his orgasms just don't matter, and that sex and sexual pleasure (orgasms) is exclusively for her.  If she takes pleasure in spanking him for fun or punishment (or both), fucking him with a strap-on, requiring he give her oral on demand, denying his orgasms for however long she wants (including forever), being told to remove his cage then having him masturbate for her to edge of orgasm, being told to stop and being right back into the cage, etc, so forth and so on ... then those things will happen.

Yes Mistress, very clear!

It's incredibly easy to legitimately enjoy being told this and knowing that it fits you to a T.

The second she finds comfort in feeling this way, she can actually begin to experience the joy of living a life of bliss and comfort.

Well-behaved husbands are rewarded for their service, devotion, adoration and service.

"Good boys get treats."  

Sometimes, very loving and wonderful treats.

Not-so-good-boys get corrected.  It's just what a loving Mistress Wife must do consistently to maintain order in her home.

Do your job boys.  Her ass and body is not going to worship itself.

And most importantly, never forget the basic ingredients to a wonderful existence.

Words of Wisdom and a Beautiful Explanation

 

I get messages often from all sorts of people.  Most of them have a preconceived notion of what "all" submissive men, or "all" dominant women, or "all" WLM marriages are all about because they are experts ... because, you know, the internet.  To some (perhaps many), it's not possible for a masculine, alpha man, who is a leader in every aspect of his life, to also be submissive to his wife.  

One of my favorite Femdom Lifestyle bloggers is Vanessa Chaland at a blog called Queening Chairs - Spanking Benches - BDSM.  She's wonderfully insightful, funny intelligent, and by all accounts seems to have the 'No Bullshit' demeanor that makes many powerful women sexy.  If you don't already look at her blog, you should.  It's wonderful.  

I have struggled with the vague, general language used to describe various people and things in the kink world.  All submissives are this way.  All Dominants are that way.  Etcetera.  On January 4th, she published a blog called Submissive "Suffering"...  In it, she very eloquently explained the benefits of a submissive as well as the difference between a submissive and a simp.  It does a wonderful job of cutting through the bullshit and vague generalities when it comes to submissives, especially submissive men.  Give it a look.

The cut-and-paste version is below.  You can check it out directly on her blog here.  Thank you for permission to share Vanessa Chaland.

Thursday, January 4, 2024

Submissive "Suffering"...

    I can think of no other edifice constructed by man as altruistic as a lighthouse. 

They were built only to serve. ~ George Bernard Shaw

Are submissives an edifice? No, not really, not at all. They are living breathing beings with a soul, aspirations, feelings and emotions, not just a cold stonelike building. Yet still, they "serve" others, and with a certain level of benevolence and altruism right? Yes, yes indeed. 

Not everyone has the desire to serve only themselves, their own wants and desires, that "me/me/me" mentality. Not everyone has the urge to focus their lives on materialistic possessions, greed, or tangible items. For many people, the main thing that matters in life is other human beings. For some, obviously, that could be a parent with child, or caring for family, relatives, or the impoverished, the downtrodden, those without a voice. For some, it might be caring for animals and the planet, or a combination of some or all of the above. 

For some, more akin to a hedonistic lifestyle, it's the happiness and well-being of their spouse, their lover, husband, wife, and that would be applicable to those that are straight, gay, bi, tri, trans, whatever. 

It could mean anything from making sure the eggs and hash-browns they make for breakfast for their "other" are perfectly cooked, to wiping away a tear if that person had a bad day, to a massage, cuddles, hugs, big huge bear hugs, to the more intimate aspects, providing pleasure, oral sex, tongue, more tongue, followed up by a side order of...even more tongue. This might include "suffering" from corporal punishment, being teased and denied, in chastity, blue balls, verbal humiliation, being ordered to engage in what some, perhaps most, would consider degrading acts, whatever it is...it's all done to make their "other" happy, which thereby transfers to their own pleasure and happiness as...they desire to serve. Not sure if this is based on nature or nurture, or a combination of both. I doubt this has ever been appropriately studied, and I'm not sure it could be figured out even if it was, but either way, some people are just wired to serve others.  

 Compersion refers to a form of joy, in the joy of others. 

A lot of people conflate "submissive" with being a "simp". For me, they are not at all the same. A simp is a guy who does anything for a woman, any woman, just to seek her attention and perhaps affection. This is no good. It's not good as...she is not necessarily worthy of that attention. Just being woman, just having a hole between your legs, does not automatically mean being deserving...of anything. Vaginas are ubiquitous. Roughly 50% of Earths population are women, meaning a vagina owner, they are not rare. They are everywhere. 

Don't be a simp guys, ever, period. No woman deserves that treatment...at all. You want the woman that you are "submissive" to, to be appreciative of your efforts and devotion. The reciprocal aspect of this, is her not taking your "suffering" for granted. She knows the how and why you are offering it, why you are doing it, it's a heartwarming gesture and for a dominant woman, a sexual thrill, as opposed to just some random woman taking whatever you offer out of a sense of entitlement and then ignoring you for the rest of her life, forgetting you even exist or what it is you did on her behalf. Huge difference. One is not the same as the other. One is uplifting for you, for the sub, as it elevates your sense of worth and value in making her life better, where it is acknowledged and appreciated, adored, the other is the opposite, it devalues you, reduces you to a "lesser" status, taken for granted, and is not understood nor validates your own worth...as a submissive, as man, or as a human being. You want to "suffer" for a woman? Good, good for you. Just make sure she is worthy of that gift.  :) 

A Good Submissive Man is Not Hard to Find...They Just Need Training.

~ Vanessa Chaland 

I hope you enjoyed her wisdom as much as I did.

I Was Outed in Public

 

You may know by now that I am kept locked in my cage 24/7/365 (mostly), with the exception, of course, of cleaning and shaving.  As with anything that becomes a full-time permanent thing in your life, you get very used to it.  Such is the case with my cage.  

A few days ago, a relative was getting married and the ceremony was decidedly low-key and was held before a Judge in the County Courts building.  We were asked to dress fancy because, after the ceremony, all 12 of us in attendance were going out to dinner.  So ... I put on my best grey suit and rushed out the door with Mistress K. because we were running late.  I caught all the lights on the way there so we arrived plenty early.  As we were walking toward the court building, I realized I left my phone in the car.  "I'll be right back babe", I said as turned back to the parking lot.  When I got to the car, Mistress had texted "IF, if they let you in the building, take the hall on the left."  IF?  What the fuck does IF mean?  Were they locking the place up?

As soon as I got into the building, there it was.  The security checkpoint, with full metal detectors, actual cops, and a TSA-like guy with a metal detector wand standing on the other side, just like at the airport.  OH FUCK, I thought.  My stainless steel cage.  OH FUCK!  Well, I went through the machine a few times and not surprisingly it beeped on me.  The guy with the wand finally waved over to him and started to wand me.  Every time he got near my cock; it went off.  This was my worst dream come true.  I'm here ... and this is all happening. He asked me if I was sure I had emptied my pockets so finally I motioned him over so I could whisper in his ear what was going on.  As matter-of-factly as I could I just quietly told him it was a stainless-steel chastity cage.  He stepped back, looked at me, looked down at my pants, looked at me again, looked at my pants again, and finally said "OK, but how do I know?"  

I pulled the fabric of my very expensive Italian pants so the outline of the Mature Metal Jail Bird cage could be seen.  After seeing that, he looked at me again, smiled, and lightly tapped the wand against the cage, and said "OK, you have a nice day now.", and let me through.  I smiled back and winked.  He told me "You'd be surprised how many of those we run into." and winked back.  As I was gathering my other stuff and putting my belt back on, I could see him telling another agent, a woman, what just happened.  They both giggled and looked over at me.  I just said, "Thank you, and have a nice day." and walked off toward the room where the wedding took place.  

You might have thought that I would be sweating like a whore in church, but I wasn't.  It all just seemed so normalized.  When I told Mistress about it she asked if I was embarrassed.  I told her I wasn't.  That it was even a bit thrilling to be revealed like that in a semi-public scenario.  Then she said ... "Now you know why I said IF you get in.  We both had a chuckle and proceeded to witness the ceremony.